You ever prank anyone? -

[The Dude]

Years ago, when I was just a young Dude, I was dating this girl who was living with her aunt and uncle and we used to have prank wars. At first it started as silly things like putting rubber bands on the spray nozzle of the kitchen sink so that it sprays the person when they go get a drink of water. Then it escalated to them taking my clothes during a pool party, soaking them and placing them in the freezer. This I found out was her aunt's doing. The Dude did not abide.

So I waited patiently to get back the aunt, and oh did I ever. Comes Independence Day and I am invited their house for a barbecue. Now I had learned that the aunt does not like horror movies or gory things. She's squeamish is what I'm getting at. So she asks me to go to the store to get meat and then mow the lawn. The light goes on in my head. The Dude would have his revenge.

I run to the store, buy hamburgers and hot dogs...and a chuck roast. I bring her the burgers and dogs and head out to my truck to get the roast and my old army jacket I kept there. I throw on the jacket and roll down the sleeves, grab the mower and fire it up. I mow for a while then toss the roast on the lawn and mow over it. I gather up the mess and stuff it in the cuff of my right sleeve, making it look like a ragged stump where my hand used to be.

I walk into the kitchen where the aunt is prepping dinner. I creep up behind her and scream ever fucking murder. She wheels around and I shove the ragged, grass covered mess in her face. She goes white and passes out into my arms. Everyone comes running into the kitchen to see what happened. I pull the roast from my sleeve and place it on the counter and walk back out to the mower to finish the yard without saying a word.

Anyone else prank someone?

 

[Judge Holden]

Once when a kid I got hit in the head with a football while playing with friends, and being the sadistic little shit I was I decided to pretend to be knocked out/dead, something aided by both my uncanny ability to fake being knocked out (in the eyes of 12 year olds that is) and the fact being hit managed to bring back a nosebleed i had earlier in the day which enabled me to start bleeding from the mouth.

It got way, way outta hand

Firstly my friends started trying to resuscitate me having completely lost their shit as they began to panic, only to start going into serious boxer-fouling hysterics when they saw me start bleeding from the mouth and nose.

This brought over about two dozen more kids from the playground, half of whom started screaming for a member of staff to come and help.

At this point I decided to start having "convulsions" partly out of dickishness and partly so i could wriggle out of lying on some rather uncomfortable gravel. This caused what I can only describe as epic insane panic from those around me. The kid who kicked the football was himself in a foetal position as he wept while screaming how he didnt mean to hurt me

As a member of staff reached me, i could hear the fear in her voice as thoughts of firing and lawsuit filled her mind, and she desperately called first the school nurse and then an ambulence. At this point I realised i could not afford to reveal myself to be faking since it would incur an ungodly amount of shit from the teachers and my parents, and thus my attempted prank had pretty much failed... until i had an idea.

The ambulence roared onto the playground, and as I was loaded on the staff had managed to dissipate those on the playground back to class, all except for one. The kid who hit me.

Tears still spilling down his face, he actually got into the ambulence with me begging me to be ok, and at this point I decided to spring my fiendish trap

Opening my eyes, and seeing he was the only one there, I looked him in the eyes, and as my mouth opened in the ultimate shit-eating grin and I flashed him a wink before returning to unconciousness after seeing it click in his mind that this whole thing had been to dick with him

The doctors checked me for concussion at the hospital, and my parents were extremely distressed and worried thus causing them to buy me a ps2 game i had been begging for, but aside from that the only thing I had gained from that pointless douchebaggery was a half day off school and that moment of absolute dickery over one of my friends for no reason whatsoever. He could not reveal my lie without risking looking like the ultimate douchebag, and could not give me any retribution without looking even worse. Strangely enough within a week we were exchanging in-jokes about it and he promised one day to get me back even worse. I am still waiting for this retribution

 

[CatParty]

No.

Spoiler

yes

Spoiler

burn! Pranked!

 

[José Mourinho]

Nope.

 

[Aiko Heiwa]

yes.

 

[Night Terror]

Used to play Knock Down Ginger when I was a kid, never did anything more than that. My brother hid an egg in my pillow once, the git.

 

[Fibonacci]

This guy... I'll tell ya. He was a Stiffly Stifferson like you wouldn't believe.

His name's Phil, and he always takes my parking space at work. So last Friday, I sneaked down early and hid behind Phil's car. I jumped out and pranked him! To death with a tyre iron! Yeah, you shoulda seen the look on his face! Classic! Whammy! Whammy, ee, zowwy!

I hate Stiffly Stiffersons. I wanna prank them for hours in my basement.

 

[SPARKLETWAT]

I'm an ER nurse, and it's become tradition to buy a copy of the objects surgeons pull out of peoples' rectums and leave said object on the surgeon's desk.

So far the list includes

a carrot*
a Megatron figurine*
scissors*
a sealed bottle of Robitussin cough medicine*
coins
the handle of a hammer
dildos


*From the same guy. We think he gets off on it.

...Don't ask how or why. People stick weird shit up their ass.

 

[The Dude]

A full bottle of Robitussin. That's not the way to Robotrip.

 

[Count groudon]

Last year, on Halloween, I dared my friend to go into this abandoned office building alone, then I snuck inside wearing this serial kille type mask and silently stalked him until he got too scared and ran out screaming