You are now roommates with the lolcow you follow the most, what's life like? -

[Lame Entropy]

I'd probably be living with Chantal. I'd end up killing her after hearing her tee hee at 2 am one too many times.

 

[AMERICA]

JustinRPG is my roommate? Oh no. It wouldn't even be his fetish that's the problem, he would complain all day about stuff not working.

I imagine he spends most of his time playing vidya and browsing the internet so it might not be too bad if I can give him his own corner and distract him with lots of games or something.

 

[Furret]

I'm with the authors and staff of the SCP wiki. If they don't know that it's me, I'll probably be okay. If they do, someone's probably going to die.

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Roommates with Lily Ochard? Holy motherfucking shit.
Man, i prefer being roommate with Murrlogic1; at least he love/hates TLOK and i like talking about how that cartoon is a mess.

 

[RussianParasite]

The wailing gnome that is Jake Alley (secret gamer girl) would be awful to live with. Sloppy, complainy, slovenly, and would likely complain that he can’t pay the rent because of the feminist lesbian Nazis stalking him.

At least his mom would come by with food for us from time to time.

 

[Pargon]

During one of DSP's night streams I wedge the door to his office shut with his emergency hatchet, grab Jasper and blow out all his pilot lights on my way out.

The internet never hears from him again.

 

[TFT-A9]

>most of my cow monitoring is in Animal Control

I'm not even going to check to see which of them I've paid the most mind to, my choices are LITERAL dogfuckers, people who keep house like utter fucking neanderthals, creepy fetishist sexpests and noisy politically-illiterate ideologues, there'd be a murder within a WEEK

 

[Banditotron]

I think a lot of kiwis would get raped in their sleep.
Anyways if I had to room with Purple Keckleon or Kevin Gibes I would probably try slowly poison them to death over the course of weeks but run out of patience halfway through and become overwhelmed with the feeling you get when you find a tick on your body and respond to their presence in the same way (e.g. decapitation with a credit card or bursting their body with a lighter).

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

I'm kicking Dsp's ass everyday. I moved Khet out and I moved Jenna in and we're smoking weed and teaching Jasper to kick Dsp's ass everyday also.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I do all the work around the house while Kevin sits on his fetid ass Tweeting and buying Transformers.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I would shortly thereafter be arrested for murder.

 

[Coffee Shits]

We'd have to close the Jack Scalfani thread because I'm kicking that fat fuck out of my kitchen.

 

[glass_houses]

I'd be rooming with Kevin Gibs for a couple of days.

Then I'd be charged with homicide.

 

[Fat Gay Riker]

I have spent too much time with the retards on internet famous to ever want to room with any of them.

 

[mr.moon1488]

Pretty fucking miserable since while she thinks I'm Jesus Christ, she also thinks I raped her. Also I have to listen to this shit every night.

Edit:
Just realized I didn't name the cow. Gina Marie Fournier if anyone is interested, but she's currently inactive.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/gina-marie-fournier-ginafournier1.55136/

 

[RavenCrow]

I'd be roomies with Jessica Yaniv, therefore he would probably beat me to death with his walking stick or run me over with his scooter.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I don't really follow lolcows much anymore but I'd probably end up with either Lucas Werner or Nick Bate. Would be shitty either way.

 

[Aaa0aaa0]

Kevin Gibes & the tranch. I'd be a cis woman on the ranch in or near the 3 person bed and I'd be stuck doing all the fucking chores due to my dainty cohabitors being slobs. I would be passive aggressivly dissed for being both cis AND a cis woman, something they couldn't be and would eventually be kicked by them. If not for just being a woman, then for being mad at Kevin for doing jack shit or begging for toys online.


Second would either be Tearzah or Luna: the former I'd passive aggressively not get along with but would put up with until she tries to use her mental health or suicide as a bargaining chip, in which I would explode on her then leave, the later I'd be running from as fast as possible since my stuff is valuable and it'd go missing within 3 days of me arriving for more heroin and the kawaii horde.

 

[soy_king]

I'd be roommates with Dax Herrera. The rent would be exorbitant, I'd hear everything because the walls of the barbie dream mansion are super thin, and I'd be spending most of my days fending off advances from Marie and Juju the Cow.

 

[Autumnal Equinox]

I’d either be roomies with Chris or Spoony. Honestly don’t know which one would be worse