Who was the creepiest person you've ever met IRL. -

Remove Goat

what're you gonna do bout it fag
kiwifarms.net
There was this one dude who tried to diddle me once at a Walmart then holed up in the bathroom when the cops came.

Think he was developmentally challenged.
 
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Iceland Heavy

kiwifarms.net
This reminded me of two creepy security guards, not the 'creepiest' people ever but still creepy:

1) first one appeared in my life at the same time as my above story in my pre-teen/early teen emo kid days. The mall security would either go hard on us for lurking about and spooking old people or give us some leeway because the group I hung with wasn't really troublesome. Nobody did anything reckless or illegal so they usually made sure we were okay. There was one guard who had an iPhone (back when iPhone's were rare creatures) and would show us his music collection on iTunes, he was cool if a bit weird. There was a legit creepy guard, this guy who would stand and talk to us for hours. At the time, we thought because he was youngish that he wasn't creepy and also because the iPhone guard was so nice that he was, too. He'd give us hugs and high fives and even, and I'm shuddering just thinking about this, gave us sweets. He got sacked, no idea why to this day but rumours are that it was because he was on the Sex Offenders Register. I met him again when I was sixteen when he started working at my local supermarket and he'd always talk to me when I entered the store and spoke to me about how 'cute' I was when I was 12. So fucking weird.

2) next one is a guy who was a security guard at the first mall I worked in. He was this older guy - baldy, tattoos, built like a fucking house. Typical security guard. In this mall, the guards would come to look around 2-3 a day, which annoyed my crazy boss like nothing else as it messed up the headcount. He'd always end up staying in for a bit and talking to everyone. Turns out his lady knew my work besties aunt thus he took a liking to her anytime he was in he started flirting with my work bestie and started talking about how he went with prostitutes, etc. He invited her to his 'secret flat' one day and when she refused he said it was a joke. She was 17 at the time and he was at least 50.

Me and a friend had to work on a group writing project in English about a year after said creepy security guard got sacked. We inserted him and iPhone guard into our English story and made them a gay couple who were unable to be together because of a dictator who banned gay relationships. I have no idea what happened in this story beyond the fact someone in it cut their thoat because they couldn't be gay and someone else stole a bulldozer - but it's probably better than most fan fiction around today. Our English teacher loved it surprisingly and raved to my mother about how clever it was at parents evening, despite the fact I think we were just trying to be edgy.
This guy was thankfully mostly just more of a weird asshole than a borderline pedophile. Who knows though, his 'lady friend' probably has some creepy stories.
 

LMR365

Nicolas Cage holding a birthday cake.
kiwifarms.net
Knew some fat guy who got caught watching gay porn on his PC in the school for exceptional children. lol

Then he fell in love with me and I just nearly try to stab him to death. Almost. He, later on, move on from school after he turns 21. I think I may hug him a bit but only to petty him. To this day? I don't know if he still loves gay porn. But he's probably watching me in his dreams rubbing his smol pee pee. OUCH! I got more shit about my old schools but I won't use real names or what parts they live in as they probably don't wanna be known as that guy who is trying (and failing) to become a YouTube star. Also, another reason why using your real name even on sites outside Facebook is a bad idea if you wanna be the government's next hitman list. Shameful!

I know this story is short? But yes, there was a gay guy in my school and he was just too nice and dumb. Hope he finds some lucky guy to fuck. But given he is Indian. (Not Merica but India guy) They probably tell him to marry a woman so he doesn't get cucked by Clown World.

I have another story on a guy who is an anime fan. But unlike morons like Chris Chan and the others. He doesn't use social media to fuck himself over. (Thankfully) and was raised smart not to be an ass or an idiot. But he's like a chicken with autism so I can't feel sorry for him given he is an adult now. But? At least he's going to have lots of free time getting into more anime and probably going into anime cons. Yeah, my school was an ED school but for some reason? Had a few anime fans there. (Back in my later years of high school? I was in the phase of being a big chicken and cuck.) But just like emos moving on from their BS. I change too. For the better or worse? Meh!
 
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tasty murder burger

If moths had eyes, would they be happier?
kiwifarms.net
This guy was thankfully mostly just more of a weird asshole than a borderline pedophile. Who knows though, his 'lady friend' probably has some creepy stories.
Oh yeah defo, the age of consent here is 16 and I'm assuming he thought she was 18+ and not a Saturday girl in a shop but it is still mega creepy. Pretty sure there was tales of other girls in the mall being hit on by him as well - so freaky.
 

Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
I worked with a guy in a small office who was okay most of the time but I caught him looking at porn on his work computer three times. The manager really liked him and the company was in a bit of trouble financially at one point so I decided not to say anything, figuring the manager would fire me and keep him and I really needed the job at the time. Aside from that he never really did anything to bother me personally (aside from the time I was on the phone and he put a paper in front of me and whispered "Make me a copy of this. Now." and kept tapping the paper. He wasn't allowed to talk to me like that so I just laughed quietly and he walked away and I made it at my own convenience later.)

He told me about the time he did heroin in New York and almost fell out of a window, and talked about how 'awesome' it was. Sometimes when I was on calls he would put a cigarette in his nose and try to make me laugh (which usually worked.)

One day I'd just gone through a breakup and he asked me what was wrong and really listened to me talk about the whole thing and was surprisingly nice to me. After I finished telling the story he said, "You know what would make that guy really mad? Seeing you out on a date with me." The guy was around 30 years older than me and I'm still not sure if he really meant it or was just trying to make me feel better. We kept in touch shortly after I was fired and he offered to help me improve my photography (that was his job and my hobby) but much like asking me on the date it only happened once and was kind of ambiguous. We lost touch after that. A little creepy but he was just odd more than anything.
 
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Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
I worked with a guy in a small office who was okay most of the time but I caught him looking at porn on his work computer three times. The manager really liked him and the company was in a bit of trouble financially at one point so I decided not to say anything, figuring the manager would fire me and keep him and I really needed the job at the time. Aside from that he never really did anything to bother me personally (aside from the time I was on the phone and he put a paper in front of me and whispered "Make me a copy of this. Now." and kept tapping the paper. He wasn't allowed to talk to me like that so I just laughed quietly and he walked away and I made it at my own convenience later.)

He told me about the time he did heroin in New York and almost fell out of a window, and talked about how 'awesome' it was. Sometimes when I was on calls he would put a cigarette in his nose and try to make me laugh (which usually worked.)

One day I'd just gone through a breakup and he asked me what was wrong and really listened to me talk about the whole thing and was surprisingly nice to me. After I finished telling the story he said, "You know what would make that guy really mad? Seeing you out on a date with me." The guy was around 30 years older than me and I'm still not sure if he really meant it or was just trying to make me feel better. We kept in touch shortly after I was fired and he offered to help me improve my photography (that was his job and my hobby) but much like asking me on the date it only happened once and was kind of ambiguous. We lost touch after that. A little creepy but he was just odd more than anything.
Looking at porn on company time and equipment is a bit exceptional. Beyond that he comes across as a guy who doesn't know how to appear confident, assertive etc. without being bossy, creepy and so on. Probably kind of an awkward fucktard without much talent for what helps you move through and take charge of social situations. Not really malevolent maybe, but doesn't have the right tools in his toolbox.
 

cuddle striker

please wait what is your genotype
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Oh my god. I understand the death industry has this weird culture of silence going on, but if you have stories about someone trying to find their formadehyde waifu, then you should definitely share with the class. Please don't deprive us of this
we had a guy come through (teaching hospital) who was aiming to work in funeral home industry. you can come to learn autopsy procedures at (this place) and I was involved in those classes. he was...off. (only about half of the people coming through are med students; the rest are looking to go into private industry/a family business being handed down/elected coroner positions etc)

unwashed, overtired, and a little weird, those are really common in students who do this particular course, since it is an overnight on-call thing, and often we are working in the wee hours. so those traits didn't set him apart from other people there. it was the look in his eyes when he asked questions. is purge acidic? will it burn your skin if you rubbed it on?

(purge is the mix of fluids that leak from a corpse. it's slang really- each orifice produces a different slurry of horror, but we often just say "purge" to refer to any. he asked about both oral and vaginal purge.)

then we are missing tools. all tools are counted and accounted for at the end of working- if he is there, something's missing. just a coincidence, right?

he finished our short course and I lost track of him. I know he is probably working in a funeral home by now- those places are extremely sensitive to this stuff, though. if someone "interferes with" a corpse, and word gets out, they're going to lose money. there's a LOT of money to be made in funerals. so they watch people closely.

he's probably on pickup duty. on call, picking up dead people to bring up the home, never by himself with a corpse. this is a starting position, guys like this usually can't fake their way past it.

women on the other hand are more likely to actually get into a position where they're able to disturb the dead. and they do. there was a small interdepartmental scandal in (nearby big city) recently when a pathologist was fired, sorry, "laid off", because she was found in a very compromising position with a corpse. this was kept within the department, of course, except for administration, and the only people who will ever know it happened are potential employers who call for a reference for a job that would put her in contact with bodies without direct supervision.

it's almost like a blacklist. yeah the entire industry won't talk about it to media or outsiders (with a few remarkable exceptions) but basically they'll never work in the field again, even though it's not legal to talk shit on someone if you're used as a reference, what are they gonna do? complain that you told people they're a necrophile? doubt it. they hide it and hope word won't get around, or that they can move and it went catch up to them.

the weirdest guy that came through where I work was really fixated on eye decomp. usually something like that is a research interest, someone working on a paper or simply keeping notes for future reference in work. but this guy was pleased to the point of opening the eyes/checking on the eyes of any body he was in a room with- in a dissection lab, walking up to other people's specimens and poking and prodding at the eyes (occasionally without gloves). he was dropped from whatever program he was in. again, he is probably now working on the periphery of the industry.

I've been doing this as a secondary career a long time and as the Day Job not quite as long, and I'd say I meet someone who should not be working in this field at least once or twice a year, if not more. I do travel a bit, working, too so I suppose I'm meeting a few more people than someone working in a local funeral home, but still. Even one is too many.


eta: we've also had a really sketchy security guard who was alone in the storage area for hours at a time, but I later realized he was just a tweaker, because it was graveyard shift work. no pun intended.
 

*extremely mom voice*

captagon sweeties
kiwifarms.net
disturb the dead
:story:
That's a hell of a euphemism there my dude

If anyone can come up with something creepier than "necrophile obsessed with eye decomposition" then let's hear it, because otherwise this guy wins.

With regards to the pathologist, I have a theory that female sex creeps are more common than a lot of people realize, but they're just more cautious and better at hiding their obsessions, and are less likely to get caught. Sounds like corpsefucker lady just got unlucky. You have to admire the dedication, though--doesn't it take like eight years of school to become a pathologist?
 

Sprig of Parsley

kiwifarms.net
:story:
That's a hell of a euphemism there my dude

If anyone can come up with something creepier than "necrophile obsessed with eye decomposition" then let's hear it, because otherwise this guy wins.

With regards to the pathologist, I have a theory that female sex creeps are more common than a lot of people realize, but they're just more cautious and better at hiding their obsessions, and are less likely to get caught. Sounds like corpsefucker lady just got unlucky. You have to admire the dedication, though--doesn't it take like eight years of school to become a pathologist?
She-pervs get handwaved and excused a lot in general.

I'll be honest I really, really don't get necrophilia. I can kind of grok a lot of weird crap but necrophilia is an express trip into Wutdafukistan.
 

Yolandi

Resident Pokemon Go expert
kiwifarms.net
Speaking of she-pervs - there was a woman that called when I was working retail and asked if we sold wide wooden hair brushes because she wanted to spank her girlfriend for wearing short shorts out of the house. She went into a great deal of detail and I finally had to stop her and tell her she was making me uncomfortable, very creepy.

And I didn't talk to this person but there was a woman who notoriously called one of my other jobs multiple times and asked if they sold little girls dresses that were low enough to show their nipples and a manager talked to her and chewed her out. I was told about this because she said I needed to know in case the woman called again (but she never did.)
 

Guts Gets Some

"Sword=cock" -Susumu Hirasawa
kiwifarms.net
Keep in mind, at the time, I had no idea what these places actually were.

I was walking close to my house in an alleyway behind some shops. I love finding cool stuff to resell that people throw out. Don't remember what I found that day, but I tried to gauge which shop exactly it was behind. It was an Asian massage place.

I walk in, and of course the older woman who barely speaks English comes right out, grabbing me instantly. The only words she knows are "Want massage?" And I have to all but push her back and try just to calmly ask if that thing I found in the alley was hers. (Good luck).

At the time, I was wondering what the hell was up with her odd behavior; she was desperate to give me a massage. I had to just leave and assume the object belonged to no one.

And after finding out what those places really are..... yeah, it made a lot more sense.
 
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Heinrich Himmler

Reichsführer-ᛋᛋ und Chef der Kiwi Polizei
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If we have talk about she pervs, I had a female schoolmate who was like me, an history sperg, especially for WWII.
We clicked on a lot of stuff, especially our interest in the secret polices.
The difference was that mine was standard the sperging, but she obviously had a wet on for the soviet polices, from the Cêka to the NKVD, to the KGB.
She bragged how her grandfather was an NKVD agent who after WWII purged and tortured lots of his fellow citizens (note - here the Soviets are seen pretty much like the Nazis, if not worse. Communist apology is illegal here.).
One day she turned up with photocopies of official documents of tortures/interrogatories a joint Gestapo/NKVD talk force made, with graphical details about the "physical persuasions".
By the way she was over them, I believe she even masturbated while reading them.
After the school, she wanted to become a policewoman.....
 

Tard Baby

The Codex of Ultimate Wisdom???
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If we have talk about she pervs, I had a female schoolmate who was like me, an history sperg, especially for WWII.
We clicked on a lot of stuff, especially our interest in the secret polices.
The difference was that mine was standard the sperging, but she obviously had a wet on for the soviet polices, from the Cêka to the NKVD, to the KGB.
She bragged how her grandfather was an NKVD agent who after WWII purged and tortured lots of his fellow citizens (note - here the Soviets are seen pretty much like the Nazis, if not worse. Communist apology is illegal here.).
One day she turned up with photocopies of official documents of tortures/interrogatories a joint Gestapo/NKVD talk force made, with graphical details about the "physical persuasions".
By the way she was over them, I believe she even masturbated while reading them.
After the school, she wanted to become a policewoman.....
That's my girlfriend.
 
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