Your personal nightmare pizza -
- Thread starter Slav Power
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Sister services, email, and search will continue to be negatively effected by the attacks. I made a thread to talk about it, if you're into networking.
Mister Qwerty
kiwifarms.net
Banana pizza.
Probably just a normal pizza but Chris Chan shat on it
- Highlight
- #27
Nightmare pizza?
Ok
Imagine a homemade sourdough base, lightly brushed with garlic butter, topped with san marzano pizza sauce impeccably seasoned, cheddar, mozzerella, gruyere shredded atop, and on to this stacked high is salami and caramalized onions and home cured bacon and smoked sausage. A perfect balance of meat and cheese and sauce prepared on the best pizza dough you have ever fermented from scratch.
Hands trembling you place it on a peel dusted with semolina, and swiftly slide it into a red hot wood fired pizza atop a pizza stone. After 42 seconds you quickly use the peel to rotate it round, and leave it for the second half to cook to perfection
You take it out the oven and the crust is a rich golden brown with just the right edge of char. The cheese is melted through and the meat has browned and caramelised.
You slice it apart, this whole pizza is for you....and now after a day of prep you finally eat the first meal you have eaten all day....
AND THE FUCKING CHEESE BURNS THE GODDAMN FLESH FROM THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH AND TONGUE AND EVERYTHING IS NOW AGONY AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TASTE ANYTHING FOR A FUCKING WEEK
Ok
Imagine a homemade sourdough base, lightly brushed with garlic butter, topped with san marzano pizza sauce impeccably seasoned, cheddar, mozzerella, gruyere shredded atop, and on to this stacked high is salami and caramalized onions and home cured bacon and smoked sausage. A perfect balance of meat and cheese and sauce prepared on the best pizza dough you have ever fermented from scratch.
Hands trembling you place it on a peel dusted with semolina, and swiftly slide it into a red hot wood fired pizza atop a pizza stone. After 42 seconds you quickly use the peel to rotate it round, and leave it for the second half to cook to perfection
You take it out the oven and the crust is a rich golden brown with just the right edge of char. The cheese is melted through and the meat has browned and caramelised.
You slice it apart, this whole pizza is for you....and now after a day of prep you finally eat the first meal you have eaten all day....
AND THE FUCKING CHEESE BURNS THE GODDAMN FLESH FROM THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH AND TONGUE AND EVERYTHING IS NOW AGONY AND YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TASTE ANYTHING FOR A FUCKING WEEK
I don't know you Gillian but you're a fucking villain.
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it's just the risks you run in the gangsta life
Seafood pizza. I fucking hate seafood, and a pizza with anchovies or tuna just sounds doubly disgusting. Not a big fan of onions either so go ahead and toss that on the nightmare pizza. Let's finish it off with white sauce.
Anything by Pizza Hut is trash pizza as well. Those $6 Hot and Ready pies from Little Caesar's that have been sitting out for hours are better than the crap Pizza Hut shits out.
Anything by Pizza Hut is trash pizza as well. Those $6 Hot and Ready pies from Little Caesar's that have been sitting out for hours are better than the crap Pizza Hut shits out.
Anchovies with pineapple and mushrooms. Shit sounds soggy and unholy as fuck 
Edit: Not that I hate these toppings aside from the anchovies, it's a combination I overheard someone else ordering one time I went to get a pizza.
Edit: Not that I hate these toppings aside from the anchovies, it's a combination I overheard someone else ordering one time I went to get a pizza.
SparklyFetuses
kiwifarms.net
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- #35
One of those terrible desert pizzas who think it is a good idea to actual cook the gummy worms and stuff over actual bread covered in chocolate sauce and put hard to fucking chew and unmelted cooking chocolate chips on it.
Sweet lord those pizzas are disgusting when done by people who have no idea what they are doing and it ends up looking and tasting like the aftermath of a alcoholic clown going on a circus bender.
Sweet lord those pizzas are disgusting when done by people who have no idea what they are doing and it ends up looking and tasting like the aftermath of a alcoholic clown going on a circus bender.
rocknrollmartian
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if I can beat anchovies and capers. That could only be worse with a layer of soggy, flavorless mushrooms and pearl onions on top.
My grandma once made a pizza on dry pita bread topped with slightly turned feta cheese and very slippery lox. I still have nightmares about it.
My Nightmare Pizza
- Dry, crusty, tasteless base that's been overcooked
- Bland tomato sauce
- Cheap processed cheese that when it melts it melts into an orange oil-like liquid
Toppings
- Raw onion
- Cheap pork mince meat
- Caramelized pineapple chunks
- Overcooked chicken breast
- No spices, except for a heap of chili powder
- Soggy fried mushrooms
- Mayonnaise drizzle
And it's cooked by a guy who didn't wash his hands after taking a shit.
- Dry, crusty, tasteless base that's been overcooked
- Bland tomato sauce
- Cheap processed cheese that when it melts it melts into an orange oil-like liquid
Toppings
- Raw onion
- Cheap pork mince meat
- Caramelized pineapple chunks
- Overcooked chicken breast
- No spices, except for a heap of chili powder
- Soggy fried mushrooms
- Mayonnaise drizzle
And it's cooked by a guy who didn't wash his hands after taking a shit.
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