Which lolcow will die next? -

who will die next?

  • Boogie

    Votes: 39 26.5%
  • Spoony

    Votes: 11 7.5%
  • Lowtax

    Votes: 2 1.4%
  • Cooking w Jack

    Votes: 8 5.4%
  • Mumkey Jones

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Chantal

    Votes: 8 5.4%
  • Amberlynn

    Votes: 19 12.9%
  • Yaniv

    Votes: 6 4.1%
  • CWC

    Votes: 3 2.0%
  • A munchie

    Votes: 6 4.1%
  • a rat king

    Votes: 19 12.9%
  • ashley isaacs

    Votes: 4 2.7%
  • luna slater

    Votes: 12 8.2%
  • other (specify)

    Votes: 10 6.8%

  • Total voters
    147

kiaralilmami

pineapple on pizza irl
kiwifarms.net
all these fatties being brought up in this thread, its like people don't know our healthcare system is in shambles because keeping the morbidly obese alive instead of doing the humane thing and just letting them eat themselves to death seems to be a priority in some hospitals.

my money is on Kassie, what with the heroin and general filthiness; im honstly surprised she hasnt gotten abcesses in her arms yet that have become infected and killed her. no ome cares about junkies so unlike a fatty she'll probably just be left to die in the street
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
my money is on Kassie, what with the heroin and general filthiness; im honstly surprised she hasnt gotten abcesses in her arms yet that have become infected and killed her. no ome cares about junkies so unlike a fatty she'll probably just be left to die in the street
She'll probably creep on for years, slowly turning into a character thrown out of Requiem for a Dream for being unrealistically depressing.
 

Darndirty

kiwifarms.net
Yall are crazy. Both Chris's parents basically lived the same life style he has and both lived past 70. I bet you Chris goes in a similar fashion to bob, in his 70s to 80s from heart failure, like most Americans. Phil as well, seems generally healthy he never seems to be sick (except in the head). Btw by healthy with Chris and Phil I mean neither have disorders or ailments that could be life threatening, I mean the beetus is coming for both of them but that will be a different story once they have that.

With that, if I had to bet money it'd definitely be a Slaton.
 

kiaralilmami

pineapple on pizza irl
kiwifarms.net
She'll probably creep on for years, slowly turning into a character thrown out of Requiem for a Dream for being unrealistically depressing.
death would only be kind then

unless she gets dog aids or something, then that might kill her faster idk
 

Syaoran Li

White Trash Degenerate
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Unless he's put in solitary confinement or a really secure protective custody unit, Nick Bate will be murdered in prison most likely. Child molesters do not last long in the joint, especially in Gen Pop. They usually end up getting raped, killed, or both.


Sick Nick is a shanking just waiting to happen.
 
  • Disagree
Reactions: Cato

AnOminous

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Retired Staff
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Unless he's put in solitary confinement or a really secure protective custody unit, Nick Bate will be murdered in prison most likely. Child molesters do not last long in the joint, especially in Gen Pop. They usually end up getting raped, killed, or both.
Unfortunately, they usually survive, contrary to popular belief.
 
  • Agree
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Syaoran Li

White Trash Degenerate
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Unfortunately, they usually survive, contrary to popular belief.
Mainly because they're usually kept in protective custody, and even though many survive, the experience for them is even more unpleasant than it is for other prisoners.

Sex offenders and child abusers are at the very bottom of the totem pole in prison, even lower than cops and snitches. If you're both, you're a marked man. Even if you don't get killed or raped, you'll definitely get your ass kicked constantly and treated miserably (and that's the best-case scenario).

I don't think Nick Bate will be put in the general population. Someone like him is definitely going to protective custody or some other form of isolation. Personally I think he'll survive his stay in the joint, but he ain't gonna like it. And he's got a long stay.

But if any current lolcow would die first, I'd say it'd be either him or maybe Phil. I could see one of Phil's attention-seeking suicide attempts actually succeeding by accident. Also, while she's not technically a lolcow, Barb is the one most likely to not make it through 2017.

Chris will probably die long before meeting the average life expectancy of an American male in his age, but I'd say he's got a good shot of at least reaching his early-to-mid fifties even with his unhealthy lifestyle. I could even see him reaching his early seventies (albeit in a horrible and bed-ridden state). However, Barb's a dead woman walking at this point though.
 
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Cato

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Since I didn't see anyone mention him I will; I wouldn't be surprised to hear of Lucas Werner's passing. I actually initially suspected he may have died when he stopped posting to facebook and youtube a few weeks ago (although it seems that for now he is still kicking, just being compelled to shut up).

Guy has regularly posted updates and videos saying he is suicidal and he gets flooded with responses telling him to off himself, he's fat and consumes a diet consisting almost exclusively of Red Robin and tacos (and he used to be even more extremely obese), he's homeless most of the time and has a habit of getting kicked out of shelters, and he regularly engages in...provocative behaviour that could result in some teenage girl's dad or boyfriend kicking his ass. An all around dangerous lifestyle and there are number of ways he could die tomorrow that would be unsurprising to hear about.
 

AnOminous

Really?
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Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I don't think Nick Bate will be put in the general population. Someone like him is definitely going to protective custody or some other form of isolation. Personally I think he'll survive his stay in the joint, but he ain't gonna like it. And he's got a long stay.
He's got two strikes for protective custody. He's a child molester, but he's also obviously mentally ill. And he's so fucking stupid he'd probably go around complaining about how he didn't even do anything wrong, he just (spews details of his molestation).
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Syaoran Li

Cato

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He's got two strikes for protective custody. He's a child molester, but he's also obviously mentally ill. And he's so fucking stupid he'd probably go around complaining about how he didn't even do anything wrong, he just (spews details of his molestation).
In the facility where I worked, no rationale whatsoever was required to get placed in "protective custody" so long as the inmate requested it. But regular "PC" units are a joke; they are just big, open units indistinguishable from genpop except for the fact that everyone in there requested PC for whatever reason. Some of them were ex-gang members, some of them just had enemies, etc. Still an unbelievably dumb idea to out oneself as a sex offender there (not that that stopped people), but yeah, confirming what you said and contradictory to what the other guy said, it's still extremely rare for even outed sex criminals to be murdered (even though they'd have a rough time in other ways).

However, not all PC units are created equal...there was the standard PC unit which, as I mentioned, was pretty useless in terms of actual "protection." But there was also a "super skinner" unit ("skinner" is prison slang for a sex offender) for guys that committed sex crimes bad enough that they wouldn't survive in regular PC (in addition to some random assortments of people who couldn't defend themselves due to serious health problems, or who just painted a target on their back for whatever reason...for example, one white inmate I dealt with on that unit had made the mistake of dropping n-bombs at black inmates who were bullying him in genpop before). And also admin seg for people who needed to be isolated for safety instead of disciplinary reasons (for example while I was there that unit held a high profile mass murderer, a guy who had gotten press for making bestiality porn, and an ex-cop who was charged with murder).
 

TheMightyMonarch

Yee
kiwifarms.net
I don't know why everyone is saying Chris. While I imagine that he's not particularly healthy, the human body is surprisingly plucky and doesn't give up easily. There are people out there who put there bodies through much worse than Chris has for decades and they're still kicking. As someone mentioned above me, his parents passed the 70 year mark. Not that I think he'll live to be really old either. He'll probably kick the bucket in about 20 to 30 years from now.

I'll just echo what everyone else here has said and it'll be a threeway tie between Ashley, Tammy Slaton, and Nick Bate. Ashley and Tammy for their polar opposite yet both extremely unhealthy body types and Nick for either getting shanked for being a pedo or a tooth infection.

Since I didn't see anyone mention him I will; I wouldn't be surprised to hear of Lucas Werner's passing. I actually initially suspected he may have died when he stopped posting to facebook and youtube a few weeks ago (although it seems that for now he is still kicking, just being compelled to shut up).

Guy has regularly posted updates and videos saying he is suicidal and he gets flooded with responses telling him to off himself, he's fat and consumes a diet consisting almost exclusively of Red Robin and tacos (and he used to be even more extremely obese), he's homeless most of the time and has a habit of getting kicked out of shelters, and he regularly engages in...provocative behaviour that could result in some teenage girl's dad or boyfriend kicking his ass. An all around dangerous lifestyle and there are number of ways he could die tomorrow that would be unsurprising to hear about.
That's actually a rather logical answer. Dude is middle age, homeless, doesn't have the best diet, and is mentally ill. He's not long for this earth.
 

Sparky Lurker

Arauto do Autismo
kiwifarms.net

break these cuffs

W A O
kiwifarms.net
Br cow is trying to commit suicide via sodium right now:
View attachment 1161052
You're telling me a Brazilian couldn't find an illegal firearm to buy?
 
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