What's the best way Chris's life could have turned out? -

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Sperglord Dante

Useless Guato
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Young Christopher is sent to a experinental boarding school that mixes special needs education with military training.

In all those years he learns to socialize with other boys, is forced to eat healthy and balanced meals, exercises on a daily basis and is instructed in arts, math, history and practical skills. He's only ever allowed to see Borb twice per year: during christmas and his birthday, but never for more than three hours at the time, and he's never even once allowed to play any videogame nor watch any cartoon featuring Sonic the Hedgehog.

The young adult Christopher graduates with all honors and keeps a close friendship with his fellow students even a decade after graduating. He joins the army as military engineer, and makes his father feel extremely proud and satisfied with life during his later years. A few years before his passing, Christopher finds true love and marries. Barbara and Robert become the loving grandparenta of the young Crystal. When Robert's time finally comes to an end, Christopher finds himself surrounded by all the people he loved, including all his older siblings, even Cole Smithey (who's run over by an autist instead of Snyder in this timeline) and a perfectly lucid Barbara who surpassed his hoarding tendencies decades ago. Even at his lowest point, Christopher cannot help but to feel blessed by the life he's had, and looks forward to the future.
 
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Dr.Research

Dissertation Topic: Lolcows
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He could of done pretty decent.
If he had the proper support at home and school, wasn't raised in delusion and had boundaries, he could easy have an entry-level job, live on his own and function. He'd always have some issues, like not being the best as socialization and being a bit naive, but he could of easy been able to work around that if he had been taught real skills and was raised better. Maybe he'd always be a bit lazy, egotistical (lookin' at you, Cole) and maybe not the best looking, but Chris isn't retarded to the point where he can't function alone (at least not originally). There's plenty of autists and people with more severe issues that are a billion times better off.

He could of been a regular dude with an decent-enough job and maybe even a girlfriend/wife/family. But thanks to the Chandler experience and some major mistakes, he's left a repugnant oaf who who's obsessed with high school, has nothing of real value to show for his life and still think he's Godbear's gift to women.
 
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Silver Octopus

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There are so many events that had they gone down differently Chris' life would be considerably better...
  • Had he not been born with autism he would just be your average neckbeard.
  • If he wasn't son to Barbara and Bob, he could have had considerably better parenting and maybe not been egotistical, selfish, or as anti social.
  • Had he stayed in Greene Elementary School, he could have received better treatment, better speech theorapy classes and more help in school to ensure he got the education he needed and not come out as ignorant.
  • Had he not been raised by television, he wouldn't have this weird point of view on life where he thinks he's the protagonist of a story and everyone is out to get him.
  • Had he not posted his stuff online, no-one would have even heard of him and he'd be living his autistic life without trolls.
  • Had he not responded to the ED page, if he just kept his mouth shut and decided to forget about that page then it wouldn't have led to more trolling and him making SheCameforCWC and he would have retained some respect from Megan, pretty much everything chris complains about can be traced to this.
  • Had he not doxxed himself, this speaks for itself.
  • Had he listened to any adult in his life, be it Bob, or Mary Lee Walsh or Rocky Shoemaker or anybody that ever told him to cut it out and grow up.
  • Had he not ran over Michael Snyder, wouldnt have to deal with the courts, wouldnt have had to pay for a lawyer, could still have some of that Bob money to spend on legos.
  • Had he not burned down his house, honestly this probably wouldn't make much of a difference, he still sits in his room jobless playing vidya games for hours, it just so happened he lost some stuff and animals in the fire.
  • Had he not gotten his dirty crapped panties in bunch over the sonic boom character revamp, he wouldn't have maced that dude and wouldn't have had to deal with the courts again.
  • The list goes on...
As you can see most of these are caused by himself, you could argue that his autism is what caused and led to all these things to happen but that would be a stupid argument.
 

Mason Verger

was she a great big healthy at any size person?
True & Honest Fan
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That babysitter never locked him in that room, thus never activating his autism. 32 years later, Chris Chandler and his wife Sarah buy a sensibly priced starter home in the Roanoke area.
image.jpg
 

Sir Walter Raleigh

Please don't troll me. I trigger easily.
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The luck he used to win the Sonic Sweepstakes as a child should've been honed to win the Powerball and really cash in as a adult. Imagine Chris will disposable income and no job. Spending his days pursuing his ridiculous interests without being burden with the responsibility of managing his money.
 

Silver Octopus

kiwifarms.net
As a bonus here is what chris would have said in response to this thread:
  • Had that liar Megan and Jew Michael Snyder not started this trolling plot to make my life a living hell.
  • Had I not have to graduate I could still be a student in Manchester High School having the time of my life!
  • If I had a non abusive babysitter that triggered my autism and made me mute myself for six years.
  • Had that witch Mary Lee Walsh not ripped up my sign I would have found my sweetheart from the ground up and would already have a daughter named Crystal.
  • If Cole would take care of mom, I could be my own free bitch!
  • Had Sega kept sonics arms not blue! I wouldnt have made my protest and maced that dude and not had to have dealt with the courts again.
  • *sigh*
  • Had that slanderous ED page never been made, I wouldn't have become a laughing stock where I can't even google my name without lies and slanders coming up first.
  • Had I not been born with this dang mental block.
  • Had that cheater Adam Stackhouse not entered the contest.
  • Had I not been born with this ugly growth I could trib with my lesbian lady friends.
These are all based on things chris has said before in the past, as always chris is willing to say anything but himself are the reasons why his life is shit and not the luxury he believes is owed to him by the world.
 
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