Who would win in a head-to-head election? Brianna or Sargon? - Whoever wins, we lose

If you had to choose:

  • John

    Votes: 34 11.3%
  • Carl

    Votes: 95 31.5%
  • Deez Nuts

    Votes: 159 52.6%
  • Laura "Tumor" Loomer

    Votes: 14 4.6%

  • Total voters


I'm going to go with the one that has never called a group of people a bunch of "white niggers". Because that's instant disqualification, despite everything that's wrong with John Flynt.

Congratulations Carl, not only is Zoe technically a better game dev than you (despite being a shitty game dev herself), Brianna Wu is a more palatable politician than you (despite being off-putting as hell).
No Wu has never used the term "white niggers" but Wu HAS used the term "sand nigger" while directly referring to one of the professors he had or something. Im not going to go through 3000 pages to try to find it though im sure someone here can. But id say that kinda seems less palatable and worse overall if you're just going to judge based on who used the nigger word worse.


t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!
Both are utter imbeciles but Sargon is slightly better at hiding this fact.
I'm not so sure, all John would have to do is run adds with the "white niggers" on loop.


Sargon would definitely win, he's mastered the art of appearing smart to normies. Wu is a complete fucking idiot and anyone can see that.
  • Optimistic
Reactions: polonium


True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
I think John would win because Carl would go out of his way to be an obnoxious shit and John would be a complete victim.

It'd really depend on where the race was, though. They're both reprehensible, but John is both much dumber and more politically correct, even if it's pure spinelessness. I think Carl would win in a very right wing area and John would win in a very left wing area, and in between, it would be a crap shoot.


Depending on where they run, but normally the "anyone but Carl Benjamin"-vote should be enough to give Bri the victory. Most people here overestimate how large reach John actually has because we read every single tweet down to the letter. In pure publicity Carl should win, and since they are both retards whoever wins is the one that get the least of their message out to the public.

Radical Goodspeed

I'm assuming some kind of US office, one with national visibility, and in a mildly relevant district, one where party leadership and donors might have a vested interest rather than trying to bury a race between two mouth breathing man-children.

Wu would have to try really hard to lose the lead Carl would give him once the outrage media shitstorm began and Carl doubles down thinking he'll win through emulating Trump without having Trump's brand to back him up.

Magic Sun Daddy

Get on the ball, bitch.
If I were forced to choose between who I'd consider to be the lesser of two evils I would say Carl. But the fact is, Brianna has never said anything that would give the press incentive to rake her over the coals. She the shit that comes out of her mouth is objectively stupid and inaccurate 99% of the time but it isn't anything that you wouldn't hear from any other dipshit in the DNC. If she actually knew how to run an effective campaign, there's a fair chance that she'd acquire a decenting following over time.

Carl on the other hand has spent much of his career putting his foot in his mouth while also doing all he could to provoke and antagonize the media. He thinks that he's using Trump's tactics, but Trump had the sense to walk back statements when he knew there was nothing to gain from standing by them. Carl refuses to do so and as edgy as his fans claim to be, no one wants to be known as the guy who voted for Carl the 0.1% Black, White Nigger Hating, Pedophile Sympathizer and Rape Apologist.
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Reactions: polonium


Into a crackleen, gulpeen swamp, and sank.
True & Honest Fan
I think John would win because he has money from Frank. Things aren't looking good for Carl's finances these days.

Also, John is four feet taller than Carl, and would unhinge his mandibles and devour him at the debate.


I miss the time when the show was good
So...does it include all their skeletons being known or not

Gordon Cole

Yep, he's dead
True & Honest Fan

Time to add a fourth option to the poll.

Canine with Fangs

He/Him, Plural (2 headmates), Bi, Aro, Ecofacist
Depends. If we're starting with a clean slate, Sargon wins ten times out of ten. His idiocy is a slow burn, and if you only have a 2 minute impression of him, he can actually come across as a functional human a decent chunk of the time, while Wu is a horrible goblin that instantly earns the ire of anyone who sees him.

If we're allowing dredging up sound bites though, I'd say Wu has the advantage, because "white niggers" and "depends on the child" on tape is a pretty powerful weapon.