What's the first thing you'd do if you were somehow randomly a billionaire tomorrow? -

[UnKillShredDur]

Me? I would take a cab ride from West Philadelphia to Bel-Air California.
(One that isn't even actually canonical to the full version of the theme song)

 

[DumbDosh]

I wouldn't tell anybody shit and I would put in my two weeks notice immediately.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

I'd be broke again within two hours, fam.

 

[Desire Lines]

Get a "True & Honest Fan" status tbh

Spoiler: actual answer

I'd probably donate like 5%-10% to charity, then put the rest in a bank and just live a normal life. I don't really need to be eating foie gras to be happy.

 

[Tlazolli]

Become Batman.

 

[AnOminous]

Build a bunch of nuclear weapons. Nuke the entire world for the lulz.

 

[0 1]

Bank that pile and live off of interest so that I can leave a video will that does nothing but drone endlessly for five hours while people interested in my estate will sit through the whole thing until I announce at the end that it's to be burned on live television.

 

[Dirt McGirt]

I would personally pay Bill Burr to reenact this scene.

 

[UnKillShredDur]

I would personally pay Bill Burr to reenact this scene.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I'd use some of it to go on a trip to Europe and Japan. I'd take some of it and buy a nice little house. Nothing too big really. I'd put a large money in the bank and invest it. I'd get a decent car to get around in but also buy a swell bike to ride around in for exercise. Also I'd buy tons of nice clothes.

 

[Bagronkleton]

Pay off student loans. Buy a nice house and chunk of land for my parents to retire comfortably. Stash the rest away.

 

[OhGoy]

if that happened, i definitely wouldn't be posting on kiwifarms anymore

 

[Slowpoke Sonic]

i would just spend most of my money off of video games. that’s all.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Bribe Null to marry me.

 

[A Useless Fish]

I'd open an animation studio. I'd write whatever I wanted, and then it'd be up to the people I'd hire to make those words come to life. Fuck it, if I had the money I'd buy some old, dead franchises and breath new life into them ala Samurai Jack.

 

[TwinkleSnort]

I would buy a huge chunk of land and have a house built in the middle of it, and spend my life being an anonymous internet philanthropist.

 

[TougherToenails]

I’d go to Arby’s and order whatever I wanted

 

[300mm]

I don't know, probably buy a chinaman or something.

 

[m0rnutz]

Buy a cabin in the woods, build a sweatshop, adopt a bunch of chinese kids and put them to work making asbestos.

 

[Black Waltz]

build a gladiator pit and make people kill each other for my amusement