Write a scary story in two sentences -

[Quantum Diabetes]

As you're scrolling twitter sitting on a public toilet, someone kicks in the door two stalls down.
They say "No point in letting all this corn go to waste!" as wet slurping noises begin

 

[Adamska]

After a tough decision, you decide to have an abortion. Why do you hear screaming?

 

[JambledUpWords]

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have sex on OnlyFans in order to support sex workers. The money earned from the endeavor is donated to Mermaids UK.

 

[Haramburger]

so you makin out with ur honey phone rings "wut r u doing wit my daughter?"

U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded" - THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

I searched and was not disappointed

 

[KhorneFlakes]

A girl asks her partner if he's a pedophile. He tells her that's a big word for a 5 year old.

 

[Eris!]

President Ocasio-Cortez.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

We live in the best of all possible worlds. No second sentence necessary.

 

[CrippleThreat]

Today, we are here to honor someone special. Ms. Christine Weston Chandler, we present you with this, the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

After a trip to the gym I drank a protein shake. I am a lactose intolerant.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

"CONSCIOUSNESS UPLOAD COMPLETE."
When your friends and family died, when the sites they had used to communicate with you fell into obsolescence, and when your only source of stimulation and social contact were these old repositories of the worst of human depravity, then you at last understood why so few had signed up for immortality.

 

[StreetGangsta]

I took a big fat shit in the bathroom. I forgot to take off my pants.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Null decided to make an OnlyFans account to support the Farms. It stars him and his harem of landwhales.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Our first priority is the health and safety of you, your families, and our team members. Due to local and state regulations, a face mask is required while shopping...

 

[OvercookedBacon]

"We're from the government. We're here to help."

 

[The Clown Dimension]

There's something behind you.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

I decided to overclock my computer and adjust CPU vcore. A thin blue smoke starts wafting out of my computer.

 

[Underestimated Nutria]

Today, we are here to honor someone special. Ms. Christine Weston Chandler, we present you with this, the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

I was at 14 Branchland Court, making love but trying to keep the noise down. Until Christine walked in.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

After death, you see a note on paper taped to the Pearly Gates.

Because we care about your safety, we have closed all gatherings, and require you to wear a face mask and practice social distancing.

 

[JambledUpWords]

The ACLU and Human Rights Committee obtain ownership of PornHub and OnlyFans. Everyone is now forced to watch troon porn in order to not be transphobic, and it’s included in an Executive Order under the [CURRENT YEAR] troon president, and is backed by the Supreme Court and Congress.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Back in the '90s, whenever a man died of a choke-'n'-stroke, his family would immediately assume it was a professional hit - a suspicion reinforced, in their minds, by the complete absence of evidence that anyone else was ever there.
These days, we know better, and violent porn and BDSM is more popular and widely known than ever, so when men die in dangerous masturbation games it's never even questioned... making the perfect environment if such an assassin WERE really operating.