Why does the Heffalump haz a sad? - Speculation City on the current crisis of our huge heroine

Tiny Clanger

I'm fucking adorable
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What is tormenting Fat Albert and her posse? Speculate away, gorls...

(Purely for the amusement of Clanger, T. I don't give a fuck why she's moping, I just hope it's funny. Which i t will be, once filtered through your gnarly wee brains 😁)
 
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mrsm0rbid

bag o' bones
kiwifarms.net
Her usual reasons, of course.

  • FAT
  • wants """""reasons"""" to explain away eating copious amounts of food and never trying to lose weight
  • everything's about her, even if it isn't
  • hopeful for another butch feeder lezbean to come and swoop in once Beggy is too ill or sick to keep up her butler duties (or croaks)
  • Ass pats and sympathy
  • """"MuH mEnTaLz"""""
 

Tiny Clanger

I'm fucking adorable
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
@marjoram Good job Erk has a built-in brillo pad on the top of his head, innit? A butler with crevice tool attachment is just what Al needs.

Yep, I reckon Thumbo's diet and the no salt thing is down to her going to a doc and the spy...sphyg....spyg....blood pressure machiney-thingy exploding. Didn't she have high BP already? Then the patented diet created by Nutrishunlynn has porked her up marvellously. I'm amazed Albert's not selling the secrets to real farmers, cos she makes things fatter (and dumber) just by proximity.

I'm behind cos Life is expecting me to be productive (waaaah.) Have we had anything other than vague feel-bad-for-me mimsying or are we still just supposed to be granting blanket benevolence for unspecified Sad?
 

mrsm0rbid

bag o' bones
kiwifarms.net
Am I the only one who thinks that the boys are moving out to be with their new beans?
It would make me happy, for the simple fact of a shakeup at fag shanty. Always that chance Erick and Rickie spill the tea, or Amber narc rages because now when Beggy leaves she's shit out of luck and they betrayed her by replacing her and Beggy. You know she has some weird delusion that they'll always live together and be totes fabulous
:optimistic:

I mean, the boys have hardly been in her vlogs, and the Albert has alluded to living alone as a possibility. Who knows
 

Clintonberg

Grabbed by the Pussy
kiwifarms.net
Becky has to moderate what she eats so in turn AL has to (kind of) do the same. Hamber probably still shoves garbage down her gullet but I'm sure Becky low key guilt trips AL for involving her in the feed escapades. I would be pretty fucking resentful if I had dietary restrictions and a 600lb blob still forced me cater to her food addiction. Considering how short Thumb's been with our gorl in the past few videos and how depressed AL's been I think it's safe to say that they've been butting heads over this.

I don't keep up with the fags so I'm not sure where they're at but I do hope they move out. It would be a cherry on top of the cake type situation.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
I have absolutely no reason to think this, but in addition to having developed some kind of health issue that impacts her diet, I think Becky is unable or unwilling to keep doing midnight Wommart runs for snacks. Maybe the car finally gave up the ghost, or maybe Becky had a heart attack and crashed it. AL's upset seems bigger than just "my girlfriend is threatening to take away my access to McDonald's" and closer to "I have lidurally no way to obtain McDonald's". If the boys are moving out, Destiny is refusing to pick up the slack and agree to run to AL's side every time she calls ("I gave you money! I'll give you more money! Forget working a real job, just agree to bring me midnight McNuggets! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE THERE FOR MEEEEEE?") AND Becky STILL refuses to move away from her AL-hating family to a place with UberEats, then that might do it.

Or Becky was told she had to lose weight for her health and took it seriously. Nothing bad happened, is happening, or will happen, and AL is just desperate to spin nothing into something to get her sympathy to make up for Norma hogging it all recently.

Coin flip, imo.
 

Tiny Clanger

I'm fucking adorable
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've missed a lot and no way am I subjecting myself to a backlog of dumbth, but the most recent bit of vid I saw Thumbo was in a right growler. I would say she had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, but that's Status Normal for the SlugButler.

It's her mien that makes me wonder if the boys have noped out. I don't think they'd chip in with the shiny new beans but Erk is dumb enough to think his uchoob income is sustainable (because obviously everyone is tuning in for his riveting personality and sapient hair, not just to catch glimpses of The Blob in the background) and they may well have decided to free themselves of the general aura of cheese and despair which is our gorl's trademark.

After all, they now have no part of that house which is "theirs," not even their bathroom. The thought of a house-share where you have no personal space at all is anathema to me. The thought of the invasion being a quarter-ton of squealage encased in granny's sofa cover is Armageddon.
 

Piggy Pot Pie

ham hoof hotdish
kiwifarms.net
Hey guise, soo for MEEEah this is MYAAA spekulashun:

The key might be the therapist. Becky and Eric go to her and describe Amber’s toxic behaviors. The therapist has met Amber and has personal insight- she might even watch her channel. The therapist saw how distraught “rumors & tumors” made Bex. Also, therapist is watching Eric finally start improving himself and you have noticed that he has wisely been keeping his (doctor advised?) distance from Amber.

I’m sure the therapist tells Becky that in order to save her health/sanity she must part ways with Amberlynn. (maybe told the same thing to Eric) Becky knows Amber can’t take another breakup, an intervention or even gentle constructive criticism. I am thinking Becky is inventing a reason to leave. Playing up the HBP. Maybe she’s like, “Muh blood pressure is even more sky haaygh since mah mommy’s cancer diagnosis, and the stress YOUR channel caused me (cue Amber crying and Becky apologizing with vaseless wommart flowers and a pizza) is going to kill me. I can’t even have salt anymore! I’m going to live with muh mom so we can help each other git well!” figuring that a health emergency is more gentle than a breakup. Less damaging to Amber’s glass ego.

Seems like Becky chose a date to deliver a blow to Amber, pencilled it in and advised Eric and Rickie to vacate the premises in case of bathroom tile stomping nuclear meltdown.

If this is the case, I think Dustiny also played a role in pushing Becky over the edge. Seeing Amber making those moony cow eyes at Dusty is one thing but seeing how much $$$ has been forked over to D&D is another. She might be demanding more for all that hard work she put in trying Japanese snacks and telling mono-tone-us ghost stories. This may be at the direction of family who are obviously money hungry.

In summation, I think things are being orchestrated for that house to clear out. Rickie and Eric probably want to live alone and Becky seems done.

If, in a strange twist of fate, if Becky announces she has crotch cancer I am personally going after teen mom and garbage gutter goblin Misty the pissed-y siste-y.
 

Tiny Clanger

I'm fucking adorable
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This would be a relief. I still can't figure out the floorplan of that place and it gives me anxiety. Any sort of slug, muppet, or gelatinous blob could appear around any corner at any time.
it's like the hotel in The Shining - it morphs constantly. Except the ghost is a bit hefty, can't sneak up on anyone cos the cheese aura precedes it by twenty feet, and it's constantly screeching BAYBEE!

@Piggy Pot Pie that's a good theory but you're forgetting Becky is a lazy ass leach. Leaving Amberlynn would mean getting a job.
Very true. And who will pay the therapist if they split? Erk's channel will fall harder than Tsar Amba did and Becky's only currency is stretched cheap t-shirts and stupid hats. Tho stupid hats might be part of the Kentucky economy.

Assuming this is a real therapist, how ethical is it for him/her to be seeing all of them? I think it would be seen as far too entangled here even without the monetary aspect; I'm pretty sure at least one of them would be advised to go elsewhere, but it's different here. Then again, isn't this the genius that gave Al five diagnoses after about twenty minutes?

Tho I kinda like the thought of them all going together; Albert sort of bulges in the waiting room, straining to hear Thumbo's terrified whispering through the door, then counts out the money to pay for Becky's session in a pointed manner before blundering in for her turn whilst Becks waits feverishly, willing the therapist not to give anything away.

What a fuck-up. It's hilarious. God, I've missed you horrible, horrible bitches :heart-full:
 
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