Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

WinchesterPremium

kiwifarms.net
Have you ever wondered what the result is when you cross neopagans and neopronouns? How about what happens when a wiccan is told they can change the world with emojis then falls into lefty politics? What if the world is filled with ghosts, demons, faeries, angels and more - all of whom are super chill and ready to hang with just about anyone? Can you cure anxiety and smite the patriarchy with magical fruit?

Witchblr is the punchline to all that! As you may expect, it is a sub-community filled with lolcows.

An article by the Verge (bare with me) goes over some of the history and appeal of this community. At one point it was apparently the 11th largest on Tumblr, making it one of the larger easily available groups of crazy people on the net. Naturally how seriously this is taken varies from person to person, as does their degree of lolcowness and entertainment.

One common thread to the whole community is the "Emoji spell" (vice article for laughs, supposedly their origin). Something like a meme that certain people take way too seriously, emoji spells are attempts at doing magic by putting a bunch of pictures together, saying "like to charge reblog to cast", and then letting the Tumblr machine take over. Here are some examples:

Now these may seem like random memes on any normal sight, but look at the hastags and usernames. This is a community that contains people who genuinely think :heart-full::tugboat::heart-full::aug::deagle::waifu::woo: is #wicca #spell. They have full faith that this nonsense is a legitimate prayer. You can generally tell the cows that take this seriously by their names. Keywords in their username like Witch, Pagan, Magic, and other Witchblr keywords help you identify who takes this seriously vs who is just posting to meme.

Emoji spells have been around for years so you can find one for just about anything. Given the current climate for some examples, you want to find one to stop Covid-19? They made one. BLM emoji spells? They made one. Anti-Trump? Anti-Rowling? Easy to find. While these are entertaining on their own they're only the briefest dip into the insanity that is Witchblr, I'll go on to the next topic now.

Would you expect a religious community to come together regardless of race? Do the Gods and Spirits care about the gender of mere mortals? Does magic care about what culture you come from? This is Witchblr, so the answers are naturally no, yes, and yes. Witchblr is the type of culture that fully believes voodoo and hoodoo are functional magic systems, but also white people shouldn't use them because that is cultural appropriation.




Aside from emojis and identities in magic, the third uniquely Tumblr take is politics. The most recent event being the attempt to cast a "mass spell" during the eclipse for BLM to defeat all cops ever and usher in the age of the witch. Naturally they would have to fight off Nazi and government occultists to do so, and need to be careful to avoid having their spells backfire.


The last point isn't Tumblr or Tumblr culture specific, its just that the Witchblr community gives crazy people who want to be special the opportunity to tell the world how special they are and show it how crazy they are. The rest are just random examples of varied insanity I pulled from the community, along with links for those interested in potential places to farm content. I hope they give you a small taste of what is available in the Witchblr community. You can generally find more content like this by searching #witchblr on Tumblr, or the other common hastags seen in these examples such at #witchtips. Happy (Witch) Hunting!

 
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Govt. Shitposting Machine

A shitpost a day keeps the CIA away!
kiwifarms.net
I remember when I used to use Tumblr and a LOT of aesthetic blogs got swept up with reblogging Wicca related content. Vaporwave, cottagecore, Sanrio, you name the aesthetic and theres a shit ton of people posting edgy Wicca shit.
I don't have any memorable stories or blogs but I do remember a lot of people e-begging people to buy their Tarot readings for the very low price of $5 and Emoji spells were basically just the lazy way of getting a lot of clout on Tumblr. Used to see bizarre shit like "emoji spells to banish terfs" or "like to charge reblog to cast for beheading trump".
And there's really a lot of MtFs who are into Wicca, I guess because they see a religion that's mostly female dominated and they just gotta get in touch with their inner women by pretending to do period spells. There's really nothing they won't claim as their own kek.
 

The Reaper

Be more kind, my friends.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The white people can't sage link was misquoted, and so its hyperlink is in the spoiler title, and the text you wanted to use for it is within the spoiler @WinchesterPremium. You've got a lot of fun stuff so far. I was just wondering if there is any prominent members in the Witchblr community that have caused drama or other silly stuff? I know there was the instant of the Tumblr witch taking the bones of minorities to sell them online for spell use:
This gives a quick rundown on that story.

I'd also look into archiving some of the stuff you have right now.
so is espousing left wing SJW politics enough to make someone a lolcow now?

not a fan of this
Here try this spell that helps you to see everyone else as a lolcow:

💯 🐮🥝🥝}:P}:P🥝🥝🐮💯
Hope this helps!
 

WinchesterPremium

kiwifarms.net
so is espousing left wing SJW politics enough to make someone a lolcow now?

not a fan of this
If you do it with unironic magic spells, yes. Doubly so if you're unironically worried that Nazis might counterspell you, or that someone might screw up their protection spell because the stars arn't right. There are plenty of "Don't just do magic, also do real world activism!" post on the tag that don't really count as lolcow material, and there is plenty of Witchblr entertainment to be had unrelated to politics. A theoretical Nazi occultist would also count, though despite several claims otherwise the community leans heavily left as far as I've seen. I might have been leaning too heavily into the political part, but current events mean that politics has taken a forefront in the group in the last couple of weeks. I'll look around for more apolitical insanity to back up my claims.

In the meantime I'll back up my claims by posting a furby participating in a BLM ritual and challenge you to say that isn't lolcow material.

The white people can't sage link was misquoted, and so its hyperlink is in the spoiler title, and the text you wanted to use for it is within the spoiler @WinchesterPremium. You've got a lot of fun stuff so far. I was just wondering if there is any prominent members in the Witchblr community that have caused drama or other silly stuff? I know there was the instant of the Tumblr witch taking the bones of minorities to sell them online for spell use:
This gives a quick rundown on that story.

I'd also look into archiving some of the stuff you have right now.

Here try this spell that helps you to see everyone else as a lolcow:

💯 🐮🥝🥝}:P}:P🥝🥝🐮💯
Hope this helps!
Thanks, fixed it! I'll try to get an archive of everything up relatively soon, I'm still new at archiving.

I personally only started following the community relatively recently, so I'm liable to miss many big figures. I saw a couple of people posting "Don't steal human remains/graveyard dirt, not cool", your video was informative! It basically covered everything I could find about Boneghazi, you can still find people with lesser desecration like this:


...And those are just the examples that say "Yes, take dirt directly from the graves of strangers" and not "Uh, Grave Dirt means any dirt from the graveyard just pick some up away from the actual graves its totally legit."
 
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Shaka Brah

Hang ten, my dudes.
kiwifarms.net
If anyone from Tumblr is reading this, I have already contacted my brethren in the Deutsche Ahnenerbe and Thule Gesellschaft and we've erected a magical warding across the United States using Vril Energy to counteract your magical spell. To overcome it you have to put a shoe on your head and post tits.
 

The Shadow

The Longest Halloween
kiwifarms.net
What is it with Gen X/Millenial women and their attraction to witchcraft/neopagan shit? I've seen a lot of it on social media, usually just reposts of moonbatt-tier "magic" or "witchcraft" related aphorisms, but still. It's especially odd when they're concurrently posting lots of stuff related to church activities. I don't know if you read Exodus, Melissa, but God- he ain't so hot on witches.

Although I guess amidst all the metaphorical witch hunting going on, it's amusing that "real" witches self identify.
 

Shaka Brah

Hang ten, my dudes.
kiwifarms.net
What is it with Gen X/Millenial women and their attraction to witchcraft/neopagan shit? I've seen a lot of it on social media, usually just reposts of moonbatt-tier "magic" or "witchcraft" related aphorisms, but still. It's especially odd when they're concurrently posting lots of stuff related to church activities. I don't know if you read Exodus, Melissa, but God- he ain't so hot on witches.

Although I guess amidst all the metaphorical witch hunting going on, it's amusing that "real" witches self identify.
Feminist literature recontextualized witch burnings as a part of nasty patriarchal societies hurting strong independent wxmxn, and Wicca was subverted by a woman to be a gynocentric new age religion. When young women in our generation went to college they were shown this by gender studies departments (or got it online or from friends) and internalized it as true.

Combined with anti-Christian attitudes in society leaving people seeking spiritual fulfillment, it's not too big a shock that a lot of rootless, unmarried 20-somethings fall into a cultic practice that basically tells them they're the most important and powerful beings in the universe.
 

The Shadow

The Longest Halloween
kiwifarms.net
Feminist literature recontextualized witch burnings as a part of nasty patriarchal societies hurting strong independent wxmxn, and Wicca was subverted by a woman to be a gynocentric new age religion. When young women in our generation went to college they were shown this by gender studies departments (or got it online or from friends) and internalized it as true.

Combined with anti-Christian attitudes in society leaving people seeking spiritual fulfillment, it's not too big a shock that a lot of rootless, unmarried 20-somethings fall into a cultic practice that basically tells them they're the most important and powerful beings in the universe.
That's the thing though, I see it from married women that go to church weekly, some of whom didn't go to college. So...what the hell gives?
 

PinstripeLuns

Oy vey!
kiwifarms.net
Like ten different tumblr witches lost their shit when I said I thought this shit was stupid. They all immediately used Christianity as an example of stupid things people believe in, which is funny, because I think God is more believable than Aphrodite - a goddess born from someone's ballsack.

Another thing, isn't it funny how they demand to be respected but always talk down to or about Christians? It's never Judaism or Islam it's always Christians. Why? Witch trials stopped centuries ago.
 

Cossack

Nous n'irons pas à tes sabbats!
kiwifarms.net
Like ten different tumblr witches lost their shit when I said I thought this shit was stupid. They all immediately used Christianity as an example of stupid things people believe in, which is funny, because I think God is more believable than Aphrodite - a goddess born from someone's ballsack.
Don't forget all of the rape and incest (among their own gods, no less)!
 
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