Yolo Swaggins' guide 2 the thug lyfe. -

Sexual Stallone

#Latinlover
Tired of being a loser? Want to get more out of life than Pokeymans and Fedoras? Want become the alphaest of males and roll around in the pussay? Then look no further than Sexual Stallone's Guide to #$WAG.

With this book you will learn step by step instructions on how to become a d0pe dude and get so many womans that the only problem you'll have is finding the time to pound all that tom tom. You'll get specialized instructions from the man himself, Sexual Stallone, to ensure that you'll get the advice that is right for you.

Here's a free sample of Sexual Stallone's guide to #$WAG, it includes some of the most important tips:

-Don't have autism (This is very important)

-Cut the ponytail and shave the neckbeard. Just because you saw some pics of a male model with a gigantic beard and long hair on some image board and the reactions it got from women it doesn't mean that you can pull it off, what it is going to do is make you look like someone who enjoys the company of prepubescent girls.

-Stop drinking so much soda and then complaining about genetics you fatass. Join a gym, train hard, say your prayers and take your vitamins. Big pythons are essential to #$WAG, they're like the pillar on which d0peness is built on.

-Stop sperging about vidya every 5 goddamn seconds. There's more to life than pokeymans or minecraft.

-Learn a sport. I personally like basketball because you can hum NBA JAM's team select theme to yourself while you dunk on some fools. Wrestling is also a good choice, specially if you become part of the NWO (4 lyfe)

-Don't LARP. Seriously. DON'T LARP!

-Form a posse of #$WAG dudez. There's #$WAG in numbers.

Here are some actual before and after pictures from satistfied customers who have better themselves by applying Sexual Stallone's theory of #$WAG to their lives.

Strewth​

SrxWa9O.jpg


Bungholio

cUnvs5f.jpg


Catparty

3ixr17a.jpg

Satan

tjIepRc.jpg

Go get your Guide to #$WAG! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!

I always knew Chris was Satan.

A moment ago - Dormiebasne:
swag means "I do not pay child support"

To be fair, every word means that to Dormie.

I wonder if this method is better than The Dude's Guide to Manliness.

How'd I get reversed? Help! :\

I mean, any man can be manly. But not every man can have #$WAG.

I've noticed that in the before+after pics, all subjects lose some amount of hair. Is this secretly chemo therapy?

Does rolling around in the "pussay" means having sex with pixy?

having sex with pixy?
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#Swag is for window lickers and pedophiles.

And how do women obtain this #$WAG you speak of?

You forgot about how you're supposed to stand on top a car and point your finger to the sky.

imdabes-o.gif


834945405_1507490.gif

Literally me after reading this

As a professional swag aficionado, or swaggot, I agree with this thread as it has 110% #$wag

Also more tips
- Stop wearing clown shirts and your mom's jeans and get some proper $waggy clothing
- Watch some $waggy TV shows so that you can have conversations about something other than anime that no-one watches.
- Die high.

Hushtug swug

As a professional swag aficionado, or swaggot, I agree with this thread as it has 110% #$wag

Also more tips
- Stop wearing clown shirts and your mom's jeans and get some proper $waggy clothing
- Watch some $waggy TV shows so that you can have conversations about something other than anime that no-one watches.
- Die high.

Hushtug swug
This nigga

Swag Fags :heart-full::heart-full::heart-full::heart-full::heart-full::heart-full::heart-full:

This is the single greatest concentration of pure #$wag ever recorded

Mad-Max-Shotgun.jpg


It's true. I used to do nothing but hit pregnant women with shopping carts and trawl Craigslist for used fleshlights.
Now, with swag in my life, I wear a fedora, and all the ladies like totally think I'm a poet or something. I'm like, Byron for the 21st century. #swag

This is the single greatest concentration of pure #$wag ever recorded

Mad-Max-Shotgun.jpg
I thought you had to be black to attain the 'full swag'? This has blown my mind!!

tumblr_m4of1dZGUM1rwp3kso1_500.gif


What I love is that the url says "sexual-stallones-guide-to-wag.4071"

A wag is a footballers wife. That's the actual purpose of this guide, to attract a wealthy husbando.

"sexual-stallones-guide-to-wag.4071"
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"sexual-stallones-guide-to-wag.4071"
tumblr_mwvw2pipTS1suyqwko1_500.gif
This is the best kind of (s)wag.

Can we get BRICKS in here to write a guide to prag?

Catparty

3ixr17a.jpg

Satan

tjIepRc.jpg

Go get your Guide to #$WAG! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!
I c-can't even sto-- :lol: :lol: :lol:

Can we get BRICKS in here to write a guide to prag?
fUck i dont know nothin about Bein a prag maybe you shuld ask that sick mothafucker @SIMAN ADABESEE

i aint scared of Nothin! nothing!

fUck i dont know nothin about Bein a prag maybe you shuld ask that sick mothafucker @SIMAN ADABESEE

i aint scared of Nothin! nothing!
Is there anything you can teach us about Swag?

0.jpg

Edit: Wrong damn photo.

Black people have a +5 #$wag racial perk

I failed The Dude's "Manliness Test"

Hal/Stallone, do you offer free samples of your Mystery Medina Potion? Or if its not a potion at all, or an actual guide, do you offer free brochures?

I'll hook you up

Tyce is wearing a T shirt with Swag written on it in the Tyce Trial livestream. Does this mean that #swag is over?

This is a great guide, but why is Stratochu a "before"? He's hot.

This is a great guide, but why is Stratochu a "before"? He's hot.
You should ask him out ;)

Why would I need a guide to free stuff?

>implying i'm not 300% $w@gg3r
xEtQeYN.png


Why would I need a guide to free stuff?
Mr Stallone went to the effort of writing this to help neckbeards like you. So don't be critical unless you have 20 wives.

>implying i'm not 300% $w@gg3r
xEtQeYN.png
:neckbeard::ruse::pickle::gay:

Mr Stallone went to the effort of writing this to help neckbeards like you. So don't be critical unless you have 20 wives.
I guess that my 19 wives isn't gonna cut it then?

I regret taking that picture now.

I feel dirty.

Every day people are asking me:"Yolo Swaggins, how do I be as swaggy as you?" and Imma be like:"Bitch, it ain't that easy to explain". You see, $wag is not just something you can learn, you must become $wag, dawg. So here it is: Yolo Swaggins' guide 2 the thug lyfe. Read on and soon you too will be rolling in $luts, $ex, and $wag.

Chapter 1 - Introduction to the Thug Lyfe.

The thug lyfe is a life without limits. A life filled with hos and homies, drugs and dupstep, money and muscles. But some people just can't handle the thug lyfe but if you persevere you to can be a straight up G like me.

The thug lyfe is, like, basically turning this:
4153_82896764222_3507565_n.jpg
- No mass/mucles
- Whiter than a cheesecake
- A FUCKING MULLET
- No bling.
- Weird facial expression (possible autism/ indigestion)
- Can't talk to women without sounding like a fag.
- Bitch in background be like: "the fuck??"
Into this:
images (6).jpg

- Six pack
- Tanned as fuck
- Enough gel in hair to cause problems next to a naked flame.
- Bling
- Awesome pose
- Chad Thudercock.
- Sick ass boats in back.

The thug lyfe is not for everyone, contact your pimp to see if the thug lyfe is right for you. Do not take the thug lyfe if you suffer from high functioning autism, are a wounded veteran, or are a douchcanoe. Side effects may include trouble with the law, badassery and *shudder* child support. Contact your doctor for erections lasting more than 4 hours.

PS. This is my first thread, how did I do?
PPS. Peace out niggos :deagleleft:8):deagle:

Everyone must read this and abide.

You're my fucking hero.

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Can we get this stickied?

Can we get this stickied?
This.

Woah man using Raygun as an example of No Swag? Rude.

yo i know you be thuggin #deathrowrecords

BUT would you rather keep this accoun t or your alt account http://cwckiforums.com/members/quote-me-now.2494/ i need know which 2 ban

I will be so swag

Users who bought this book also bought "Sexual Stallone's guide to #$wag"

question important

i hav follwed dis guide an now i am standin on a car feenga in da air with some woments with my fingas in dey hair, i feal lik imdabes but i stil wondr:
is dis swag?

Another point in the $wagification process is to replace your entire music library with LIL B THE BASED GOD


Like that
post that on line of the day

Wow swag overload in this thread!

You know what's one of the most swaggiest things you could do? Quote your own posts

You know what's one of the most swaggiest things you could do? Quote your own posts
Like that

You know what's one of the most swaggiest things you could do? Quote your own posts


Like that


Swaggier is to merge those posts to make it look weird.

Swaggiest is to merge all of those posts to make it look weird.
Super freaky!

Damn this cat knows the business

You know what's one of the most swaggiest things you could do? Quote your own posts


Like that




Swaggier is to merge those posts to make it look weird.

Swaggiest is to merge all of those posts to make it look weird.

Swaggiest is to merge all of those posts to make it look weird.


Am I swag yet?


This thread has achieved ultimate $w@g. AUGH YEAH


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CALL THE POLICE! CRIMES AGAINST #SWAG!

Pirates are gay and unrealistic. Obviously you got no $wag and you should be reading this thread rather than "plundering booty" with your pirate crew.
CALL THE POLICE! CRIMES AGAINST #SWAG!
Man, you can't trust the Pigs, okay. The only police you need is right here :deagle:

Pirates are gay and unrealistic. Obviously you got know $wag and you should be reading this tread rather than "plundering booty" with your pirate crew.

Man, you can't trust the Pigs, okay. The only police you need is right here :deagle:

I have a cross-culture question right here.
How do swag people (swaggers? swankers ? swaggo's ?,illiterate braindead poser goat-rapers ?) compare to bogans ?

I have a cross-culture question right here.
How do swag people (swaggers? swankers ? swaggo's ?,illiterate braindead poser goat-rapers ?) compare to bogans ?
Nah brah, those are called failure $waggots. (Faggots for short).

Okay bitchez I hope you are ready 4 part 2

Chapter 2 - Talk the Thug Lyfe

You don't just got to think the thug lyfe, you got to speak the thug lyfe. So for your first lesson y'all gonna learn how to speak hood-speak.

Dictionary of $wag

Man- Man, dude, bro, dawg, brotha, brah, homie, nigga, niggo
Woman- Bitch, ho, trick, slut, skank
Girlfriend- Bottom Bitch
Boyfriend- Nah, that shit's gay
Police- Five O, Pigs, Po-Po, Jerkops
Cannabis- Dank-ass shit
Government- The Man
Friends- Crew, homies, gang
Kill- Ice, pop a cap in their ass
Pistol- Gat
Jewelry- Bling
Neighborhood- hood
For sure- fo' shizzle

These handy phrases can help you understand $wag talk and blend in the street. But be warned, if you use $wag talk incorrectly you may look like this:
468px-SchuComic10P72.jpg

Merge and Pin all of this please

merge this with the other swag thread

swag and thug lyfe - apples and oranges

That's right, apple$!

#apple$wag

All posts in this thread should be merged together.

All posts in this thread should be merged together.


all posts in this thread will be merged with the other thread
 
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