WHICH LOLCOW WOULD YOU EAT -

The Janitor

Cleaning the apocalypse, one bloody mop at a time
kiwifarms.net
I would eat Jerry Peet's ribs. I'd order them rare. The reason is because it might be happening anytime soon with Jerry's money-spending habits.
 

Hakurei Zero

Lurker Extraordinaire
kiwifarms.net
I'd take a cut of some fine-crafted, jiggly, bloated Sargon belly, but, I'm afraid that the don would have his goons capture me and try to force me to watch with him as my friends are eaten by a giant monster located within a pit by his expensive, desert-based home, in a galaxy far, far away.
 

Exorbital Columnations

A dog's rights activist, a lover, a friend.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I guess it would have to be the surviving (?) Hartley Hooligan. I've got a soft spot for veal and is it really cannibalism if the thing never had a mind or a soul?

As for the cut... just roast the little sucker whole, I'm sure the bones are tender and succulent..... or maybe in a pressure cooker... little rosemary, little holy water... yum!
 

Philosophy Phil

Please step out of my sunshine
kiwifarms.net
For me, it's the entire Democratic National Convention served with apple pie, vanilla ice cream, and a big bowl of delicious Chicken Dumplings paired with a sweet peach tea and a Marlboro Red chaser.
 

soft kitty

1 like = 1 pet
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'd want a nice fat one like Starrygreeneyes95. Not too old either, just ripe enough; spit roasted, little salt and pepper. Yum.
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
Victoria Shingleton (had to look up the thread to get her name) seems to have the right percentage of fat to meat to make a good rib-rack. Probably get some half-decent burgers if you put the rest of the meat through a grinder.

May I remind the dear niggers of Kiwifarms that sausages and pies and broths exist, and thus even cows that look way too fatty or gristly or bony can probably be broken down and minced/smoked/brined/boiled for stock/whatevered into some truly delicious manchildmeat

In my opinion your best bet would be really fatty ones like Amberlyn sincere there probably will be a lot of value in rendering the fat to use in preparing other lolcows, not to mention some very tender never exercised meat.

And the offal....my god the offal of her alone would be fucking priceless. Her liver is probably the size of a beachball and can be combined with some DSP Bacon to create a year supply of pate, her stomach can easily be used to make a haggis big enough to contain an entire minced and stewed DesmondIsAmazing, and her intestines are probably sufficient to create a literal thousand Moviebob sausages.

And dont even get me STARTED on how many fucking chiterlings her bloated fucking colon might be processed in to...

No. You get ONE to eat. You're not John Madden, no Turducken-esque shinanigans.
 
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Prince Lotor

Oldschool 80's winged-helmet autism
kiwifarms.net
I'd eat Milo Stewart because they'd probably be into it at first, then have second thoughts about whether they identify as a Vorarephile or not, then have all kinds of interesting realizations as I didn't give a shit and just ate them anyways. Nothing like some light dinner conversation and if it's with the dish all the better. Plus I think technically they are some kind of exotic animal at this point, it'd be like getting to eat an archaeopteryx.

And then, whatever this is, I would eat them like this.
 
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