Write a scary story in two sentences -

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

You wake up to find yourself somehow baked into a giant cake.

Just above you, unmistakably is the bare ass of Christian Weston Chandler, ready to smash into your face.

You're looking at Kiwi Farms because you've got nothing else to do. Someone brings up the specter of cake farts.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

You're looking at Kiwi Farms because you've got nothing else to do. Someone brings up the specter of cake farts.

The kiwi farmer sees a brown, smelly portal open up on their monitor. They're suddenly sucked inside, and deposited in the front yard of 14 Branchland court

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Joshua Connor Moon asked the stewardess where his plane was headed after realising, several hours after take off, that somehow, despite airport security and all the checks, he had boarded the wrong flight.
"New Zealand" was her reply.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

2 Kiwi Farms users reproduced. They called their autistic child Chris.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Thanks to the lockdown, I've really enjoyed working from home. The place smells a little funky though, without the cold storage we have at the morgue.

 

[Begemot]

I went to a restaurant to eat something. There was no vegan option....

 

[Andrew Neiman]

I think you're beautiful and I would like to get to know you better.

Sincerely, Russell Greer

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

I logged on to Kiwifarms and realised that all the boards were gone, except for one. With baited breath, I clicked the link which spelled out, in 18 point comic sans glowing font, 'Articles and News'.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Suddenly, Boogie appeared on the patio, wearing nothing but a speedo.
He lunged forward, screaming "it's time to make the donuts!"

 

[TurdFondler]

I woke up dead today. I was so hungry.

 

[Governor Jeb Bush]

A strawberry spoke to me once and said "Hi"

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

With mounting horror, I realised that someone had deviated from the rules and written a story in one sentence! Yes, it was true, @can't breef was a deviant!

 

[Slimy Time]

You just finished your date at Olive Garden and look at the clock. You realise that you mistimed it and you have 2 hours left with your client.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

You open the letter. It has one dollar stapled to it and simply says: "I can give you a better life."

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

As you get ready to pack the can of Copenhagen, the can flickers and reveals it was kayak grape all along.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Sometimes the evil isn't on the other people...
It's inside you

 

[Governor Jeb Bush]

Waiting for the climax had been a tiring interlude, but finally Amber showed her forbidden legs.

 

[Tiamat]

Came back to try n write something else:

The sores on my back festered as they continued to ooze and grow. No one has found me yet.

 

[No Ma'ams Land]

You lurch awake, at your desk, from a very drunken stupor. Your browser tabs: Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin... and Fchan.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

You hear a splash.

"What was that?", you inquire.