Whats the most exceptional work-related fuck up you've witnessed someone make

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BoingoTango

Sabat on a gayops
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May 6, 2019
Uh, i used to work with a nigga that would dead-ass go to sleep. Like find a place to go hide and go to sleep. This wasn't even just a sometimes thing. This motherfucker would do this almost daily. He had just started to, straight out of High School. They waited until his probationary period was over to fire him, but goddamnit that was an infuriating motherfucker to work with. Not to mention if the motherfucker was actually awake, you already know the nigga wasn't about to do shit.

Ugh, premature ejaculated that post. I forget the mention where he was operating an electric pallet jack, ran into a woman, then got pissed off at her for "not getting out da way". Worse part is none of the other nig-nogs would vouch for her, but I did, so she would be able to go home for the bullshit. Man that motherfucker.
 

DatBepisTho

Cryptid Farmer
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Apr 17, 2016
Uh, i used to work with a nigga that would dead-ass go to sleep. Like find a place to go hide and go to sleep. This wasn't even just a sometimes thing. This motherfucker would do this almost daily. He had just started to, straight out of High School. They waited until his probationary period was over to fire him, but goddamnit that was an infuriating motherfucker to work with. Not to mention if the motherfucker was actually awake, you already know the nigga wasn't about to do shit.
I had a coworker that did that shit too! Except this dude would somehow stand propped up on a counter or sink corner.

It was the freakiest shit to catch him in the act as he'd sometimes look as though he was high and staring at a wall.
 
P

PL 001

Guest
kiwifarms.net
I used to work a retail stockroom position. One of the jobs was baling cardboard into this old compactor, securing the cardboard cubes with wire and moving them out of the compactor.

We hired this dipshit kid who was more interested in fucking around than working. Whatever, we've had people like him before, he wouldn't last long so we tolerated it.

The cardboard compactor was full one day so myself and an older co-worker started on it. Shut down the compactor, me on one side and older worker on the other. Tied up the cardboard and pushed it out.

The *second* the cardboard was out of the compactor and I was hauling it out, dipshit kid slammed the compactor door shut before older co-worker was able to get out, kid actually started up the compactor for a split second and turned it off while older co-worker was trapped.

Older co-worker lost his shit. He wanted to beat them fuck out of this little faggot who did the whole "just kidding around dude!" line. I had to hold older co-worker back from beating on this kid and tell him not to wind up losing his job and having an assault charge pressed.

Kid got shit canned. Still can't believe he thought his actions were a good idea.
 

ReplicantWiggum

I choo choo choose you! *gunshot*
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Mar 7, 2019
Black woman security officer on my old job. We had to drive company vehicles to different facilities. She gets pulled over for no seatbelt. Turns out her license is suspended so she gets the company vehicle impounded as well. All on the night shift. She bails herself out calls the other officer on duty to try and pick her up without having our boss know! Needless to say the other security guard alerted our boss and fired her ass. Had to go with him the next day to get the car out of impound costed around $400 after fees and shit. The true kicker of the story is my boss said he would have let her worked without having to drive had she been up front about her driving situation.
 

Arcturus

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Mar 9, 2019
There was this old bitch when I worked at Dunkin Donuts as a glorified donut decorator. She was a huge liar and just generally not very bright. She'd lie about being a manager and shit. One time she even stole a manager tag and put her name on it. In front of people. Just so she could try and lord over the night crew and bakers. One of her most interesting fuck ups was when she took it upon herself to make special Easter donuts. No one asked her to. We already had a special donut for Easter. She bragged about how she mixed up special frosting with "psychedelic colors" (It was one of the night crew people that mixed it. But she took credit anyway.)

She wasn't very good at frosting to begin with. And she bought these fucking jelly bean eggs and other weird shit to put on the donuts. She fucking made like 150 of these motherfuckers. By the time she walked out, the candies had slid in the middle, the sugar she'd mixed at the last second with food dye was patchy, and the frosting was a nasty, streaky mess. That day, they sold none of her shitty donuts. No one wanted to buy them. A few brave employees tried a bite or two and tossed them. She wasted a lot of product and her own money that she spent on candy trying to show out for the owner.
 

Rand /pol/

True & Honest Fan
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Oct 29, 2017
>working
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Y2K Baby

The Codex of Ultimate Wisdom???
True & Honest Fan
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Mar 30, 2017
There was this old bitch when I worked at Dunkin Donuts as a glorified donut decorator. She was a huge liar and just generally not very bright. She'd lie about being a manager and shit. One time she even stole a manager tag and put her name on it. In front of people. Just so she could try and lord over the night crew and bakers. One of her most interesting fuck ups was when she took it upon herself to make special Easter donuts. No one asked her to. We already had a special donut for Easter. She bragged about how she mixed up special frosting with "psychedelic colors" (It was one of the night crew people that mixed it. But she took credit anyway.)

She wasn't very good at frosting to begin with. And she bought these fucking jelly bean eggs and other weird shit to put on the donuts. She fucking made like 150 of these motherfuckers. By the time she walked out, the candies had slid in the middle, the sugar she'd mixed at the last second with food dye was patchy, and the frosting was a nasty, streaky mess. That day, they sold none of her shitty donuts. No one wanted to buy them. A few brave employees tried a bite or two and tossed them. She wasted a lot of product and her own money that she spent on candy trying to show out for the owner.
That's my girlfriend.
 

Marco Fucko

I fantasized about this back in Chicago
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Dec 10, 2018
Back when I was working at 7/11, one of the meth heads that worked graveyard came in strung out and stole like $2-300 out of the drop safe and a bunch of milk and powerade over the course of his shift and then puked in the mop sink. The franchisees didn't fire him because they were scared of being sued for racism or whatever the legal terminology is.
 

Some Manajerk

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Oct 16, 2017
SO, the table we had our toaster on had a bad wheel. as in "do not move this table or the wheel will fall off" One day, i don't know why but the guy in grill forgot that, moved the table, and as we both watch the table tilts backwards and the 15k toaster does a slow backflip onto the ground with a crunch and starts smoking.

Fortunately(and surprisingly) it still worked after that. i do not want to imagine the ownders reaction if it had broken.
 

nagant 1895

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Mar 27, 2019
These are some weak ass work fuck ups. None of you ever saw a man die?
I used to work on a demo crew and we were taking apart houses that had been flooded. One of the mexicans had a chain saw that he used to rip out all the cabinets and cut studs. Eventually we got to one house where some plumbing had been modified and re-routed. A copper pipe was running through one of the cabinets and the chainsaw bounced off and hit the dude square in his head. Brains everywhere, blood everywhere, no screams. I still think about that guy sometimes...
 

kadoink

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May 29, 2019
Spergtard I worked with, literal tism wanker, was the type who wouldn't accept he made a mistake and it was always someone elses fault. We're using windows and hes a mac type of person and in the computer lab we were transcribing books for students with special needs and the supervisor did stuff for the blind students and had a couple years worth of data on a master file(cant remember the proper term for it) and tools she helped make for herself to save time. Now she had her own computer that we weren't to use unless work was crazy and for some reason his potato ass was on her computer looking over some of her files and he was trying to show her how to do something using her master file

He deleted her masterfile... He purposely deleted her master file in order to show off his computer skills(I guess he was trying to show her some way to deleting something and recovering it) and when he couldn't recover it (because he's an idiot and macs and Microsoft don't work the same) he said "well, its because the computer screwed it up". This was 3 and a half years of work she had that was gone and I don't think she had all of it backed up. I wasn't there for this fuck up but a buddy of mine said she was on the verge of tears over this, as well as the fact his potato ass brushed it off as a computer problem.

He got away with a lot of stupid shit because of his autism and this was the dept that dealt with students who had learning, vision, hearing, and tism problems and unfortunately our boss couldn't fire him for his incompetence without there being some kind of question called into it by her superiors.

He did everything wrong, 2 day of 6 hour presentation on the adjustments coming to our field by one of the top industry folks? He was reading webcomics...with our bosses boss in the same room about 7 feet away from him. He messes up a printing job? Its someone elses fault. He gets into trouble for screwing up? he cries at our boss in her office.

The last straw was when he spent like 5 hours working on adjusting settings on his computer so it was more like a mac or something, Our boss went out of her way to make sure he had easy work to do so he didn't screw things up for the rest of us like he'd done in the past and she checks up on him 3 times.

1st time she checks to make sure he's getting started on it and he says "I'm almost ready, I'm sorting out some computer stuff and settings first". No big deal, we all do that from time to time. She checked him out 2 hours later and he says "I'm actually just going on my lunch break", also fine. The 3rd time she finds him dicking around with webcomic sites, video game sites, and other shit and he says "I just started a few minutes ago".

There was a deadline for him to finish his work and it was a Friday and due in a few hours before the office shut down. He got shit canned pretty hard and we were all happy to see him go. I was eventually canned myself like 7 months later, cause I got some of the tism too and due to the changes on the job due to some new rules my proficiency at work dropped.

But being that the new faggot who was in charge of hiring at that UC wanted everyone who worked there to have a BA, because it should have the best of the best, I would have been let go like 4 months later anyways since I only had an AA.

I used to be this potato tards friend and knew he was an awkward wanker, who was pretty smart with a mac and a lot of other things but having him as a co-worker was death and I've only run into him once since this happened and wanted to hide behind the bushes instead of talking to him.
 

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
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Joined
Mar 19, 2019
I'm going to tell on myself here.

Worked as a part-time rent-a-cop for a month when I went to college. I worked at a site that had over 1,000 employees on site at a time. It was a locked facility, with each employee having a unique key-code to get through various doors.

Got told one morning to delete an employee out of the facility access system. You would select an employee from a database, which would pop up a screen that gave you the option of adding/removing different levels of access for different doors. At the bottom there was a "Delete" and "Delete All" button. Me being a wicked smart guy clicked the "Delete All" button. Assumed that meant to delete that specific employee from having access from all areas. NOPE.

Deleted over 3,000 employees from being able to access the building. Including the CEO. To my credit, I finished my shift. Never went back after that. Was told it took them weeks to fix it. Oops.
 

Smaug's Smokey Hole

Brain open for rental(rent free)
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Sep 7, 2016
One day a co-worker made a $1.1 million dollar mistake. Things like that can happen, drop a freight container into the water, tip a car transport, leave a pallet of MacBook Pro's outside for a while... But this was a mistake were no insurance covers it(contractually obligated to pay) and it wasn't a single big mistake, it was eleven thousand $1000 mistakes in a row. It was a very sensitive high(er) prestige bank job and very few were allowed to handle this particular thing because mistakes were costly, $1000 per fuck-up is actually a bargain, somehow he was one of like three people they trusted.

His mistake broke so many laws as well but we were good at skirting and violating them so nothing came of that. There were no consequences for him, he was deep in the union stack and it wasn't a fireable offense. A couple of months after that half the workforce was laid off, our biggest clients no longer had faith in us, the bank in particular had justifiable cause to break their contract, and they all chose another provider.
Me and ~25 others lost our jobs, probably more, he kept his. Some of the people laid off were experienced shift-leaders and technicians, the place was a headless chicken after that. Hiring was stopped so to get back the people that ran the show they had to get rid some of the entrenched idiots. That's when the buyout/severance packages started, bribing people into quitting to make room. Quit and you will get 3 years full salary or 2 years full salary as a lump sum, no questions asked, sign the paper. Find a job next week, you'll still get paid for three years. Pretty decent for blue collar work.

This had to be offered to everyone equally and not just the couple of people they wanted to go away - end result: the few good people left were tired of working with these retards especially when everything turned to shit, they signed the paper, they could go work for the competitors that were now drowning in the work they took from this company.

There's a M. Night Shyamalan twist ending to all of this that I won't spoil.
 

TungstenCarbide

Strike.
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Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Years ago I worked part-time as a secretary for a while, in the offfice of a small factory that produced furniture. The factory had four associates: two had worked in that business for years and were experts, one had another job and wasn't interested much in what the company was doing, the fourth, the youngest one, M., was...well, let's say that he wasn't very bright. He contributed with his quota of money, but he didn't do much. While the other two decided the lines of production, kept contacts with the clients and so on, he liked to look at workers while they assembled the furniture, or he helped a bit himeself. Once we changed the company intranet and all the computers, he spent a whole day just watching the technicians installing the new system.

One day, he was going around the warehouse using one of our forklifts. He wasn't working, or moving material, he was just using that damn forklift to have fun. The office where I worked was inside the warehouse and you could see everything that happened in it, because of a big glass window. I was working at my desk, and I heard one of my bosses saying:
"What the fuck is M. doing?"

I glanced out of the window, and I saw M. standing near the forklift, the engine compartment open and him looking inside. Then a flame erupted from the engine, apparently burning M's face.
We immediately run out the office to check on him, but he just had minor burns and he had lost his eyebrows.
Apparently the forklift had stopped, so he thought to check on the battery. He opened the engine compartment, then opened the vent caps of the battery to look insiede, and since he couldn't see anything, he thought to switch on his lighter.

I had no idea that those batteries produced hydrogen when they were overcharged/malfuctioning, but even I knew that flames near batteries are a bad idea. In the span of a week, all the security signs in the building had a "FOR M" added in black sharpie, courtesy of one of the workers.