Why is Tumblr good at creating lolcows? -

[The Knife's Husbando]

It's called /b/ and that's exactly what happened

/b/?

Really?

/b was, and still is an intellectual cesspool of shitposters, morons, adolescent tryhards, inane half-ass trolling plans, and child rapists looking for their daily CP fix. It has the square root of fuck all to do with actual free speech and common sense.

 

[osooolemiiio]

I was last I checked, but to be honest I set my Tumblr up about two years ago, they might have changed it.

(That is, around 2012? Same as when I set up mine, but I don't remember it being in the options even then.)

Offtop aside - from what I heard, old 'chan threads at least get pruned? Old Tumblr shit stays up unless you prune it manually. Shouldn't that alone worry the 'cows? Like, one never knows who may happen to have a site ripper, and can't be that naive to think "don't judge a person by their old stuff" = excuse to get away with anything.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

(That is, around 2012? Same as when I set up mine, but I don't remember it being in the options even then.)

Offtop aside - from what I heard, old 'chan threads at least get pruned? Old Tumblr shit stays up unless you prune it manually. Shouldn't that alone worry the 'cows? Like, one never knows who may happen to have a site ripper, and can't be that naive to think "don't judge a person by their old stuff" = excuse to get away with anything.

Went back to my Tumblr & checked my settings. You were right. Thanks for the heads-up.

Keep in mind with the Lolcow-teir Tumblrinias, blogging is all they do. They don't have a job (fight the system!), or a significant other (fight the matriarchy/patriarchy!) or ya know actually get out and exercise (body image buzzwords!), so all they do all day and night is obsessively re-read their tumblrs/blogs/whatever & edit-polish them. They're very aware of what's where.

 

[osooolemiiio]

Then it must be only those few lolcalves I stumbled upon. They started off as regular fans, went downhill later and still have some of their sperg moments up. Problem is, 1) there's only few chunks of it and 2) they're... well, calves. As in, teens. No idea what'll grow out of them.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

/b/?

Really?

/b was, and still is an intellectual cesspool of shitposters, morons, adolescent tryhards, inane half-ass trolling plans, and child rapists looking for their daily CP fix. It has the square root of fuck all to do with actual free speech and common sense.

Actually I disagree - not with the content of /b/ but what it represents. When you have near-unrestricted freedom on the Internet, that's the result. It's a shithole and I may be in the minority but I think it's an important shithole.

(The CP thing is really overblown though - it hasn't been a thing for ages.)

 

[OBAMATRON]

Tumblr - Why is it so good at generating Cow's.​

It isn't.

 

[Lord Khaz]

It isn't.

Please elaborate.

 

[Twaughthammer]

@dubya Cow's what?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

 

[OBAMATRON]

@dubya Cow's what?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Go read the first post you sped.

 

[Mauvman Shuffleboard]

Please elaborate.

I can't speak for that dude, but I can tell you why I agreed with him.

Imagine Santa's workshop but instead of toys for all the good little girls and boys of the world they were making lolcows for us Kiwis. All specially crafted by elves, all very unique and very exceptional individuals. It takes time to make it just right so you only get a new one every once in a while. Sure you might have the same kind of cow from time to time, like an artist that's full of themselves but do they have fucked up teeth, an inflation fetish or a supernatural fixation on an obscure character from a 1930s book that nobody cares about? Come Christmas time our young Kiwi will open up their presents and find a whole bunch of weird people that should in no way be allowed to interact with our hypothetical young Kiwi.

Now imagine a Chinese factory with a plastic injection mold to make knock off He-man action figures (or if you don't like He-man you can imagine something else, like dinosaurs or a sweet motorbike). That factory can't do shit if they want to make unlicensed Kermit the Frog T-shirts, but what they can do is crank out a shitton of He-men. Quality control's a bit lax so all the details don't quite come out the same but you definitely got some sort of thing that vaguely resembles He-man, and if they're really feeling keen they can paint on some red racing stripes to make him go faster and that's pretty cool. If you replace Chinese factory with Tumblr and He-man with a "Tumblrite" you have another way of producing lolcows, sort of. They're all very similar and hard to tell apart at first glance, sometimes they fall apart the second you try to play with them and other times you get brain damage from all the lead paint they're just coated in.

That's why I don't think Tumblr is good at producing lolcows. I think it's very good at producing one specific kind of cow, your standard genderspecial wealthy white woman with the headmates, stupid hair, and a fanatical obsession with some silly topic most people don't really care about. That's the sort of thing Tumblr molds malleable calfs into. Of course they're still individuals and differ in a lot of ways, but are generally built around the same core as far as lolcow qualities go. Basically dude if you want variety Tumblr alone won't make little Kiwi happy on Christmas day.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

@Mauvman Shuffleboard I completely understand where you're coming from, but let's not put too fine a point on things: the number one lolcow will always be Chris, and Chris' descent into madness (Sonichu, Love Quest, etc) long before things like Facebook, YouTube, tumblr etc become popular in the mainstream or even existed. The chance of hitting a prize-winning bovine who somehow doesn't use a ridiculously popular hugbox like tumblr are very low indeed, so I think maybe it's worth re-evaluating the direction of the statement: perhaps it's not tumblr that's producing the lolcows per se, but there is certainly strong reason (and empirical evidence) to suggest that potential winners will gravitate towards the site.

The days of lolcows lurking on the fringes on the Internet waiting to be discovered have long since gone. Lolcows demand attention, and lolcows demand a circlejerk. What better place to get both of those things than on tumblr?

 

[Mauvman Shuffleboard]

@Mauvman Shuffleboard I completely understand where you're coming from, but let's not put too fine a point on things: the number one lolcow will always be Chris, and Chris' descent into madness (Sonichu, Love Quest, etc) long before things like Facebook, YouTube, tumblr etc become popular in the mainstream or even existed. The chance of hitting a prize-winning bovine who somehow doesn't use a ridiculously popular hugbox like tumblr are very low indeed, so I think maybe it's worth re-evaluating the direction of the statement: perhaps it's not tumblr that's producing the lolcows per se, but there is certainly strong reason (and empirical evidence) to suggest that potential winners will gravitate towards the site.

The days of lolcows lurking on the fringes on the Internet waiting to be discovered have long since gone. Lolcows demand attention, and lolcows demand a circlejerk. What better place to get both of those things than on tumblr?

I was just talking about the general type of lolcows that tend to come from Tumblr, the ones notable for what happened after they were molded by Tumblr culture and all that. The truly great lolcows are exceptions by their very nature, and often fucked up right from the get go. If one were to come from Tumblr it wouldn't necessarily be a "Tumblr" cow and I'd say it would most likely be nothing like what you'd expect from one. If they were like the others they wouldn't be so special to begin with, and that's hardly notable. Recall that our fearless commander got his start with the Tumblr blog "Fuck Yeah Deagles" (which is a bit of a bad example because his Youtube/Twitter was where the good stuff was really at and also that other reason that will not be explicitly said).

Tumblr is just one of many ways for a crazy dude on the online to form a presence. A sufficiently crazy dude will be found no matter where they are, even the Ask Jeeves Kids Support Forum. Tumblr, Twitter, DeviantArt, Youtube, Facebook, Kiwi Farms, and all that other jazz are just different ways to transmit autism over the internet. If you want a good lolcow, the individual is what matters, not which site they use.

 

[Meowthkip]

I think Mauvman has a point. So far we only have a couple of threads on non-SJW Tumblrites. We should really cover a more diverse section of cows. Tumblr has Columbiners, neo-Nazis, rabid anti-SJWs who are just as bad (if not worse) than SJWs, pony ask blogs, and much more.

I've been debating whether or not to make a thread on CommunismKills for a while now, but I'm not sure if she's a lolcow as much as she is a drama magnet.

 

[Twaughthammer]

@dubya Was obviously referring to your grammar, dumbfuck. It was obviously a joke, hence, "sorry, couldn't resist".

 

[OBAMATRON]

@dubya Was obviously referring to your grammar, dumbfuck. It was obviously a joke, hence, "sorry, couldn't resist".

Do you understand what a quote is?

 

[Igottafish]

They aren't good nor the best, but they aren't the worst either. They're about average.