Would CWC last 18 seconds in the ring with Hulk Hogan? -

[milkshark]

Just for old times sake I figured I make one last CWC thread, before we switch all of our focus to Hulkamania. So stop saying your prayers for a second, put the bottle of vitamins down and try to imagine Christian Weston Chandler going one on one in the squared circle with the Living Legend Hulk Hogan. Would CWC get any offense in, or would he succumb to the leg drop in no time? Would we get a Sonichu transformation in the ring, since Christian possesses the medallion, a trinket that contains as much power as Undertaker's urn? Would the manly beard of Colossal Chris~Chan be too much for Hulkamania to overcome??

Rest in Peace CWCki. I have to go stare in the mirror now and judge my own worthless existence. Thanks Chris.

 

[José Mourinho]

1 second

 

[Wilhelm]

two

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Surprisingly 5 seconds. One to hit the big boot, one to hit the leg drop and the three count it takes Chris to get pinned.

 

[LocalFireDept]

He'll spend 8 seconds saying an inane taunt like:
"Hulk Honan, I will, hm, I will drop-- I will Parachute down from The Waters Of The Sun and cruff-- Crushify You! I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!!!!!"

 

[Pally]

I think poor Hogan would be overwhelmed by Chris's odour, and loose consciousness.

 

[Yukon Cornelius]

It's too obvious how this plays out; Chris starts the match by calling Hogan something stupid, pickle suit related, and then unloads a ferocious right hand to Hulks face. Hulk immediately starts to "Hulk Up" and let's Chris hit him yet a second time. This is when Hogan will proceed to point directly at Chris with an incredulous look upon his face. Chris will attack a THIRD time, but Hogan will steer this blow aside, and unleash three swift rights of his own to the Chandler's head. Then, he will Irish whip all 300 pounds of Chris' Asbergers to the ropes, and hit him square in the mouth with the heel of his boot upon the rebound. Hogan will play to the now ecstatic crowd, signaling for more noise by way of hand gestures. He will finally jump up and "drop the leg" on Chandlers neck, essentially ending the match, save for the pin. Chandler will go to on to team up with the Ultimate Warrior and ask for a rematch, claiming the first match was "Jew-y"

 

[DrChristianTroy]

He'll spend 8 seconds saying an inane taunt like:
"Hulk Honan, I will, hm, I will drop-- I will Parachute down from The Waters Of The Sun and cruff-- Crushify You! I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!!!!!"

So an Ultimate Warrior promo?

 

[LocalFireDept]

So an Ultimate Warrior promo?

I always felt his speech was like an Ultimate Warrior promo in genreal. So, yeah.

 

[_blank_]

See, here's the thing though- Hulk Hogan is not some savage animal. Hulk Hogan is a true American. He is a true and honest gentleman. He would probably be kind enough to let Chris put on his little sassy tomgirl parade, and since he is so generous, probably even let the Ruckersville Rogue throw a few punches. They, of course, would be limp and ineffective and pose no threat to Hulkamania.

Then, after Chris is winded enough (like, half a minute), Hulk, being the benevolent man that he is, would simply put Chris is a sleeper hold and knock him out, similar to what happened to Richard Belzer back in the 80s.

Spoiler

 

[DeadMansHand]

Chris could pull off the win!!. He just needs the right gimmick, and a good Manager:

Spoiler

 

[Fishkill]

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Doing what, exactly?

 

[Night Terror]

Chris will be too busy giving handjobs behind the stadium to actually fight.

 

[milkshark]

Chris could pull off the win!!. He just needs the right gimmick, and a good Manager:

Spoiler

You win the internet.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Adrian Adonis started out as a badass though. Chris was always just fat.

Also Jimmy Hart would never turn on Hulkamania.

 

[PopOfColor]

How could the Hulk handle his mad moves?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

How could the Hulk handle his mad moves?

By saying his prayers, eating his vitamins and always believing in Hulkamania.

 

[JohnConstantine]

I think the real question is whether the Hulkster could survive 18 seconds with the CWCFighter

 

[DrChristianTroy]

I think the real question is whether the Hulkster could survive 18 seconds with the CWCFighter

Let me tell you something brother, the Hulkster has survived the Alliance to End Hulkamania in the Doomsday Cage Match. Hogan and the millions of Hulkamaniacs bodyslammed Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania 3. He even beat Randy Savage when the Mega Powers exploded.

As far as I can tell Chris is less of a threat than Buff Bagwell.