"Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. Tesch -

[DykesDykesChina]

Self/vanity publishing makes it possible - if you are somehow able to fill a grand number of pages with words, you can have a book "published". Naturally, this has attracted "writers" who make Tesch seem like Faulkner in comparison.

1. Moon People by Dale M. Courtney

This Book is based on the turning point for Earth into a new era of space travel and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. The story focuses on one Man by the Name of David Braymer and his adventures from High school teacher to 1st Science Officer on board the Lunar Base 1 Mobile Base Station and his encounters with Alien Life forms through out our universe and the space Battle of all battles David experiences. I hope you enjoy the many adventures of David Braymer and his conquest in space and our journey into the Age of Aquarius.

What is it with idiots and capitalization??? I understand it's tricky in German, because we have somewhat complex rules about it, but in English you only capitalize 1.) names, 2.) words at the beginning of a sentence. Why can't people like Dale and Chris'tard get this into their heads?

Is this the worst book ever?


2. Org's Odyssey by Duke Otterland (dat name...)

Prince Jeremy

Why does an otter have antlers....? Oh wait I shouldn't bring logic into all this.


3. The Legend of Rah and the Muggles by Nancy Stouffer

ORIGINAL WORD DO NOT STEAL

An in-depth review


4. Hans Aha's by Hans Klawatsch (German example)

What Gail is to America, Hans "clavacs" Klawatsch is to Germany. Dude spent several years (ca. 2005-200 spamming forums with his claims of being tortured by the government with microwave cannons as well as excerpts from his (self-published) "philosophical" writings which meander between being incomprehensible and just plain dumb.

BTW the spelling of the title should be "Hans' Ahas" (The "Ahas" of Hans). When it was pointed out to clavacs that he put the apostrophe in the wrong place, he got quite pissed and said that this was his original personal way of spelling. In fact, he always got pissed when he was not admired unconditionally, and since nobody with the exception of a single sociology professor admired him, he was pissed a lot...

 

[CalmMyTits]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Don't forget Danny Wheeler. He has his own ED article (DBoyWheeler) and he wrote a trilogy of books that is a ripoff of other things (much like Tesch's own work) He's also an asspie who was unable to respond to criticism for his shitty art, and apparently was unable to take criticism for his shitty writing, either. He also published with PublishAmerica.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Don't forget Stainek!

 

[WWWWolf]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

He also published with PublishAmerica.

PublishAmerica as a whole gets a special mention. Granted, a very large number of the authors who got published through them ended up there because they were green and just didn't know better (and subsequently felt pretty silly), but some of the folks like DBoy who got suckered by PA were genuine lolcows of Tesch calibre with golden-word syndrome.

Night Travels of the Elven Vampire - the author of this fine tome just couldn't take criticism. Terrible writing all around, and as a crowning achievement of the whole thing PA decided to put a badly shopped Legolas on the cover.

A few years ago there was also some guy who wrote a book on his experiences as a porn director (or something like that), and he made a bit of a media blitz about that thing, and said he'd sell zillions of books. (PA just isn't equipped to do that. They're terrible at delivering book orders unless the author buys them and sells to customers personally. Vanity press, and all that.) Of course that caused a little bit of a ruckus with other PA authors, because PA advertises itself as a Christian-friendly publisher.

And let's not even get to the hilarity of the sting manuscripts, Atlanta Nights and Crack of Death

 

[OR 345]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Antigua: The Land of Fairies Wizards and Heroes by Denise Ellis.

The writing is awful, worse than Maradonia. At least Tesch had the sense to include chapter breaks. From what I hear, this book has none. I think my friend got her hands on a copy (same friend who got Maradonia, of course), but I don't think she's gone through it yet.

 

[Surtur]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

He also published with PublishAmerica.

PublishAmerica as a whole gets a special mention. Granted, a very large number of the authors who got published through them ended up there because they were green and just didn't know better (and subsequently felt pretty silly), but some of the folks like DBoy who got suckered by PA were genuine lolcows of Tesch calibre with golden-word syndrome.

Night Travels of the Elven Vampire - the author of this fine tome just couldn't take criticism. Terrible writing all around, and as a crowning achievement of the whole thing PA decided to put a badly shopped Legolas on the cover.

A few years ago there was also some guy who wrote a book on his experiences as a porn director (or something like that), and he made a bit of a media blitz about that thing, and said he'd sell zillions of books. (PA just isn't equipped to do that. They're terrible at delivering book orders unless the author buys them and sells to customers personally. Vanity press, and all that.) Of course that caused a little bit of a ruckus with other PA authors, because PA advertises itself as a Christian-friendly publisher.

And let's not even get to the hilarity of the sting manuscripts, Atlanta Nights and Crack of Death

Apprently, LaVerne Ross likes to review her own work as well...

Just in time for Halloween. THis is a good read for any age. Scary, and starts off with a good hair raising scare. Keeps you turning the pages wondering what is going to happen next. The main charactor..is yummy. Women are dying for his touch. He has a soft heart for others too. Why when he passed the homeless man, sleeping on the bench, he gave him money and his coat. Hes a famous author too. When he mets Elspeth, he learns to smile again. To love. She is a paranormal expert. Lots of scary stuff in this book.Good descriptive writing, and well written. Can't wait for the sequel.

 

[Stratochu]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

DrMusic2 for one.

 

[Bugaboo]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

I was gonna say Rah and the muggles but then that book was already on there.
And the word Muggles is used for two entirely different things so the author can't sue Rowling no matter how hard she tries.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Duke Otterland.

 

[c-no]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

To see two books (The Legend of rah and the Muggles and Antigua: Land of the Fairies Wizards and Heroes) from TV Tropes so bad it's horrible literature page makes me somewhat amused. Also Duke Otterland, dat name indeed.

 

[OR 345]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Oh, didn't know Antigua ended up on TVTropes. It apparently came up when my friend searched for Maradonia.

(For that matter, it sounds like Maradonia isn't on the list? Why?)

 

[c-no]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Oh, didn't know Antigua ended up on TVTropes. It apparently came up when my friend searched for Maradonia.

(For that matter, it sounds like Maradonia isn't on the list? Why?)

I'll let this copy+paste line from TV Tropes explain it: "So Bad, It's Good: Readers have been known to laugh at its quality (or lack thereof)"
Antigua itself got a mention underneath "The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists" entry in the literature section of the So Bad, It's Horrible page. So to sum up for the latter, Denise Brown Ellis has terrible writing skills, the paper used to make her books are better off being used as toilet paper for my rear, kindling for a hobo who needs warmth at night, or as a target for U.S. military recurits on a shooting range.

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

I think nancy stouffer definitely qualifies, even if she did disappear after her lawsuits against rowling. Her sheer stupidity, incompetence, insanity, and utterly, utterly apalling writing mark her as easily being a peer of tesch.

Here is a sample (and remember, this is all supposed to be from a kids book)

Spoiler

On the far side of the earth Aura citizens fought great wars with other nations. They had lived a peaceful coexistence with nations throughout the world for one hundred years. A worldwide peace agreement, designed by the Congress of United People, C.O.U.P., had kept Aura safe from other nations and colonies much more powerful, until peace and prosperity were interrupted by an unhappiness that spread through the population.

As prosperity grew, so did the need to have even more material possessions. Greed began to eat-away the moral foundation that maintained the peace. Within a few years the need for power and control infected the Congress like a virus. C.O.U.P. was established after the Great Island Wars to prevent any nation or colony from attacking another without good cause. Every nation and colony had agreed to live by the rules in the Constitutional Peace Charter.

The Peace Charter had been signed in blood by every leader, of every nation or colony, so that no leader would ever forget how important it was to keep peace throughout the world. It had always been respected, because of the bloodshed by the Forefathers of every citizen on earth. For generations this Charter was revered, but as the privileged youth began to assume positions of power, its’ importance became diminished. The simplicity of the Charter is what made it possible for every nation and colony, with many different forms of governments, to accept it as the most important part of their own laws. It was created to allow nations the right to have their own beliefs and traditions without criticism, or threat from any other country. It respected and guaranteed human rights, and supplied guidelines to protect natural resources. It encouraged cultural, educational, and artistic exchanges, and guaranteed fair-trading. It supported emergency help, and ample food and medical supplies worldwide.

Representatives of C.O.U.P. met one time every year, unless there was an emergency that needed their attention. It was headed by a democratically elected leader given the title of Commander. Its headquarters were always located in the country in which the Commander lived, and at this time in history the headquarters were on Aura. The Constitutional Peace Charter had prevented governments from taking their disputes to battlefields. Even though there had not been any threat of war in years, there had always remained tension caused by citizens with a need to have things that only a privileged few seemed to possess. When world citizens began to loose hope in their ability to someday experience what privilege could give them, they became restless and weary.

Before long, unrest within countries all over the world began to threaten the stability that C.O.U.P. had managed to preserve for a century. Leadership evolved into a representative body for the wealthy minority, who began to believe they were untouchable. The average workers and citizens out-numbered the wealthy by millions, and as they became more impatient and angry with their government leadership, they became more convinced that they were going to have to force the changes they needed. Militias formed, they gathered arms, and before anyone could stop them, their anger turned to violence. They considered themselves true freedom fighters, an "Army of the People". These revolutionaries were determined to reclaim land taken from their families by the government. A law of "eminent domain" gave them the right to buy land from private citizen’s to build schools and roads, but they were abusing their power. They used this law to literally steel land from property owners, and had even forced people to move from their homes under this law. They didn’t use the property to build schools or roads. They were selling these homes and the land to construction companies, who then built mansions that sold for millions of dollars. The government had become "Robinhood" for the rich, and the "Army of the People" was determined to reclaim what belonged to ordinary citizens, but what they would really accomplish is the near total destruction of human life.

Militia leaders were soon tracked down and imprisoned. Their families banished from communities, and their children shunned by others who were not willing to risk supporting them for fear of retribution. Even though the governments’ military had been fairly successful causing damage to the "Army of the People" and their leadership, the determination that drove them had already lit the fire of insanity that surrounds every war.

To most of Aura's citizens it appeared that all of this unrest had occurred suddenly, when it had actually taken generations of corruption and political maneuvering to tear apart the very fibers of the Constitutional Charter. This Charter made democracy possible for all nations, and gave its citizens inalienable rights. It was masterfully written to insure that all citizens would have a voice in the control their governments, and was intended to prevent government intrusion into private beliefs and lives. As government authorities began to interfere more with the lives of citizens, a world war unlike anything known to man was looming in the near future, but Aura’s citizens had no idea just how bad it would become for them.

Aura citizens had lived for generations untouched by any of the horrors they read about from history. They had been comfortable for so many years, and there was a part of them that believed that if any war did take place, it wouldn’t touch their homeland, nor would it really affect their lives in any big way. They had no way of knowing how wrong they were, until it was too late.

Average citizen’s, worldwide, firmly believed that C.O.U.P. had become a very ineffective organization to represent them. They still believed that even though they hadn’t done other things very well that they could and would prevent any threat of nuclear or biological weapons from ever becoming part of the doom and gloom of the war that was now spreading. A war that was raging, and had now had reached the peaceful continent of Aura. Again, the citizen’s were not only wrong, but they were completely unprepared for what would come next. War had cost them the freedom, and liberties they had worn as you would a comfortable pair of old shoes. The "Great Thirty Year War" would be recorded as the most vicious and evil in the history of Mankind. Senseless battle, after battle, had nearly destroyed everything, everywhere.

Although the C.O.U.P. arms treaties had boasted the elimination of nuclear and biological weapons, it was the reassembly and use of such weapons that brought this anguishing war to a devastating conclusion.

Forest and valleys, farms and villages, lay in waste. Only barren battlegrounds were visible where beautiful estates had dotted the landscape, and productive farms once thrived. Here the lingering radiation made it nearly impossible for ordinary human life to be sustained.

The nuclear holocaust had blanketed the sky with dark, poisonous clouds of radiation. The sun disappeared behind the radiated eclipse just as Aura citizens fled their homeland. Beaten, tired, and nearly starving, they deserted the ruins, leaving behind the imprisoned "have-nots" who had taken refuge in caves after the bombing had begun. They were injured, and handicapped for many reasons. The unfortunate soul’s who were considered to be ethnically impure, too old, or simply undesirable for one reason or the other, were abandoned.

No mercy was shown to even the children of the abandoned citizens. Their cries for help went unrecognized as they rang out with piercing screams for help. Despair painted their faces like a mask of terror. Moans of pain and anguish echoed in the air with dizzying repetitiveness, as the "have-nots" struggled to clear the debris from the entrance of their cavernous prisons.

The self-appointed "chosen-ones" gathered in crowds along the shoreline to escape on the few remaining cruise ships, where most of them had once enjoyed luxurious vacations with their families. Now all that these luxury liners represented to them was a way to escape Aura. They pushed and shoved, trampling one another like a stampede of cattle to secure their place on a vessel. Ladders and ropes, and planks of all kinds, were filled with people trying to crawl and climb aboard.

The ships captain’s had armed, and locked themselves inside control rooms to maintain absolute command of the vessel’s. As the ships filled to an overflowing capacity, the command was given to leave the port. Planks broke away from the ship decks, while desperate people futilely reached out for a helping hand to lift them aboard. Others were left still clinging to ropes and ladders that dangled along the sides of these iron ocean monsters. As the mammoth ships floated off to sea, the ropes and ladders were cut from their sides, dropping the desperate stowaway’s into the murky and stormy water, never to be seen again.

It is hard to imagine that anyone left behind on Aura could have survived, but they did. The power of the human spirit was never more vivid than it is now, nearly five hundred years later. Against all odds, a primitive generation of human beings would evolve. "Muggles", ancestors of the "have-nots", survived the devastation of the war, and still thrive on Aura. They have never experienced the warmth of sunlight, nor the beauty of an evening sky filled with glittering stars. Their world is lit only by moonlight shining through a purple haze left behind by nuclear warfare.

 

[WWWWolf]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Here is a sample (and remember, this is all supposed to be from a kids book)

Perhaps she'd have later made the "Good Bits version". You know, like how her grandfather used to read the book to her. Leaving away all the political bullshit.

And here's another sample (and remember, this was supposed to be written by a normal author and not a cash-grabbing opportunist):

Trademarks and © 1984, 1987, 2001 by N. K. Stouffer
ISBN 1-58989-400-6

MUGGLE™, MUGGLES™, MUGGLES-BYE™, and The Legend of RAH and the MUGGLES™, MUGGLEDOME™, MUGGLEPLICATION™, SHADOW MONSTERS™, NEVIL™, NEVILS™, NARDLES™, GREEBLIES™, NADIE & NEDDIE SPOONERS OF THE DEEP™, WINKLE™, ELDERS™, RAH™, ZYN™

 

[Saney]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Here is a sample (and remember, this is all supposed to be from a kids book)

Perhaps she'd have later made the "Good Bits version". You know, like how her grandfather used to read the book to her. Leaving away all the political bullshit.

And here's another sample (and remember, this was supposed to be written by a normal author and not a cash-grabbing opportunist):

Trademarks and © 1984, 1987, 2001 by N. K. Stouffer
ISBN 1-58989-400-6

MUGGLE™, MUGGLES™, MUGGLES-BYE™, and The Legend of RAH and the MUGGLES™, MUGGLEDOME™, MUGGLEPLICATION™, SHADOW MONSTERS™, NEVIL™, NEVILS™, NARDLES™, GREEBLIES™, NADIE & NEDDIE SPOONERS OF THE DEEP™, WINKLE™, ELDERS™, RAH™, ZYN™

Winkle and Elders? Good Christ.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

NADIE & NEDDIE SPOONERS OF THE DEEP™

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Winkle and Elders? Good Christ.

Oh that aint even a fraction of the bugfuck insane and pathetic behavior on the part of stouffer.

Please attend carefully to the following list of infringements the evil JK rowling committed against Nancy stouffer's masterpiece, using the magic of the wayback machine

http://web.archive.org/web/200102170348 ... mpare.html

INFRINGEMENT EXAMPLES

1) CHILDREN'S FABLE AGES 9-12 = CHILDREN'S FABLE AGES 6-12 (since having a supposedly similar target audience is infringement)

2) MYTHICAL PLACE = MYTHICAL PLACE (The word "Mythical" is property of Stouffer apparently)

3) ORPHAN BOYS = TWIN ORPHAN BOYS (As is the word "orphan")

4) SORCERER'S STONE = WORRY STONE (and the word "stone")

5) MUGGLES: HUMAN/NON-MAGICAL FULL SIZE PEOPLE = MUGGLES HUMAN/NON-MAGICAL LITTLE PEOPLE (a word she only trademarked after HP was published, and even if she did so before would have less case than Sandusky would have if he tried to sue his victems for inducing penile friction burn on him)

6) MUGGLE FAMILIES = MUGGLE FAMILIES (and apparently having families is also infringement...)

7) MUGGLE VILLAGE = MUGGLE VILLAGE (... as is living in villages)

MUGGLES REJOICING "HAPPY, HAPPY DAY" = MUGGLES REJOICING "OH WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY" (despite the fact it was pointedly not muggles in HP saying this)

9) MUGGLES PLAY SOCCER-LIKE GAME = MUGGLES PLAY CROQUET-LIKE GAME (... how the fuck is quiddich like croquet? and again, these were WIZARDS, not muggles)

10) NEVILLE = NEVILS (and Stouffer also happens to own the millenia old name Nevile)

11) NEVILLE LOOSES THINGS CRIES AND WHINES = NEVILS CLUMSY AND NERVOUS AND COMPLAIN (...so?)

12) NEVILLE BODY CHANGES BECOME BLISTERED WITH BOILS = NEVILS BODIES CHANGE BECOME DEFORMED/SKIN ROUGH (again... so?)

13) HARRY POTTER = LARRY POTTER (turns out that one of the biggest reasons this bitch was fined 50k after the trial was the fact she edited her "Larry and Lilly" book to have Larry's last name be potter after she started launching suits against rowling, as if having a similar name would somehow constitute a case anyway)

14) LILY POTTER = LILLY POTTER (this cow is so stupid she fails to even check her own damn book titles, which would plainly show that lily is larry's friend rather than relative)

15) NIMBUS 2000 BROOM FLYS THROUGH THE SKY = NIMBUS MYTHICAL WARRIOR FLYS THROUGH THE SKY (she also seems to own the centuries old latin word "Nimbus" which a term for a particular cloud)

16) A MIRRORED LAKE = A MIRRORED LAKE (noting that lakes tend to reflect things is copyright infringement to stouffer as well it seems)

17) FLEET OF BOATS = FLEET OF BOATS (referencing more than a few boats is again, infringement against stouffer)

1 BOATS AWAIT BY LAKE = BOATS AWAIT BY INLET (as is having the boats be stationary in a body of water)

19) BOATS TRAVEL ACROSS LAKE = BOATS TRAVEL DOWN INLET TO LAKE (or having them move.... pretty much every phase of a boat's existance is stouffer's intellectual property)

20) VISITORS TRAVEL BY BOAT TO CASTLE VISITORS TRAVEL BY BOAT TO CASTLE (as is having them be used as transport to a castle)

21) IVY VEGETATION SURROUNDS THE BOAT PASSENGERS = TROPICAL VEGETATION SURROUNDS THE BOAT PASSENGERS (only stouffer has the right to briefly describe vegetation)

22) CASTLE ON CLIFF = CASTLE ON CLIFF (all medieval lords who built their castles next to an easily defendable landform were ripping off stouffer)

23) DARK SECRET PATH = DARK SECRET PATH (badly lit walkways as a concept belong to stouffer)

24) ENTRANCE TO CASTLE "FLIGHT OF STONE STEPS THAT LEAD TO A HUGE OAK DOORS" = ENTRANCE TO CASTLE "FLIGHT OF STONE STEPS THAT LEAD TO A HUGE WOODEN DOOR" (big doors and stone steps? all invented by stouffer)

25) KNOCK THREE TIMES ON THE OAK DOOR = KNOCK THREE TIMES ON THE WOODEN DOOR (knocking on doors is also trademarked by stouffer it seems)

26) RECEIVING HALL = RECEIVING HALL (as are recieving halls...)

27) FLAGSTONE FLOORS = CHECKERBOARD STONE FLOOR (...floors...)

2 GREAT HALL = GREAT HALL (...halls in general...)

29) SEATS IN GREAT HALL = SEATS IN GREAT HALL (...chairs)

30) FOUR HOUSES = FIVE COLONIES (...and numerical designations of things)

31) VISITOR CEREMONY = VISITOR CEREMONY (Stouffer created the concept of welcoming visitors)

32) VISITORS PREPARED FOR QUESTIONS = VISITORS PREPARED FOR QUESTIONS (and the very notion of asking visitors questions is also her property, so much so that the mere 1 line mention of it in HP as something that does not happen at hogwarts is enough for infringement)

33) QUESTIONS ASKED BEFORE OTHERS ALREADY THERE = QUESTIONS ASKED BEFORE OTHERS ALREADY THERE (the concept of audiences appear to belong to stouffer)

34) HOUSE CUP HONOR CRYSTAL GOBLET = HONOR CUP OF DESIRE CRYSTAL GOBLET (..... the house cup was not a crystal goblet, but then I guess the abstract concept of cups is also one of stouffer's properties)

35) DRINK SORCERERS STONE ELIXIR = DRINK WATER FROM THE WELL OF DESIRE (rowling and the past few millenia of philosophers were all ripping off stoufer, as was any story where vaguely supernatural liquid was drank)

36) CHARACTER DRESSED IN TIGHTS = CHARACTERS IN TIGHTS (stouffer claims that she exclusively has rights over the concept of tights)

37) VANISHING STEPS = VANISHING STEPS (and fake stairs)

3 QUILL PENS AND PARCHMENT = QUILL PEN AND PARCHMENT (yes all medieval ways of communication belong to nk stouffer)

39) POISONOUS FUNGUS ALLERGIC REACTION = POISONOUS MOSS ALLERGIC REACTION (allergies belong to stouffer and she will sue your ass if you mention them... even though im fairly sure this doesnt happen in any harry potter book)

40) HERBS AND FUNGI = BORDONIAN MOSS (stouffer also owns the title of all fungi living and fictional)

41) GOVERNOR = FRIAR (...huh?)

42) UNDERGROUND CAVES AND PASSAGEWAYS = UNDERGROUND CAVES AND PASSAGEWAYS (stouffer also plans to sue all miners on earth for using her original ideas)

43) THE BOOK OF MONSTERS = THE ANCIENT BOOK OF TALES (any book whatsoever is stouffer's trademark)

44) KEEPER OF THE KEYS = KEEPER OF DREAMS/KEEPER OF THE GARDENS/KEEPER OF THE MILLS/KEEPER OF THE CHILDREN/KEEPER OF THE FOOD/ KEEPER OF THE LIGHT (as is the word "Keeper)

 

[OR 345]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Oh, didn't know Antigua ended up on TVTropes. It apparently came up when my friend searched for Maradonia.

(For that matter, it sounds like Maradonia isn't on the list? Why?)

I'll let this copy+paste line from TV Tropes explain it: "So Bad, It's Good: Readers have been known to laugh at its quality (or lack thereof)"
Antigua itself got a mention underneath "The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists" entry in the literature section of the So Bad, It's Horrible page. So to sum up for the latter, Denise Brown Ellis has terrible writing skills, the paper used to make her books are better off being used as toilet paper for my rear, kindling for a hobo who needs warmth at night, or as a target for U.S. military recurits on a shooting range.

Oh, thanks. I forgot TVTropes has a dozen different categories for every little thing.

Does Nancy Stouffer have nothing better to do than try to build a lawsuit against Rowling? I particularly like GOVERNOR = FRIAR. This seems to be her website, and is it ever awful. The design, the layout, and those pictures of giant headed "muggles" everywhere. It also sounds like she's had trouble with some other publisher:

Spoiler

In 2002, "The Legend of Rah and the Muggles" was republished by Thurmanhouse Publishing Company, LLC. N.K. Stouffer signed an agreement with this publishing firm at the insistence of her legal counsel at that time. It was not a situation she was comfortable with, in fact she initially refused the contract offer, but her counsel informed her that she must work out an agreement with Thurmanhouse. He was certain that they could deliver everything they had promised, and that her concerns were unwarrented. We all know now, that she should have followed her own heart, but failed to hold fast to her own beliefs. When you don’t follow your own heart, the result can often be disastrous, and her experience with Thurmanhouse was everything she feared, and more.

The book arrived unedited, and lacked the professional care most publisher’s would have given it. There is nothing more difficult than to be placed in a position where you must admit that some of the criticism was fair and accurate. N.K. Stouffer has never been the type of person who will not accept responsibility for anything that has gone amiss because of her failure, this is one of those situations where she must admit that she failed to be strong enough to put a stop to the train wreck that occurred with the last publication of her book, and that she failed to provide everything that she could have given the viewing public.

There are many reasons for her failures, but the bottom line is that none of them outway her duty to the public. Over the next few months she will be completing a new version of her book, and is hoping that the public and the critics will give her another chance to prove that her story was, and is worth being told.

The publisher doesn't have a website, and this page is all I can find for a book list. It's mostly Beatrix Potter and Nancy Stouffer. How reputable.

 

[c-no]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Winkle and Elders? Good Christ.

Oh that aint even a fraction of the bugfuck insane and pathetic behavior on the part of stouffer.

Please attend carefully to the following list of infringements the evil JK rowling committed against Nancy stouffer's masterpiece, using the magic of the wayback machine

http://web.archive.org/web/200102170348 ... mpare.html

INFRINGEMENT EXAMPLES

1) CHILDREN'S FABLE AGES 9-12 = CHILDREN'S FABLE AGES 6-12 (since having a supposedly similar target audience is infringement)

2) MYTHICAL PLACE = MYTHICAL PLACE (The word "Mythical" is property of Stouffer apparently)

3) ORPHAN BOYS = TWIN ORPHAN BOYS (As is the word "orphan")

4) SORCERER'S STONE = WORRY STONE (and the word "stone")

5) MUGGLES: HUMAN/NON-MAGICAL FULL SIZE PEOPLE = MUGGLES HUMAN/NON-MAGICAL LITTLE PEOPLE (a word she only trademarked after HP was published, and even if she did so before would have less case than Sandusky would have if he tried to sue his victems for inducing penile friction burn on him)

6) MUGGLE FAMILIES = MUGGLE FAMILIES (and apparently having families is also infringement...)

7) MUGGLE VILLAGE = MUGGLE VILLAGE (... as is living in villages)

MUGGLES REJOICING "HAPPY, HAPPY DAY" = MUGGLES REJOICING "OH WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY" (despite the fact it was pointedly not muggles in HP saying this)

9) MUGGLES PLAY SOCCER-LIKE GAME = MUGGLES PLAY CROQUET-LIKE GAME (... how the fuck is quiddich like croquet? and again, these were WIZARDS, not muggles)

10) NEVILLE = NEVILS (and Stouffer also happens to own the millenia old name Nevile)

11) NEVILLE LOOSES THINGS CRIES AND WHINES = NEVILS CLUMSY AND NERVOUS AND COMPLAIN (...so?)

12) NEVILLE BODY CHANGES BECOME BLISTERED WITH BOILS = NEVILS BODIES CHANGE BECOME DEFORMED/SKIN ROUGH (again... so?)

13) HARRY POTTER = LARRY POTTER (turns out that one of the biggest reasons this bitch was fined 50k after the trial was the fact she edited her "Larry and Lilly" book to have Larry's last name be potter after she started launching suits against rowling, as if having a similar name would somehow constitute a case anyway)

14) LILY POTTER = LILLY POTTER (this cow is so stupid she fails to even check her own damn book titles, which would plainly show that lily is larry's friend rather than relative)

15) NIMBUS 2000 BROOM FLYS THROUGH THE SKY = NIMBUS MYTHICAL WARRIOR FLYS THROUGH THE SKY (she also seems to own the centuries old latin word "Nimbus" which a term for a particular cloud)

16) A MIRRORED LAKE = A MIRRORED LAKE (noting that lakes tend to reflect things is copyright infringement to stouffer as well it seems)

17) FLEET OF BOATS = FLEET OF BOATS (referencing more than a few boats is again, infringement against stouffer)

1 BOATS AWAIT BY LAKE = BOATS AWAIT BY INLET (as is having the boats be stationary in a body of water)

19) BOATS TRAVEL ACROSS LAKE = BOATS TRAVEL DOWN INLET TO LAKE (or having them move.... pretty much every phase of a boat's existance is stouffer's intellectual property)

20) VISITORS TRAVEL BY BOAT TO CASTLE VISITORS TRAVEL BY BOAT TO CASTLE (as is having them be used as transport to a castle)

21) IVY VEGETATION SURROUNDS THE BOAT PASSENGERS = TROPICAL VEGETATION SURROUNDS THE BOAT PASSENGERS (only stouffer has the right to briefly describe vegetation)

22) CASTLE ON CLIFF = CASTLE ON CLIFF (all medieval lords who built their castles next to an easily defendable landform were ripping off stouffer)

23) DARK SECRET PATH = DARK SECRET PATH (badly lit walkways as a concept belong to stouffer)

24) ENTRANCE TO CASTLE "FLIGHT OF STONE STEPS THAT LEAD TO A HUGE OAK DOORS" = ENTRANCE TO CASTLE "FLIGHT OF STONE STEPS THAT LEAD TO A HUGE WOODEN DOOR" (big doors and stone steps? all invented by stouffer)

25) KNOCK THREE TIMES ON THE OAK DOOR = KNOCK THREE TIMES ON THE WOODEN DOOR (knocking on doors is also trademarked by stouffer it seems)

26) RECEIVING HALL = RECEIVING HALL (as are recieving halls...)

27) FLAGSTONE FLOORS = CHECKERBOARD STONE FLOOR (...floors...)

2 GREAT HALL = GREAT HALL (...halls in general...)

29) SEATS IN GREAT HALL = SEATS IN GREAT HALL (...chairs)

30) FOUR HOUSES = FIVE COLONIES (...and numerical designations of things)

31) VISITOR CEREMONY = VISITOR CEREMONY (Stouffer created the concept of welcoming visitors)

32) VISITORS PREPARED FOR QUESTIONS = VISITORS PREPARED FOR QUESTIONS (and the very notion of asking visitors questions is also her property, so much so that the mere 1 line mention of it in HP as something that does not happen at hogwarts is enough for infringement)

33) QUESTIONS ASKED BEFORE OTHERS ALREADY THERE = QUESTIONS ASKED BEFORE OTHERS ALREADY THERE (the concept of audiences appear to belong to stouffer)

34) HOUSE CUP HONOR CRYSTAL GOBLET = HONOR CUP OF DESIRE CRYSTAL GOBLET (..... the house cup was not a crystal goblet, but then I guess the abstract concept of cups is also one of stouffer's properties)

35) DRINK SORCERERS STONE ELIXIR = DRINK WATER FROM THE WELL OF DESIRE (rowling and the past few millenia of philosophers were all ripping off stoufer, as was any story where vaguely supernatural liquid was drank)

36) CHARACTER DRESSED IN TIGHTS = CHARACTERS IN TIGHTS (stouffer claims that she exclusively has rights over the concept of tights)

37) VANISHING STEPS = VANISHING STEPS (and fake stairs)

3 QUILL PENS AND PARCHMENT = QUILL PEN AND PARCHMENT (yes all medieval ways of communication belong to nk stouffer)

39) POISONOUS FUNGUS ALLERGIC REACTION = POISONOUS MOSS ALLERGIC REACTION (allergies belong to stouffer and she will sue your ass if you mention them... even though im fairly sure this doesnt happen in any harry potter book)

40) HERBS AND FUNGI = BORDONIAN MOSS (stouffer also owns the title of all fungi living and fictional)

41) GOVERNOR = FRIAR (...huh?)

42) UNDERGROUND CAVES AND PASSAGEWAYS = UNDERGROUND CAVES AND PASSAGEWAYS (stouffer also plans to sue all miners on earth for using her original ideas)

43) THE BOOK OF MONSTERS = THE ANCIENT BOOK OF TALES (any book whatsoever is stouffer's trademark)

44) KEEPER OF THE KEYS = KEEPER OF DREAMS/KEEPER OF THE GARDENS/KEEPER OF THE MILLS/KEEPER OF THE CHILDREN/KEEPER OF THE FOOD/ KEEPER OF THE LIGHT (as is the word "Keeper)

To see all of those infringements makes me want to get a hammer and beat my skull in. This really does show how crazy and pathetic Stouffer is at suing an author to make a quick buck and a claim to fame with her horrible book. Also to see those muggles makes me want to burn down there village similar to a group of Viking raiders attacking a village, but taking no survivors.

 

[WWWWolf]

Re: "Writers" who are even more pathetic and lulzy than G. T

Left Behind series: An insanely popular book series for reasons I cannot possibly comprehend - terrible fundie theology combined with absolutely abysmal writing. And, of course, inspired by the *ahem* success of these books, the authors run writing courses for other aspiring fundie writers, so that they can write successful books just like them. (They're counting on the fact that the potential writers in questions aren't really big on these "book" things.) There are lolcows, and then there are unfunny big-money soberingthoughtcows.

Random romance novel bullshit: good that Chris isn't in this novel, for mayhap they'd have something unsavoury in their chausses after that.