Would Prison Life be an Improvement? (Now a Poll) -

[LordCustos3]

Okay, not to sound all A-loggy....but consider how Our Pet Prisoner #66691138 is living right now; and how much better he'd be if he had been incarcerated instead.

In prison, you don't have to live in the same room as the warden.
In prison, the cells are occasionally dunged out and cleaned up.
In prison, he'd be encouraged to work out and get exercise.
In prison, the food is probably better.
In prison, he'd have easier access to library books.
In prison, he'd learn some social skills.
In prison, they teach you shop skills (making license plates, etc.)
In prison, he'd have access to smuggled in weed and speed and that would expand his horizons.
In prison, he'd get more sexytimes than he's getting now, because his Tomgirl persona would go over like a house on fire at a pyromaniacs convention.

Okay, that last one might be considered a downside, but hey, all the rest are improvements.
He'd come out of the experience a tougher, leaner, more socialized person with a few marketable menial skills.

So....except for the occasional un-asked for homogay conjugal visit....it all looks like it would be an improvement over his current situation.

Agree/Disagree? Expansions/Rebuttals?

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Re: Prison Life would be an Improvement?

When you say improvement, do you mean from an outside perspective or Chris' perspective? Because being encouraged to work out and denied access to fast food are not things Chris would consider an improvement. Plus he wouldn't have his video games to play; I'm not convinced Chris could survive without being able to play them.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Re: Prison Life would be an Improvement?

If you're talking about an environment where he's given clean accommodation, a structured routine, healthier food, exercise, learns applicable skills, disciplined and most of all taught that he's not the center of the universe and is expected to contribute, then some sort of military school would be more appropriate. He doesn't need to learn anything about combat or weapons handling, just the basic groundwork stuff.

Of course, Chris would hate every minute of it, but I can't help but feel that a hard hitting approach is the only way to reverse 30 years of terrible parenting and lack of discipline.

That said, apart from running over local business owners, Chris isn't actually harming anyone. He may irritate staff members in nearby shops, but in the grand scheme of things he's pretty harmless. The way I see it, if he wants to live his self indulgent, yet ultimately self destructive lifestyle, he's welcome to do that.

 

[Ignatius]

Re: Prison Life would be an Improvement?

Also, he would be forced to face a psychological help if needed. Yes, it would be run-of-mill state-mandated therapy but it would be an improvement to half-assed counciling by Rocky.

 

[Scarfies]

He'd come out of the experience a tougher, leaner, more socialized person with a few marketable menial skills.

Do you actually believe that?

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

will just have to wait and see what happens when natural selection takes its course if chris goes to jail...

 

[LordCustos3]

Me, being an optimist for once.

He'd come out of the experience a tougher, leaner, more socialized person with a few marketable menial skills.

Do you actually believe that?

He'd have no choice. If he doesn't smarten up, he'd "come out the joint feet first" as that great bard Ice-T would say.

Besides, wouldn't a Chris Dog covered in scars and jail tattoos be hilarious?

 

[JULAY]

If Chris went to prison, he would be beaten and raped on a daily basis. Even if he were put into PC or solitary, he would still be beaten and raped, just not as often. So no, prison life wouldn't be an improvement.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I honestly thought that if laziness and immaturity were his only problems, joining the military would have been a good thing because he would have to work hard and be disciplined if he was going to last. Unfortunately, he can't join the military due to medical reasons and he's too old for military school. Maybe some kind of boot camp experience they use to scare bad kids straight? It would work while he's there but as soon as he got out he'd go back to playing vidya all day.

A group home would be good, but we've discussed that possibility to death and unless he's willing and he finds some way to pay for it he's not going to one. He also wouldn't want to live with da slow-in-da-minds anyway.

We know how he acted in the holding cell with the singing and all, and prison would be much worse. His imprisonment may be the thing that drives him from being an eccentric to being full blown crazy, and he'll blame his being in prison to DANG DIRTY TROLLS. At best it would be like a really intense gym class with the other inmates teasing him and beating him up, and at worse he gets raped repeatedly or gets shanked.

Really, the best thing for Chris would be for him to get a part-time job, his own apartment and to start using his tugboat the way the government expects him to use it. However, that's several years of treatment away. Unfortunately, he's more likely to commit a crime and end up in prison or become homeless than actually reform himself. As much as I wish Chris could change and become a decent human being, I think he's a lost cause.

 

[Great Unclean Chris]

I don't know why people keep chris would get raped. Seriously guys, I don't think hes rapeable in any sense, his smell is nauseating first of all. I don't even think the booty warrior would want him

 

[Pascal]

I doubt prison life could be an improvement for anyone. American prisons are run by the inmates. They're filled with gangs trying to carve out little empires for themselves. In many ways, it's just as violent and dangerous as the streets. Chris would either have to learn how to navigate the perilous social structure (join a gang and learn how to be a criminal), or he'd be tormented beyond anything the worst A-Log could imagine.

Maybe in some other country with a different system, Chris might benefit from jail time, but giving him to a jail in the 'States would most likely be equivalent to throwing him in a cage full of wolves and saying "You all behave now, ya hear?"

 

[derpi]

I honestly thought that if laziness and immaturity were his only problems, joining the military would have been a good thing because he would have to work hard and be disciplined if he was going to last. Unfortunately, he can't join the military due to medical reasons and he's too old for military school. Maybe some kind of boot camp experience they use to scare bad kids straight? It would work while he's there but as soon as he got out he'd go back to playing vidya all day.

A group home would be good, but we've discussed that possibility to death and unless he's willing and he finds some way to pay for it he's not going to one. He also wouldn't want to live with da slow-in-da-minds anyway.

We know how he acted in the holding cell with the singing and all, and prison would be much worse. His imprisonment may be the thing that drives him from being an eccentric to being full blown crazy, and he'll blame his being in prison to DANG DIRTY TROLLS. At best it would be like a really intense gym class with the other inmates teasing him and beating him up, and at worse he gets raped repeatedly or gets shanked.

Really, the best thing for Chris would be for him to get a part-time job, his own apartment and to start using his tugboat the way the government expects him to use it. However, that's several years of treatment away. Unfortunately, he's more likely to commit a crime and end up in prison or become homeless than actually reform himself. As much as I wish Chris could change and become a decent human being, I think he's a lost cause.

Sorry to ask but where can one find the thing about the holding cell and the singing? ._.

 

[Male]

Just wanted to throw this out: it took Chris not even a whole day before he threw a tantrum when he was sent to a local jail.
Not prision...JAIL.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I honestly thought that if laziness and immaturity were his only problems, joining the military would have been a good thing because he would have to work hard and be disciplined if he was going to last. Unfortunately, he can't join the military due to medical reasons and he's too old for military school. Maybe some kind of boot camp experience they use to scare bad kids straight? It would work while he's there but as soon as he got out he'd go back to playing vidya all day.

A group home would be good, but we've discussed that possibility to death and unless he's willing and he finds some way to pay for it he's not going to one. He also wouldn't want to live with da slow-in-da-minds anyway.

We know how he acted in the holding cell with the singing and all, and prison would be much worse. His imprisonment may be the thing that drives him from being an eccentric to being full blown crazy, and he'll blame his being in prison to DANG DIRTY TROLLS. At best it would be like a really intense gym class with the other inmates teasing him and beating him up, and at worse he gets raped repeatedly or gets shanked.

Really, the best thing for Chris would be for him to get a part-time job, his own apartment and to start using his tugboat the way the government expects him to use it. However, that's several years of treatment away. Unfortunately, he's more likely to commit a crime and end up in prison or become homeless than actually reform himself. As much as I wish Chris could change and become a decent human being, I think he's a lost cause.

Sorry to ask but where can one find the thing about the holding cell and the singing? ._.

Should be on the CWCki, an email sent to an anonymous person pertaining to the events of 28 October 2011.

 

[teheviltwin]

Chris is a main-streamed Autist but he does have the capacity to learn. He was never given any of the specialist education he needed. This means that he has no concept of things like difference of thought. It is possible to teach Chris these things but it would require a hell of a lot of work. I've often considered putting together resources specifically tailored to Chris's needs but I imagine it wouldn't be the most popular course of action...

I'd just love to see Barb's face when her manbaby learns things like critical thinking. I'd also love to see Chris make accountability items.

I really hate Mommy Dearest.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Genie with the light brown hair, 6th paragraph

 

[Male]

Just imagine having a cell next to him: first comes the constant banging on the jail bars, the awful stench of what smells like rotten watermelon and feces, the bizarre ramblings that go from pretending to be a genie (???) to about various people named "Snyder, Megan, and Quickie" and how the ocean will be tainted by their blood by a possible cult named Chaotic Combo, then finally in the middle of the night you could have sworn you heard an unusually high pitched voice...singing faintly...

wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doo wakka doooooooooooooooooo

 

[Lucrid]

I don't know why people keep chris would get raped. Seriously guys, I don't think hes rapeable in any sense, his smell is nauseating first of all. I don't even think the booty warrior would want him

Rape is more about intimidating and dominating the victim than it is about any kind of sexual attraction. Chris would be an easy target, unfortunately.

 

[Some JERK]

Life in prison is all about violent people targeting and exploiting weaker people for status, material gain, and sex. Regardless of the prison, you can be sure that the instant Chris made it through the gate, he'd immediately become the weakest person there in every possible aspect, so it would be open season. He would quickly be victimized. He would be suckered into every con imaginable. In fact, i think that seeing just how much he'd fall for would become kind of a hobby for some (...imagine that.) He would almost certainly get his ass kicked (and then he would almost certainly snitch, which would get his ass kicked even more.)

Basically he'd become the rock-bottom lowest person on all of Inmate Mountain, and shit runs downhill.

 

[CatParty]

Anything would be an improvement. Less bugs and no barb. But would any improve his attitude? No.