Who was the creepiest person you've ever met IRL. -

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
Had a dude I worked with a long time ago that would talk to himself in the office I worked at. Full blown conversations with himself. Didn't care if other people were present or not. Would go to the bathroom and tell himself jokes and laugh at them. Would wipe bloody boogers on the walls in the bathroom.

Got fired because he took a shit on the bathroom floor.
I actually talk to myself a bit at times. Not really conversations, just kind of working through chains of reasoning aloud, helps kind of keep me centered on whatever I'm working through when I'm at the point where my thoughts are starting to race (I'm terrible about trying to juggle a bunch of shit in a short period of time). Or chiding myself. I do that a lot, usually kind of under my breath. I do occasionally read my posts on the Internet aloud to myself to help me decide whether it's coming across in the fashion I want it to (or to make sure my diction is correct).

Thing is, moment someone notices I'm doing this and mentions as much I pretty much clam right the fuck up. This tends to result in more exceptional shit happening.
 

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
kiwifarms.net
I actually talk to myself a bit at times. Not really conversations, just kind of working through chains of reasoning aloud, helps kind of keep me centered on whatever I'm working through when I'm at the point where my thoughts are starting to race (I'm terrible about trying to juggle a bunch of shit in a short period of time). Or chiding myself. I do that a lot, usually kind of under my breath. I do occasionally read my posts on the Internet aloud to myself to help me decide whether it's coming across in the fashion I want it to (or to make sure my diction is correct).

Thing is, moment someone notices I'm doing this and mentions as much I pretty much clam right the fuck up. This tends to result in more exceptional shit happening.
Just don't shit on the floor and we're all good my dude.
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
Just don't shit on the floor and we're all good my dude.
Yeah that's pretty much anathema for me. Horrible neat freak/hygiene freak. Actually had a situation once at a job where someone had decided to leave a present on the seat of a men's room toilet and I kind of flipped out. Like, openly muttering about what kind of stupid sick fuck would leave that and walk away, getting that tic in my eye, that sort of shit.
 
Last edited:
  • Islamic Content
Reactions: Count groudon

*extremely mom voice*

captagon sweeties
kiwifarms.net
A lot of people get fired in the death industry. That's all I want to say about them, but I've seen a few come through.

If I could find their online hijinks I'd make threads on them, but they're usually trying to hide what they are so they can keep trying to get jobs at funeral home, etc.
Oh my god. I understand the death industry has this weird culture of silence going on, but if you have stories about someone trying to find their formadehyde waifu, then you should definitely share with the class. Please don't deprive us of this
 

desertfoxgoggles

try the wine
kiwifarms.net
Had a dude follow me to work in the early hours of the morning; attempted several different things to see if he was actually following me and it turned out he definitely was. (Changed up routes / speeds etc). Anyway, by the time I got to work and began waiting for my coworkers - he came and stood next to me. Began talking to me about random shit while getting closer and closer to me the entire time - dude's eyes were locked onto my boobs. There was nobody around and it was the first time ever that I've genuinely thought 'holy shit this guy's gonna attack me.' Luckily, my coworkers showed up. We watched back the camera footage and you can see him backing me into a corner while leering at me, every time I look away - he moves closer. Reaaaaaaaaaally weird.
Also an ex-cleaner who used to work at my work place. He'd make 'casual conversation' with me but it'd usually consist of him being a gross perv. Once he told me how he was a 'photographer' in his spare time and liked to take photos of naked goth girls. (I always get called gothic or punky despite not making an effort to look either). He backed me into one of our smaller rooms and told me how I'd 'be the perfect model' for a 'naked calendar shoot' and all of this other shit. Luckily my 6ft 5 odd boss came storming in asking him wtf he was doing.
I have so many more stories of creeps and it makes me pretty sad to think about - p sure I just attract weirdos ngl
 

Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
My high school best friend's stepdad was a real creeper. I'm 99% sure he was a pedophile not only based on what I'd seen but what a friend years later told me about him as well. She told me she cried when her mom married him because she disliked him so much. After the wedding there were five kids from all the different marriages living in the house and they were "poor" but somehow her mom and stepdad always had money for cigarettes, beer and cable. Her mom wasn't religious but her stepdad claimed to be, and despite drinking and watching porn in the family living room all the time (anytime he thought everyone else was in bed) he also never attended church but had yellowed, tattered notebook paper filled with Bible verses tacked all over the walls of the room where the family desktop computer was kept. He was the kind of person who was weird but then drank and was even weirder. He always tried to be nice but something was never right about him and my friend was fairly tight-lipped concerning the guy. He couldn't keep a job despite claiming to be a carpenter.

My best friend's younger sister was friends with a girl I worked with a few years after I graduated and told me he always insisted on hugging her a lot (she had giant breasts and a developed body.) The guy never asked me for a hug (thankfully.) I told the girl she should have refused since he made her uncomfortable but she said she didn't realize how weird it was until she was older and agreed with me that something about this guy was way off.
 

The Shadow

Pulp Enthusiast
kiwifarms.net
There was one time I met a guy on my first week of Community College, let’s call him “Sonicman”. Sonicman was a lanky, tall, Bengali-American majoring in acting. He was confirmed autistic by both himself and his mom and he LOOOOOVED Sonic. As in, the first time I met him and pointed out that Live and Learn was playing on his ipod, he gave me a cringy spiel about how Yuji Naka was a genius and how Sonic was amazing. Man himself was a nice guy, he was just a big autist who REEEEEALLY loved Sanic.
What's his KF account
 

Iceland Heavy

kiwifarms.net
When I had a security job at a campus police department there were a fair amount of tryhards but one guy stood out as a bit of an autistic weirdo that nobody liked. He had a CWC-esque autist speech impediment and was borderline incomprehensible in person let alone over the radio, sperged about comics, made weird attempts at humor and was also a petty dick lording over what little authority he had. The kind who'd kick students out of study rooms the second closing time came, and refuse to let people use the restrooms sometimes. He was also a bit too eager to volunteer personal information about himself and would often bring up his 'lady friend' who after some interrogation was really just a friend of his sister's he vaguely stalked. Most of the student employees went on to become cops or just moved on with their lives but he stayed on with the burnouts collecting employee benefits for years because he couldn't pass a hiring process at even the TSA until he tried enough times and did exhaustive research into their interview formats. Before that he kept getting put into increasingly more obscure positions and one of my coworkers would say he would never get outright fired because his mom was a lawsuit happy psycho but I don't know how true that was.
 

Hikikomori-Yume

kiwifarms.net
I was @ Taco Bell, just walked in, got in line ... then this disgusting hambeast crawls out from the women's restroom ... literally tries to cut in front of me, I refuse, it mumbles to itself "prick".
Ahaha, just think, there are millions of these creatures out there, getting triggered every day.
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
I was @ Taco Bell, just walked in, got in line ... then this disgusting hambeast crawls out from the women's restroom ... literally tries to cut in front of me, I refuse, it mumbles to itself "prick".
Ahaha, just think, there are millions of these creatures out there, getting triggered every day.
Yeah, you triggered that stupid sack of suet, but you're still eating at Taco Bell. Is it really a win?
 

tasty murder burger

If moths had eyes, would they be happier?
kiwifarms.net
When I had a security job at a campus police department there were a fair amount of tryhards but one guy stood out as a bit of an autistic weirdo that nobody liked. He had a CWC-esque autist speech impediment and was borderline incomprehensible in person let alone over the radio, sperged about comics, made weird attempts at humor and was also a petty dick lording over what little authority he had. The kind who'd kick students out of study rooms the second closing time came, and refuse to let people use the restrooms sometimes. He was also a bit too eager to volunteer personal information about himself and would often bring up his 'lady friend' who after some interrogation was really just a friend of his sister's he vaguely stalked. Most of the student employees went on to become cops or just moved on with their lives but he stayed on with the burnouts collecting employee benefits for years because he couldn't pass a hiring process at even the TSA until he tried enough times and did exhaustive research into their interview formats. Before that he kept getting put into increasingly more obscure positions and one of my coworkers would say he would never get outright fired because his mom was a lawsuit happy psycho but I don't know how true that was.
This reminded me of two creepy security guards, not the 'creepiest' people ever but still creepy:

1) first one appeared in my life at the same time as my above story in my pre-teen/early teen emo kid days. The mall security would either go hard on us for lurking about and spooking old people or give us some leeway because the group I hung with wasn't really troublesome. Nobody did anything reckless or illegal so they usually made sure we were okay. There was one guard who had an iPhone (back when iPhone's were rare creatures) and would show us his music collection on iTunes, he was cool if a bit weird. There was a legit creepy guard, this guy who would stand and talk to us for hours. At the time, we thought because he was youngish that he wasn't creepy and also because the iPhone guard was so nice that he was, too. He'd give us hugs and high fives and even, and I'm shuddering just thinking about this, gave us sweets. He got sacked, no idea why to this day but rumours are that it was because he was on the Sex Offenders Register. I met him again when I was sixteen when he started working at my local supermarket and he'd always talk to me when I entered the store and spoke to me about how 'cute' I was when I was 12. So fucking weird.

2) next one is a guy who was a security guard at the first mall I worked in. He was this older guy - baldy, tattoos, built like a fucking house. Typical security guard. In this mall, the guards would come to look around 2-3 a day, which annoyed my crazy boss like nothing else as it messed up the headcount. He'd always end up staying in for a bit and talking to everyone. Turns out his lady knew my work besties aunt thus he took a liking to her anytime he was in he started flirting with my work bestie and started talking about how he went with prostitutes, etc. He invited her to his 'secret flat' one day and when she refused he said it was a joke. She was 17 at the time and he was at least 50.

Me and a friend had to work on a group writing project in English about a year after said creepy security guard got sacked. We inserted him and iPhone guard into our English story and made them a gay couple who were unable to be together because of a dictator who banned gay relationships. I have no idea what happened in this story beyond the fact someone in it cut their thoat because they couldn't be gay and someone else stole a bulldozer - but it's probably better than most fan fiction around today. Our English teacher loved it surprisingly and raved to my mother about how clever it was at parents evening, despite the fact I think we were just trying to be edgy.
 

Tard Baby

The Codex of Ultimate Wisdom???
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This reminded me of two creepy security guards, not the 'creepiest' people ever but still creepy:

1) first one appeared in my life at the same time as my above story in my pre-teen/early teen emo kid days. The mall security would either go hard on us for lurking about and spooking old people or give us some leeway because the group I hung with wasn't really troublesome. Nobody did anything reckless or illegal so they usually made sure we were okay. There was one guard who had an iPhone (back when iPhone's were rare creatures) and would show us his music collection on iTunes, he was cool if a bit weird. There was a legit creepy guard, this guy who would stand and talk to us for hours. At the time, we thought because he was youngish that he wasn't creepy and also because the iPhone guard was so nice that he was, too. He'd give us hugs and high fives and even, and I'm shuddering just thinking about this, gave us sweets. He got sacked, no idea why to this day but rumours are that it was because he was on the Sex Offenders Register. I met him again when I was sixteen when he started working at my local supermarket and he'd always talk to me when I entered the store and spoke to me about how 'cute' I was when I was 12. So fucking weird.

2) next one is a guy who was a security guard at the first mall I worked in. He was this older guy - baldy, tattoos, built like a fucking house. Typical security guard. In this mall, the guards would come to look around 2-3 a day, which annoyed my crazy boss like nothing else as it messed up the headcount. He'd always end up staying in for a bit and talking to everyone. Turns out his lady knew my work besties aunt thus he took a liking to her anytime he was in he started flirting with my work bestie and started talking about how he went with prostitutes, etc. He invited her to his 'secret flat' one day and when she refused he said it was a joke. She was 17 at the time and he was at least 50.

Me and a friend had to work on a group writing project in English about a year after said creepy security guard got sacked. We inserted him and iPhone guard into our English story and made them a gay couple who were unable to be together because of a dictator who banned gay relationships. I have no idea what happened in this story beyond the fact someone in it cut their thoat because they couldn't be gay and someone else stole a bulldozer - but it's probably better than most fan fiction around today. Our English teacher loved it surprisingly and raved to my mother about how clever it was at parents evening, despite the fact I think we were just trying to be edgy.
You are officially one of the boys.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: tasty murder burger
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

We are on the Brave BAT program. Consider using Brave as your Browser. It's like Chrome but doesn't tell Google what you masturbate to.

BTC: 1EiZnCKCb6Dc4biuto2gJyivwgPRM2YMEQ
BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s
ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5
LTC: LcDkAj4XxtoPWP5ucw75JadMcDfurwupet
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino