WHATS IN MY PURSE AUGUST 2019 8/8/19 -

Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
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Seriously, like someone said upthread, I would pay good money just to see the looks on the faces of the boutique staff when she and her stench waddled in. I'm sure it would be a mixture of horror and disgust with just a tinge of confusion. They'd likely be looking for a camera crew thinking they'd brought back Punk'd. Then in the behemoth's rancid wake would come the thumb butler meekly walking 7 paces behind. Snap-back on backward, shirt 2 sizes too small, basketball shorts glory. Then the super, mega, morbidly obese toddler would start touching lidurrrallly everything in sight cooing about how KAHHHHYYYUUUUUUUUTTT everything is. Imagine the poor patrons who are in there who I'm sure carefully curate their appearance. Oh, the abject horror. It would be a piece of performance art and I would definitely pay to see it.
 

Keyboard Warrior

kiwifarms.net
I'm glad this video is archived. She's less than 2 years away from being devastated financially by a major medical event, and she has no plan. I can 100% guarantee there will be some e-begging campaign through GoFundMe when it happens: "HELP ME SAVE MAH LAHF OR I MIGHT DAH!"

This will serve as a great reminder that she deserves no sympathy or help. But thanks for letting us know you carry around a lot of cash and your Social Security card, Gorl! That seems like a responsible and safe thing to do, when your address is publicly available, the internet hates you, and your sausage fingers lack the dexterity to hang on to your Birkin knockoff, if someone wanted it bad enough.

That would be the easiest getaway for someone desperate enough to try. No need for forced entry! Just show up in a Dominos uniform. There's probably time to save Twinkie, swipe all the industrial fans + take a black crayon to BeCkY's fridge art on your BRISK WALK to the door.

Unrelated, but do we know where Roger Brown is right now?
 

L_I_F_T_E_D

kiwifarms.net
WHATS IN MY PURSE AUGUST 2019 - 8/8/2019 (Day 51 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

First off, not believing for a second that this is "August 2019" content. Our gorl has NOT been actively filming ANYTHING - so let's begin this non-chronological-order situation...

- "Purseaholic". Fuck this shit. Why the fuck am I doing this? Oh, because it's been several hours and no full re-cap from anyone. Plus, why break the streak?

- "Purse picky". *walks away for 2 minutes to calm down*

- "lezbereal" that the LV purse is $3000. No LV purse here, gorl?

- More bank bullshit nonsense. She would need to "pool" out the cash and go to a LV store. Agree with the other KFers that we'd all love to see that happen. (Imagining a horrid re-enactment parody of Pretty Woman with the HamBeast wedged/trapped in the door of the LV store yelling "BIG MISTAKE! OOH I WANT A STEAK NOW! BECKY GET ME A STEAK!")

- This video is over 8 minutes? We're over TWO MINUTES IN and we finally SEE "the purse".

- "It's a lot bigger on camera, it's really not that big" (she says, hoping that anyone believes that lah so she can re-use it to claim SHE is not as big of a gorl as people claim she is?)

- It's now three and a half minutes in and we're finally OPENING the purse. Thanks for such a clickbait title once again, GreedyLynn!

WHAT'S IN THE PURSE?
A Coach purse/wallet.

WHAT'S IN THE WALLET?
Cash. Social Security Card. Appointment cards. Debit card. "Tidbits."

BACK TO THE PURSE?
Headphones.
Pill bottle (Arthritis Pain Relief - acetominophen - but she claims she doesn't have arthritis).
Two pill bottles of her "mood stabilizers". (Not sure why BOTH need to be in the purse at the same time, or if she's on multiple pills to handle her four fake diagnoses.)
Body spray. (To obviously help mask the stench.)
Phone and "mini-tripod" - but she's currently using them. (Fuck I hate this and all her shitty mispronunciations...)
A mirror engraved with "CHOOSE HAPPY" (Because we all know how good Hamber is with choices of ANY kind...)
A lipstick. (Not the one she's wearing. It's her favorite. HD Kisses. Nobody "said it with you", Hamber.)

THAT'S IT. PURSE IS EMPTY. WHY IS THERE STILL ALMOST TWO MORE MINUTES OF THIS BULLSHIT??

- Oh good, we get to watch her fucking throw all this bullshit back into the purse.

- #PursePicky? Fuck you. (Gotta send it to her Instagram because she's been deactivated on Twitter more often than not!)

- You can order things from Amazon and it comes to you in the mail? I had NO fucking clue that's how it worked, booboo!

- Did she just sign off with "See you next month"??

Seriously - can we ALL just hope and pray that the HamBeast never figures out Amazon Affiliate/Associates shit and tries to convince her ludicrous 129k subscribers to buy the same bullshit she owns so she can cash in on it further?

TL;DR: She has a new purse and it has stuff in it. Nobody cares.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I believe Amberlynn is significantly less controlling these days. That's not saying much because she used to be insanely controlling, down to dictating what/how many calories other people could eat. But things are different now; I doubt she scrutinizes receipts. She is financially stable, and her current gorlfriend is the dumbest, most depressed, and has lower self esteem than any gorl prior. She knows Becky will never leave her.

She's still petty, clingy and controlling; we see evidence of this in vids. But I don't think she's as bad as she once was.
 

whammy

I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
kiwifarms.net
Seriously, like someone said upthread, I would pay good money just to see the looks on the faces of the boutique staff when she and her stench waddled in. I'm sure it would be a mixture of horror and disgust with just a tinge of confusion. They'd likely be looking for a camera crew thinking they'd brought back Punk'd. Then in the behemoth's rancid wake would come the thumb butler meekly walking 7 paces behind. Snap-back on backward, shirt 2 sizes too small, basketball shorts glory. Then the super, mega, morbidly obese toddler would start touching lidurrrallly everything in sight cooing about how KAHHHHYYYUUUUUUUUTTT everything is. Imagine the poor patrons who are in there who I'm sure carefully curate their appearance. Oh, the abject horror. It would be a piece of performance art and I would definitely pay to see it.
6EA14A5A-9498-4F09-B912-4E99F50F79E6.jpeg
 

gay frogs

kiwifarms.net
That purse looks normal sized next to her but, on a regular person, it would probably be a large one. Sad.

Can't wait to see a purse she takes to a buffet. Gotta have enough room for tupperware and zip-lock bags that hold food!
Off topic but has she ever done a buffet video? I would love to see that. She’d be one of those people the staff tell stories about for years.
 

sweaty chafing thighs

kiwifarms.net
After all the speculation on how/ when she would die, getting popped off by a burglar after she flexes online would def be the funniest.
I mean... if someone were to rob her, it's not like she could really do much to defend herself. At most she might be able to suffocate them with her rank moist folds. Even if she managed to get away from them it's not like she could waddle very far before getting winded.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Off topic but has she ever done a buffet video? I would love to see that. She’d be one of those people the staff tell stories about for years.
Several in the Krystle era and a few in the Destiny era. They weren't interesting though, because back then she was stil somewhat shy about filming herself in public (especially while eating). Mostly she'd just film all the plates she got.
 

497

kiwifarms.net
I've only been able to watch a few minutes lately.... this purse things was boring since it was done before. did I hear this right she still carries her social security card in her purse? she used to carry her birth certificate too. good thing she doesn't have any credit cards in there. she is so dumb I can see someone snatching her purse while she is sitting on her scooter looking at some walmart crap. when she notices it gone the person is 20 feet away and there won't be a damn thing her or Becky can do about it because AL can't walk and Becky can't run fast enough.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
I wish I didn't have to work my life away for a pittance too but I wouldn't take Al's body for a billion tax free dollars.
I might. But I'd be doing it with the knowledge that I'd have a fairly short, incredibly unpleasant rest of my life. The only reason I'd do it is so the money could be left to my loving family and dear friends. Would knowing that I've provided for everyone I care about be worth it as I decomposed atop Pillow Mountain? I don't know -- but I suppose it might be. Either way, it's a pretty miserable thought, wondering how far you'd go to look after the people who love you.

Not a dilemma AL has to worry about, fortunately.
 
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