Who was the creepiest person you've ever met IRL. -

Jerry_ smith56

The man in black
Lots of threads like this exist on Reddit and I was wondering what stories would come from us kiwi farmers. They could be creepy exs or overprotective parents.

You cannot use lolcows you've met IRL in this thread because that would be boring. I might make a thread for that in the near future if the response to this is positive.


I was phone!
I saw two different people that walked around reciting the bible. Not just phrases from the bible, it was more like they were reading off pages and pages of it. It was like listening to an audio book of the bible, but it was coming from two nicely dressed young guys. They both had dress shirts and slacks on. One of them even stopped what he was saying long enough to order a burger, than picked up right where he left off after he was done.

These two weren't together. I saw them at different times in the span of two weeks.
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Jerry_ smith56

The man in black
I saw two different people that walked around reciting the bible. Not just phrases from the bible, it was more like they were reading off pages and pages of it. It was like listening to an audio book of the bible, but it was coming from two nicely dressed young guys. They both had dress shirts and slacks on. One of them even stopped what he was saying long enough to order a burger, than picked up right where he left off after he was done.

These two weren't together. I saw them at different times in the span of two weeks.
Their parents must be proud.


you're not real fuck you
True & Honest Fan
My physics professor from high school always seemed drunk early in the morning, his clothes were always dirty, as his hair, and he smelled like one month-old sweat.
He made strange remarks about both genders, and one time, he compared the way a girl moved her ass when walking to some sort of pendulum mechanics shit, in the middle of lecture. He literally said that the asshole of the girl was equal to the 'center of mass' of the pendulum, in that comparision.
He was a mess, and one day he simply didn't show up. We never saw him after that, and teachers apparently didn't want to tell us what happened, but we guessed he was fired.
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Alrighty, where to start.

When I was living in a student apartment with my two buddies and one of them moved out, a Chinese guy moved it in his place. To put his demeanor short, he was the only Chinese guy who never learned the local language, every other Chinese guy thought he was a complete jerk. Not a big deal since English is widely known by everyone anyway, but here's the little things for starters:

He always crammed the fridge full of vegetables despite being told numerous times that there's a cold storage under the fridge that isn't as cold, so every time his veggies started freezing he complained that the fridge needs to be turned up in temp a few degrees (which would mean spoiled tard cum, lovely times). The kitchen was always filled with fresh produce like he was cooking for an entire family, the dishes piled up fast and the smell was overwhelming. He insisted on wearing hard slippers which made a loud SCHLOP noise as he walked around because he thought the indoors floor was too dirty to talk in socks.

One night I hear him come home piss-ass drunk and shouting and banging shit in his room, so I pop my head out of my room and tell him to be quiet cus it's the middle of the night. In response, he storms out of his room, butt-naked, and starts jumping around with his dick almost slapping me in the face while screaming "FUUUCK YOUUUU" and then turning around and going back into his room. From which he still yells some curse words in my language (the only words he ever learned.)

The next morning I notice the bathroom door handle is broken because while he was jumping around he grabbed it and twisted it, breaking the clasp in place. I have to screw the damn thing open to get a shower. This is the point where I am reminded that he always responds to negativity and serious "You need to fucking stop this shit"-talks with smiling and laughing (he says he always does that, and in my culture such an attitude would get your ass kicked pretty hard when you start laughing at someone telling you you're an utter ass.)

I am slightly shaken that he's so unhinged so I just move out to a new apartment. After a year, he knocks on the door and informs he's moving into THAT apartment now. Apparently he used to be in a single room flat for a while before that but "it's being renovated so they had to get me another place to live" - I do not want to know what transpired there. It was utter pure bad luck that he was given a room in that apartment I had moved in. I'd rather be hit by lightning, really.

So as I am making preparations to get my own flat to get permanently away from this insanity, he knocks on my door, smiling, and asks if I wanna go outside to wrestle. The guy is much more muscled than me, taller than me, and he is fucking insane, so naturally I say no. After that I made sure I never again have to live with complete strangers. For all I know he could've tried clocking me out for the fun of it any day, and I wouldn't even be surprised.

To this day I hate the sound of slippers schlopping across the floor.

Oscar Wildean

OK Corral
1. A man who tried to date my mom when I was a teenager. He was talking to me in our house and he told me that he thought I was cute and touched my arm. The whole encounter made me uncomfortable and I told my mom about it right after it happened.

2. An old man who was a customer where my mom was a bartender. I liked him for a while and I used to have conversations with him when I'd visit the restaurant and he seemed like a nice friendly older man. Until I got a phone call on my mom's phone and I heard this old man who was married, by the way- trying to talk my mom into having sex with him in his car. (She didn't do it though.)
After that I couldn't look at him the same and I refused to chat with him. I ended up befriending a local customer instead.

An Sionnach Seang

Russell Greer audiobook in profile
years ago I was out at the pub with a few mates and this lad who was a friend of a friend joined our group
the first thing we noticed was that he was socially stunted - after he arrived, it was fully half an hour before he spoke to anyone
he was a few years younger than me, very scrawny, spoke in a near-whisper, always stared and never smiled or blinked
he was unbelievably creepy and shifty, the kind of person you don't want to turn your back on in case they try to stab you in the neck
having said that, he wasn't there for long; he got thrown out of the pub for starting a fire in an ashtray, lol

the other one I remember was this guy who sometimes drank at my pub and who worked as a teacher
he was outwardly friendly and sociable, but he set off my internal dodgy-fucker alarm something terrible
it was partly his unfortunate appearance (tiny eyes, greasy skin, dodgy glasses and going very bald) but mainly something about his mannerisms, something I just couldn't put my finger on
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Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
When I was a student, I had a landlord who was basically the IRL version of Pop from the League of Gentlemen. Looked like him, sounded like him, acted like him. To the point where I actually wondered if he was the basis of the character.
He used to creep on my female housemate and any female friends we had over. He’d show up at random times - like, 10 at night. He had a number of equally gross friends who also tried to creep on anyone female in the vicinity.

He had been married four times. His oldest child was 59 and the youngest was 3. His last wife, he told us proudly, was his stepdaughter, but he dumped her shortly after getting her pregnant.

He didn’t like me because I clashed with him over the time he tried to put an extra level on the house without telling us right in the middle of exams.


Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch!
I went to a wedding reception and some old guy sat really close to me and began asking my uncomfortable questions. I was kicking my dad under the table for five minutes, he didn't help, and I only got away because I said a sibling was beckoning me over to the dance floor.


Degenerate Robot
I had a boss who didn’t believe in bathing and would say creepy shit about the teenage females that came through my job. One thing that still makes me cringe was something he once said, “If they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough for me.”
Did he reincarnate as Dan Schneider?


Terrainist Shitlord!
A dude my wife used to know who ran a church youth group once very generously donated a full Acorn RISC PC to my collection complete with a ton of mint games, a shit load of spare parts and all the manuals and accessories I could ever want. Naturally my first step was to format the drives. Three weeks after giving me the machine (but not linked to it) he was busted as a huge peado. Now I know he was tech savvy enough to have scrubbed those drives clean before giving the machine away assuming his porn was ever on it (they found it on DVDRWs in his attic) but I nuked them all the same. I know he didn't give the machine away to cover his tracks as he was busted purely by accident when he left a DVD in his laptop and his wife thought it was old family photos and thought she's reminice.

The Shadow

Pulp Enthusiast
My High School had at least two that creeped me out.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but my Computer Science teacher in High School used to skeeve the hell out of me. It wasn't too bad when we were in the BASIC programming course with lots of people, but once we got into learning J# and the class was down to like, 8 people...Basically, he was an older dude, I believe a Vietnam vet. If we asked a question, he'd come up behind our chairs, put his hands on our shoulders and rub, all the while asking questions while calling us things like "Sport" or "Champ". I was so uncomfortable from that that I literally stopped asking questions and never understood the J# language. I passed the class by copy-pasting code from a website. And that's pretty much why I quit programming.

I was kind of into this girl that was big into Drama and Theater, and hung around with the theater clique that I otherwise couldn't stand just to hang around her. The drama teacher, who was always there until about 7pm, was a morbidly obese middle-aged guy that I'd describe as Bush League Dan Schneider. I remember this vividly because he was paying a lot of attention to the girl I was into and she always looked really distressed when he was around. I never found out anything else but I got some seriously fucking weird vibes out of that. Could have just been my hormones and territoriality overreacting, but still...
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A small time "promoter" for my towns rock music scene used to have house parties, I only went to 2 of them but both times he invited like 16 year old girls and tried to hook up with them, neither were interested cause he was like 25 fat and ugly but it weirded me out how much he'd push them to drink more and try to get them alone.

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