Which lolcow is the dumbest/smartest? -

[melty]

So obviously almost all of the lolcows are pretty fucking stupid, but in different ways. Some have autism, some have schizophrenia but are otherwise pretty functional, some are actually quite functional but have BPD (like Rapp and Zoe)
Which lolcow do you think is just the straight up dumbest? Evidence is appreciated.
Kailyn comes to mind because she does stuff like get lost a couple of blocks from her house, puts on mascara wrong, put a diva cup in wrong, stuff that demonstrates she has some issues with basic spatial concepts you'd normally learn as a child. At least ADF is capable of reading a map.
Iconoclast also comes to mind because he does stuff like mistake bits of glass for diamonds and got lost in a hospital for 8 hours. He probably has schizophrenia but I think he might just be really fucking dumb on top of that.
Alternatively ones that are actually (relatively) smart but a lolcow in some other way. Milo comes to mind but I'm sure there are others.

 

[Pepsi-Cola]

Lolcows are, by virtue, stupid. If they were smart, they'd know how not to be lolcows.

the exception to this is lolcows who go out of their way to be provocative/get some weird pleasure out of their poor behavior, i.e. Milo or that Simon Olund guy.

 

[VortekPMD]

If lolcows were smart they wouldn't be lolcows would they?

 

[Innocuous Banter]

Ulillillia if that counts

 

[Flowers For Sonichu]

Uli is not a lolcow but he's probably the most intelligent internet weirdo. Nick Bate had a really high IQ, but masturbated with his own shit and didn't understand why pedophilia was wrong. I would say the definite stupidest is Strikerwolf. He most likely has brain damage from being so fat he can't breathe properly and has done things like give his password away if you tell him it will lead to the death of Null and also sent people pictures of his dick/diapers filled with poop.

 

[*Asterisk*]

The smartest?

Probably Arthur Chu. What he did on Jeopardy! was actually quite skillful, even though it made for unwatchable television. He's still a smug hypocrite with neither spine nor integrity, and that cancels out any degree of intelligence.

The dumbest?

Probably Tila Tequila. Her Darwin-Award worthy performance at the Gathering of the Juggalos happen'd before she got brain damage. This woman is the mother of another human being.

 

[Dr. Tremolo]

Len Shaner felt like the dumbest of all to me, which is why he was really hilarious but ultimately people were unable to keep him a lolcow for too long.

 

[AnOminous]

The smartest is probably that crazy guy who made TempleOS.

The dumbest is probably StrikerWolf. Or possibly Len Shaner, but StrikerWolf is just shockingly dumb on a level I have never seen on anyone who isn't literally in an institution.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

TJChurch figured out if he went away, we stopped caring about him.

That puts him above CWC, ADF, Brad Watson, Leighanna, and at least a dozen others.

 

[xXRonPaul_42020Xx]

The smartest is probably that crazy guy who made TempleOS.

Seconding this. Whens the last time Chris killed a CIA Nigger with his car?

 

[Roland MT-32]

I'm going to second Uli-however-it's-spelled but that really depends on whether or not he's a lolcow in the traditional sense.

 

[GetaFish]

I'd say everyone here are the smartest for producing lolcows like a factory.

 

[Holdek]

The guy who makes Temple OS is really smart, just completely psychotic.

 

[Mike "Bubbles" Smith]

I'm going to second Uli-however-it's-spelled but that really depends on whether or not he's a lolcow in the traditional sense.

Ulillillia isn't a lolcow, he's awesome. People pick on him because he's weird (and he's really weird) but he's not pathetic or awful or mock-worthy, he just wants to make his neat stuff.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Chu's smart but I'd say McIntosh was more successful so maybe him.

Least intelligent is the two little girls who were born without brains.

 

[Valkorion]

I think all lolcows have to be dumb to an extent, otherwise they wouldn't be lolcows. The dumbest ones however have to be those that share every possible detail of their lives, like CWC and Ali Rapp. These two are my top picks, and if I had to pick one of them I'd say Rapp is the dumbest, she managed to flush her (until that point) good life down the toilet, while Chris never had much of a life to begin with, thanks to his parents' efforts.

 

[AnOminous]

Chu's smart but I'd say McIntosh was more successful so maybe him.

Least intelligent is the two little girls who were born without brains.

Those aren't lolcows, just tragic accidents. Their parents may be, though.

 

[DumbDosh]

For smartest I'd say either agree with Arthur Chu or say Zoe Quinn, as shitty of people and regardless of how shitty their personalities are, they've at least accomplished things in their lives and can relatively say they've been successful. Like I wouldn't call those two dumb, a smug asshole and a manipulative compulsive liar doesn't make a person dumb it makes them a toxic personality. When you get to the part in TheZoePost where Eron realizes she was just manipulating him so she could keep him from calling her out and also so she could just delete as much evidence as possible and make the evidence already available look shady and fake in case he did call her out I along with a lot of other people probably thought damn, that is such a cold and calculating move.

For dumbest it's got to be Alison Rapp because of how quickly she screwed her life up with her bad decisions and continues to make it worse. Someone who started out wasting their life and continued to be a drain on society is one thing, but to go from having better than you deserve and not appreciating it and fucking it up by thinking you can do whatever you want and then going "well I could try to live within my means and try to improve myself or learn from my mistakes" and just saying screw that is way dumber than Chris just sitting in his house collecting government checks and playing with legos.

 

[BILLY MAYS]

I'd say Strikerwolf for general stupidity, and probably lolcows like Thomas Jay Wasserberg and James Terry Mitchell Jr, for actually defending child molestation.

 

[AnOminous]

For smartest I'd say either agree with Arthur Chu or say Zoe Quinn, as shitty of people and regardless of how shitty their personalities are, they've at least accomplished things in their lives and can relatively say they've been successful.

I'm going to disagree. Arthur Chu just knew some trivia and had a reasonably good game strategy and then got lucky. If he'd just got some questions he didn't know the answer to, his game would have been over. Or wait, Jeopardy. So the other way around. Whatever.

I'm sticking with the crazy guy who did TempleOS. It's an absolutely insane OS that nobody would ever want to use, but literally nobody personally invents an OS these days. Not even Linus Torvalds did. He just invented a kernel.