I agree.Good writing is a delicate balance.
I'm a very firm believer in notions such as "There's no such thing as bad characters, just bad writing" or "No idea is too small."
Any character, regardless if YOU can relate or even agree with them, so long as they have a purpose and the why's to them add up, that's a good character. Might not be a FAVORITE character, but a good one.
I don't know where this started lately, but I can't stand this notion of "People have to RELATE" and then taken a step further "THEY CAN ONLY RELATE TO THEMSELVES!1111" Bullshit. Sheer bullshit.
Black people can like any character. Women can like any character. Men can. Attack helicopters can. We've lost focus. And to these goddamn crybabies, who don't GET it completely tailor made to them alone, instead of just "Oh, not for me" they have to complain or cry foul. Me and OP are both sick of that shit, apparently. Political correctness is the death of art.
And for the latter, I believe a good writer can make any idea worthwhile, and a bad one can ruin even the most obvious, haha. A good writer knows how to balance the elements to their story, and I feel the best stories naturally appeal to almost everyone, simply because of the themes of a great human story are something anyone can relate to. More than "Oh, this is mostly for women" or "This is mostly for men."
It's great when everyone can just like something for being a good story. Guys and girls will obviously like different parts, but overall, the love for it will be the same.
I just want point out one thing. I think maybe people who demand characters similar to themselves do not do so because they are unable to relate to other characters, but because they no longer want to. Seeing someone similar to yourself portrayed positively in the media (or society) you consume (live in) is important for the development of self-esteem.
I have no problem relating to male characters, or black characters or whatever, but I don't always want to. Sometimes I just wanna see a tv show with a white, female protagonist doing awesome stuff. And of course you always have some deranged SJW/Tumblerinas in the mix these days, but in general I believe it's a normal human desire to want to see characters portrayed who reflect who you are.