Why is Phil actually in the hospital? - Place your bets

[Ol' Slag]

There seems to be alot of speculation on why Phil is in the hospital. I listed all the ones I could think of or heard that sound plausible.

If you have any other ideas, post them here.

 

[DragoonSierra]

no tattoo infection option? really?

 

[Ol' Slag]

no tattoo infection option? really?

Fixed.

 

[Cubanodun]

The lack of "he chimped out like a autistic horny monkey so he has to be sedated" offends me

 

[Haunter]

Wasn't it suggested earlier that Phil probably stocked up on hospital pictures when he was there recently? I'd maybe include that in the poll, if that's not outright the best explanation for the pictures

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Toren arsefucked him so hard that he caused a rip in his intestines.

 

[break these cuffs]

Binaural soundbeat induced spontaneous vaginal formation. He finally got a leg down, if you will, on his arch nemesis Christine Chandler.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

I'm gonna go with Jaundice, but I'd like to add the bottom option has basically been proven. He's not currently there any more according to the records.

 

[Ol' Slag]

I'm gonna go with Jaundice, but I'd like to add the bottom option has basically been proven. He's not currently there any more according to the records.

To be fair, it has been stated in one of the other threads that there is a possibility to opt out of an online search.

Also, when will I get a chance to write sangria shit drink with all sincerity again?

 

[Angry New Ager]

I think he drank two bottles of laxative, shit his guts out, ended up incredibly miserable and dehydrated, and went to the ER. Whether he told the ER staff that he had intentionally consumed the laxative solution, or decided to pretend he had some unknown illness (which would guarantee him at least one night's hospitalization), I don't know, but suspect the latter.

But yeah, he's intentionally made a complete waste of health care resources on the taxpayers' dime, just so he could play out his one-man GRS RPG.

 

[break these cuffs]

I think he's actually there this weekend because he uploaded a video of him watching the hospital tv and pretending to be stoned on marijuana cigarettes shortly after people began talking in thread about how looped out he'd be on med's after surgery. He had uploaded what amounts to the same video earlier with perfectly coherent spudtalk.

 

[Angry New Ager]

I think he's actually there this weekend because he uploaded a video of him watching the hospital tv and pretending to be stoned on marijuana cigarettes shortly after people began talking in thread about how looped out he'd be on med's after surgery. He'd uploaded what amounts to the same video earlier with perfectly coherent spudtalk.

This, totally. Here's the post you mentioned, that catches him in his lie.

 

[Positron]

I think he's actually there this weekend because he uploaded a video of him watching the hospital tv and pretending to be stoned on marijuana cigarettes shortly after people began talking in thread about how looped out he'd be on med's after surgery. He had uploaded what amounts to the same video earlier with perfectly coherent spudtalk.

Can you post these videos? For some reason they don't show up on my side.

 

[break these cuffs]

Can you post these videos? For some reason they don't show up on my side.

They don't show up on his tumblr for me either. JSGOTI embedded mirrors in the post that Angry New Ager ninjaed you on.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

Phil is there to get a lightbulb he shoved up his butt removed.

Phil told the doctor that he "Fell" on it. The doctor looked at his tatoos and bondage gear and said, "Uh-huh."
Then in the box marked, "Cause of injury:" the doc wrote down' "terminal stupidity."

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I reckon it's some sort of planned procedure, and the moment Phil had a letter with a date on it from the hospital he decided to pretend this was his 'SRS' operation. So yeah, maybe he is in the hospital at the moment, but it wasn't for SRS.

There's been plenty of reasons given in other threads as to why this isn't an SRS operation:
* Date was set way too far in advance for something as dependent on other factors (counselling, hormone levels, weight loss, laser hair removal etc)
* Three days of bowel prep doesn't happen - and certainly not without being on clear fluids only
* Actual bowel prep meds are prescribed, and not over the counter rubbish hoarded from a year ago
* Major surgery very unlikely to be scheduled on a Friday, and on a holiday weekend
* @Smutley has an informant on the SRS surgeon's staff who's said Phil isn't their patient
* Phil's been lying about hair removal treatments for months (two hour appointments three times a week for three months or more, just doesn't happen)
* Phil doesn't have anyone to escort him home from hospital, and doesn't have a responsible adult to stay with him for the first 48 hours
* Phil was far too chirpy and with it on social media afterwards to have had a long operation under general anasthetic

and probably a bunch more I'm forgetting.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Every so often, his torso begins to absorb his head, and the doctors have to pull it out again.

 

[Goofy Logic]

One potential thought:
Phil had a tuber-meltdown and took a knife to his peen, only for the blood and the pain to make him chicken out and go to a hospital.

 

[m0rnutz]

To be fair, it has been stated in one of the other threads that there is a possibility to opt out of an online search.

He wasn't booked. Smutters confirmed.

 

[Angry New Ager]

He wasn't booked. Smutters confirmed.

He wasn't specifically booked for GRS, with Dr. Dugi. And Dugi's staff wouldn't know if he was admitted elsewhere in the hospital, through the ER.

But Phil was definitely admitted to the hospital at OHSU on Friday, most likely for a self-inflicted cause so he could take pics of himself as a patient. He opted out of making his name searchable on the hospital's website, so nobody else at the hospital would be able to confirm he was even there. And I suspect he opted out because there's only so long the hospital is/was going to keep him, and he has/had no control over how long, and it would really fuck with his story had they discharged him on Saturday and that info was readily available on the website. He'll probably keep posting hospital pics for at least a couple of days post-release, assuming he hasn't been released already.

One potential thought:
Phil had a tuber-meltdown and took a knife to his peen, only for the blood and the pain to make him chicken out and go to a hospital.

He'd be on a psych hold for that, which means he wouldn't be lounging in bed, watching cartoons, and posting to Tumblr.