Q
QB 290
Guest
kiwifarms.net
We've all had terrible dates, it could be the person, the place, circumstances or anything. One thing for sure, it sucked dick. So what was the worst date you've ever had. Feel free to post more then one.
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Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Looking into some solutions.
I had a gay experience in Summer Camp when I was 7. My bunkmates were experimenting, and made me their mo-fo unwilling guinea pig. I was blindfolded during the whole thing, feeling an 8-year old's dick up my ass. I was not thrilled from the ordeal. But last January, I became curious from the recalling of the feeling, so I asked Jerry to show me a night. At first it was neutral, then he made out with me; his breath was minty with a hint of garlic from something he ate; it was cool with me. Then he told me to suck his dick, and I did; the taste and sight did not thrill me. And he sucked mine. He got a rise out of me, but then I started to feel uneasy. It was minor at first, and I promised myself I'd see this through. Finally, he was in me doggy style. As he humped me, I was feeling it both in my penis, and in my gut; worsening as he went on. And eventually, I embarrassed myself grossly. I came AND fucking threw up simultaneously. Jerry had not come yet himself, and out of respect, he withdrew himself and asked me if I was okay. He cleaned me, and my mess on his floor up. I felt soo damn ashamed, but Jerry was kind and understanding to me. And it was then I confirmed it for myself that I was not gay, and Jerry and Dino agreed with me. So with that, I was able to move forward feeling more confident in my orientation.
like any of you losers have had dates lol
I went on a minor one with my girlfriend to Subway, she was about to leave for Canada so she met me to say goodbye. Things went well, except for a minor detail at the end: I asked her if I could walk her into town, she said "No...goodbye." and left without looking back. That was 3 years ago.
V
VJ 120
Guest
kiwifarms.net
One time when I was in high school this guy I was not really into at all asked me out on a date, so we saw a movie and he invited me back to his place to play video games. So we were playing Halo or whatever and this dude straight up got mad and accused me of looking at his half of the screen because I kept managing to get headshots on him. I wasn't. He was just really shitty at Halo. At some point his mom came home from whatever she was out of the house doing and actually started making fun of him for losing to a girl. After that, he ragequit and I decided to make an excuse to go home.
The kicker is that I had never played Halo in my life up until that moment and never really played an xbox 360 either, so he must have been pretty awful. I suck at video games.
The kicker is that I had never played Halo in my life up until that moment and never really played an xbox 360 either, so he must have been pretty awful. I suck at video games.
Had a female friend I met on an Asperger group, we had been friends for a couple of years (met at the forum meetups) and she told me she liked me and we got close chatting online. I went to London to visit her and had a nice day, we hugged and seemed close.
Later she asked me online to stay the night next time, she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to have sex but she wanted to rent the new Disney movie and get a pizza and I could sleep on the sofa if it got too much and she needed to sleep alone. I was not sure if i wanted sex either but i thought pizza and film sounded fun.
So I went to London again and the first thing -she stood back and said sharply she had met a guy at college and only wanted me as a friend. The whole day was awkward and then she went nuts at me having bought a little clothes bag and said she didn't remember asking me to stay.
I think it was best though as even the first date had been dull..now I've dated people I enjoy talking to more I see how badly matched we were, but at the time I just thought it was me being depressed.
I wish she had told me not to come instead of meeting me for a shit day
Later she asked me online to stay the night next time, she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to have sex but she wanted to rent the new Disney movie and get a pizza and I could sleep on the sofa if it got too much and she needed to sleep alone. I was not sure if i wanted sex either but i thought pizza and film sounded fun.
So I went to London again and the first thing -she stood back and said sharply she had met a guy at college and only wanted me as a friend. The whole day was awkward and then she went nuts at me having bought a little clothes bag and said she didn't remember asking me to stay.
I think it was best though as even the first date had been dull..now I've dated people I enjoy talking to more I see how badly matched we were, but at the time I just thought it was me being depressed.
I wish she had told me not to come instead of meeting me for a shit day
Realtalk now:
Met up with a girl after talking online. We met at a tapas place, near where I work but miles away from my house (not relevant really)
She spends the whole time disagreeing with me. It's clear we have nothing in common. She's smoking hot but I can't even make myself care about that because her personality is so fucking obnoxious. Finally I've had enough. I pay the bill so I can go, she wants me to walk her to her car. It's dark, so I do. But I don't even try for a kiss or a hug, she's that annoying. Couple of days later she texts me and I don't reply.
To this day I'm still pissed that I paid for dinner and didn't even get a BJ.
Met up with a girl after talking online. We met at a tapas place, near where I work but miles away from my house (not relevant really)
She spends the whole time disagreeing with me. It's clear we have nothing in common. She's smoking hot but I can't even make myself care about that because her personality is so fucking obnoxious. Finally I've had enough. I pay the bill so I can go, she wants me to walk her to her car. It's dark, so I do. But I don't even try for a kiss or a hug, she's that annoying. Couple of days later she texts me and I don't reply.
To this day I'm still pissed that I paid for dinner and didn't even get a BJ.
Went on a blind-ish date with a guy once: not only was he about 15 minutes late he also spent about half of the date complaining about his ex-wife, how he loves his kid but doesn't want any more because evil women be entrapping men with pregnancy/children. Suffice it to say, we didn't go on a second date.
Dude, I get it, we all have our hangups, past hurts, issues and whatnot. But we only went for a coffee. I don't need to hear about your issues with women.
Dude, I get it, we all have our hangups, past hurts, issues and whatnot. But we only went for a coffee. I don't need to hear about your issues with women.
Q
QB 290
Guest
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if anyone else has ever gone on dates with male feminists, but from my experiences, they're the worst. 3 hours listening to them cry about how much women are oppressed or why they're totally for LGBT rights or how they hate being white. At the end of the day, no amount of sexiness replaces confidence and nobody wants a whiny bitch to treat you like a goddess just because you have a vagina.
Then there's going through the teenage "bi" years every girl goes through because we need to feel special. My first (and last) date with a girl was a goddamn nightmare. She couldn't for the life of her talk about anything interesting. It was either how dumb the Kardashians are or about her cat. All the while trying to play footsies and touching in places she shouldn't. Then she started telling people we fucked. Spoiler warning, we didn't.
So yeah, those were my horror stories.
The moral is, New age liberal feminists and dumb touchy lesbians are not cute. Not that you needed me to tell you that though.
Then there's going through the teenage "bi" years every girl goes through because we need to feel special. My first (and last) date with a girl was a goddamn nightmare. She couldn't for the life of her talk about anything interesting. It was either how dumb the Kardashians are or about her cat. All the while trying to play footsies and touching in places she shouldn't. Then she started telling people we fucked. Spoiler warning, we didn't.
So yeah, those were my horror stories.
The moral is, New age liberal feminists and dumb touchy lesbians are not cute. Not that you needed me to tell you that though.
I've had a lot of bad (dating site) dates but one that sticks out is the one I let come over and hang out instead of go out because my leg was broken and they had to take some pills with food and they ate a dinner roll by tearing it into pieces and they got an insane amount of bread in my bed. It was disgusting. I decided to kick them out early because they were really boring other than that and I had to drive them an hour back to their school because the busses weren't running. They had to give me 20 for gas and then told me to send 20 bucks to repay it later. No. If I have to drive you an hour because you're so lame I'm keeping the whole 20.
I saw "Dude, Where's My Car?" on a date. 
So I was the last person to see Napoleon Dynamite like ever it was about to leave theaters and there was a girl I liked in a class and she raved about it. I barely knew her she was cute so I figured to ask her to take me so I can check it out. She was more than happy to see it for I want to say her 4th time. Everyone else I knew loved it too, and everyone said you need to be altered mind for it. I don't smoke pot, so drinking it was. I knew I was going to get fucked up so I forget how I talked her into driving for it but we did.
She snuck some sour patch kids, I snuck a flask. Being both underage and poor it was some rot gut bourbon. I pre gamed a little before the date this was bad stuff... but at the time I was a light weight. I had a buzz still by the time trailers started playing. I got this vibe she was a goody goody so I didn't think to mention I had been drinking or had booze with me.
The movie was still pretty packed and she's laughing her ass off like loud enough I'm uncomfortable. Howling like a banshee, but most have been some other die hards as she wasn't alone in it. Me being a bit embarrassed and not quite up to the point I was a proud public degenerate yet, I snuck a few quick pulls here and there.
I'm really kinda just missing what's funny but it was kinda enjoyable to see that many people losing it. Well I'm getting bored half way through and figure time to get from business drunk bassomatic to fucked up sloppy bassomatic. Perhaps I will do something bold like, put my hand on her knee.
I cock my head back and go for the kill on the flask. She looks over at me, even in the dark I can feel that wide eye stare of shock and disgust. Being a gentleman deep down, I offer her a pull by taking my lips off it and giving it a gentle shake in her direction. "I DON'T DRINK" Sounding like a mother. Down the hatch it goes.
On the ride home, she scolded me. The entire ride home. Oh and my parents were fucking thrilled I showed up drunk late at night.
She snuck some sour patch kids, I snuck a flask. Being both underage and poor it was some rot gut bourbon. I pre gamed a little before the date this was bad stuff... but at the time I was a light weight. I had a buzz still by the time trailers started playing. I got this vibe she was a goody goody so I didn't think to mention I had been drinking or had booze with me.
The movie was still pretty packed and she's laughing her ass off like loud enough I'm uncomfortable. Howling like a banshee, but most have been some other die hards as she wasn't alone in it. Me being a bit embarrassed and not quite up to the point I was a proud public degenerate yet, I snuck a few quick pulls here and there.
I'm really kinda just missing what's funny but it was kinda enjoyable to see that many people losing it. Well I'm getting bored half way through and figure time to get from business drunk bassomatic to fucked up sloppy bassomatic. Perhaps I will do something bold like, put my hand on her knee.
I cock my head back and go for the kill on the flask. She looks over at me, even in the dark I can feel that wide eye stare of shock and disgust. Being a gentleman deep down, I offer her a pull by taking my lips off it and giving it a gentle shake in her direction. "I DON'T DRINK" Sounding like a mother. Down the hatch it goes.
On the ride home, she scolded me. The entire ride home. Oh and my parents were fucking thrilled I showed up drunk late at night.
FuckBitchesGetRiches
kiwifarms.net
Some dude who ended up being super into vore and wanted to show me his vore fiction. He kept talking about sex in the restaurant and was a feeder. I dropped him like a hot potato.
Later on, I found that he mentions his fetish on a non-sex site. Fun stuff.
Later on, I found that he mentions his fetish on a non-sex site. Fun stuff.
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Can I just say this is really the kind of thread I needed to see? My friends have literally nothing but success stories.
R
RI 360
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Once in HS some kid I had a crush on who was a couple years older and on the wrestling team asked me on a date, I was pretty excited. We went to dinner later that week and the experience was so awkward, I'm normally pretty good at getting people to relax and talk but he was just impossible. Every question I asked he answered curtly, in a way that I couldn't really build on. Finally, I cracked and asked the obvious "what are you passionate about?" and I got two answers 1. being a Jehovah witness and 2. the sound track from Star Wars. He was tripping over himself talking about both for like the next forty minutes before I finally got us to leave, he sperged about it the entire walk to my apartment. Then a few days later he showed up in front of my building at like three am fucking wasted and was belligerently ringing the door bell and screaming for me (the bell was broken, so when you rang one you rang all three which included the landlord). He woke my dad up, who then woke me up and I chased him away. Then he left for college and I saw him a couple years later and he was a total fucking mess. We made eye contact and the first words out of his mouth were "I KNOW! I KNOW! I GOT REALLY FAT" lol sooo gross.
My favorite thing that ever happened on a date was the time me and my BF at the time took his boat out on a lake to watch the sunset. We cut the engine when we were far enough out and sat comfortably in silence cuddling, enjoying a beer and the electric colors in the sky. It was so idyllic, with a sailboat gliding effortlessly past us. After a little while the silence was shattered by a loud metallic clattering and crash into the water followed by a drawled "ooooohhhhh sshiiiiiiiiiiiittt" the sailboat that had made the scene so perfect lost its mast. I started cackling like a fucking hyena, like so hard I couldn't breathe as they drunkenly surveyed what exactly happened and what it was they were going to do. After I got myself to a point where I could speak we flashed them with a light and called over if they needed any help. They declined. Probably because they could still hear me laughing. It brings me to tears to remember til today.
My favorite thing that ever happened on a date was the time me and my BF at the time took his boat out on a lake to watch the sunset. We cut the engine when we were far enough out and sat comfortably in silence cuddling, enjoying a beer and the electric colors in the sky. It was so idyllic, with a sailboat gliding effortlessly past us. After a little while the silence was shattered by a loud metallic clattering and crash into the water followed by a drawled "ooooohhhhh sshiiiiiiiiiiiittt" the sailboat that had made the scene so perfect lost its mast. I started cackling like a fucking hyena, like so hard I couldn't breathe as they drunkenly surveyed what exactly happened and what it was they were going to do. After I got myself to a point where I could speak we flashed them with a light and called over if they needed any help. They declined. Probably because they could still hear me laughing. It brings me to tears to remember til today.
I
IV 445
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kiwifarms.net
I knew this thread would be great, but the first post: "I had a gay experience in Summer Camp when I was 7" lmao I'm sorry but I'm putting that in random.text
edit: ah screw you philosophy zombie
edit: ah screw you philosophy zombie
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It is CWC copypasta - http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Trollin_Train
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Female versions too: Let's tell legendary tales of being denied sex at the last goddamn moment.
