Which lolcow would you unironically sex? -

Leopold II of Belgium

Humble rubber merchant
I'm willing to molest a hammerhead shark after about a week of ehhh.... cleaning. Yeah, cleaning.


True & Honest Fan
Martin Shkreli. He plays up the whole comic book supervillain thing because he's a massive troll and attention whore, but he's not the completely irredeemable piece of shit people seem to think he is. (That drug he jacked up the price of for insurance companies was available from him for free to anyone who couldn't afford it.)
Martin with his cat Trashy:

I used to watch his streams sometimes. He would talk to literally anyone who called in, and if they were civil to him he could be genuinely kind. If they fucked with him the arrogance/sarcasm/trolling came out
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It's gay af for a man to take a nap
Are you a woman?
And if so why would you date someone that lacks masculinity as much as Philosophy does.
I think Olly was cute a few years ago when he didn't have facial hair. Glasses, dark hair, and a nerdy personality is my type.


Now that he looks like a bloated troon, he's not dateable but I'd be happy to fuck the smug smile off of him


Where's my pen?
Spoony, but I'd hop the fuck outta there right after. No way am I financially, emotionally, supporting that pathetic sadbrain. But it'd probably be good hate sex.
2nd would be Nostalgia Critic, admittingly he keeps himself clean. However, I'd probably have to duct tape his mouth, god is he annoying AF.
I'm also tempted to say DSP isn't hideous looking , but I can't stand him personally. He's too tarded.


Chairman of the mammary regulation committee
I would fuck ben shapiro's tittymonster sister, dont know if she's a cow but that manlet is practically one, so I would be cucking him or whatever

Would bang nigri, tho I rather done that years ago. Probably delphine too since she knows how to handle a dick

Probably would've hatefucked milo before she went tranny, I bet she likes to get chocked

Moomookun is just too digusting, have to draw the line somewhere

Copout answer: Brittany Venti

Ngl I would too but then I saw that pic of her without a bra and her titties were halfway to her waist

Between that and the FAS I'm kinda grossed out tbh