Worst food/restaurant trends -

JambledUpWords

Y’all are attracted to me, lez be real here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Some of my least favorite trends:
  • Serving everything in mason jars
  • Avocado on everything
  • Overuse of the word “artisan” to sell things at a higher price
  • Quinoa and kale in salads
  • Kale obsession in general (spinach tastes better)
  • Unicorn and mermaid food
  • Sad salads at restaurants that use iceberg lettuce and cheap cheeses
  • Topping food with obnoxious amounts of cheese
 

MembersSchoolPizza

Sworn Brother of the Cult of Browning
kiwifarms.net
  • Overcomplicating burgers. A burger does not need seventeen layers and five ingredients you've never heard of. That's not a burger. It's possibly a meat sandwich of description, but it isn't a burger.
  • Starbucks. The platonic form of Starbucks is flawed.
  • Sliders. Let me clarify: I like a slider from White Castle or Crystal now and then. They're kind of their own thing. But for a while it seemed like any place that offered "burgers" was offering "sliders", which were just mini versions of their regular offering. No. This is not what a slider is.
  • Papa Johns. Again, as an entire concept.
 

The Shadow

Airing on the Mutual Broadcasting System
kiwifarms.net
  • Overcomplicating burgers. A burger does not need seventeen layers and five ingredients you've never heard of. That's not a burger. It's possibly a meat sandwich of description, but it isn't a burger.
  • Starbucks. The platonic form of Starbucks is flawed.
  • Sliders. Let me clarify: I like a slider from White Castle or Crystal now and then. They're kind of their own thing. But for a while it seemed like any place that offered "burgers" was offering "sliders", which were just mini versions of their regular offering. No. This is not what a slider is.
  • Papa Johns. Again, as an entire concept.
Sliders should exist only as an appetizer. There's no reason to offer them as an entree.
 

8777BB5

Keep Her Sexy and Straightforward
kiwifarms.net
Supermarket delis who hold back certain menu items because the associate didn't feel like running the fryer that morning or open new product. I've had to cut the supermarket deli near my work out of my lunch options because the now only have potato wedges, normal potato chips and Macaroni and Cheese on the weekends. During the week you're stuck with crappy artisan chips, baked beans that almost always have something nonbaked beans floating in there, a greenbean casserole knockoff that has caused most of my coworkers to barf after trying it and corn pops which is sweat corn friend in cornmeal.
 

Judge Holden

Explorer in the further regions of autism
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The bacon fetish. I fucking love bacon, and probably have it with way too many dishes (for example my recent invention of "Elvis Oatmeal" which has bacon with peanut butter and chopped bananas in oatmeal, and my more recent varient "Fool's Gold Oatmeal" which replaces the bananas with a blueberry compote....dont judge me it works incredibly well) but jesus fuck is it overused and overdone in so many goddamn dishes, especially those created by the "LOLINTERNETMEEEMES!" crowd
 
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takemetoyourgrave

i got lost in a hot topic on the way here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
you can pry my mason jars from my cold dead hands

but that being said i get v salty when i order my food and am waiting for it to be done when some mobile order comes through and that order gets completed first bc corporate cares about those metrics and i still have to wait for my food to be done or when the person taking my money has to stop with me, go grab the mobile order ticket to hand it off, and then come back rather than just finish with me in the first place jfc
 

Judge Holden

Explorer in the further regions of autism
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Not really a restaurant thing but shit like Blue Apron and every youtube nigger that shills for it

Just.....fucking wow. You cant be fucking arsed to google a half decent recipe and buy some basic ingredients/get them delivered to your house so you throw money at some shitty company that charges you 10x the value of the shit you get?

All the more reason for me to despise the hipster class.
 

TheCapybara

kiwifarms.net
Not really the direct fault of the restaurant (Though I guess they could implement some sort of age restriction), but people who bring their young children into restaurants are a blight on society. If you want to bring your teenager in sure, whatever, I can expect a teenager to at least not cause a scene or anything, but people that go to a restaurants and bring two or three kids between the ages of five and ten and can't keep them on a tight leash are the worst. I don't want to have to deal with a bunch of rambunctious children gallivanting around the restaurant, raising hell and generally being a nuisance while the parents look on, uncaring. Get some takeout and eat at home or something, don't subject me to your little goblin shrieking about how it wants this or that when you won't give it to them. I also despise bad seasonal gimmicks that don't at least stick to their season.
 

TiggerNits

Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That every burger in the UK now comes in a sweet brioche bun. Absolute balls.
Burger buns should only come in 3 types

Wheat Sesame bun

Potato bun

Pretzel bun

edit: Onion rolls are also acceptable

Not really the direct fault of the restaurant (Though I guess they could implement some sort of age restriction), but people who bring their young children into restaurants are a blight on society. If you want to bring your teenager in sure, whatever, I can expect a teenager to at least not cause a scene or anything, but people that go to a restaurants and bring two or three kids between the ages of five and ten and can't keep them on a tight leash are the worst. I don't want to have to deal with a bunch of rambunctious children gallivanting around the restaurant, raising hell and generally being a nuisance while the parents look on, uncaring. Get some takeout and eat at home or something, don't subject me to your little goblin shrieking about how it wants this or that when you won't give it to them. I also despise bad seasonal gimmicks that don't at least stick to their season.
I have a toddler. When my wife and I have to take him out to dinner at a place that doesn't have skeeball or a playground my wife and I are on egg shells, he's a well behaved kid and we never let him on his own in public like that shit, but if he start crying or getting fussy, one of us spirits him outside while the other akwardly eats alone until the kid settles down away from dozens of people trying to enjoy a meal. It sucks, but fuck you if you let your kids do that shit.


Also, we're not doing the movie theater until he's 5 and can play the quiet game successfully
 
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