Kiwi Farms

So, as some of you people may know, I am a huge fan of reptiles. The problem with being a reptile keeper is there are a lot of groups that want to take away my right to own these animals. Some are left wing hippie groups who want to abolish all pet ownership, to right wing busy bodies who want to micro manage everyone’s lives and thinks “snakes are duh debil!” Of course, these people are wrong. Most snakes and other reptiles are harmless, save for the big five snakes, there is nothing you can buy at a local pet store that can terrorize a neighborhood. (Unless of course your local pet store is one of the few that sells hots or crocs.) But every once in a while, some asshole comes along determined to prove them right. These days, the assholes love to provide them video evidence on YouTube because why the fuck not?

Meet Boaman5435, a fat autist from Maryland who sounds a bit like an autistic Louie Anderson.


So why is this kid relevant? For the last couple of years he has been spamming YouTube with videos videos displaying an atrocious level of ignorance when it comes to reptile husbandry. You can see this in his “reptile room tour video”


This is like Lovecraft for lizards. What makes this particularly special is that he does not buy these animals on his own, his fucking parents do. His parents, decided that their precious little autists can have anything he wants, including giant snakes that can choke the shit out of his high functioning ass. This of course, will lead to more regulations for responsible keepers. I thought of course, maybe they were regular but ignorant parents. But watch this video:


You see, his parents enable him by recording his videos and holy shit listen to that laugh. Is his dad fucking Goofy? What the actual fuck?

I’ll close this by leaving some of the Best of Boaman vids out there, witch compile some of his best moments and I will post some more vids later as well. I’ll try and write up on some other reptile retards, like Muffdaddy2, snakmannva or dancingwithsavs later.