Words & Phrases DSP Has Invented or Misuses - DSP'isms that make you say "HUUUHN?!?"

Prince Lotor

I'm not an eldritch horror! I'm a human being!
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I'm sure at one point or another most of us have heard our favorite valedictorian sped utter something that made us think, 'Hey! That's not even a word!" Whether it was some mush-mouthed mumbling or some mash-up of two words that still don't make any sense separately or combined in the cahntext DSP used them it annoys and amuses me, as his 'job' is a public performer (living muppet).

What did DSP think he meant? What words may he have confused together? Let your autism and pedantry be the wind beneath your wings.
What about phrases that sound like an alien using machine learning to simulate human speech?
What examples of DSP flubbing his way through the English language amuse you?
Maybe he's a brave pioneer trailblazing his way to a new and better English language for all of us nudnigs and we should be grateful to witness such a spectacle and throw quarters?


My word for today, as DSP pronounces it, is 'Conjextsture' as in the quote from this DSP Tries It: "This one you get not only the seasoning of the chicken stock flavoring with the salt, but you also get the. .the. .conjextsture of. . .the sweetness of the corn and the other ingredients that are in it. Okaaay?"

It's like he mashed up conjecture and mixture into one word. He's talking about flavors mingling and complimenting each other. YouTube auto-generated captions thinks he said conjecture, which make no sense as a conjecture is an opinion or supposition based on incomplete information. There apparently is the Latin word 'congesture' which seems to mean in the future something is about to collect, but I somehow doubt DSP thought to start speaking Latin in the same video he demonstrated how incredibly difficult it was to get 'a spoon of noodle'. He did have a cold in the video so maybe he had the word 'congest' on his mind and threw a couple more word fragments on to the end of it. Maybe he meant 'contexture' and mashed it together with 'conjecture', that would come pretty close to making sense.
Edit: Timestamped link in case video embeds get fucked up again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-V-f9inLoo&t=23m01s
 
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Commander Keen

in GOODBYE GALAXY!!!
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Homemade frozen pizza = cooking a frozen pizza at your home

Full adult house = putting your dolls collectable statue collection in the closet

Full time girlfriend = getting some bitch to live with you

I think those are euphemisms. DSP pumps out a metric fuckton of euphemisms, it’s really quite astounding. I never gave it much thought, but now that I look back at a lot of stuff he’s said it’s pretty intense. I think that our language (American english) is so inundated with euphemisms because of certain events and factors that I just never really considered DSP being a jackass when he used them. Got used to it.

Even “detractor” is a euphemism.
 
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