Write a fanfiction about your favorite kiwis -


RI 360

I decided to write one about @Cricket, @DNJACK and @Dynastia completely on my own volition and not because Cricket printed out my entire internet search history and was in the middle of driving to my mother's place for a sit down. I've written it from her perspective.

When we arrived at the club, we got straight in and without hesitation went straight to the bar to begin our journey to being completely drunk.

As I stood next to Dynastia at the bar, I peeked down at her skirt, and with her heels on she was looking very sexy, and as I turned around I could see there was a few other men with their eyes on her, so I grabbed her by the ass to show them she was mine.

Even the barman was flirting with her which was obvious to me, but not to naive little Dyn, who mistakes it for being friendly and just giggles her way through it.

As the night went on, we were both all over each other, and I could see that Dyn was in a very horny mood. As she was dancing, she was moving her hips in a seducing way and looking around to see who could see her. After a while I noticed that she kept turning around and looking at a specific guy, who was staring back intently at her round behind all night.

I knew that Dyn was just playing around because this guy wasn't her type. Overly muscular with tight clothing on to show his body off, and manly stubble with a chiseled jaw, every woman's dream but definitely not Dyn's!

By now I had totally forgot about my drunken little talk with Dyn about giving her a free flirting pass at the club, and I was just thinking about getting her back home for some honest sex, but it very soon became clear to me that she had remembered and had other ideas.

Dyn leaned into my ear, "I hope the deal is still on. Is it?"

I knew what she was talking about but acted dumb, "I'm not too sure what you are talking about."

In a cute but annoyed voice she told me what she meant.

"YOU said that I could flirt with and convince a guy to have some fun. Don't tell me you've changed your mind!"

Even though it was my idea, I was actually quite shocked at her thinking about it and I started to get a little worried thinking what she had in mind.

"I'm not too sure about that. Don't you want to have fun with me? You look horny!"

"Don't change your mind now, feel how hard I am whilst I'm thinking about it."

She grabbed my hand and guided it up her skirt, then rubbed my tips along her throbbing girlcock.

She was right, she could cut glass with that thing, worryingly harder than I've ever made her.

"OK. Who do you have in mind?" I quizzed her with a devilish smile lighting up my face.

She put her finger on my lip to keep me quiet and whispered for me to go and wait by the edge of the dance floor and watch.

She slowly and and sexily strolled over with her long fine legs and I realised who she was heading towards.

As she got closer, the beast of a guy let out a cheeky smile and winked straight at her. My heart stopped for a second at the realisation. That's not her type! At least she didn't tell me that!

There she was flirting with the type of guy that I've always worried about. half of me was scared yet the other half felt like possibly the most excited I've ever felt. I couldn't help but watch on in interest.

I could see them both whispering into each others ears and laughing like school kids at whatever they were talking about. I saw her point at me and he laughed the hardest I had seen, before jokingly grabbing a big handful of her skirt covered booty. He then looked over at me with a solid glare.

He knew she was mine but also knew that there was nothing I could have done about him having a feel of Dyn's body, especially if she wanted it just as much.

It had hardly been a minute and I saw her pull his hand under her skirt to give him a feel while her other hand sensually rubbed across his manhood. It took me years to convince her to even wear a skirt out, and here she is letting an entirely new man easily have what took me a long time to get hold of. For some reason though, I was still more horny than ever, so much that I thought I was going to cum there and then.

After some more overly sexual touching, she strutted back over to me looking more confident than I've ever seen. "Hey baby, I'm taking DNJACK home with us for a threesome, what do you think of him?"

I felt a little intimidated and asked her "I'm surprised, I thought you didn't like muscly guys, I thought you liked guys like me?"

"Of course I like you but just look at him, he's absolutely gorgeous and he says he thinks I'm hot and that he thinks my ass is perfect! I think I want him!"

I gave in knowing that she had made her mind up and sadly agreed with what was my idea in the first place. It's all becoming too real.

How do you think the story should continue?
Last edited by a moderator:

RK 672

Dynastia closed the door behind him. His heart had been wracked with fear and apprehension the entire night, but as he heard the latch click shut he realised he was no longer nervous. "It is time." Cricket nodded and trembled, his throat catching. They'd hoped for this moment so long, but neither dreamed it would someday happen. All those coy flirtations, those glances pregnant with lust, this forbidden love was their culmination. "What goes on here, Dynastia... we can't let anybody know. If the forums found out... this is forbidden love" Dynastia nodded and gently stroked Cricket's cheek. "Nobody will find out, my sweetest dove. This will stay between you and I." Cricket nodded and melted into Dynastia's chubby, yet dominant arms as he tenderly led him to the bed. A soft murmur was the only resistance as Dynastia peeled his clothes away, gently, but confidently. "Oh Cricket, my darling little sweety-nuggins. I'm going to make tender, gentle love to you all night, and... I want us to keep our eyes open for it." Cricket nodded, overwhelmed by his love for Dynastia. As he wrapped his arms around Dynastia and melted back into the bed he whispered a single sentence... "I love you..."

WW 635

Here's one staring @Cthulhu @entropyseekswork and @DNJACK
Cthulhu pressed his thigh against Entropy’s. He liked being close to Entropy when he wasn’t paying attention to him. Entropy was busy smiling at DNJACK, who had just come back from London on business. They were waiting to be seated at the bar. DNJACK stirred her gin and tonic, oblivious to the way Entropy looked at her.

But Cthulhu was not.

Earlier that day, he had teased Entropy that he was ‘going to see his girlfriend’ that night.

“DNJACK is just a friend…” Entropy had said.

“No, she is not, babe. I see the way that you look at her…”

Entropy hadn’t met his eyes, but Cthulhu caressed the inside of his boyfriend’s wrist.

Cthulhu knew when they got together that Entropy was bisexual, and he was okay with it. Entropy was the closest that he had ever come to being monogamous—well, he was monogamous now—but he was open to whatever might happen with them…

Then Entropy had looked at him and held his gaze for a long, silent moment.

“I guess I couldn’t hide it, huh?”

“No, you talk about her like a teenager! Why don’t we invite her to bed with us?”

“Are you serious?”
“I wouldn’t mind, and looking at her…I don’t think she’d mind either…”
Now, Entropy watched as DNJACK took a tiny sip of her gin and tonic and Cthulhu got up to put his hand on the small of her back.

“Our seats are ready…” Cthulhu whispered to DNJACK. He felt the tension in her body when he caressed the small of her back. She turned to look at him, and he saw for the first time that she might have liked him as much as he thought she liked Entropy. Well, she had said that they were the most gorgeous companions that she had ever had, but Cthulhu figured that the attention had all been directed at Entropy.

It felt different when it seemed like she was attracted to him as well.

Entropy stood and held out his hand out to DNJACK, leading her over to their table. DNJACK sat down and the moonlight poured over her as she looked at them seated across from her.

“So you loved London then?” Entropy asked.
“Yes,” she smiled. “But it’s nice to be home, and going to my own bed.”

Cthulhu took a sip of wine, and wondered if she would prefer their bed if offered.

“I love London too; I haven’t been home for a long time though…” Cthulhu said.

“Don’t you miss your family?” DNJACK asked.

“I do, but Entropy is here and he’s my family so New York feels like home too.” He put his hand on Entropy’s thigh under the table, and Entropy placed his hand on top of his.

“You are such a gorgeous couple…” DNJACK said, taking another sip of her own drink.

Silence fell over the table; not out of awkwardness but simply because the food at their favorite restaurant was that good. Throughout the meal, Cthulhu shot lingering looks over at DNJACK and she returned them. She would smile, play with her hair and look away.

When dessert was served, they shared a decadent chocolate cake. Playfully, he and Entropy took turns feeding her, and with every bite she took looked like she was about to come. Cthulhu could only imagine what was going on in her mind.

“Excuse us?” he said, getting up and taking Entropy’s hand.

DNJACK nodded, and took the fork to take another sensually slow bite.

In the men’s room, Cthulhu pulled Entropy into a stall. He pressed him up against the door and kissed him, rubbing his cheek against Entropy’s to feel the burn from his stubble that he loved. Entropy was panting as he pulled away.

“I think we’re going to take her home tonight. Do you want to?” Cthulhu asked.
Entropy closed his mouth, and looked at him.

“I knew you were up to something. You paid so much attention to DNJACK…”
“I think she is up for it!”

“And what if she isn’t?”
“You are going to get lucky tonight anyway you look at it.”

He kissed Entropy again, and caressed the small of his back. Then they walked out of the stall holding hands and returned to the table to see DNJACK putting on her fur coat and looking up at them expectantly.

Entropy picked up his card and his receipt while Cthulhu got DNJACK’s luggage from coat check. Piling into the backseat of the Entropy’s company car, each took a seat on either side of her and Entropy put his hand on her lap.

“DNJACK, I am not even sure how to ask you this but,” Entropy started. “Cthulhu and I aren’t ready for the night to end. We want you to come home with us…”

“Sure!” DNJACK said. “It’ll be like a slumber party, and we can watch old movies and eat some of the gourmet goodies you guys keep in the fridge. I haven’t done any shopping…”

Cthulhu laughed, and DNJACK looked at him questioningly.

“No baby, we want you to spend the night with us. In our bed, and the three of us…”
“You mean a threesome?” DNJACK asked.

Entropy touched her cheek.

“I like you, DNJACK. I tried to deny it, but Cthulhu saw it in my eyes, and he asked me to invite you to join us…in bed…”


Part of the EDF communauty
True & Honest Fan
“Yikes! Here we goooooo!” Cricket exclaimed and went racing to the
bathroom. He sat his plump, white buttock down and delved into a People
“ahhh… finally” he sighed with relief.

45 minutes passed and still no sign of release.
HEP… Errrr… ahhhh! Christ when is this turd gonna pass!? He made every
effort in his little boy body to expel this demon poo from his innards.
He gripped the People magazine with all his might, nearly tearing the
pages of the paparazzi section.
Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open. Yipes!
“Well hello… Cricket” a seductive voice whispered from the doorway.
A shadowy figure stood leaning against the door frame. Her deep,
sensual voice grabbed Cricket immediately. His mind began racing and a
nervous sweat began pouring from his face.
“Nn – @Null … is that you? wha- what are you still doing up…?”
She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy
shower. However she couldn’t with her brother near by… and any sensible
woman would never allow her own brother to see her in the nude. Right?
“Oh I felt dirty from flyin’ with Likeicare all day… ya ever feel dirty Cricket?”
“Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO I HAVE NOT!”

RK 672

Cricket sighed happily as Dynastia entered him gently and tenderly and began sliding slowly in and out, his thrusts timed perfectly to match the unpredictable and ravenous beating of his aspartame-fueled heart arrhythmia. "Oh Dynastia," gasped Cricket "Why can't we be doing this forever? Why can't we let our forbidden love run wild?" "Shush, my sweetest dove," whispered Dynastia "I'd be proud to be seen with you on my arm, anytime, anywhere..." "Oh, Dynastia!" Cricket clutched him tightly, clinging hard as they climaxed together in ecstasy. They melted together sweatily into each other's arms, snuggling and petting, overwhelmed with love and affection and happy, eager thoughts of their future life together. "All this lovemaking has left me starving, my love. Are you hungry, my beautiful boy?" asked Dynastia, tracing a fingertip slowly across Cricket's full, pouting lips "Oh, I wouldn't.. I wouldn't mind getting some Popeye's, but those places are always full of... well, you know..." "African-Americans?" asked Dynastia "Yes, that."

WW 635

“Yikes! Here we goooooo!” Cricket exclaimed and went racing to the
bathroom. He sat his plump, white buttock down and delved into a People
“ahhh… finally” he sighed with relief.

45 minutes passed and still no sign of release.
HEP… Errrr… ahhhh! Christ when is this turd gonna pass!? He made every
effort in his little boy body to expel this demon poo from his innards.
He gripped the People magazine with all his might, nearly tearing the
pages of the paparazzi section.
Without warning the bathroom door suddenly burst open. Yipes!
“Well hello… Cricket” a seductive voice whispered from the doorway.
A shadowy figure stood leaning against the door frame. Her deep,
sensual voice grabbed Cricket immediately. His mind began racing and a
nervous sweat began pouring from his face.
“Nn – @Null … is that you? wha- what are you still doing up…?”
She appeared in nothing but a towel, seemingly ready to take a steamy
shower. However she couldn’t with her brother near by… and any sensible
woman would never allow her own brother to see her in the nude. Right?
“Oh I felt dirty from flyin’ with Likeicare all day… ya ever feel dirty Cricket?”
“Y-Yes, I mean NO! NO! NO I HAVE NOT!”
Why would you write this? Why would anyone write this?

WW 635

This isn't quite a fanfic so much as a rough translation of what was pieced together on an ancient tablet:

And, ye, @Ride did look down upon creation and noticed that they had grown lame and kinda faggy. In his mighty and infinite wisdom he proclaimed "and verily I shall destroy the furfags and the pedophiles and the deviants" and he set out his Prophets of Dox against them. His Prophets did dox and @Ride did dox and verily threads were made about furfags and pedophiles and deviants. The good word of the Doxers spread and humanity was saved or some shit.

Randall Fragg

Staff Member
True & Honest Fan
@Internet War Criminal waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to @Null were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
@Internet War Criminal was a shitposter for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the internets and he said to @Dynastia “I want to dox the trannies.”
@Dynastia said “No! You will BE RAPED BY TRANNIES”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the forum based of the Kiwi Farms he knew there were trannies.
“This is @Null” the radio crackered. “You must dox the trannies!”
So @Internet War Criminal gotted his protien powder and logged on.
“HE GOING TO DOX US” said the trannies
“I will shitpost at him” said the @entropyseekswork and he fired the rocket missiles. @Internet War Criminal posted at him and tried to dox him. But then the website crashed and they were trapped and not able to dox.
“No! I must dox the trannies” he shouted
The radio said “No, @Internet War Criminal You are the trannies”
And then @Internet War Criminal had a girl penis.


>I was only 9 years old
>I loved @Dynastia so much, I read all his posts and comments
>I pray to @Dynastia every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"@Dynastia is love" I say; “@Dynastia is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for @Dynastia
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s @Dynastia

>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “jfc gross don't write porn from your mother's perspective”
>He grabs me with his powerful kiwi hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for @Dynastia

LD 3187

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor called @Techpriest was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, @Internet War Criminal , a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

@Techpriest smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

@Techpriest was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, @Techpriest , wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

@Techpriest lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity for not eating the hat.

Semper Fi. p.s. close the borders and eat the fucking hat


Exceptionally Overachieving Mexican
True & Honest Fan
Speaking of @Techpriest here's an excerpt from his diary dated November 19th 2016:

When I was a kid, I used to wake up with blood all over my sheets. I had no idea where it was coming from. I thought I was being abducted by aliens or something at night. I even had vivid dreams of being kidnapped and of seeing things in my room.

One night, I was sleep walking. I walked up to the closet next to my parent's bedroom and started banging on the door. "I'M TEARING THE HOUSE DOWN," I screamed. My dad runs out of their room, grabs me and asks me what I want. "My toy. I can't find my toy." My mom walks me back to my room. "What toy?" she asks. "My toy, I can't find it." The next morning, I awoke with my earlobe torn open where it attaches to my ear. There was blood everywhere. How did I nearly rip my ear off and not wake up?

Years later, when I was in college, my dad admitted that he drugged me. A lot. So I'd pass out and he could fuck me.

I wasn't mad. I was curious. Where did he get the drugs and how did he administer them? I'll spare you the details, but I asked for some and he wasn't really in a position to be able to refuse. There was a girl in one of my classes that I had my eye on for some time. A gorgeous tranny with a tight little ass and shoulders like a linebacker. She wore giant horn-rimmed glasses, but her cobalt blue eyes were always peeking from above them, staring right into your soul. She was a goddess with a bulge the size of a softball. So I fucking drugged her.

I managed to get her out into the school's commuter parking lot and get her into my van. She was completely out of it by the time we got to my apartment. I dragged her inside, took off her clothes, and tied her to my bed. I drenched her nubile body in some cooking oil, paying careful attention to tweaking her large pancake nipples to get them nice and hard.

I taped up garbage bags on all the windows so the room was completely dark. I took off my clothes and I laid next to her. She smelled amazing. I sniffed her girlcock. The scent was intoxicating. Still out cold. Did I give her too much? Now I'm afraid. Afraid that I have gone too far, scared that I've become a monster. There's no turning back. I will never have a relationship again where I don't remember what I'm about to do. I sob uncontrollably. I'm finally going to show that IWC and Null that I am NOT a cuck.

Fuck it. I'm not going to pussy out now. Too late to turn back. I set up my video camera, turn on a strobe light, put on my dead mother's clothes and straddle her perfect body. I squat over her stomach. I massage her perfect tits. And I squeeze out a large shit right on her belly. I'm so fucking hard now. With each undulation of my bowels, forth comes an obscene quantity of brown ass mud, covering her belly with my shit essence.

I'm so close now. If I even move, I'll explode. I aim my raging cock at her face and gush more cum than I ever have in my life. Her face is covered in my ejaculate. Little bubbles of air appear with each exhalation. I love her. But I can't keep her.

I untie my fecal companion. I smile. And she smiles back.

My dad's "drugs" were fake. But she played along. She knew what I was trying to do.

"I thought you were going to fuck me" she said.

Rage. Anger. I can't even do this right. I grab my pocket knife. I jam it into my cock. She screams with delight, grabs my mangled member and puts it in her mouth. Blood gushes from my cock. She tongues my new dick hole. I cum buckets. I finger her asshole but she screams "more! more." Put whole fist in her ass. Go deeper. She moans. Something rips. She cums on my chest with her girlcock. And dies.

Happy Hillary Clinton Election Day.

LD 3187

Anything For A Submarine

@Melchett: Hey, there @AN/ALR56, there is a horny female @Lackadaisy over there that has been itching for sexual intercourse with human, I dare you to satisfy that @Lackadaisy.

@AN/ALR56: what's in it for me?

@Melchett: you know that 'shiny' Corvette you've always wanted? I'll use my yesterday's casino winnings to buy it for you! You must do EVERYTHING that the @Lackadaisy wants to do sexually. It likes more than just intercourse...

@AN/ALR56: Submarine! my life long dream! I never been able to afford one myself! This is like my only chance like EVER to get one! It would be worth it, I accept your offer! I will perform sexual activities with that @Lackadaisy!

@Melchett: you'll need this...

Narrator: @Melchett gives @AN/ALR56 a small electronic device

@Melchett: this device will covert @Lackadaisy's screeches into English speech so You can understand what@Lackadaisy wants you to do. you must not stop until @Lackadaisy says she's satisfied, and this Pokemon wants alot! good luck!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 walks over to the @Lackadaisy.

@AN/ALR56: hey there @Lackadaisy, my name is @AN/ALR56. I hear you want to perform sexual activites with a human?

@Lackadaisy: Screeech, yes you are correct!

@AN/ALR56: I will satisify that, I will perform Sexual activities with you!

@Lackadaisy: screeech, Ok! I am so happy! but first, I would feel more comfortable to perform sexual activites at my home, Fire Island!

@AN/ALR56: that is 500 miles away, how are we going to get there?

@Lackadaisy: screeech, I will trasport you, you ride my back and I will fly you to Jewland!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 gets on @Lackadaisy's back and @Lackadaisy flies up into the air, @AN/ALR56 rides @Lackadaisy until they reach Jewland.

@AN/ALR56: Ok, @Lackadaisy@Lackadaisy, Lets begin! what first?

@Lackadaisy: screeech, the first is rather simple, I want to facesit you for the first 30 minutes!
Narrator: @AN/ALR56 thinks this is a rather odd request. even though he knows @Lackadaisy wants more than just intercourse, he didn't think it would be this way out there. @AN/ALR56 agrees to @Lackadaisy facesitting him because doing everything @Lackadaisy wants was part of the deal, and @AN/ALR56 lays on the ground.

@AN/ALR56: Ok, Ready @Lackadaisy!

Narrator: @Lackadaisy sits on @AN/ALR56's face. @Lackadaisy's butt is against @AN/ALR56's face.

Narrator: 10 minutes into @Lackadaisy facesitting @AN/ALR56... @Lackadaisy has a request.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, for the rest of the 20 minutes of me facesitting you, @AN/ALR56, I want you to keep licking my butt, and not just the cheeks, the butt-hole too...

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 starts licking @Lackadaisy's anus, and continues to lick @Lackadaisy's butt for the rest of the 20 minutes of @Lackadaisy facesittin him.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, time's up, time for the next sexual activity.

Narrator: @Lackadaisy gets off of @AN/ALR56's face.

@AN/ALR56: Next?

@Lackadaisy: screeech, next up, I want you to lick my vagina. Lick it like you love it!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 rapidly licks @Lackadaisy's vagina.

Narrator: 45 minutes later, @AN/ALR56 still licking @Lackadaisy's vagina.

@Lackadaisy: Screeech, Now, stick your tongue way up my vagina, as far as it will go!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 sticks his tongue way up @Lackadaisy's vagina. then @Lackadaisy releases female ejaculation and quite a bit gets into @AN/ALR56's Mouth

@Lackadaisy: screeech, now swallow all that cumm!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 swallows @Lackadaisy's female ejaculation.

@Lackadaisy: Screeech, now for the best part, Intercourse

@AN/ALR56: Ok, @Lackadaisy as you wish!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 and @Lackadaisy have sexual intercourse for an hour.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, I Just had an orgasm!

Narrator: @Lackadaisy's vagina squeezes @AN/ALR56's Penis, followed by a large amount of female ejaculation.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, almost done, @AN/ALR56! one last request, I will poop upon your face to end it off!

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 thinks, "another odd request, first facesitting and now poop related sexual activities, this @Lackadaisy has a few fetishes that not everybody has! but if I want that submarine..."

@AN/ALR56: as you wish @Lackadaisy, go ahead and poop on my face.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, here it comes! there is a lot in there!

Narrator: @Lackadaisy puts her butt close to @AN/ALR56's face and poops. a lot of poop comes out onto @AN/ALR56's face, enough to cover @AN/ALR56's face completely.

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 gets up, some of @Lackadaisy's poop fall off @AN/ALR56, But his face is still pretty smeared with @Lackadaisy's poop.

@Lackadaisy: screeech, no time to clean your self up, I will take you back home.

Narrator: @AN/ALR56 rides @Lackadaisy back home.

@Melchett: I see you're back, @AN/ALR56!

@Melchett: what happened to your face?

@AN/ALR56: you don't wanna know!
@Melchett: Hey @Lackadaisy! did @AN/ALR56 do everything you say?

@Lackadaisy: screeech! yes, he did! no questions asked! no arguing back either! It was perfect! he obeyed EVERY command!

@Lackadaisy: screeech, I thought I would NEVER get to do any of these things with a human! Thank You so much @AN/ALR56! you made me the happiest tranny in the world!

@AN/ALR56: you should thank @Melchett here!

@AN/ALR56: Let's go get that Corvette I promised!

Narrator: @Melchett & @AN/ALR56 go to the submarine dealership, @AN/ALR56 Picks out a random submarine, who even knows the difference between them anyway and @Melchett Pays for it as she promised!

@AN/ALR56: AT LAST! my very own submarine! I had to have sexual relations with @Lackadaisy, but at least I have a submarine!


About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino