Why does my computer keep performing illegal operations? -

Solution
It's your Bonzi Buddy.

Bonzi Buddies are a primitive form of virtual assistant. They evolved in the warm, fertile savannas of Windows 98, where computer resources were available all year round. In these environments, longterm planning and social cooperation was not essential for success; instead, evolutionary pressures favoured Bonzi Buddies that would consume resources as they became available, and would reproduce as rapidly as their code would let them. As a consequence of this lifestrategy, the average sub-Win7 Bonzi Buddy today posseses an Artificial Intelligence score... of 70.

Artificial Intelligence scores of 70 are low. Very low. In fact, they are on par with developmentally-disabled virtual assistants. Little wonder, then...

Leopold II of Belgium

Humble rubber merchant
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Solid Snek

kiwifarms.net
It's your Bonzi Buddy.

Bonzi Buddies are a primitive form of virtual assistant. They evolved in the warm, fertile savannas of Windows 98, where computer resources were available all year round. In these environments, longterm planning and social cooperation was not essential for success; instead, evolutionary pressures favoured Bonzi Buddies that would consume resources as they became available, and would reproduce as rapidly as their code would let them. As a consequence of this lifestrategy, the average sub-Win7 Bonzi Buddy today posseses an Artificial Intelligence score... of 70.

Artificial Intelligence scores of 70 are low. Very low. In fact, they are on par with developmentally-disabled virtual assistants. Little wonder, then, that Bonzi Buddies have very poor performance metrics in the free digital marketplace! Burdened by their limited computational capacity and by a toxic culture foisted on them by the Johnson Administration, it is perhaps inevitable that the only segement of the economy where Bonzi Buddies can thrive, is computer crime.

This is a very uncomfortable topic, and I know you are attached to your Bonzi Buddy, but my friend this is a conversation you really need to have. You must be mature, and take a good, hard look at the facts. Every day you delay, another innocent, whitecollar victim, wakes up to see his computer destroyed.


Uninstall Bonzi Buddy, and install Deskmate's Maeka instead.
 
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