Who was your first LOLcow? -

(not) y2k compliant

kiwifarms.net
Was familiar with KF when it was new and lurked it every now and then, but never signed up and just got most of my CWC news from the wiki for a long time.
When the shit started to hit the fan HARD with Shmorky I finally signed up. From the looks of it, Shmorky brought quite a few people here.
 
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Shokew

Trial by Fire! Trial by Fire!
kiwifarms.net
I forgot to add Entard, PhantomCrybaby, and just about all of their cartoon "comminity" ilk to my list. My list of HALALCats, that is.

Seriously though - fuck each and every one of these losers for having their invisible, yet disgusting selves, quietly infecting my all-time favorite medium (of Western animation) with their constantly embarrassing and outright pathetic SJWBS.
 

break these cuffs

The weak should fear the strong
kiwifarms.net
Too long ago to remember. It was one of the old school ones like JDR, Gonterman, Jonah Falcon, Matty Moullton, etc. The first and only one I ever saw in real life was Derek. It was unexpected and surreal.
 

Double Dee

IT'S THE COMPROMISE OF THE APOCALYPSE!!!
kiwifarms.net
Aside from Chris, my first one was Alex Muholland.
TL;DR: quit screaming that you can't fuck it, kid.

The first one that got me to the Farms was IDCP, about when she came to the forums.
 

LordofCringe7206

kiwifarms.net
A lot of the members of the original, old school YoTube atheist community from back in the late 2000's. Cow culture hadn't really taken off quite yet, but looking back a lot of them were cows.

Some of the bigger ones like The Amazing Atheist and Brett Keane have threads here. It's a shame Kiwi Farms didn't exist in its current form back then, because we would easily be filled with dozens of threads on these people.
 
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Lissamine Green

Spiteful Chicken Eater
kiwifarms.net
"Emi" nee Shinsuke Koyama, a troon ahead of his time in exceptionalism. Honestly I'm somewhat surprised he has no mentions at all on this site, as he was very busy online for years.
 

Kheapathic

Weebs and Wall Runs
kiwifarms.net
DarkSydePhil.

Would run into his stupidity on shoryuken and FGC IRC's. He acted exceptional then, but was nothing like he is now.
 

Nykysnottrans

Repeat after me: I am beautiful.
kiwifarms.net
The first lolcow I ever encountered was a guy with the alias T. Iamatus K. UtulUUUUUUUUS!!!!11 on the alt.rock-n-roll.metal.metallica newsgroup on usenet. He trolled all the guitarists in that newsgroup and other heavy metal newsgroups with posts such as this:

Subject: Re: What exactly is a "riff"?
Date: 1999/05/08
Newsgroups: alt.rock-n-roll.metal.metallica

On Sat, 8 May 1999 14:43:48 -0400 (EDT), GrandP...@webtv.net
(Michael Ereon) wrote:

>Ive never understood what it meant, so can anyone explain it to me and
>give an example from a Metallica song?

A guitar line, or something. Take
that catchy Enter Sandman thingy.
You know, the thing that goes "DUUUUUH DUH DUH DUH DUH!! DUH DUUH DUH
DUH DUH!! DUH DUUUUUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUUUH!!!!!". That's an
example of a riff.

I Have Spoken Now Bitch!!!11!!1!


This was his signature under every usenet post promoting his Silence of the Sheep website making fun of Metallica fans:

--------------------------------

DO YOU LIKE METALLICA??? DO YOU HATE METALLICA??? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF METALLICA??

PERFECT!!!!!

THEN CHECK OUT THE SILENCE OF THE SHEEP WEBSITE, THE NEWEST, RAWEST, MOST DISGUSTING ANTI METALLICA SITE EVER!!
LEARN THE SHOCKING TRUTH BEHIND METALLICA'S GAYNESS AND SELLOUT SCHEMES!!


GO THERE NOW!!!

---------------------------------

(let's see the sheep whine NOW! BWAHAHAHHA!!)
 
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Nykysnottrans

Repeat after me: I am beautiful.
kiwifarms.net
There were a whole bunch of them on usenet, 20 years ago
I just posted about a legendary usenet lolcow who was my first lolcow. So glad someone else here remembers all those usenet trolls. Remember that Christian guy who had targeted a suicidal young woman in one of the pro-choice suicide newsgroups? I forgot his name unfortunately, but he would definitely be considered a horrorcow by today's standards.

Back when LiveJournal was all the rage, sometime around 200
OMG, the LiveJournal lolcows. Another black chapter in the history book of online lolcows. ED would've been be a lot leaner if it weren't for all of them.
 
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Coelacanth

Your local shitposting living fossil.
kiwifarms.net
Other than Chris? Probably MichaelDragon800 and Guptil89 waaaay back in the day when BlackBusterCritic was the bane of the Sonic fandom. My god how things've changed since then.
 
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2al

kiwifarms.net

Cheeseman

Secret Agent Randy Beans
kiwifarms.net
not a singular cow but my first real introduction to crazy people online was cannibal cafe and since then i have a particular weakness for communities when they spawn multiple lolcows.
 

Crichax

On Indefinite KF Hiatus
kiwifarms.net
Other than Chris? Probably MichaelDragon800 and Guptil89 waaaay back in the day when BlackBusterCritic was the bane of the Sonic fandom. My god how things've changed since then.
BBC still holds up today, TBH. The first lolcow I interacted with (before I even knew what the term meant) was Matthew Schroeder from VS Battle Wiki. I sent my ideas in for revising several VS profiles, and while some of them were terrible, Schroeder did reject my valid idea about making Sephiroth's profile have two separate keys (look at a VS Battle Wiki profile to see what I mean), with one based on his power level if his Supernova feat was legit, and another based on one where it was assumed to be an outlier. While VS Battle Wiki treats some universes fairly, the mods have an infamous reputation for thinking Undertale characters can destroy universes somehow, and wank (act like a verse is more powerful than it is) a ton of Undertale characters.
 
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The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

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