Which lolcow would you unironically sex? -

Troonos

Regrettable Cake Farts
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Can I make her wear sunglasses? If so, I'd go with Brittany Venti. Her eyes are so far apart that she can see behind her, but her body is nearly perfect. Plus, her edgy alt-right persona is super hot even if I don't agree with it.

Close runner-up is not a lolcow but is lolcow adjacent... Sheepover. The QT3.14 ginger that Mumkey left for a pedophile that looks like a teenage boy. She was super cute and wholesome.

Sex Brittany Venti. Marry Sheepover. Kill Jonathan Yaniv.
 
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Slimy Time

Read 'em and weep
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I’ve always thought Alison Rapp looked like the kind that wanted to be choked and slapped around during sex. Count me in.
She's the type who will want to peg you in the ass and then get Tyrone around and force you to be fucked by him while she watches. You would be Jake Rapp 2.0.

Would one of Projared's orbiters like his ex wife count? Cute and thinks her ex husband's penis is "huge", so she's probably a tight fit.
 
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dinoman

I specifically requested the opposite of this
True & Honest Fan
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shoe0nhead.

To be honest...yeah. I would. The problem is that she's short and weird as fuck.
This was the first one that came to mind. She's the only one even remotely smash-able. Actually, I take that back, I would smash Anisa, idubbbz's girlfriend; while Ian watches.

Maybe Alinity, too; she's not half bad looking tbh.
 
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Pinochet Was Right

And he did nothing wrong
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shoe0nhead, that waist is entrancing. Fight me.
Pre-crisis Tila Tequila, I did wank it to her pics back then.
Pre-crisis Lindsay Ellis, she had that cute thing back then
Pre-crisis Felicia Day, when she was a glorified booth babe
Pre-Chrisis Laci Green

honorary mention because she had to do (barely) with Channel Autism: Goggles. And I wouldn't stop.

And I'd hit Lupa, with a stick.
 
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