I have 40 pages of essay writing to do currently and I feel like it would help me to hear some horror stories of people who've had far more difficult stuff to do
Worst essays you've ever had to write -
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I had to write an essay on how the appearance of my house related to the events in my life and a book we were reading in (university) english class
An old boss once made me write a short essay on how I plan to correct my counter-productive behavior. The behavior in question was not showing up for work because he intentionally scheduled me on a day he knew I'd be working my other job. He didn't stay my boss for long.
I had to write a 10 page paper on how Western-genre films portrayed African-Americans and Native Americans, and how those portrayals changed throughout the years. This in itself was not an issue, except for the fact that I'd never actually seen a Western. I stayed awake for three days binge watching everything from John Wayne movies to modern westerns, then wrote the paper in about an hour and a half. I received an A on it. I managed to get home in one piece and slept for 14 hours.
In my 9th grade English class we had to write a research paper on what happened in the world the day we were born. For me nothing happened except I think KFC released something and some random country revalued their currency. I do have the same birthday as Charles Manson so I wrote a terrible paper all about him. It was either him or Tonya Harding.
I still remember the prompt for the exit exam which wasn't a terrible essay at all, I just wish I had gone with my original plan. We were supposed to write about someone who is influential in our community. I wanted to write about Batman.
I still remember the prompt for the exit exam which wasn't a terrible essay at all, I just wish I had gone with my original plan. We were supposed to write about someone who is influential in our community. I wanted to write about Batman.
I didn't expect to go as long to school as I did.
I tracked after to a MBA+MS program, had a thesis for that 114 pages.
Well what do you know, I found myself weeks later starting my dissertation of 130 pages.
Deep down inside, I'm very dead.
Edit: don't want to say exactly what because googleable. Both are econ related.
I tracked after to a MBA+MS program, had a thesis for that 114 pages.
Well what do you know, I found myself weeks later starting my dissertation of 130 pages.
Deep down inside, I'm very dead.
Edit: don't want to say exactly what because googleable. Both are econ related.
11th grade IB English. My teacher, being the eccentric devil he is, gave us all letters written amongst his ancestors and in-laws and told us to piece them together to write a research paper on whatever we could find. My partner and I could find nothing, but seeing as how he made the mistake of saying "write about anything you find", we focused on a little thank-you note written to his parents-in-law regarding a donation of fresh corn.
Long story short, the entire essay was about how corn was the foundation to a healthy civilisation and I think I may have implied that my teacher's retarded cousin-in-law was brain damaged because he didn't eat enough corn. My partner and I got a B because we made the teacher laugh, but still - it became the classroom example of "how not to do this project". I couldn't be more proud.
Long story short, the entire essay was about how corn was the foundation to a healthy civilisation and I think I may have implied that my teacher's retarded cousin-in-law was brain damaged because he didn't eat enough corn. My partner and I got a B because we made the teacher laugh, but still - it became the classroom example of "how not to do this project". I couldn't be more proud.
Not quite the worst essay in terms of content I ever had to write, but this year in art college we got a briefing for an exhibition review only 30 minutes before said exhibition closed and was taken down. It was 15 minutes away by car, and only two people in the class came to college by car.
I had a college US history class taught by a glorified high school teacher. He made us write a fifteen page paper by hand because he thought it made us think more critically. He took points off because I used white out. The guy was a fucking tool.
During 9th grade I wrote a research paper on memes. We had to make a powerpoint to present to class, but luckily only a few did it and just sort of stopped. I still cringe about it to this day.
You just described my sex life
I had a hell of a time writing an essay on a primary source from the Salem witch trials for a US History to 1877 course, on the subject of medieval versus modern(enlightenment) thought expressed in the source. On the plus side the TA I had to grovel to was pretty cute so I didn't totally dread going to her office hours.
Sounds like something Hank Hill would assign when he was teaching shop.
I've got some potential keks for you lads.
After high school, I was studying political science at Indiana University. I took some bullshit "African Americans in modern politics" class, or something along those lines. I can't remember why, it probably fulfilled some elective or something. Anyway, the Black Cultural Center hosted an annual essay contest to coincide with MLK Day, and our final in December for the class was to submit an essay for the contest.
I'm not speaking in hyperbole when I say this, I shat it out in about 45 minutes the day it was due. I can't recall what the topic was, but I'm sure it was some horrible contrived bullshit.
Long story short, I dropped out after that one semester. I didn't fail out, in fact I left with a 4.0, but it was the beginning of close to seven years of autistic borderline NEETdom before I decided to unfuck myself.
After dropping out in December, we fast forward to March. I logged onto my school email for the first time since leaving in search of some FFXI account information. My inbox was filled with messages from the Black Cultural Center.
The first message was from late December. Apparently I had won the contest, which came along with an iPod and the opportunity to read my essay at the school's MLK Day celebration, which was to be attended by top brass at the university.
The proceeding emails were questioning why I wasn't responding. They would have no way to know that I had left. The emails started out fairly polite, but gradually turned hostile. They eventually threatened to withhold my iPod prize if I didn't get in contact with them. By mid-January, the content turned to thinly accusing me of being a racist and questioning why they allow white people to submit entries to the contest.
So, to recap:
After high school, I was studying political science at Indiana University. I took some bullshit "African Americans in modern politics" class, or something along those lines. I can't remember why, it probably fulfilled some elective or something. Anyway, the Black Cultural Center hosted an annual essay contest to coincide with MLK Day, and our final in December for the class was to submit an essay for the contest.
I'm not speaking in hyperbole when I say this, I shat it out in about 45 minutes the day it was due. I can't recall what the topic was, but I'm sure it was some horrible contrived bullshit.
Long story short, I dropped out after that one semester. I didn't fail out, in fact I left with a 4.0, but it was the beginning of close to seven years of autistic borderline NEETdom before I decided to unfuck myself.
After dropping out in December, we fast forward to March. I logged onto my school email for the first time since leaving in search of some FFXI account information. My inbox was filled with messages from the Black Cultural Center.
The first message was from late December. Apparently I had won the contest, which came along with an iPod and the opportunity to read my essay at the school's MLK Day celebration, which was to be attended by top brass at the university.
The proceeding emails were questioning why I wasn't responding. They would have no way to know that I had left. The emails started out fairly polite, but gradually turned hostile. They eventually threatened to withhold my iPod prize if I didn't get in contact with them. By mid-January, the content turned to thinly accusing me of being a racist and questioning why they allow white people to submit entries to the contest.
So, to recap:
- A top 50 university awarded a piece written in 45 minutes by a depressed first semester freshman this apparently prestigious honor open to the entire college including graduate students, and when they got inadvertently trolled, they cried racism.
When I was in high school the kid next to me drew a penis on my paper, so I drew one on his. My teacher saw and sent us to the office, handed us a thesaurus and made us write a 300 word essay on why you shouldn’t draw penises on other people’s papers. He wanted as many synonyms for penis as possible.
I feel like the appropriate John Wayne quote is "Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!" from True Grit.
I had to write a 1000 word essay on an 8 line poem. Poetry is fucking gay.
My 4th grade teacher was the Queen of Homework; she was a polite woman but constantly gave us shitload after shitload of assignments, classwork, and tests. At one point, we had to write a 15-page report for our science or social studies unit (I can't remember which). My parents were obviously outraged and demanded that I have an alternative project. My teacher let me do it in the end, but nevertheless the rest of the school year was a whirlwind of hiding papers, fights, and therapy all because of her bullshit teaching plans.
I had an English term paper due on the differences between Renaissance and Gothic art styles. 15 pages. This was a subject I really liked and I picked it myself. The problem wasn't writing it because I loved the research involved. The problem came when after spending all day at the library I came home to find my computer was hijacked by ransomware. You see, my sister's boyfriend downloaded all this porn through Limewire. And lo and behold that included one of those desktop hijackers that demands you buy software to remove it. I immediately panicked because a good portion of my paper was on there. Although luckily I usually wrote a lot out longhand first. It wasn't like all was completely lost. But it was still a huge burden coupled with the fact that the bastard fucked my computer. He was always watching porn on it and downloading music when I wasn't home. Learned a big lesson about trusting people not to download stuff on a computer that doesn't belong to them.
I made a lot of posts and emails to some more computer savvy people on how to fix it. Meanwhile I had to run in safe mode to type anything. I could use the internet as long as disabled Windows Explorer. It's very hard to do anything that way by the way.
So someone told me what to download to fix it. And I cleaned things out and all was well. And after that I password protected the computer and brought it into my bedroom. My sister and her boyfriend were upset. But generosity can only extend so far. I was being nice sharing it and felt so betrayed. How dare you use another person's computer to download porn. There was so much porn on there you wouldn't believe it.
I did finish my paper and got an A. And I backed up everything on a flash drive instead of just longhand after that too. Although I still did some shorter papers in longhand and then typed them up later.
Another one was where I wrote a six page paper on Manchester during the industrial revolution in four hours. Because I didn't get to it until the morning it was due. Although I laid down preliminary work. I got an A. I actually put a lot of work into it from notes I had already. It was just that I had to put it all together before my bus came around 9am plus wait for it to print. So there was a lot of typing and editing and organizing. The professor was from England and he didn't let us use double spacing. So that made it longer than you'd expect.
Once in class I could hear some bitches in the back whispering about the papers they paid for. Pissed me off.
I found that I work best when I'm just under the wire. I also work well when I have some multitasking to do. If I have to sit down for hours I cannot get it done. But if I have other things to do I can get it done faster because I work well with several tasks at once. Even if those things are distractions.
I made a lot of posts and emails to some more computer savvy people on how to fix it. Meanwhile I had to run in safe mode to type anything. I could use the internet as long as disabled Windows Explorer. It's very hard to do anything that way by the way.
So someone told me what to download to fix it. And I cleaned things out and all was well. And after that I password protected the computer and brought it into my bedroom. My sister and her boyfriend were upset. But generosity can only extend so far. I was being nice sharing it and felt so betrayed. How dare you use another person's computer to download porn. There was so much porn on there you wouldn't believe it.
I did finish my paper and got an A. And I backed up everything on a flash drive instead of just longhand after that too. Although I still did some shorter papers in longhand and then typed them up later.
Another one was where I wrote a six page paper on Manchester during the industrial revolution in four hours. Because I didn't get to it until the morning it was due. Although I laid down preliminary work. I got an A. I actually put a lot of work into it from notes I had already. It was just that I had to put it all together before my bus came around 9am plus wait for it to print. So there was a lot of typing and editing and organizing. The professor was from England and he didn't let us use double spacing. So that made it longer than you'd expect.
Once in class I could hear some bitches in the back whispering about the papers they paid for. Pissed me off.
I found that I work best when I'm just under the wire. I also work well when I have some multitasking to do. If I have to sit down for hours I cannot get it done. But if I have other things to do I can get it done faster because I work well with several tasks at once. Even if those things are distractions.
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Female versions too: Let's tell legendary tales of being denied sex at the last goddamn moment.
Cleaning tips are a bonus
