- Joined
- Oct 11, 2014
- Highlight
- #1
So we've all been there, everything is right and you KNOW you're gonna score tonight. It may even be your first time ever and you finally gonna tear up your v-card but then........COCKBLOCK! DENIED! There's no way to describe the emotions that grip you when it happens. So let it all out, fam. we're here for ya! I'll even start.
Here's my cockblocking story. It's bad. It's true, and I think it might be one of the worst cockblockings of all time, and if it wasn't for the fact none of you do or ever will know me IRL I'd never tell this to anyone.
So to set the scene: I'm 25, married, a 1 and 1/2 year old daughter. (the reason I got married.) We are currently renting an apartment on the 3rd floor of a 4 storey building. (This matters.) One weekend, we have a visitor. An old school friend of my wifes who she used to be very close with and talks to whenever she can but hasn't seen for about 5 years. She has a 1 yr old son, and they both come to visit from a good distance away. She is a "plus size" clothing model, which if you know anything about that industry means she's not 'fat' but what would be called 'Rubenesque'. She's actually fucking smoking hot which I did NOT expect. So anyway, the first night she's over we whip up a big fancy dinner with lots of liquor to go along with.
We've put the kids to bed, all 3 of us are well beyond tipsy, and as I am cleaning up the remains of dinner, the two of them go into the bathroom, and some of that typical "2 girls haven't seen each other for ages melodrama fueled by booze" sets in and I hear to the two of them crying a little bit and whispering to each other before they come out. When they come out, they both have a strange expression on their faces. I said something to her friend, can't recall exactly what as they come walking by me, and she reaches out and tweaks my dick, completely out of the blue. Naturally, instant fucking blue-steel hardon. Since I'm half drunk along with them I say something to the point of 'oh dear, now look what you did! Are you gonna make this better now?' And damned if she dosen't come back, GRAB my cock and stroke it through my pants and start french-kissing with me, with my wife's complete lack of anything but watching with a silly grin.
It's at this point I realize that I am about to be living the fantasy of damn near every human male of a threesome with your wife and her hot girlfriend. We start moving to the living room, I push her and my wife together and they start shyly kissing each other, and I am thanking every deity I can remember for my unbelievable luck. I get undressed and sit on the couch while my wife and her old friend are standing infront of me making out and fondling each others boobs more and more passionately. I reach forward and sink the fingers of each hand into a different sopping-wet pussy, red-haired on the left, blonde on the right, and think that life could never possibly get better.
Welp, that it didn't.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!! we freeze, the kind of fever-haze of all 3 of us were in is broken, and we start to pull away. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!! RCMP! (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!
I could NOT fucking believe it.
I pull my housecoat on and answer the door, sure enough, a male and a female cop. It turns out that we had been a little noisy, and the downstairs neighbors had apparently heard the crying in the bathroom during the drunken discussion that lead to them deciding to have a 3some and mistook it for me beating the shit out of my wife and her hiding in the bathroom crying, and fucking called the cops on us!
So the cops separate us and make sure we tell the same story, which we did of course and it was very obvious that no domestic abuse was going on, just something naughty. We apologized for making so much noise while I honestly wanted to scream at the cops for killing what was certainly going to only come around once in my lifetime but it was far to late by that point anyway. The mood was completely shattered by the time they left, and we all had some last drinks and went to bed. Wife and I to ours, guest to our spare room.
I suppose that if there was a silver lining to this all, it's that it never ended up coming between us that I fucked another woman while married to her (even if she was fucking her as well!) and there was nothing awkward between the 3 of us the next morning either, as there very likely might have been after their little foray into bisexual polyamory had it gone to completion.
But I had and still have jerk-off fuel to this day from the memories, as well as frustration of it all falling apart like that just before it kicked off for real.
As a follow-up, a couple months later the wife and i actually ran into our downstairs neighbors, tried to explain that we had a friend over, and laugh it off and apologize for the noise while the whole time they stood there with big fake smiles clearly not believing a fucking word we were saying, then glaring at me like I was fucking Chris Brown chucking women through furnature all day long. I wonder what the reaction would have been if we told the full truth? lol.
*addendum*
I understand that it's going to be a bit hard to believe, and people may think it's a copypasta or at best i'm writing out a total fantasy, but it's true. I'm not gonna try to convince anyone if they don't believe it, it dosen't really matter to me if you do or don't, but I think I've wanted to get this off my chest for a while now and put it all into words. I know if it happened to someone else I'd feel for em, but still laugh my ass off at the same time, hopefully you will too.
KK, let's see em, peeps!
Here's my cockblocking story. It's bad. It's true, and I think it might be one of the worst cockblockings of all time, and if it wasn't for the fact none of you do or ever will know me IRL I'd never tell this to anyone.
So to set the scene: I'm 25, married, a 1 and 1/2 year old daughter. (the reason I got married.) We are currently renting an apartment on the 3rd floor of a 4 storey building. (This matters.) One weekend, we have a visitor. An old school friend of my wifes who she used to be very close with and talks to whenever she can but hasn't seen for about 5 years. She has a 1 yr old son, and they both come to visit from a good distance away. She is a "plus size" clothing model, which if you know anything about that industry means she's not 'fat' but what would be called 'Rubenesque'. She's actually fucking smoking hot which I did NOT expect. So anyway, the first night she's over we whip up a big fancy dinner with lots of liquor to go along with.
We've put the kids to bed, all 3 of us are well beyond tipsy, and as I am cleaning up the remains of dinner, the two of them go into the bathroom, and some of that typical "2 girls haven't seen each other for ages melodrama fueled by booze" sets in and I hear to the two of them crying a little bit and whispering to each other before they come out. When they come out, they both have a strange expression on their faces. I said something to her friend, can't recall exactly what as they come walking by me, and she reaches out and tweaks my dick, completely out of the blue. Naturally, instant fucking blue-steel hardon. Since I'm half drunk along with them I say something to the point of 'oh dear, now look what you did! Are you gonna make this better now?' And damned if she dosen't come back, GRAB my cock and stroke it through my pants and start french-kissing with me, with my wife's complete lack of anything but watching with a silly grin.
It's at this point I realize that I am about to be living the fantasy of damn near every human male of a threesome with your wife and her hot girlfriend. We start moving to the living room, I push her and my wife together and they start shyly kissing each other, and I am thanking every deity I can remember for my unbelievable luck. I get undressed and sit on the couch while my wife and her old friend are standing infront of me making out and fondling each others boobs more and more passionately. I reach forward and sink the fingers of each hand into a different sopping-wet pussy, red-haired on the left, blonde on the right, and think that life could never possibly get better.
Welp, that it didn't.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!! we freeze, the kind of fever-haze of all 3 of us were in is broken, and we start to pull away. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!! RCMP! (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!
I could NOT fucking believe it.
I pull my housecoat on and answer the door, sure enough, a male and a female cop. It turns out that we had been a little noisy, and the downstairs neighbors had apparently heard the crying in the bathroom during the drunken discussion that lead to them deciding to have a 3some and mistook it for me beating the shit out of my wife and her hiding in the bathroom crying, and fucking called the cops on us!
So the cops separate us and make sure we tell the same story, which we did of course and it was very obvious that no domestic abuse was going on, just something naughty. We apologized for making so much noise while I honestly wanted to scream at the cops for killing what was certainly going to only come around once in my lifetime but it was far to late by that point anyway. The mood was completely shattered by the time they left, and we all had some last drinks and went to bed. Wife and I to ours, guest to our spare room.
I suppose that if there was a silver lining to this all, it's that it never ended up coming between us that I fucked another woman while married to her (even if she was fucking her as well!) and there was nothing awkward between the 3 of us the next morning either, as there very likely might have been after their little foray into bisexual polyamory had it gone to completion.
But I had and still have jerk-off fuel to this day from the memories, as well as frustration of it all falling apart like that just before it kicked off for real.
As a follow-up, a couple months later the wife and i actually ran into our downstairs neighbors, tried to explain that we had a friend over, and laugh it off and apologize for the noise while the whole time they stood there with big fake smiles clearly not believing a fucking word we were saying, then glaring at me like I was fucking Chris Brown chucking women through furnature all day long. I wonder what the reaction would have been if we told the full truth? lol.
*addendum*
I understand that it's going to be a bit hard to believe, and people may think it's a copypasta or at best i'm writing out a total fantasy, but it's true. I'm not gonna try to convince anyone if they don't believe it, it dosen't really matter to me if you do or don't, but I think I've wanted to get this off my chest for a while now and put it all into words. I know if it happened to someone else I'd feel for em, but still laugh my ass off at the same time, hopefully you will too.
KK, let's see em, peeps!
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