What's the worst cockblocking you've ever recieved? - Female versions too: Let's tell legendary tales of being denied sex at the last goddamn moment.

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Dolphin Lundgren

Picking blueberries with Henry Fonda.
True & Honest Fan
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Nov 15, 2017
I've got an opposite story. A lesbian who I never would have had sex in the first place spent about an hour chatting me up at a party once. I thought she was trying to have a friendly conversation but I realized after that she was trying to hook up with me. My boyfriend interrupted us, joined in on the conversation, which saved me because she got mad and she left me alone after she realized she had no chance.
 

ImHapp

DAme Da NE
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Joined
Jul 8, 2020
I cock blocked myself on most of my encounters I felt like I needed to wait for the right person and luckily I found that person. So far the only thing that cock blocks me is dehydration in the mornings. Edit: Most of my encounters were either at my parents house or out in public which made the situations even more awkward
 

Damien Thorne

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Jul 11, 2020
I had a friends with benefits over one day, but we got interrupted by a creepy psycho stalker who kept on pounding on my living room window for fifteen minutes straight even though all the blinds were closed. She wanted to beg me for some money. I regret not calling the cops on her over that incident.
 

TiggerNits

Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
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Sep 29, 2016
Wife is tipsy, and we're fucking hard and sweaty. She's drenching the bed with how wet she is, I have her screaming in to the pillow every 3-4 minutes for half an hour begging for more and telling me that it's the best sex she's ever had. I am rock hard and looking to have a biblical scale orgasm. I hear my 5 year old start wailing on the other side of the house, little shit should be asleep. I keep humping, a minute goes by and he's getting louder, so I pull out, throw on my shorts, tell my wife to not move and go check on my dude. He's barfed all over his bed, and has a tummy ache that woke him up. I scoop him up in to a warm bubble bath, scrub his mattress change his sheets and febreeze the room. Help him wash up in the bath and get him back in bed. It's been 20 minutes. Come in, wife is 100% passed the fuck out, even snoring, which she never does.

Being a good parent is truly all about sacrifice
 

Burned CDs

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Joined
Sep 28, 2021
I was at some sports bar with a friend, and we decided to bring this annoying ass girl with us. She always would ask me if I knew so and so, like every time we hung out. When we first met, we were drinking and i was trying to plow her and she wouldn't shut the fuck up so i just left. She added me on FB so i was just being nice to her and invited her out with us. Women make excellent wingmen, except this one.

So anyways, I'm half drunk and these two fine ass girls right next to me at the bar are kissing and I'm watching and smiling, and one of them asks if i was with anyone there, i just said a friend but i would like to make "new" friends.

As I'm getting their names and trying run a bit of game, here comes my lady friend, drunk and with tears coming out of her eyes. I'm thinking god damn it, not right now.

So she sits right between me and the girls and starts asking me if I still hang out with so and so, and I'm really annoyed at this point and i tell her to go sit somewhere else. I guess my remark to her rubbed the girls the wrong way and they talked amongst themselves and left without saying a word.

Some dude starts chatting up my female friend and asks if she's with me and i answer for her, NO, she's absolutely single.

I left that bar and went to a college party, and got stopped by police in the parking lot before i ever made it to the dorm. They searched the car and told me they broke the party up, it's why they were outside, waiting on people that were pulling up.

What a horrible night.
 

Slimy Time

Foot Fetish 2: Electric Boogaloo.
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Joined
Mar 29, 2018
Out in London during the crazy hours, 4-5am on a mate's birthday. Go to casino, birthday boy tries his luck at roulette, wins some money. Decides to go to a strip club with I and one other guy, asks the front desk and they direct us to an African security guard.

He decides to take us to a "pop up brothel", one of these places where you go to the top floor of an apartment and the whole floor is designed for prostitutes and clients to get it on. Whole place covered in plastic tarp. Birthday boy has money, I don't have any, other friend thinks he does, but he doesn't, and is very, very drunk. Birthday boy picks a prostitute and goes to a room, other friend also picks one, I don't, sit and talk. So I have to sit there and not bang a prostitute because I had no money while my mates bang in the other room

However, next thing I know the other friend is knocking on the door of birthday boy asking him for money so he can get his dick sucked, while birthday boy is in the middle of getting head. This gets the African security guard (clearly there to make sure people pay) irate from the noise made, so I do what good friends do, and bail quickly before beaten or stabbed and wrapped in tarp. They got out fine, though birthday boy had to pay for the incomplete bj, ended up getting waffles.

TL;DR, didn't have money for a prostitute and sat there like a faggot, but then also got to kinda see my friend get pseudo-cock blocked and payed a lot of money to get an unfinished blowjob.
 

The golden neckbeard

Web 1.0 Archaeologist and Professor of Goon study
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Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Alot of times i would be my own worst cockblock. I would start getting tired and totally bitch out of the bar at 11:30pm but wake up the next day with like 3 or 4 girls added to my friends list.

Didn't really have things like Tinder back then, POF was about it and that was a dating site....so karaoke bars were mandatory and a great place to pick up pussy. Take some weed and $20 and have a few beers, get a girl in a good conversation or in a game of pool...buy her a drink...ask her to go smoke a blunt with you and you should be good to go your dick should get wet if your chemistry clicked. Pretty easy imo.

I don't understand the whole Incel thing unless your missing a part of your face.

But when cockblocking did happen that wasn't because of me it was always some other girl that came with the one i was talking too.
 

TiggerNits

Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
True & Honest Fan
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Joined
Sep 29, 2016
I don't understand the whole Incel thing unless your missing a part of your face.

But when cockblocking did happen that wasn't because of me it was always some other girl that came with the one i was talking too.
Right? My friend who is now in a wheel chair and can't feel shit below his goddamed belly button managed to bag a pretty cute chick who is very nice. And he's a little chubby. All you need to get chicks is a job, hygiene and enough personality to make chicks remember your name
 

ForgedBlades

Milled wedges.
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Joined
Jul 30, 2016
Cockblocked myself out of a threesome the summer after my senior year of high school. both girls were a 6/10 at best, but that's not the point. They were dtf and begging for it and I was too much of a moralfag to cheat on my girlfriend of the time; the one who immediately parted ways with me once college started. All three of us were completely sober too. Both of them had been thirsting after me for years and we found ourselves in a hotel room alone together. They agreed it would be hot as fuck if they could do me together. And I turned it down and left.
 

totallyrandomusername

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Joined
Jul 2, 2021
There was this big guy (think Drachenlord) that used to be apart of our friend group, don't know how he ended up with us as none of us particularly enjoyed his company and he rarely ever spoke. Dude was as boring as all fuck.

I asked who it was, even though I knew, I just wanted to hear his voice, maybe I could set my mind at ease if I heard no ill will in his voice, but he didn't say anything, just kept walking. I glance over and I can now see what I thought at the time was an axe, turned out to just be the handle of one.

Now I'm really scared. I turned around and hurled my beer bottle at him as hard as I could. I wasn't even trying to hit him, just let him know I know what's up and it's not gonna be as easy as just walking up behind me and chopping me to shit while I take a piss.
He was going to violate the guy code. You never violate the guy code, for any reason. One of the entries in the guy code is "You will never attack another guy while his dick is hanging out, unless he is fucking your wife/girlfriend you are in a monogamous relationship with, etc... or is attempting sexual assault"
 

Bunny Wigglesworth

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Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Cockblocked myself out of a threesome the summer after my senior year of high school. both girls were a 6/10 at best, but that's not the point. They were dtf and begging for it and I was too much of a moralfag to cheat on my girlfriend of the time; the one who immediately parted ways with me once college started. All three of us were completely sober too. Both of them had been thirsting after me for years and we found ourselves in a hotel room alone together. They agreed it would be hot as fuck if they could do me together. And I turned it down and left.
Fuck man, me too. And I’d only been dating the girl I didn’t want to ditch for a week or so. Epic moralfag. One of the girls wanting to me to go home with them looked like a more attractive Drew Barrymore in her short hair era. The other was a 6/10 red head. Even worse, the girl I turned them down for ended up being a frigid blueballer with multiple personal disorder. Adios once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Of all the cockblocks I’ve seen, my self-cockblock was the worst.
 

Cats

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Joined
Apr 17, 2020
I was 18 right before I married my first wife and was trying to holler at her friend because I thought my future wife didn't really like me and was kind of a bitch (she was) and we were sitting/leaning on the back of my car and rear windshield when she said she was cold. Obv took off my leather jacket and wrapped it around her and she snuggled up to me and said my jacket smelled good, literally the second after she said that a bird pooped on her fucking face from the tree above.

She was so embarrassed that after I dropped her home she never answered my calls again and I ended up getting to know and then hooking up with her friend (my future ex wife) instead. If that bird hadnt been there maybe my first marriage wouldn't have been so ASS, fuck you BIRD.
 

MadStan

NFTs R 4 Chumps
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Joined
Jan 9, 2020
I don't have a story to tell (although yeah, I've been cock-blocked and don't wish to tell right now), but I do have some images of what can kill a boner. It must be crazy to be a dancer on stage and realize you are actually the size of just one leg of the main performers body.



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