Your drunk experiences -

  • Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Looking into some solutions.

Autumnal Equinox

Non ducor, duco
kiwifarms.net
Challenged my uncle to a vodka drinking contest when I was 21. He cheated and replaced his lineup of shots with water when pouring them and my dumb ass wasn't watching. I downed about 8 shots of straight vodka (I hadn't drank much beforehand, and eight shots is a solid amount for experienced drinkers, let alone newbies)

Less than an hour later and I was three sheets into the wind. Accused his oak tree of being uppity and tried tackling it to the ground, declaring myself Blackbeard the Pirate, The Jolly Green Giant and Lord of the Druids and passing out into a woodpile and having to be walk-carried back inside were the highlights of my first serious piss drunk experience.
 

No Exit

From Death and Taxes
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
On a day of a party I went to see a friend who worked at subway and he put a shitload of onions on my sub. I got shitfaced that night and when I threw up it felt like my stomach was going to explode. All I could taste was half digested onions and it caused a lot of stomach pain for some reason.

Now I don't eat onions on drinking days.
 

Oglooger

One of few based™ oldfags
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Got drunk with my dad while visiting him
we ended up discussing how we wanted to make a film like deathstalker 2, walked drunkly to the gas station to buy more beer and made friends with a tweeker who bummed off some of our cigarettes.

And that's how my dad and I bonded after 23 years of not seeing each other.
 

Agent Abe Caprine

Goat rights are human rights
kiwifarms.net
Decided to finish up an almost empty bottle of Wild Turkey. Ended up bordering on drunk and rambling about dumb stuff.

Supposedly, drunk me is cute. Guess goofy rambling and walking like an alcoholic is cute to some.

I got like really drunk over Christmas and now I have a really huge hangover since like days.
Drink lots of water. Hangovers are worse if you're dehydrated.
 

.Woody

I am the snake in my boot
kiwifarms.net
In college I went backpacking with some friends out in Yellowstone. It was about a 3 day hike to this old beat up cabin, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. The cabin was 2 floors, and there was a giant moose head mounted halfway up one of the walls. We all got super drunk, and a buddy of mine got up on the 2nd floor banister, yelled "watch this", and jumped off, hit the moose head with his back, and sorta crumpled up onto the floor. Some asshole called the ranger station, and they were gonna send medevac to the cabin. I was underage at the time, and I had a prior ao I freaked out and me and this other dude in a drunken feat of logic ended up firemans carrying the injured guy about 3 miles through the woods, somehow found a ranger station, dumped him there, and hiked back to the cabin. This was in spring, which is peak Grizzly season. IIRC the guy ended up being fine (a couple broken ribs).
 

ProfDongs

kiwifarms.net
One year during a night out with people from work for a birthday thing, I remember having to puke and went back and forth to the washroom twice. The first time I went there I didn't end up throwing up and went back to the table, and then as soon as I got back I knew I was about to throw up. On my way back to the bathroom it started to come up and i'm covering my mouth, a bouncer notices or someone tells him. I keep going and decided if I'm gonna throw up before the bathroom it should be into my sleeve otherwise it'll become a real hassle, so I do and it wasn't too much fortunately. I get into the bathroom, dump the contents from my sleeve and evacuate whatever else I can. I'm told I was mouthing off to the bouncer with my face in a toilet by my roommate ( a regular there) and he says he defuses it and gets me out of there, in my memory I was just telling him to give me a minute.
 

Stoneheart

Well hung, and snow white tan
kiwifarms.net
That's a shit ton of whiskey, How did you not die?
thats around 40 shots, not deadly if drunk over some hours,



So i was on a music festival when i was 20. we had planned with 10 cans of beer per person and day ( so 5 liter) and we were on the 2nd day, we were drunk, but not super drunk, till the moment a friend turned up with homemade booze. I dont remember much of that evening, but the next morning i woke up in an unknown tent, which turned out to be the the space between the speakers and the wall of the Goa tent, i was also topless, painted with strange signs, my short legged jeans had long legs pinned on with buttons and strangers came and said hello to me like we were friends all day long.

Im not sure if i was just drunk or somebody gave me some pills, but i felt great that morning(after eating 2 cans of Riga Sprotten on bread).
 

Rigor Meowtis

Good thing I don't know how to read
kiwifarms.net
My brother got me drunk when I was 16. Don’t remember what we had, but he said I became very quiet and smiled a lot. Then I saw something on TV and cried.

I don’t cry, so this freaked him out.
 

Pocket Dragoon

you're disturbing my calm.
kiwifarms.net
Nostalgia time!
> Late afternoon, 31 April 2005
> Be my wife & I, near Neckarsteinach, while home on two weeks leave, trying to decide between the train ride or a room.
> Buy a liter of apfelkorn, drink half.
> Notice a metal-as-fuck squad of viking-types heading up the mountain, towards a set of ruins we hadn't visited yet.
> Opt to shadow them, but they quickly outpace us. No matter, an increasing volume of black metal leads the way.
> Spot the ruins, with a large bonfire being built in the center, and already dozens of drunken & partying heathens.
> Approach the entry guards; two massive hulks studded with enough spikes, that a mere sidehug would cause exsanguination.
> Payment expected, money not accepted; instead we offer a bottle of versinthe (anise-free absinthe) from my ruck that I'd been saving.
> Do shots of pure 170proof with guards, no chaser. Avoid severe beating and gain entry.
> While trying to catch breath and not puke, we're approached by a bevy of Pagans. They want to welcome us with more strong drink, and insist on joining them in hearty praises to the gods, not being satisfied until my diaphragm begins experiencing muscle failure.
> Become suspicious we'll be sacrificed later.
> Night falls & bonfire lit; with more heathens, pagans, robed-druids, and OGs who looked like the got lost on the way to a Burzum reunion.
> At some point, mushrooms & truffles are offered, and accepted. Suspicions grow.
> Fights erupt. Polizei sirens in the distance, followed by flashlights heading up the mountain.
> Unass the AO further uphill, and find a smaller & more intact ruins, which are still open, which was occupied by four normal dudes around their own camp stove, and their trekking bikes.
> Are invited to join & watch the show below, despite our obvious condition.
> Sound of battle erupts, as the revel is interrupted by polizei in riot gear. Much cursing & crashing from the woods as vikings flee overweight cops.
> Silence settles, suspicion we're about to be Hostel'd grows. Fear intensifies.
> Hash appears from somewhere, fear vanishes, friends are made, the night ends, and a morning trainride home while still tripping balls is somehow accomplished.
> Phone rings early Monday. Surprise 50% urinalysis! NO LEAVE EXCEPTIONS.
> Show up sweating & nearly pissing myself with fear. Told to fall out of formation as an NCO observer in the latrines. Nearly piss myself with relief.
> Go home, promptly book Amsterdam visit. Best R&R ever.
 

Niggernerd

Hiya pops, long time no post.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Drunk driving a gator cart with friends . 1 flew out lmao

Shooting AK47 after downing a bottle grey goose and i yell "cheeki breeki pardner" because am from lone star state.

First time drinking, a pal of mine made me a mix drink but was mostly jim bean and a shot of coke. I chugged it and thought it tasted like chocolate milķ, next thing i know my heads down and I'm puking.

Going out drinking with my older cousin back when i was a freshman and i only remembered bits and pieces. Was at one party and passed out on my feet and when i opened my eyes i was at another friends holding a joint. Morning classes were fucking shit that day.

Christmas night i got drunk and hugged my chicken for being a good girl and gave her warm corn on the cob for a present.

Nowadays when i get drunk its by myself and im usually just singing iron maiden aloud my balcony like a fucking boomer and passed out on the floor after.
 

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake

It's screamin' good.
kiwifarms.net
If you don't know what poitín is, look it up.

3 Litres of unknown strength
2 hunting buddies camped out cheeki breeki style in the VT woods
Multiple rounds of ammunition, including some .22 for plinking purposes
And in walks a raccoon.
Say one of these mimbling little troglodytes, nearly blackout, apparently decides to shoot said raccoon for drunk troglodyte reasons.
His "buddy" decides to bring up "nothing goes to waste" regulations despite not knowing the particulars in Vermont.

And that, gentlemen, is how yours truly learned that raccoon meat is utterly disgusting.
 

Observerer

Talking to me is like clapping with one hand
kiwifarms.net
I was 18 and thought I was invincible, so I chugged a bottle of Jack Daniels, 5 beers and 3 ciders, in addition to some more whiskey from a hand sanitizer bottle. I don't remeber anything but according to my friends I:
- pissed off a busdriver by puking so hard that I filled the garbage can on the bus.

- am part of some chinese family's holiday pictures as I was hanging over a fence downtown throwing up and they decided to strike a pose with me as a morbid tourist attraction.

- did a driveby puke on some poor people waiting for a bus when my dad picked me up. He stopped the car, opened the door, held me by my belt and pushed me out the door. When I was done puking he pulled me back in and drove off. Those poor bus people :(.

Needless to say, I don't drink anymore
 

Harlay de Champvallon

Archevêque de Paris, Duc de Saint-Cloud
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The rest of a bottle of cheap whiskey and cider is not healthy, and meant a bit of vomiting.
 
Top