Would caligula be considered a lolcow in today's standard? - and other historical lolcows..

[kinuee]

He was a retard and clearly autistic, but a lolcow? I don't think so. He had land and fucked bitches 24/7. One of them being his own sister

He was a great shitposter though.

 

[Jordi El Nino Polla]

Caligula would be the system admin of ancient Kiwi Farms.

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

I always thought that Caligula was the victim of fake news.
Take the story of him wanting to appoint his horse to the senate. I can totally see how it actually went down, Caligula frustrated by the senate remarking "God my horse would do a better job, I should appoint him!" then the next day Rome News Network is running the headline "Caligula wants to appoint horse to senate! Also he fucks his sister"

 

[Lone MacReady]

the historiographical material on caligula is notoriously quite biased.
it is likely that he had mental problems but not at the levels described.
The horse thing for example was just a stunt to fuck with the senate.

Much like the phrase "Nero fiddled whilst Rome burned" shows a bias against him because fiddles didn't even exist then. settle down Master Miller

 

[Retired Junta Member]

Much like the phrase "Nero fiddled whilst Rome burned" shows a bias against him because fiddles didn't even exist then. settle down Master Miller

Yeah, right. there is no biography of Nero that is completely reliable or that was not written by a supporter of the senate. He was cruel but not necessarily more than any absolute monarch of the time, and realistically he's probably only lost his mind in the last few years.

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

Much like the phrase "Nero fiddled whilst Rome burned" shows a bias against him because fiddles didn't even exist then. settle down Master Miller

I think the term was to describe more the fact while rome burned he did jack shit but hung around his manor outside of rome. not actually played a violin while rome burned.
basically the ancient equivlant of:

 

[Thumb Butler]

TBH, he seems pretty tame compared to the current load of troons and their SJW Enablers

True, Caligula was not even verified on Twitter.

 

[Sex Cannon Lupa]

So I'm bored and watching some historical documentaries, on my day off, and It occured to me as I watching a documentary on caligula, he could probably not only be insane, but a lolcow of his day.
As to why:

1. He had an incestous relationship with his sister to the point he lmao when she died he made her an official roman godess.
2. he married a pregnant woman and named the baby from that after his sister
3. he had a long standing war with posiden god of the sea.
4. he was a degenerate.

but idk, if it where the times, idk could he be a lolcow if such an indivdual existed in modern times?
also what other historical figures would be considered lolcows or fit the lolcow definition?

Dude sounds chad AF. This thread is insulting.

 

[Flour]

Imagine if Elagabalus had a twitter thread. Kiwis would have a field day.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I feel like you’d have an easier time listing Roman emperors that WERENT cows.

Aside from good old Caligula you had terminal drama queen Nero, who made a castrated boy his wife. He named him after his ex-wife who he is alleged to have kicked to death himself.
The number of the beast 666 was meant to have been derived from Nero’s name so he gets edgelord cow points too.

Even Julius Caesar, arguably one of the biggest chads of ye olden times, had some cow tendencies with his massive ego.

There’s also Elagabalus the proto-troon that I recommend reading up on in your free time History is fun

Also Claudius for being so damn stupid that he, according to Suetonius: “when he had put Messalina to death, he asked shortly after taking his place at the table why the empress did not come.”

 

[Some Manajerk]

I believe, like the thing with his horse, the declaring war on Neptune was another stunt, rather than him being crazy.

"oh, you all don't want to invade Britain? fine, you all can attack the sea and plunder some seashells."

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

Isn't a ton of the history of Caligula a mystery because he had so many enemies at the end of his reign that many of the most terrible tales of him are most likely BDSM erotic fan-fiction by written by some butthurt Roman Senators who wanted to slander his name? History is written by the survivors and all that.

Maybe I'm thinking of Nero. Or maybe it's both.

 

[GooglePuppet]

So I'm bored and watching some historical documentaries, on my day off, and It occured to me as I watching a documentary on caligula, he could probably not only be insane, but a lolcow of his day.
As to why:

1. He had an incestous relationship with his sister to the point he lmao when she died he made her an official roman godess.
2. he married a pregnant woman and named the baby from that after his sister
3. he had a long standing war with posiden god of the sea.
4. he was a degenerate.

but idk, if it where the times, idk could he be a lolcow if such an indivdual existed in modern times?
also what other historical figures would be considered lolcows or fit the lolcow definition?

I think this could be said about a lot of famous people like Rasputin.
Throughout history people have always liked a good cow milking. We used to watch executions for jesus sake.

 

[downwardspiral]

So I'm bored and watching some historical documentaries, on my day off, and It occured to me as I watching a documentary on caligula, he could probably not only be insane, but a lolcow of his day.
As to why:

1. He had an incestous relationship with his sister to the point he lmao when she died he made her an official roman godess.
2. he married a pregnant woman and named the baby from that after his sister
3. he had a long standing war with posiden god of the sea.
4. he was a degenerate.

but idk, if it where the times, idk could he be a lolcow if such an indivdual existed in modern times?
also what other historical figures would be considered lolcows or fit the lolcow definition?

Caligula was a respected and successful leader the senate just hated him so they slandered him this libel was picked up by christian-centric historians
1:normal by roman emperor standers
2:not even abnormal by modern standers
3: its called trolling
4:about average by roman emperor standers

people claimed to be related to Caligula to garner prestige that wouldn't happen if he was a retard

 

[Old Man]

Caligula was a respected and successful leader the senate just hated him so they slandered him this libel was picked up by christian-centric historians
1:normal by roman emperor standers
2:not even abnormal by modern standers
3: its called trolling
4:about average by roman emperor standers

people claimed to be related to Caligula to garner prestige that wouldn't happen if he was a retard

And how do we know what sort of a person Caligula really was, if our only sources are from biased individuals?

 

[garakfan69]

he may qualify less as a lolcow and more as a fail troll to the highest degree given he eventually got stabbed for his antics.

He riled people up so much that they stabbed him, that's the opposite of a fail troll.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Also Claudius for being so damn stupid that he, according to Suetonius: “when he had put Messalina to death, he asked shortly after taking his place at the table why the empress did not come.”

Tacitus said that Claudius had no idea that his wife had been out to death, and the freedmen who ran his government did so without telling him until after it had taken place because they feared that he would show mercy to her. Messalina live was a threat to Claudius' rule, and thereby the safety of the freedmen, who hated her after she connived to have one of them executed. She was a descendant of Augustus' sister, as well as being the granddaughter of Julius Caesar's niece. Claudius wasn't a descendant of Augustus at all. We don't know the veracity of most of her 'promiscuous' acts with other men, but we do know most of them had old and august names in the aristocracy, including some of the most revered names of the Republic. And some of them had claims of descent that outweighed Claudius' tenuous ties to Augustus and some of them had claims to descent (as Claudius did) from Marcus Agrippa, still one of the most popular men in recent Roman history and some even had claims to descent from Antony and Lepidus, the other Triumvirs. Most were potential rival claimants to the principate by blood or marriage, most had a considerable power base in the Senate which Claudius emphatically did not.

 

[Dory McKleen]

Probably just would be frightening considering he was the most powerful man in the world just about. Would be like if Trump was assraping little boys in the Oval Office on CSPAN or something.

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

I totally forgot a fun little fact, Julius cesar was criticzed not for boinking the king of babylon, but for being the bottom bitch, being gay wasnt a thing unless a roman man was taking the submissive role.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

King of Bithynia, actually. And it almost certainly wasn't true. Mudslinging was the great Roman political pastime in the days of the late Republic, and every single politician was routinely accused of being receptive homosexuals, corrupt, incestuous, and of being literal shit eaters.