Whats your first memory of sadness/disappointment/depression? -

[W00K #17]

The first memory I have of sadness is when the Chicago Bulls of the MJ era finally broke up. I remember sobbing uncontrollably as my father explained to me that the super heroes of my 1990s childhood, were not going to be a team together any more. Money and contracts and trades and retirement weren't something I could process at that age, all I could understand was that MJ and Scottie and Dennis and Steve and all the others werent going to be the team (for reasons I couldnt comprehend) I got to stay up late at night with my dad and see win the championship each year anymore, and it devastated me.

That's the first memory I have of feeling sad, what's yours?

 

[VQ 569]

I thought black people were made of chocolate. When I eventually sat next to one on the public metro, I was extremely upset to find out they smelled not like a confection, but like nauseating shit.

 

[Arcturus]

When I was about 5 or so I loved baby frogs. We had lots in our backyard. I loved them so much that I'd put them in my pockets and try to take them in the house. I did it so often that my mom or grandma would have to check my pockets every time I came back from playing outside. One time I managed to sneak past them and had a great idea. I decided to hide them inside my Polly Pockets. Well, later on I went to check on them and THEY WERE FUCKING GONE. I was so upset. Grandma apparently saw me do it and released them when I wasn't looking.

In hindsight, probably would have been more traumatic if she hadn't caught me and I instead discovered a bunch of baby frog corpses in a container with no ventilation.

 

[Madam Nekromantik]

Finding out hover boards from Back to the Future a weren't real.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Finding out hover boards from Back to the Future a weren't real.

That fake commercial from 2014 was a slap to the face.

I remember being heavily disappointed when I watch the Ninja Turtles movies in slow motion to try to learn their moves and realized they weren't actually hitting anybody.

 

[Sofonda Cox]

Santa.

Raised by increasingly radicalized evangelicals, I was about seven when we started attending church five days a week. During this period, the children would be shuffled into the damp basement to learn about Yahweh. This particular day, the instructor was earnestly explaining that holiday trees and lights and gifts were a disgusting, greedy slander of the most precious day that ever existed- the day our savior was born. She rolled her eyes and said "And we ALLLL know who brings those gifts, don't we?"

This was my moment. I knew this answer! "SANTA! I shouted.

Every face in the fucking room looked at me in exasperated disgust and shouted, in goddamn unison, "YOUR PARENTS".

It was mortifying. Later, when I went to my mother in tears, she gave me the same exasperated attitude.

 

[Dick Pooman]

When I was four, my family and I were out in our yard, and my cat was patrolling our big garden area when she got into a fight with a groundhog and it ended up completely shattering a bunch of her bones when it bit her. I vividly remember seeing the commotion in the bushes and my dad yelling and going after the groundhog. I also remember my dad carrying me while we all stood looking at the x-rays at the vet's office and crying after he told me that we needed to say bye-bye before they put her down.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

When the first dog I grew up with died. She was 4-5 years older and I was born around the time she had puppies so she got really attached to me. I’ve never felt closer to another dog.

The most disappointing moment was when the Seahawks lost to the Steelers in the Super Bowl. I truly believed we were the better team and were going to win it all.

 

[S4D4K0]

At a very young age while visiting relatives, they put on a VHS of "a cartoon" for me. Turns out, it was an anime called Grave of the Fireflies, and it was my introduction to the concept of death and total loss. All I really remember is that I fell to pieces when I figured out what was happening to everyone.

 

[kadoink]

Oh..I think I was like...7. I grew up poor, 1 pair of shoes and a few sets of clothes. Any clothing that I outgrew that survived was given to a younger sibling. It never occurred to me that other kids had more than 1 pair of shoes until I noticed one kid in my class would wear a few different pairs a week.

I had somehow convinced myself that there was a magic portal in a book and that by opening it after dinner it'd take me to...Like some kind of Narnia shit, only I'd be rich and not have to deal with the small dumpy house my folks had i the ghetto area we lived at and everything would be ok. So I got myself ready and opened the book...And reality set it. No getting away from it, no riches, nothing.

I know I was 7 and all but for some reason I really expected it to be real. Dumbest shit ever really, but thats my first real memory of being sad and depressed. Was tired of my folks always fighting(My mother was very mentally ill and took it out on my dad) my dad was working over 50 hours a week so we had a house and he had healthcare to take care of his family(especially my mom) and also the bitterness between my moms side of the family and my dads side.

None of that was going anywhere. It was gonna continue to play out over the next 8 years or so until someone it was finally resolved.

 

[Niggernerd]

My ex girlfriend dying 3 years ago.

 

[Exorbital Columnations]

It'd be easier to remember the first time I was truly happy. That was shockingly recent. But if I had to pick most disappointing? I'd say it was when I realized that nobody was going to notice I was sliding into the blackness and wouldn't be back for a good long time.

I was nine or so.

 

[Terminus Est]

When my father passed away. It's been a very very long time since he passed away. But somehow I've never managed to really get over it.

 

[Arctic Fox]

When my first dog died, I was broken. I had him for five years. From when I was little to the beginning of my middle schooling. People say it every time. I'll never have another dog... My second dog will be eight years old in October. Fucking eight! Every time she yelps jumping on the bed, or stops chasing the squirrel because she got tired, I think fuck. She's getting older.

Dogs are too good for us, really.

 

[kadoink]

I'd say it was when I realized that nobody was going to notice I was sliding into the blackness and wouldn't be back for a good long time.

Did you manage to give up your fascination with being a transracial negroid? ;P

 

[guccigash]

The greatest sadness I ever felt was the death of a friend from an undetected heart condition in her late 20s. I had never really known, never mind been incredibly close to anyone who died before and it hit me like a fucking steam train. I made fundamental changes to my life within three months of her passing based on the whole "if I die of a heart attack tomorrow" principle. She would have approved, she was a successful creative and massively impulsive.

edit to add - this was the first (and to date) only time I have experienced grief.

 

[MrTickles]

Being packed into a small bus in the middle of the night, realising we were never going to return. My childhood (a happy one) ended then and there at the age of 6. A couple of minefields, illegal border crossings and bribes later, we made it out of the war zone. Sadness returned every time we moved into a new country. I would be ~15 years old before finally settling into a new society, surrounded by new friends. Everything that happened from 6-14 might as well be a black hole. I had to learn 5 languages and attend 8 different schools in over 6 countries.

On the up side my IQ was forced up by at least ~30 points thanks to the blunt force linguistic trauma. On the downside I'm a cynical asshole, because I know how the world works and it ain't pretty.

 

[Omnium Ultimatus]

I grew up in a very strict Asian American household and was taught that my worth was predicated on how much I could make my parents proud. I didn't know how to converse or befriend anyone, and the only thing I did in the handful of times I was with other groups of kids was follow them around and pretend I was in the loop. When I was in the third grade, my parents cajoled me to join the tennis club. I didn't think anything seriously of it, but when I saw that the two best tennis players went home with gold and silver trophies, I broke down in tears. I thought I played very well and deserved a trophy too. I spent the sunset sobbing and yelling at the coach, until my mom came to pick me up and scolded me.

That incident alienated me from all the other kids, and I never made friends at that school. One major reason for the trauma I experienced in my childhood was because my parents and everyone else had conflicting attitudes and values, and I didn't know which ones I had to adopt. I was like a robot that was programmed by several different engineers who had nothing in common with each other other than the fact that they were engineers.

 

[PL 001]

Sad? Probably around the time I was around six or so. The family cat that I had bonded pretty close with had to be put to sleep (I think it was due to lukemia) having to say goodbye was difficult.

Depressed? Been an ongoing thing for about 15 years now. You have your good days where you're able to fake feeling alright enough to function, maybe even get that fleeting grasp of contentment. It's at night, when you have nothing but your thoughts to keep you company that it's at it's worst.

 

[Wendy Carter]

My uncle's death and grandfather's death within the next two years when I was in my early teens. My dad came back home with tears and his eyes and told me about it to my face. After that I became an emotional wreck for years to come. Even now the consequences are still there. The recent death of my grandmother marks the loss of my dad's entire immediate family.