Who was the creepiest person you've ever met IRL. -


Discord Dominatrix
True & Honest Fan
Well, I think I found the creepiest person an entire 30 person class met.

We had a class lolcow a few semesters ago, dude was off his nut. Imagine Tommy Wiseau except all the eccentricities and none of the charm. He wrote some really weird fucking homework questions, some of us dug up some social media posts as well, that ended up circulating through the entire class, and even spread to a few other classes the guy wasn't in because it was just hilarious. Think irl kiwi farms. One of his assignments legit started with *Readies Soapbox* before he launched into a giant rant.

Anyways I had to sit next to him and was immensely uncomfortable the entire semester. I usually try to be as polite and don't really ignore people but I actually was so unnerved by him that I would refuse to talk to him when the teacher told us to talk to the people next to us, all I would do is look ahead and stare. One time my teacher got pissed at me for always being so silent but i said i was tired and pretended to sleep for the rest of class to avoid talking to him. He never did quite get it into his head and would always talk, he also never figured to turn to the other two people on his other side, granted they were also terrified of him. I did end up taking the girl on the other side of him's spot a few times to be with a friend (and get away) she started to legit hate me for it even though I only did it a like 5 times... It was always then that he learned to turn the other way for partner chat.

Anyways, halfway through spreading the good word of his wacky posts, he walks in not 30 seconds after me and two girls had talked about it. My friend and I both silently freaked the fuck out the entire class and on the way out she said something to the effect of "I hate having to tiptoe around people on the off chance they decide to shoot up the school", apparently we had both gotten school shorter vibes from him. He didn't do it obviously, but when we brought it up to more people they also agreed they got those vibes from him, namely the entire row behind us. He was away the last few days of the semester and everyone in class openly talked about how fucking off he was and had a genuinely good time in class, unlike whenever he walked in and the classroom would go silent unless prompted by the teacher.

Tl;dr: some guy was such a weirdo that everyone in the class got school shooter vibes from him. They also turned irl kiwi farms and laughed at all his shit, I have never felt so connected to a class.

Kiwi Lime Pie

The purr-fectly tasteful treat. 🥝🥧🐈
Several years ago at a tournament, I found myself unofficially babysitting the tournament director's five-year old kid when the former had to make rounds at other the fields in the park hosting the tournament. Upon seeing her mother returning to our field later on, the kid ran off to rejoin her and ran past an umpire who was waiting to umpire the next games on the field I was at.

Fast forward a few months, and the local newspaper had an article that the aforementioned umpire was arrested when his girl friend found a video, played it, and looked on in horror to see he had videotaped himself fooling around with her teen/tween daughter :horrifying::islamic:. The guy seemed to be a prominent umpire in the area, so his arrest generated quite the buzz. My colleagues that were familiar with the guy felt just as shocked and repulsed as I was when they heard the news.

Worse, I couldn't help wondering if he had taken any creepy interest in my colleague's five year-old when she ran past him to rejoin her mother. The mere thought left me so shaken and disgusted that I promised myself that any future kids entrusted in my care would be personally escorted from one spot to the next to ensure their well-being and safety.
Just thinking about the guy to share this story here leaves me feeling creeped out. :cryblood:


Killed Captain Clown
When I was just out of college I lived in Cleveland (aka StinkTown, OH) and took public transit to and from my job for a little while. One afternoon, this mentally ill homeless guy got on the bus and I swear to god, he looked like quasi-famous midget entertainer Beetlejuice, except blown up to normal-person height.

The bus is dead quiet and he immediately starts babbling to himself (or possibly addressing everyone, it's really hard to say with people who are that far gone) about how he's "the neighborhood storyteller" and "friendly grocery stores" before sitting down in the back in a seat that the previous occupants vacated after seeing him waddling towards them. Seriously, they got up from that seat like they just discovered a fucking bomb. So as we ride to the next stop, Giant Beetlejuice continues to mumble to himself and intermittently bury his head in his hands and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

The worst part was when he stood up a couple stops later, he started randomly talking to people about other people on the bus (I'm not proud to admit, but yeah, I fucking hid). Like one guy had a lunchbox and the dude repeatedly screamed in his ear "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THAT LUNCHBOX?" and when that person escaped, he turned to the next immediate person and yelled, "WHERE DID THAT PERSON TAKE THAT LUNCHBOX?"

Not sure about the rest of the passengers, but I know I let out a sigh of relief when that fucker eventually got off. You read these stories about how people in less-enlightened eras of human history were convinced that crazy people like Giant Beetlejuice were actually possessed by demons and I can almost see their point.

Curt Sibling

Napoleon Blownapart
True & Honest Fan
A few years back, at my table in a comic con - This balloon-shaped young man in Matt Smith Dr Who cosplay
comes up and browses my books. He has those tell-tale dead eyes and potato face of autism, but I don't judge.

Picking out a comic with a lot of babes, he asks if I have anything with very erotic content, I politely say that
I draw fun adult cartoons, not porn. He blinks spergishly and then proceeds to tell me that he is a writer.
He tells me about his fan fiction blog. A fan fiction blog of rule-34 Harry Potter, and his pals.

I promptly tell him to get the hell away from my table. He wanders over to the next table and starts
exactly the same robotic conversation with my friend...What a big mutant lump of sick.

John Titor

Pronouns: time/temporal/tempself
There are these two weirdos that have the same behavior despite being obviously different people who come into my store listening to music on their phone but with them pressed against their head and singing along loudly. I'd describe them as wiggers but one of them was Asian. They go around asking random strangers for fist bumps and occasionally strike a threatening pose yelling "Yeah what? What? What? Want to start some shit?" They keep coming back despite being kicked out numerous times for being nuissances that sometimes the cops had to come in and they don't stop coming after that. I think the worst part of this encounter is that they don't fucking buy anything.


I was phone!
I don't know if it's creepy, but one of my old high school science teacher joined the Scientology cult over Christmas break. He came back and told everyone about how we all had alien souls in us and how we can fix them. I didn't know what Scientology was at the time, so I just thought it was funny. He even gave us Scientology related school work. I later heard that he quit teaching and ran off to California to become an American Gladiator.


it just goes on and on and on and on...
There was one guy I met in the military who the second I met him I felt cold chills and wanted him far, far away from me. No idea why. My friends got along fine with him, and kept trying to get me to hang out with them and the guy, but I always begged off. Just loathing at first sight, and there was nothing visible in his behavior or dress that I could point to to say “this, this is why I’m creeped the fuck out by him”.

He wound up screwing my friends over later, but up to that point they never understood my dislike.

I don’t remember his name or anything, I vaguely wonder what happened to him.

Nick Gars

Ravioli ravioli, I am a faggitoli
Some weed dealer who was a convicted fellon. After he got out of prison, he sent my homie who was pretty much his protege a golden knife and 9mm to let him know he got out. He's still out there somewhere, not looking forward to the day I have to face this crazy fucker.

Rick Pratt

Whiny poet
Last year, I was looking for a new person to start talking to, I ended up meeting a creep at my college, he was very clingy and overprotective and aware of it but he did nothing to change it,it was very uncomfortable,he would spam my facebook messenger with creepy messages yet he went on about how similar we were, even though we barely spoke about anything else, because of him I couldn't listen to Fleetwood Mac the same way I used to because he liked that band, when he'd tell me about fancying me he'd make it sound like a less of a problem than it really was, I hated having to lie and say I was ok with it and he was really just using me in the end
luckily that moron isn't in my life anymore, he claims to have changed but I couldn't care less because he's still as emotionally manipulative as ever,
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Fat Pikachu

Is your privilege running? You better go check it!
One time I was walking down a forested path right next to a quiet neighborhood in the summer. A guy who was walking the opposite direction of me (so towards me due west while I was walking towards him due east) stopped when we crossed paths and asked me where the pool is. He definitely was not dressed for the pool though, in dress pants and a button up shirt carrying either a messenger bag or a laptop (which one escapes me).

I told him the pool was about a mile in the direction to the left of where he was walking, around quite a few corners. Also, the pool is members only, but he said he wasn't a member, which struck me as odd because there was a non-exclusive pool nearby, too, but he wasn't looking for the one he could actually get in. His story didn't quite line up, but maybe he was just new to the area and was just going to the pool that was the top result on google? Idk.

I asked if he didn't have google maps on his phone but he just said "ok" and kept walking so I did too. But maybe five paces later, he flips a u turn and starts following me. I noticed because I'm not a dope and was looking over my shoulder while pretending to check my phone.
So I dialed a 9 and a 1 and hustled over to sit on the hood of a nearby empty cop car. He sped up to keep pace with me until maybe the last 5 meters but never called out or anything, which to me says he wasn't quite looking for clarification on my directions.

I saw him hanging out on the edge of the forest staring at me before going back in and walking off, not towards the pool.
I'm sure there's an explanation for all this where he may have been a normal dude that just happened to act like a serial killer, but whatever better safe than sorry.

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
Back when I worked as a haybuck/generic yardmonkey for a seed-and-feed a customer struck up a conversation with me about the amazing health benefits of algae. As I finish loading his order he hands me a small dark-greenish capsule and as I'm puzzling over it he explains that taking these cured his herpes. After he went on his way I dropped the capsule, sprinted to the restroom and washed my hands with soap and water so hot I could barely stand it. For minutes straight.

Fat Pikachu

Is your privilege running? You better go check it!
Oh wait I also forgot but I knew this weirdo in high school --
She was a girl but called herself a male name, let's say Carl. She wasn't a transsexual, but just thought the name Carl was randem ecks dee.
She literally smelled like an open dumpster. It was so bad that you could smell it from two desks away. I can't describe it, just combine rotting food with moldy socks and a leaking garbage bag with BO in your head and you'll come close.
Carl's hair was always so greasy that it looked like she just stepped out of the shower, too.

Personal grooming oddities wouldn't be so bad if she didn't insist on touching people all the time. She would insist on hugs even if you weren't friends, and if you tried to pull away, then Carl would grab your arm in a vice-like grip and literally twist it until you obeyed. She would also sit in people's laps uninvited. I think one time she hugged me and the grease from her hair left a stain on my shirt. She did the same thing with hand holding, too...

She had a habit of picking one person to latch really damn hard on to, so her friendships were short lived. One time she got an unfortunate girl to hang out with her and wouldn't shut up about "remember, you're my bitch ... you'll do anything I say".
In junior year she would wear a pair of cat ears everywhere and offer a matching set to everyone, and if you accepted you were the new "friend" and also her "pet" and she'd demand that you miau and let her pet you.

One time Carl decided to cling on to me for like a week because we were in the same class. The very first night after I gave her my phone number, she was begging me to play Disney's Toon Town with her. When I politely declined, she started going off on a tangent about how she was about to kill herself and already took some pills and blah blah, so I asked her address (for the 911 operator) and her response was "it's x, why, arw you coming to visit me? :3" lel.

tasty murder burger

If moths had eyes, would they be happier?
From the ages of 12 until 14 I hung around with a big emo posse. I got to know a lot of people from my area through this time and made some firm friends but there was always older kids who would be kicking about so the age range of this group, even though I was hanging out mostly with people no older than 15 when I was 12 went from around 12 to 18. The older ones had the backs of the younger kids and we didn't really interact because what sane 18 year old would want to headbang to Avenged Sevenfold in the middle of a shopping centre with a group of 12 and 13 year olds, right?

This guy started hanging out with us who was 21, I assumed at the time that he was a friend of one of the older kids because when I first started to see him was during the summer in the park where literally everyone hung about. It became apparently very early on that he just...appeared...and was very interested in talking to the younger kids, including myself. He wore the exact same outfit every time I saw him - camo pants styled with a chain, a black t-shirt with a wolf on it, a smelly old leather jacket, big heavy boots. He also carried around a pen knife and a packet of hot sauce - don't ask me why. I recall one day being at the cinema with two of three others, all of us were under the age of 14 at the time and when we were walking out he was walking across the road and darted over to speak to us. Another time I was walking to get my bus alone and he followed me all the way to the stop, I had to run away from him in fear that he was gonna kidnap me.

Eventually he stopped appearing but a few years later I saw him kicking about AGAIN, in his signature style with a new group of very young looking emo kids. I only ever learned his first name and to this day I don't know his last day because he doesn't have Facebook but he earned the nickname 'Pedo [name]' because of his creepy antics.
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Some middle-aged guy who wished I'd give him a handjob, after he saw me working my summer job as a repairer for my hometown, a lot of years ago. I was scraping rust from a streetlight pole in an up-and-down motion that probably gave him the inspiration. I had a very childlike face then, and I had to show my ID to convince people that I was old enough to vote, but that fucker didn't give a shit that I could have been a minor and besides, he lived in a house in that street, so I suppose that he couldn't just ogle me like the usual pervert, he had to voice his fantasy. Then, five minutes later, he tried to make me drink a glass of juice, with the excuse that it was a very hot day. No, thanks, fucker. Ugh.

cuddle striker

please wait what is your genotype
True & Honest Fan
A lot of people get fired in the death industry. That's all I want to say about them, but I've seen a few come through.

If I could find their online hijinks I'd make threads on them, but they're usually trying to hide what they are so they can keep trying to get jobs at funeral home, etc.

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
Had a dude I worked with a long time ago that would talk to himself in the office I worked at. Full blown conversations with himself. Didn't care if other people were present or not. Would go to the bathroom and tell himself jokes and laugh at them. Would wipe bloody boogers on the walls in the bathroom.

Got fired because he took a shit on the bathroom floor.

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
Had a dude I worked with a long time ago that would talk to himself in the office I worked at. Full blown conversations with himself. Didn't care if other people were present or not. Would go to the bathroom and tell himself jokes and laugh at them. Would wipe bloody boogers on the walls in the bathroom.

Got fired because he took a shit on the bathroom floor.
I actually talk to myself a bit at times. Not really conversations, just kind of working through chains of reasoning aloud, helps kind of keep me centered on whatever I'm working through when I'm at the point where my thoughts are starting to race (I'm terrible about trying to juggle a bunch of shit in a short period of time). Or chiding myself. I do that a lot, usually kind of under my breath. I do occasionally read my posts on the Internet aloud to myself to help me decide whether it's coming across in the fashion I want it to (or to make sure my diction is correct).

Thing is, moment someone notices I'm doing this and mentions as much I pretty much clam right the fuck up. This tends to result in more exceptional shit happening.

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