Careercow Narcissa Wright / Cosmo Wright - Former speedrunner tumbling down

Suicide when?

  • When he runs out of money.

    Votes: 865 62.6%
  • Never.

    Votes: 216 15.6%
  • >2 years

    Votes: 302 21.9%

  • Total voters
    1,382

acrylicpaint

High fuckin' functionally autistic
kiwifarms.net
I find this interesting because I've spoken to friends who were MTF and taken HRT and HRT actually can (and is very likely to) reverse receding hairlines in men. The fact that Cosmo's has gotten worse may be proof he isn't taking HRT and isn't really trans as he claims to be.
Maybe he's just not taking a testosterone blocker? From what I understand, it's your body's natural tendency to maintain a balanced ratio of sex hormones, so taking estrogen as a man will actually increase your T levels unless you block the natural hormone.

I only say this because we know he was on estrogen at some point due to the Carpe Diem tweet. But of course, that was almost two years ago, and knowing Cosmo's general laziness and myriad mental disorders, it's perfectly possible that he lost interest in the tranny life and went off estrogen in the intervening time.
 

A Random

All aboard the Loco Express!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Maybe he's just not taking a testosterone blocker? From what I understand, it's your body's natural tendency to maintain a balanced ratio of sex hormones, so taking estrogen as a man will actually increase your T levels unless you block the natural hormone.

I only say this because we know he was on estrogen at some point due to the Carpe Diem tweet. But of course, that was almost two years ago, and knowing Cosmo's general laziness and myriad mental disorders, it's perfectly possible that he lost interest in the tranny life and went off estrogen in the intervening time.
So not only he's a troon, he's a failure at being a troon.

How fitting.
 

FrozenFlame

kiwifarms.net
Maybe he's just not taking a testosterone blocker? From what I understand, it's your body's natural tendency to maintain a balanced ratio of sex hormones, so taking estrogen as a man will actually increase your T levels unless you block the natural hormone.

I only say this because we know he was on estrogen at some point due to the Carpe Diem tweet. But of course, that was almost two years ago, and knowing Cosmo's general laziness and myriad mental disorders, it's perfectly possible that he lost interest in the tranny life and went off estrogen in the intervening time.
Oh it is definitely within the realm of possibility. Judging by how Cosmo has been acting the last few years, I don't doubt he'd be too lazy to actually go through with something 100%. Maybe that's why he got into speedrunning so he could feel less bad about any %'ing life.
 

PLB

kiwifarms.net
Probably doesn't wanna lose the ability to get boners.
from my research its more of a use it or lose it situation with hormones and boners as long as you still masturbate/fuck regularly you can continue getting boners although less easily indefinitely(although its not guaranteed), but if you've got a low sex drive/ just want to be fucked in the ass you will probably lose the ability to get boners by about a year in.

Also whats this about his friend who killed himself i dont remember that being mentioned?
 

Whetfahrt Cheesebörger

Cheeseburger-kin
kiwifarms.net

FrozenFlame

kiwifarms.net
So some background on Cosmo's trans friend who killed herself:

As we've seen her name is Rachel Bryk. She was from NJ. And apparently she did work on Dolphin EMU / helping TAS'ers out.

She died by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. This was her Twitter though it's protected so unless someone can dig up an archive it ends there.

Here's where it gets interesting. Her GF at the time was a user named Feiqn (proof in the Twitter bio) but this GF was the same person who months prior to the suicide accused another speedrunner (Viskiv) of molesting her in her sleep. I'm told she's as big of a lolcow as Cosmo.

What really stuck out to me was a comment made by someone on that subreddit: "Her entire persona basically revolved around her negativity...really quite sad " Hmm, kind of sounds like a certain someone we know. Sorta gives weight to that theory that Cosmo invented this whole trans persona for that reason.
 

Captain Fish

kiwifarms.net
So some background on Cosmo's trans friend who killed herself:

As we've seen her name is Rachel Bryk. She was from NJ. And apparently she did work on Dolphin EMU / helping TAS'ers out.

She died by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. This was her Twitter though it's protected so unless someone can dig up an archive it ends there.

Here's where it gets interesting. Her GF at the time was a user named Feiqn (proof in the Twitter bio) but this GF was the same person who months prior to the suicide accused another speedrunner (Viskiv) of molesting her in her sleep. I'm told she's as big of a lolcow as Cosmo.

What really stuck out to me was a comment made by someone on that subreddit: "Her entire persona basically revolved around her negativity...really quite sad " Hmm, kind of sounds like a certain someone we know. Sorta gives weight to that theory that Cosmo invented this whole trans persona for that reason.
A lot of people blame Feiqn for Cosmo being as he is now. I wonder if Feiqn convinced Cosmo to do all of this?
 
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D.Va

지옥에서 모피 모피
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Midlong hair will suit him better tbh. Many troons start out by growing their hair to ridiculous lengths (long hair = make me woman) but it just never works because they have a baldness pattern and/or can't be bothered to spend time styling it properly.

But then I stand corrected because his hair still looks like shit. What the hell, man.
 

BlueSpark

kiwifarms.net
More about Cosmo/Narcissa's new haircut:


A summary for anyone that doesn't want to watch:

He appears on stream with his fucked-up hair (cut to odd lengths on each side of his head) and the enablers in his chat start complimenting him immediately.

He talks about whether or not it's "salvageable" with chat after someone says that it is.

He apparently has a bath filling in his bathroom and his boyfriend in chat warns him it will flood if he leaves it.

He starts talking about why he did it (cut his hair) and says he didn't like the shape of his hairline. One of the morons in his chat mentions maybe getting a hair transplant and Cosmo says that that would be too much of a hassle and too expensive.

Someone asks him when he decided to cut it and he responds "whilst I was having a mental breakdown. It seemed like the thing to do, you know, Britney Spears and all that."

He says that he's taken Klonopin.

He talks about creating a rap song (apparently he made one already or something, I haven't heard it) and someone in chat says that they'll edit it for him if he wants.

Someone in chat accuses Cosmo of being addicted to the Klonopin and Cosmo responds that the guy had better "report back to home base at /r/samandtolki, to, like, shit-talk me more"
upload_2017-8-2_0-43-27.png


On the subject of making music, someone asks him if he knows music theory. Cosmo responds that he doesn't, but that "I don't need to. Because, if I tried hard, if I actually tried, I think I could piece together some kind of flow. " He later says that he knows when something sounds good/bad and can tell when things are wrong (oh god, the irony)

He's warned again about the bath flooding.

The mouth-breathers in chat enable him some more and someone offers to produce his album and Cosmo says that he could have made a better song if he put more effort in.
upload_2017-8-2_0-53-32.png


He says that his electric shaver is broken so he cut his hair with scissors. He likens cutting his hair with people who self-harm and says it's the same kind of feeling, a "self-destructive urge"

He says that he may not be expressing himself properly because of the Klonopin but that "making people hate me, in my position, is super easy" but that it's hard to build good-will and connections with people. Someone says that people that are "known" on the internet are always hated and Cosmo responds that he needs a new internet.

He says that he's in a good mood but that that's likely due to the drugs.

Someone in chat says that "the scrubs on 4chan decided to hate you" and Cosmo responds that the people on 4chan barely post about him and that it's reddit that's "fucking horrible."

He talks about reddit shit-talking him. Transcript (asterisks are for words where it's hard to understand what he's saying and I'm not sure that it's correct):

"They didn't post, like, a single nice thing about me after I've been struggling for weeks to get the Breathe of the Wild all main quests time,* like, they just don't fucking care"

"But the moment I show up on stream and I'm, like, venting and, like, kinda feeling depressive, they just fucking sink their claws deeper.
Like, when I'm excellent, when I'm actually excellent, I silence them. That's the one time that they're quiet, is when I'm perfect. They won't say a fucking nice thing about me but they're eerily* just, like, inflicting their horrific cruelty on me all the time"

Someone in chat asks him why he cares about reddit, he says they're trying to tear him down. He says that any emotional weakness from him gets pulled at and that it's impossible to be perfect all the time. And he reiterates that they (I'm guessing he means people on reddit but he might mean people generally) never acknowledge his success, tells the people he's talking about to fuck themselves and tells someone named "Peaches" to go fuck himself because he replied to a thread or something.

He says he doesn't know what happened to him today, that his new shirt came and he turned his stream on and became depressed. He says that he thinks that it's because he got no appreciation for a recent speedrunning record in Zelda and now he feels like he's "treading water."

"Me feeling-like-shit gets way more attention than me putting my full attention into something I'm passionate for."
He says that he isn't sad (which he's says is because he's high on Klonopin), that he's just trying to explain his feelings and that he has problems speaking.

He goes to check on the bath after being reminded by chat. He returns and says that the plug had slipped out of the drain so the bath hadn't even been filling. He says that he fixed that.

"I genuinely believe that, due to my hard work, perseverance and my talent and my ingenuity that I deserve the success that came to me in the past.
I genuinely believe that.
So, at this stage in my life, when I'm pouring similar amounts of effort, maybe even more effort, into this new journey and then not getting a feedback? Like, getting a small reaction to it? That actually really bothers me.
I dunno, my mind's roaming across different details of what I've done, and, like, thinking about algorithms and Speedruns Live and all the community-building shit... It's like I've all this residual trauma from speedrunning... Fucking... Crazy.
On top of that, too, it wasn't just that: But I was also streaming. And that's what people kind of knew me for, but it wasn't just, like, one or two fucking runs that I did. I fucking poured myself into it."

Someone responds that he needs to make his own happiness:
upload_2017-8-2_1-35-24.png


Cosmo responds to this that he feels like a punching bag.

He says that it's hard that people don't respond to his runs, he says that people used to be supportive and the mean people were in small numbers but, now, he feels like most people treat him like a punching bag.

He talks about feeling depressed when he started streaming, again.

He bans someone for pointing out that someone subscribed and Cosmo didn't thank them. After banning the guy, Cosmo talks about it being another bridge burnt and seems to tell everyone in the chat to go fuck themselves.

Someone else subscribes immediately after he tells chat to fuck themselves and Cosmo points out that the timing is funny. He then says that the guy he just banned deserved it for having whatever "Twitch Prime" is yet not subscribing to Cosmo, calling it "insulting."
Someone points out the new subscriber is a "new bridge" and Cosmo reads that aloud.

He says that he feels ugly and that the internet makes him feel ugly. He says that he'll stream tomorrow, apologies for being "broken" and says weird stuff about the internet being "real."
And that's the end.

I typed this up because I've a feeling he's going to delete this video.

Misc screenshots showing his hair and his chat being exceptional individuals:
cosmo haircut 1 .PNG
Cosmo haircut 2 .PNG
cosmo haircut 3 .PNG
Cosmo haircut 4.PNG
Cosmo haircut 5 .PNG
Cosmo Narcissa cuts own hair  chat reactions haircut.PNG
cosmo haircut 5.PNG
Cosmo haircut 6.PNG
cosmo haircut 7.PNG

Edit: Fixed some formatting and rephrased some things for clarity.
 
Last edited:

ERROR_ENTRY

kiwifarms.net
Here's where it gets interesting. Her GF at the time was a user named Feiqn (proof in the Twitter bio) but this GF was the same person who months prior to the suicide accused another speedrunner (Viskiv) of molesting her in her sleep. I'm told she's as big of a lolcow as Cosmo.
Well, I checked their twitter profile and the first post I saw was about them being homeless and begging for money. Make of that what you will
 

Picaninnyfreeze

a summertime treat
kiwifarms.net
More about Cosmo/Narcissa's new haircut:


A summary for anyone that doesn't want to watch:

He appears on stream with his fucked-up hair (cut to odd lengths on each side of his head) and the enablers in his chat start complimenting him immediately.

He talks about whether or not it''s "salvageable" with chat after someone says that it is.

He apparently has a bath filling in his bathroom and his boyfriend in chat warns him it will flood if he leaves it.

He starts talking about why he did it and says he didn't like the shape of his hairline. One of the morons in his chat mentions maybe getting a hair transplant and Cosmo says that that would be too much of a hassle and too expensive.

Someone asks him when he decided to cut it and he responds "whilst I was having a mental breakdown. It seemed like the thing to do, you know, Britney Spears and all that."

He says that he's taken Klonopin.

He talks about creating a rap song (apparently he made one already or something, I haven't heard it) and someone in chat says that they'll edit it for him if he wants.

Someone in chat accuses Cosmo of being addicted to the Klonopin and Cosmo responds that the guy had better "report back to home base at /r/samandtolki, to, like, shit-talk me more"
View attachment 256111

On the subject of making music, someone asks him if he knows music theory. Cosmo responds that he doesn't, but that "I don't need to. Because, if I tried hard, if I actually tried, I think I could piece together some kind of flow. " He later says that he knows when something sounds good/bad and can tell when things are wrong (oh god, the irony)

He's warned again about the bath flooding.

The mouth breathers in chat enable him some more and someone offers to produce his album and Cosmo says that he could have made a better song if he put more effort in.
View attachment 256124

He says that his electric shaver is broken so he cut his hair with scissors. He likens cutting his hair with people who self-harm and says it's the same kind of feeling, a "self-destructive urge"

He says that he may not be expressing himself properly because of the Klonopin but that "making people hate me, in my position, is super easy" but that it's hard to build good-will and connections with people. Someone says that people that are "known" on the internet are always hated and Cosmo responds that he needs a new internet.

He says that he's in a good mood but that that's likely due to the drugs.

Someone in chat says that "the scrubs on 4chan decided to hate you" and Cosmo responds that the people on 4chan barely post about him and that it's reddit that's "fucking horrible."

He talks about reddit shit-talking him. Transcript (asterisks are for words where it's hard to understand what he's saying and I'm not sure that it's correct):

"They didn't post, like, a single nice thing about me after I've been struggling for weeks to get the Breathe of the Wild all main quests time* like, they just don't fucking care"

"But the moment I show up on stream and I'm, like, venting and, like, kinda feeling depressive, they just fucking sink their claws deeper. Like, when I'm excellent, when I'm actually excellent, I silence them. That's the one time that they're quiet, is when I'm perfect. They won't say a fucking nice thing about me but they're eerily* just like inflicting their horrific cruelty on me all the time"

Someone in chat asks him why he cares about reddit, he says they're trying to tear him down. He says that any emotional weakness from him gets pulled at and that it's impossible to be perfect all the time. And he reiterates that they never acknowledge his success, tells them to fuck themselves and tells someone named "Peaches" to go fuck himself because he replied to a thread or something.

He says he doesn't know what happened to him today, that his new shirt came and he turned his stream on and became depressed. He says that he thinks that it's because he got no appreciation for a recent speed-running record in Zelda and now he feels like he's "treading water."

"Me feeling-like-shit gets way more attention than me putting my full attention into something I'm passionate for."
He says that he isn't sad (which he's says is because he's high on Klonopin), that he's just trying to explain and that he has problems speaking.

"I genuinely believe that, due to my hard work, perseverance and my talent and my ingenuity that I deserve the success that came to me in the past.
I genuinely believe that.
So, at this stage in my life, when I'm pouring similar amounts of effort, maybe even more effort, into this new journey and then not getting a feedback? Like, getting a small reaction to it? That actually really bothers me.
I dunno, my mind's roaming across different details of what I've done, and, like, thinking about: algorithms and Speedruns Live and all the community-building shit... It's like I've all this residual trauma from speedrunning... Fucking... Crazy.
On top of that, too,it wasn't just that: But I was also streaming. And that's what people kind of knew me for, but it wasn't just, like, one or two fucking runs that I did. I fucking poured myself into it."

Someone responds that he needs to make his own happiness:
View attachment 256148

Cosmo responds to this that he feels like a punching bag.

He says that it's hard that people don't respond to his runs, he says that people used to be supportive and the mean people were in small numbers but, now, he feels like most people treat him like a punching bag.

He talks about feeling depressed when he started streaming, again.

He bans someone for pointing out that someone subscribed and Cosmo didn't thank them. After banning the guys Cosmo talks about it being another bridge burnt and seems to tell everyone in the chat to go fuck themselves. Someone else subscribes immediately after he tells chat to fuck themselves and Cosmo points out that the timing is funny. He then says that the guy he banned deserved it for having whatever "Twitch Prime" is yet not subscribing to Cosmo, calling it "insulting." Someone points out the new subscriber is a "new bridge" and Cosmo reads that aloud.

He says that he feels ugly and that the internet makes him feel ugly. He says that he'll stream tomorrow, apologies for being "broken" and says weird stuff about the internet being "real."
And that's the end.

I typed this up because I've a feeling he's going to delete this video.

Misc screenshots showing his hair and his chat being exceptional individuals:

Edit: Fixed some formatting and rephrased some things for clarity.

Awesome write up. Sincere thank you as its so much easier.

By the way peaches is a speedrunner. I do not know him personally but if someone randomly asked me who is the nicest and most chill person in the world peaches might come to mind. And I'm a pretty cynical person. In other words if peaches is talking shit on you, you've hit bottom.
 

BlueSpark

kiwifarms.net
I wonder if the tub finally flooded over while he was whining.
Nah, he checks on it towards the end of the stream and reports back that he didn't put the plug in properly and that the bath wasn't actually filling and he had to set it again.

I didn't add the trips to and from the bathroom to my post because it was kind of irrelevant to the stream (I've added it now, though, so people aren't left wondering). If he had actually put the plug in properly I think the bath would certainly have overflowed given how long he left it running, though.
 

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