Your native (non-english) lolcows -

dspfan#1

kiwifarms.net
独人13 / loner13 / King of the Chuang Kingdom

Official Channel: https://space.bilibili.com/294375


Daily Exercise:
https://www.bilibili.com/video/av11873391

How to swallow a banana
https://www.bilibili.com/video/av16918534

Masturbate into a cup, mix with beer and then drink it (people later on found out that he had a street dessert stand near a high school. The dessert apparently had a similar ingredients...)
https://www.bilibili.com/video/av6561043?from=search&seid=11677123065205724767

Mix with rice
https://www.bilibili.com/video/av20892647?from=search&seid=11677123065205724767

Royal pet
http://www.bilibili.com/video/av17818864?from=search&seid=8692834427347362901

Being a scientist
https://www.bilibili.com/video/av7628630
 
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Einon

kiwifarms.net
Vulcho (The wolf,often calls himself the golden wolf)
A village idiot who really likes shit.Literall shit.He got popular in 2016 with all of his of him jumping into piles of shit and eating shit.But what really cemented him was the a challange that he made-up himself.The basic premise of this challnge is to draw a target on your door,take a shit on a newspaper on the ground,then take that said shit and throw it at the target from a 4 meter distance and try to hit as close as you can to the center of the target.Everyone tought that he was some tard from a really fucked village and that he wasn't mentally sound,but It turns out I shit you not,he's a hacker and almolst got a famous Buglarian youtuber killed because of misinformation that he leaked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RQDm0jjshs




Bonus lolcow: Stoiyan Kolev
He's some retard that acts as If he's mafia and makes an ass of himself.He unironically calls himself Jason Born and talks ''ghetto''.He took a pickaxe into a hotel room,impaled it into the wall and broke an airconditioner.Also you can hear his wife crying afterwards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnWzz3e1iFw
 

Attachments

Male Idiot

Loli Hitler
kiwifarms.net
Here is a local sensation, Great Saint Laszlo Varecza the Dead. If there is interest, in time I will try fully transcribing his 4 videos.

He is pretty old and I want to make a public record of his rather interesting insanity.

Name: Saint Dead Laszlo Varecza
Born : 1936, Vác
Residence: Szombathely
Occupation:
Until 1983, matematician and college docens.
1983-1996, dead and selling antiquities.
From 1996 Saint, poet and antiquary salesman.
Enemies:
Academics Kalmár, Turán and Schmidt.
Marx and Lenin
The hungarian state

How to even start about him? This old man is a matematician broken by soviet academy politics and having lost his mind from loosing his job.
Now the videos detail the comlex mythology that he had created around himself as the Fourth Personification of the Holy Trinity, or as he calls it, the Holy Fournity.
He also has written the two missing testaments, the first one being the Neanderthal Testament, and the last the Varecza Testament, thus bringing the number up to four by adding one to the front and the back.
I'm not sure if he is still alive, though I would love to go to the town and search around, if I had the money for it.
His story is at once funny, absurd and tragic, and I'm sure armchair psychologists here will love it.

Fan page:
https://www.facebook.com/Vareczalaci/

Video : Chapters from a Saint's life.
Episode One:
The footage is edited and he sometimes talks a bit looney, I'll try my best.
Transcript:

Scene 1
This is the hungarian state, this cup, this is how it manifests. I spit in it and fuck it(slang for hit) to the ground. This is the hungarian state, shattered to a thousand pieces. This is my poetry, but it is easier to grasp this way, in half a minute.

Chapter 1 : Creation

Scene 2

There was nothing in the beginning, nothing, only me and my soul. I wandered the emptyness, alone. Aaah...In the infinitely small point was my infi... my soul, the infinite energy. And than once it just blew up. That great energy exploded. It began to expand and expand, and even today it is expanding and that created the universe. The astronomers have named this... the Big Bang. This was the big bang, but they do not add or forget to add, that Laci Varecza's soul exploded.

Scene 3

If I want to, I can crush it in my fist. (laughs) I crush it in my fist and create a new one. Yes, I create but that is when it will cease to exist when I crush it, the armageddon. Than I'll make a new one.

Chapter 2 : The alliance

Scene 4

The testmanet papers are here, the Lord God made a pact with me, here they are. The Neanderthal testmant. Up to this the Bible was made of two testaments, the Old and New. Than the Lord God sought me out and dictated down the one before the Old testament, the Neanderthal, here it is, and the one after the Old testament (I think he was supposed to say New). So now the Bible has four big chapters, unified in metaphorical system, all dictated by the Lord God. This is beautiful.
(Quotes God) 'We have made an accord, you fiery eyed Laci Varecza, who you baptise, in my poem river, the big poem river, I will take residence inside, I mean the Lord God, and he/she will have unlimited power of the Soul.' Here are the signatures of the Universal Varecza and the Lord God.

Scene 5

In grand visions the Lord God contacted me, and he said, that Laci Varecza , put down your twig. Everybody put them down, and he made inspection next and only mine flourished, so he knew I had the Power of Creation, so he made his alliance with me.

Scene 6

This rope did the hungarian state throw at me, so that I would hang myself. And this rope has another meaning, this is my rope that I had hanged the state up at the side of the poem river, upon the tall fir tree. At first I drowned it in my poem river, big river, flows through the universe, I drowned it, than I hang it than quaretered it in burned it. Plus a fifth thing I had done but can't remember, I sentenced it to five deaths.

Scene 7

The Ten commandments of the Varecza Religion.
1Do not believe the Hungarian State!
2Bathe in the Varecza Poem river daily. Make a Varecza Altar in a corner of your home and pray there.
3 Take, take faith from the Varecza Epoch River daily (repeats) . Get into the Holy Fournity as the Fifth! The Holy Trinity was first expanded with me, to Holy Fournity, but all those who believe in me can enter, and there will be Holy Ten Thousand, Holy Billion in the big Varecza Barn
4 Create Varecza Altar in a corner of your house.
5 Soothe your soul daily with prayer in the private Varecza Chapel
6 Have a meaningful occupation/hobby
7 Celebrate the Varecza Holyday on August 11. This is a big Varecza Holiday, I made the eclipse happen on it, so that it has cosmic weight, August 11 is Saint Varecza's Day
I can't read this...
10 Defend against the criminality of the hungarian state!
Here is the signatures of the God and Saint Varecza ...

Chapter 4: Dozmat (A little village near Szombathely)

Scene 8

(Rides in the car)
These two gravesites did I buy. I had a little conflict with my son so he did not want his mother buried there, he said he would dig her out and take her to Szombathely. But due to my excellent resolving skills, I said I would be buried here, and she there, and he nodded. It will be okey.

In this volume I keep my best poems. 100 out of 5000.
Saint Varecza, Dozmat heroic song.
Hey, I sing, I sing, Saint Istvan went to hunt for birds in the woods of Dozmat. There did he find Saint Varecza, flying in the underground sky. I sing of it, sing of it, he flies thousands and thousand of years here. King Saint Istvan shot him down twice. Twice did the hungarian state killed me. Because he (himself ) did not want the state wide murder-burglary commited under Christianity's veil with german weapons, and because he did not want the murder burglary commited under Marxists veil with slavic weapons. This is why the folks were killed here, for the good hungarian soil, the 50 year long game, for the good soil.
When I smeared Marx's brains on the concrete, and smeared Lenin's brain, whole Europe was ready, becasue they saw that I crushed them, and they were ready to steal the ten million people's riches.
I sing of it, I sing of it. He shot me. And here he flies now in the underground sky. (mutters) Here is where I will be buried.


Chapter 5 : Revelations

Scene 1

In the lower town station I was waiting for the train on a hot summer day, everything was glowing hot and than at once a pidgeon flew in circles over me, and flew down to land on me and kiss me on the lips with its sharp beak. Even today my mouth bleeds because it, and than it said, 'Laci Varecza you will be bigger than Archimedes'. And than it flew to the sun, and if it said I would be bigger than Archimedes, it was worthwhile of me to abandon civic pursuits, and study algebra and that's how I became a mathematician.

My revelation with Lenin was on the shores of the Nyeva. We were walking there for days in Saint Petersburg, and than a great schism happened and the sky split in half, with Comrade Lenin showing down from the sky. And he said, 'Laci Varecza, the greatest mistake of the Bolsheviks, that we did not properly kill you, or we would be still in power.' Because I had crushed them in the fist of algebric concepts. In that manner Lenin spoke truthfully. They would still be in power if not for their attack one me, because to they barely come up to my Ankle, that Lenin and Marx. Even more, even the atlantic ocean(?) only reaches to my ankles. He spoke true again, that his mother was pregnant with him again, and that he would come back to kill me once more. Kill me proper. That was true. Because the deepest passion is murder-robbery and such people will always reincarnate. Thus I spoke to him, 'Now matter how many times did your whore mother birth you again, tell your whore mother... this is rude but this is how I said it, even if she birhts you a hundred times, I'll kill you a hundred times. The truth is, he kills me in the physical reality and I kill him in the mental reality. I crushed him in the mental realities and transcendent space.

Scene 2

Saint Varecza: Fuckin' on the floor of the butcher shop (poem recital)

Justicia, the hungarian courts, the once truthful ethics, fucking on the floor of the butcher shop.
Her partner is the Chainsaw Massacre Killer, who gained access to the butchers shop by stateification (word for communist seizure of assets)
Helped by Justicia to be a legal butcher by legalizing genocide.
The genocide and measuring of the creating, working people.
And now they fuck mindlessly because the butcher's shop brings good profits.
The whole country is in their pockets. (He laughs)
Justicia is a machine of genocide, and armed forces just realise the lawful genocide.
Why is Justicia not happy, her slit is slippery, from the brains of the beautiful peasant girl, because they destroyed the peasantry, and their brains make her slit slippery, that she needs to fuck with.
She enjoys herself without thought, 'Deeper, deeper I want to climax', she whispers into the ear of the Chainsaw (Massacre Killer), Oh oh oh alas how good, I love you dear, this is a good business for you too, *rants* this is a good business for them, that they claimed with state wide murder and robbery.
She screams, moans and slithers, throws her ass around, her breasts jiggle, It is so good, so good, my mother! It is so good it will kill me.
Her juices flow, her juices muddy the stone floor, it mixes with the blood of the beautiful peasant girl, with the core of her brains, the air is full with the steam of her blood, with the steaming blood of the killed people.
The Chainsaw (massacre killer) is drunk, and his lover too, from the blood, from killer intent, that's how they reach orgasm.
Oh god, I'm coming, they scream, how big I came, so good is the butcher shop.

(Poem Ends)

The Chainsaw Massacre Killer is an allegory for the hungarian state, and the gluey eyed worm is an allegory of the state too, in Vareczanity.

Chapter Six: Ruby lipped algebra

Scene 3

My greatest love is the ruby lipped algebra, it hooked me so greatly, the algebra. And there was a Povarov Equation, which I really loved, and built upon. I wrote a lot of papers about it to the publisher in Belgrade. And later I saw cracks in my own works. Than I checked deeply and saw that this Povarov equation that I built on was faulty. I found the fault and fixed it, and named the new solution Povarov Varecza Equation, I made this while in Warsaw.

Scene 4

My quarrel with the Boyai association and Tom Schmidt was not about this, but my algebra book which they attacked. I was hired by the Kalmar academic and the Dunar academic as an aspirant. With my algebra book with that topic. And they were the editors of the mathematical journals in those times. And I made the book, the mathematics book, which I can sustain, and they attacked it throug the assassin Schmidt.
It was not the problem that they attacked it in papers, I have overwhelming power in the intellectual field, this was a high ball for me which I fucked down hard like a horse kick. The problem was that when they saw how strong I was, they did not publish the reply. My papers written in reply were not published.

Scene 5

And than the dirty work, their dirty long hand, I wanted to publish my polemias (I got no idea what a polemia is) these in Debrecen in a work. And they neutered it, neutred it, left it out, disregarding the writer, me, and just edited it out.

The whore with the blindfold, the courts, did find that they violated my rights and neutered it. But they did not judge the lawful reparations. That it would have been restored. Restore the neutered parts. That's when my mind became scrambled. When they did not restore it.

Scene 6

The arguing intensified and I wrote to them, sons of whores, and they came to the College and put down a big box of my letters to the desk of the Principal, that a docens can't say , that you whoresons, and so lawsuits followed and I lost my job.

That is when I died and there was no god for he was dead. And for 13 years I prayed in the crypt, deepening my thoughts and in 96 there was god again for I was ressurected.

Scene 7 (car and forest)

Here I wandered for 13 years, like my old age image, the Christ of Nazaret, in the wilderness for 40 days, where he deepened his mind. And I did it here, 13 years in this forest, wandering and ripening my great work of vengeance, my poetry. I was pregnant with it. I became pregnant in 83 when they killed me. When I went to the transcendent space, and became pregnant with my poetry, nurturing it for 13 years.


Chapter 7 : Plastic Christ (near Ják)

Scene 1

My mind was scrambled, I was carring it in my left hand like this, and I was wandering around here, without a mind, and I stopped here at the plastic Christ, because he looked beautiful and I appreciated him. And suddenly with great cracking sound did I hear, and the plastic Christ came down from the cross to wrap his arms around me and hug me, crying on my shoulder.

'You too, Laci Varecza, they killed you too?' he said, and I replied 'They killed me, but you just remain on the right side of the Lord God, I'll take care of this hungarian state, and that I did. I am the duality of Jesus Christ, for he is not vengeful but I am. My whole poetry is vengeance art!

Scene 2 (still around the plastic Christ)

The biggest sin of Jesus Christ is (repeats it) that he gave humanity a sense of guilt, when the child is burn without sin, but they burden him/her with guilt without sin, which he/she must carry to the end of his/her life.
He is my half brother for his mother became my wife, so he is my brother and my stepson and everything.
There is original sin, but that is not disobedience to God, but the state white mass genocide of the hungarian state!
That is the original sin, and its consequences are disability, homelessness, destruction of families, suicide.
This philosophy of original sin is the big difference between the religions of the Christ of Nazaret and the Christ of Vác.

Chapter 8. The vatican letter and the saint sculpture.

Scene 3

The Nazareti got down from the cross and sainted me because I crushed the bolshevik hive in my fist. And he said, that you count Varecza Laci, not the pope, but just write to him so that they put their seal on it so that people will trust you more. And than I wrote more than one letter to the pope, that Jesus Christ sainted me, I gave them the papers to put their seal on it. And I wrote that I did not want to be a child saint, I did tell him not to make me a child saint, which he obliged.

Scene 4

I wanted to make a statute in front of my birth house at Vác, because if the small Danuba side town has such a big poet, they should have a statute. I wanted to give it to the town and I wrote to them, and there are Vareczaists there, who .... um... who.. support and love Vareczaness and are sensitive to it. They went to the mayor to have it put on a square before the house. I would have put it up, and Vác would need not spend a cent on it, and I would have, but they did not give permission, Vác denied me, and I no longer live there.

Chapter 9 : The market king without a home country.

Scene 5

The Saint Varecza Son and Grandsons Antiquary was founded be my buying 3 old coins for one forint (around less than half a cent) in 1988. I made the company logo from one forint. The limit is the starry sky, and if the God did not seek me out and I did not work on my poetry I would be a billionaire by now, from antiquities.

Scene 6 (at the shop)

With this we defend the homeland that no longer exists. No nation, it is just a word now, it is no longer.

Scene 7 : Experts from the "False Quintettes" poem

There is no homeland, those killed by the hungarian state are not buried by the homeland.
There is no homeland, you can't live nor die here, only for the murderous state elite.
There is no homeland, the shackles were never broken, and the hungarian state has tightened the leash.
There is no homeland, freedom equals the state wide murder burglary of the hungarian state.
There is no homeland, there is not even a decimated, broken nation living here. Only the murderous state elite.
There is no homeland, the hungarian state asked the whole world to help it pillage the whole country.
There is no homeland, all those hearts broke and spilled blood for it in vain.
Vörösmarty and Petöfi died in vain. (famous local poets)
There is no homeland, minds, strength and will decay in vain.
Vörösmarty says they could not be in vain, but take that, of course it can be!
There will be better times, but only for the muderous state elite.
There is no homeland, death will come, to the people eliminated by the state. No glorious death!
There is no homeland, the grave is surrounded and the state elite is happy with tens of millions of riches, hah they will not shed tears of grief. (laughs) They are happy for the loot!
There is no homeland, the hungarian state has killed it, its ashes will not cover your (grave)
There is no homeland, and there is no place for us here or in foreign land.

This is a great poem.


Chapter 10 : Erotic Poetry

Scene 1

There is no poetry without pussy. The whole humanity got out of it. The first pussy is what I made, the first couple, but everybody else came out of it in erotic way. The whole humanity is made by erotica.

Scene 2 : The poem titled 'The Magical Snatch'

(recites Poem)

The great magnet of fertility, the great muse of world poetry, the great cosmic black hole, from it crawled out the whole humanity, world magnet is the snatch, the entrance and gate of fertility, a keyhole. I got the key.
A keyhole between beautiful thighs, its scent rises upwards, like feather in wind (?) it is the gospel of creation, It is not without slit, it is not without fissure, it is fissure itself, the great cliff itself, from where and why, why is this great gaping fissure?
So that creation can complete in it, and when the created grows up it can create too. And I will be it its patron saint too, and I will be with them on every day till the end of time.

Scene 3:

Erotic poems are a relaxing oasis between the big, indigested poems, I put them there for relaxation. This is a deliberate poetic tool of mine.

Scene 4:

(Poem) Saint Varecza, lick my snatch out, Varecza.

Oh God, how good, how i love you Varecza! (You can hear his audience snicker in the background)
Come, here is this bed, I lay down for you, come fuck me, see how wet I am, more more deeper, I want to orgasm, oh how good. (more laughing from onlookers)

Scene 5:

Oh oh holy Mary, I'll die it is so good, oh God I came. I love you Varecza.

Chapter 11: Vareczisms between the thighs.

Scene 6:

Saint Varecza: My muse have opened her thighs! (poem title)

The muse kissed me, kissed my Word, here is where the philosophy comes in. Kissed the word, the eternal, the beginning and the end.
She coyly took off her panties and every veils of the soul, laying down for me, on the couch of the spitting cup and the Ark of the Covenant, on the wedding bed of the Triple Seals, here is where I have woven in there the murderous hungarian state. The opened legs are just the background, here comes the message.
This is another deliberate poetic tool
She layed down, the spitting cup, the hungarian state, my amorous twig bore flowers, only mine, I put it down and thus the Lord God allied with me. (this is not a dick joke but a reference to previous videos if I am right. Amorous twig would make a great dick joke though.)
And the Ark of the Covenant's couch, thanks to this... on the wedding bed of the Triple seals.
She spread her thighs apart, from her snatch the air became spicy, the penetrating scent of pussy flowed. Lick my pussy out deeply you Christ of Vác, look how wet I am, fuck me more please, deeper I want to come. More, more do not stop!
Whenever I prayed to you in the chapel, at the house Varecza altar... (unintelligible) ... I got wet instantly, the word affected her physically, physiologically as thus, and I dreamed of you in my cell. I wanted you so much , almost in a trance, I wanted you so much. Virgin Mary is my witness how much I want you. Here they cry how much they want me. You are my Christ, kiss me and fuck me, fuck me please, my soul wants to unity with you. Here is the big message. Her soul wants to unite with me. Oh virgin Mary, I almost there, so good, so fine.

A psychological picture, if you don't mind .(He mutters)


Chapter 12: Hawky

Scene 1

My wife was a very healthy peasant girl. Very healthy. She liked to argue, her eyes flashed and burned, she was her most beautiful, I loved her dearly, and called her my bird of pray. She loved me so much, that's why the hungarian state killed her. It did not matter that she loved me, but that I could love her, that was the important part. (I think he means that the important part was that she was loved by someone.)

I woke up at 5.30 in the morning, felt her hand was cold, and saw that she was dead. Oh alas, the great metamorphosis , the greatest, when living becomes dead, the great metamorphosis. There are 180 (Cm tall) people walking, than in weeks they are ash.

Scene 2

(He waves at the cameramen, I think who were two university students who did the interview with him.

"I think that if someone can open up, like violet opens its petals, the reward is death. But I fear not. I was nothing, I will be nothing, love me for I am still here!"

Saint Varecza Laszlo Dead

I am not sure if he is still alive, though hope so.

Some other , newer videos.


In 2014 he refutes a wikipedia entry that erroneusly listed him as havind died in 2013.

There is also another lolcow called Bartos Cs Istvan, but I'm too tired to cover him too.

I bring sad tidings. On the end of 2019, December 27 Saint Varecza László Halott truly became halott, he passed away at a ripe old age.

May his memory never fade, now he is part of the Holy Four. Belépett és Szent Négyes lett. Nyugalom reád, Varecza Laci!


His soul blazed out, for it was the big bang. Now we know why 2020 is so crazy a year. A facet of God died.
 
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Pitere pit

Has man gone insane?
kiwifarms.net
I was doubtful about posting this cow but fuck it.
Meet Kirts Jenkins.
A pedophile, machrophile anarchist troon.
Despite being that young he made a lot of milk during his teenahood. Such as singing about how he wants to be put into the china of a classmate
The infamous incest rap
He is famous on Spanish ancap twitter. His twitter account was banned because he let ants roam on his penis.
He is a total horrorcow and maybe a future Spanish CWC
 

Santiago_Nasar

kiwifarms.net
My native lolcow is a guy called Tsukino-Kun or Guaton Pines, brony, cartoon fan and imageboard mod (30+ yo), used to draw terrible Gravity Falls porn (warning nsfl) and some shitty comics all focused on lolicon, known locally for having a lewd applebloom cutout made of craft foam attached to his backpack, smelling bad and having dirty nails. as of late he got "cancelled" on some imageboard for being a biased mod/admin and got most of his drawings and pedophilic messages he posted on FB sent to his family (getting banned for ever contacting his underage niece ever again), as a result he deleted most of his accounts .
There were rumors of him being a CP poster on a latin imageboard where he was mod too, and of trying to set up a "junta" of Gravity falls fans irl (most of the fans being underage girls), but these are mostly hearsay as there is little info about this as he is mod of the imageboard where his name could come up in discussion.
 
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