WhatPumpkin, LLC / Homestuck, Inc. : Chuck Tingle, Andrew Hussie and Friends - feat. Rachel Rocklin, Shelby Cragg, and Cohen Edenfield

[Guts]

> Andy: Retreive blue hedgehog arms from drawer.

Those nonspecific hedgehog arms aren't fucking BLUE, goddammit!... Or at least they shouldn't be. That's the entire reason you have these things in the first place. A fever of religious excitement supposedly overcame you when you first glanced at the heretical blue-washing that was taking place before you, and by the time you had regained full awareness you were being dragged from the GameShop with these idolatrous trophies clenched in between your autistic little fists. Just looking at them is starting to bring on a red mist. You don't even really fully understand why you care so passionately about what amounts to a disagreement over window trim. You also don't know why you still have these. Oh well. Spoils are spoils, you guess. You put them back for now.

>Question why you haven't changed the calendar yet

Calendar...? Oh, right. You almost completely forgot about that thing. You haven't actually needed to use a calendar for a good few years; smartphones nixed their importance pretty quickly. In an attempt to connect more to the physical realm and it's time constraints, you had attempted to keep a physical log of time passed. Or... keep a calendar on the wall, if you were to actually try to speak like a human being. Over time, it became apparent that you weren't going to use it, and it hanging there never exactly caused problems so you just never bothered to take it down. Oh well. You may as well take this moment of lucidity to doodle a crude representation of a spreading anus on the picture. Much better.

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

what is happening

Not much is happening with WhatPumpkin, so we decided to do our own thing to help with our boredom.

 

[Not Absolutely]

View attachment 2281006
Those nonspecific hedgehog arms aren't fucking BLUE, goddammit!... Or at least they shouldn't be. That's the entire reason you have these things in the first place. A fever of religious excitement supposedly overcame you when you first glanced at the heretical blue-washing that was taking place before you, and by the time you had regained full awareness you were being dragged from the GameShop with these idolatrous trophies clenched in between your autistic little fists. Just looking at them is starting to bring on a red mist. You don't even really fully understand why you care so passionately about what amounts to a disagreement over window trim. You also don't know why you still have these. Oh well. Spoils are spoils, you guess. You put them back for now.

View attachment 2281009
Calendar...? Oh, right. You almost completely forgot about that thing. You haven't actually needed to use a calendar for a good few years; smartphones nixed their importance pretty quickly. In an attempt to connect more to the physical realm and it's time constraints, you had attempted to keep a physical log of time passed. Or... keep a calendar on the wall, if you were to actually try to speak like a human being. Over time, it became apparent that you weren't going to use it, and it hanging there never exactly caused problems so you just never bothered to take it down. Oh well. You may as well take this moment of lucidity to doodle a crude representation of a spreading anus on the picture. Much better.

> Andy: Grab a 12 gauge and kill Vriska.

 

[Emperor Percival Tachyon]

View attachment 2281006
Those nonspecific hedgehog arms aren't fucking BLUE, goddammit!... Or at least they shouldn't be. That's the entire reason you have these things in the first place. A fever of religious excitement supposedly overcame you when you first glanced at the heretical blue-washing that was taking place before you, and by the time you had regained full awareness you were being dragged from the GameShop with these idolatrous trophies clenched in between your autistic little fists. Just looking at them is starting to bring on a red mist. You don't even really fully understand why you care so passionately about what amounts to a disagreement over window trim. You also don't know why you still have these. Oh well. Spoils are spoils, you guess. You put them back for now.

View attachment 2281009
Calendar...? Oh, right. You almost completely forgot about that thing. You haven't actually needed to use a calendar for a good few years; smartphones nixed their importance pretty quickly. In an attempt to connect more to the physical realm and it's time constraints, you had attempted to keep a physical log of time passed. Or... keep a calendar on the wall, if you were to actually try to speak like a human being. Over time, it became apparent that you weren't going to use it, and it hanging there never exactly caused problems so you just never bothered to take it down. Oh well. You may as well take this moment of lucidity to doodle a crude representation of a spreading anus on the picture. Much better.

> Andy: Reee like an autist and crap in your briefs.

 

[Mooger Meng]

Welp, we've done it now. Great job, assholes.

Please continue. <3

 

[Broble64]

can't believe I happened to find this thread right when this beautiful autism was occurring (i mean that in the best way possible)

 

[The Lawgiver]

Not much is happening with WhatPumpkin, so we decided to do our own thing to help with our boredom.

It's insane how there's literally been no more info on anything since the "haitus announcement" for homestuck 2, not even a hint that they're doing fucking anything. Dead silence all around. Shit with Homestuck post-clickbait-induced-popularity spike has weirdly just gotten less and less transparent to the point we are more or less staring into the unyeilding darkness at the end of time itself. In only a little under a decade homestuck went from 'that funny comic written by some cool dude that made other funny comics you probably have the off-chance to run into and not really notice unless you knew he made the things" to "weirdly heavily corporate minded 50 layer middleman idpol pandering extravaganza held hostage in hiatus due to internet drama bullshit with not a fucking sign of the og guy even being still alive aside from cryptic messages and eboy clownpics on his instagram"

I'd ask where we went so wrong, but really i don't think we ever had any power in influencing the outcome to begin with.

 

[Guts]

>Check cybercoin meter

A smart coin trader will always keep a vigilant eye on his charts at strategically timed instances each day, maximizing their time effectively. You, on the other hand, peek in on it whenever you actually remember it exists. Your portfolio is surely in a state of massive gains, absolutely. No question. Fuck. You hunker down next to your hyperphonic cybercoin generator, and authenticate your login information on Coinbook. Let's take a look at those delicious upward facing arrows and unpronounceable numbers. Zeroes, motherfucker. Loads of them.


Heeerrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm...


Oh, yeah. It's all comin' together, now. You absolutely comprehend whatever all that is telling you. And you are loving it. You leave your seeds to grow until properly plump for the weeping. You mean reaping.

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

View attachment 2284175
A smart coin trader will always keep a vigilant eye on his charts at strategically timed instances each day, maximizing their time effectively. You, on the other hand, peek in on it whenever you actually remember it exists. Your portfolio is surely in a state of massive gains, absolutely. No question. Fuck. You hunker down next to your hyperphonic cybercoin generator, and authenticate your login information on Coinbook. Let's take a look at those delicious upward facing arrows and unpronounceable numbers. Zeroes, motherfucker. Loads of them.

View attachment 2284183
Heerrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm...

View attachment 2284185
Oh, yeah. It's all comin' together, now. You absolutely comprehend whatever all that is telling you. And you are loving it. You leave your seeds to grow until properly plump for the weeping. You mean reaping.

>Go check on your retarded pet dog

 

[BrigadeLeader]

Is this actually happening?
I mean I'm happy to feed into it, but I can't tell if this is just an elaborate joke, or not

 

[Locke And Doula]

We've managed to go full circle and create our own autistic fan adventure of Homestuck

Please, continue.

 

[Guts]

> Andy: Grab a 12 gauge and kill Vriska.

Snap.


Your senses are blasted with a granular rolling heat pulsing from the base of your neck downward. Your hands are trembling, and you're beginning to sweat. Your arms are now moving on their own, meticulously removing your patented 12 Gauge Shotgun that we've all become so familiar with from underneath your bedframe. This trusty longtime friend of yours has been your security blanket for as long as you have contemplated pulling the trigger while suckling it's barrel like a pacifier. The ultimate pacifier. But you can flirt with your own death later, as for now you are intent on the death of another.

Vriska.

... You don't know who this Vriska is. But your subsequent MK Ultra Agent activation at hearing her name must mean she is a really rude bitch. Possibly the rudest bitch of all. An unforgivable crime that the Alphabet Soup Agencies of the United States cannot abide by. Hence your activation, Agent Cocknose.
... you begin to realize that you can't exactly enact sweet governmental wetwork without knowing where exactly this Vriska is, so for now you will resume your normal civilian duties until you have more concrete information on your target. That is when we will call upon you again, Cocknose. All hail the glorious demon queen of the twin moons.


... Ahhm... Wuh... Waah?
You're going to try to forget about that... Oh, hey, Shotty! What're you doin out so early? You put Shotty back underneath the bed. You stop to scowl at your bedsheet. You just really fucking hate blue for some reason right now.

 

[Apotheosis of the Liver]

> Leave your bedroom, and find a less blue environment.

 

[Double Dee]

> Pester your friends. Or rather, what few you might or might not have.

 

[FinalTry]

>check out games™ on your Nintendo™ Switch™

 

[Aquinas]

>Fetch your arms

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

>Go check on your retarded dog

 

[Not Absolutely]

Snap.

View attachment 2284913
Your senses are blasted with a granular rolling heat pulsing from the base of your neck downward. Your hands are trembling, and you're beginning to sweat. Your arms are now moving on their own, meticulously removing your patented 12 Gauge Shotgun that we've all become so familiar with from underneath your bedframe. This trusty longtime friend of yours has been your security blanket for as long as you have contemplated pulling the trigger while suckling it's barrel like a pacifier. The ultimate pacifier. But you can flirt with your own death later, as for now you are intent on the death of another.

Vriska.

... You don't know who this Vriska is. But your subsequent MK Ultra Agent activation at hearing her name must mean she is a really rude bitch. Possibly the rudest bitch of all. An unforgivable crime that the Alphabet Soup Agencies of the United States cannot abide by. Hence your activation, Agent Cocknose.
... you begin to realize that you can't exactly enact sweet governmental wetwork without knowing where exactly this Vriska is, so for now you will resume your normal civilian duties until you have more concrete information on your target. That is when we will call upon you again, Cocknose. All hail the glorious demon queen of the twin moons.

View attachment 2284975
... Ahhm... Wuh... Waah?
You're going to try to forget about that... Oh, hey, Shotty! What're you doin out so early? You put Shotty back underneath the bed. You stop to scowl at your bedsheet. You just really fucking hate blue for some reason right now.

Absolutely fucking Kino content literally shaking and clapping right now.

 

[downwardspiral]

 

[OmnipotentStupidity]

Snap.

View attachment 2284913
Your senses are blasted with a granular rolling heat pulsing from the base of your neck downward. Your hands are trembling, and you're beginning to sweat. Your arms are now moving on their own, meticulously removing your patented 12 Gauge Shotgun that we've all become so familiar with from underneath your bedframe. This trusty longtime friend of yours has been your security blanket for as long as you have contemplated pulling the trigger while suckling it's barrel like a pacifier. The ultimate pacifier. But you can flirt with your own death later, as for now you are intent on the death of another.

Vriska.

... You don't know who this Vriska is. But your subsequent MK Ultra Agent activation at hearing her name must mean she is a really rude bitch. Possibly the rudest bitch of all. An unforgivable crime that the Alphabet Soup Agencies of the United States cannot abide by. Hence your activation, Agent Cocknose.
... you begin to realize that you can't exactly enact sweet governmental wetwork without knowing where exactly this Vriska is, so for now you will resume your normal civilian duties until you have more concrete information on your target. That is when we will call upon you again, Cocknose. All hail the glorious demon queen of the twin moons.

View attachment 2284975
... Ahhm... Wuh... Waah?
You're going to try to forget about that... Oh, hey, Shotty! What're you doin out so early? You put Shotty back underneath the bed. You stop to scowl at your bedsheet. You just really fucking hate blue for some reason right now.

> Andy: Allocate Nintendo Switch to strife specibus