Containment Random Chris Updates -

[Mason Verger]

Like if Chris actually gets a bite, you think he'll be a dick at the meeting?

I can see Chris being visibly bored when whatever sped would pay for this goes into a long diatribe about how Chris MUST watch evanjellyon to truly appreciate the finest anime. After 10 minutes Chris would give them about as much respect as he gives Waterman.

 

[Prussian Blue]

How Chris would react would surely come down to who the buyer was. If it was a @Jack Z type sped or similar Bronycon ilk with similar interests, Chris would probably have fun and go over the allotted hang out time.
If it's the opposite and it's a big black man, Chris would uhmm, hmm and ahh awkwardly before letting out a fart and leaving after exactly 15 minutes.

imo it's a semi-good idea, he can get out and socialize, be reimbursed for travel, maybe get a free lunch and still keep all his toys. Shame nobody will take him up on it.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I hope you are right. I don't like Chris, but I don't want him to be kidnapped and fucking tortured by some edge lord.

Chris's obesity will make it harder to kidnap him

 

[Mason Verger]

How Chris would react would surely come down to who the buyer was. If it was a @Jack Z type sped or similar Bronycon ilk with similar interests, Chris would probably have fun and go over the allotted hang out time.
If it's the opposite and it's a big black man, Chris would uhmm, hmm and ahh awkwardly before letting out a fart and leaving after exactly 15 minutes.

imo it's a semi-good idea, he can get out and socialize, be reimbursed for travel, maybe get a free lunch and still keep all his toys. Shame nobody will take him up on it.

If it's a boyfriend free girl anywhere above a 4 he'll probably start moving his stuff in.

 

[nvrwastetree]

Fuck off Bryan. If youre gonna draw shit of lolcows for notoriety then just join the site. We have an art section.

But it wouldn't give Bryan the positive attention he craves from the morons like Chris who have a Twitter.

View attachment 446103

$500 and you have to buy him lunch too? Half an hour maximum and he'll spend 20 minutes of it stuffing his gob. That deal is just getting better and better!

Can't wait for some dumbass to actually pay $500 to get a visit from pritine Christine, only for Chris to either end up driving to the wrong state/house, or the person in question ends up getting Chris to drive across 4-5 states, with toll roads, for the promise of tribbing and getting delicious china.

Oh yeah, he may not actively try to be an asshole, but he'll definitely come off as one.

That or he will throw a temper tantrum.at the person's house because they wanted to do something other than watch MLP cartoons with Chris. Hopefully Chris doesn't break anything when the inevitable happens, because he may end up getting arrested, or worse.

 

[Ted_Breakfast]

And to think that right now, there's some ween who wants to get efamous and is begging his mom for some good boy points to buy this amazing deal

The irony of weens is that if they really wanted genuine respect from the trolling community (which is a silly goal to begin with), they don't have to spend a dime. Just go somewhere where the da trolls congregate, like KF or the CWCki, and just say interesting or funny things. Just sit there and do things that deserve respect, no scheming or expense involved.

But then again, it's easier to spend your single mother's money than it is to be clever, I guess.

 

[riceboi]

Im not gonna lie. I really hope someween buys the $500 visit+Dox deal and its awkward as fuck. If they video it it'd be even better. The stress sigh count would be through the roof.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

I guess there's this naivety that someone can befriend Chris when in reality he already has people I'm assuming who he might go out to eat with and watch movies (we already know that at least). He might hug you and be all friendly at first but I think he'll definitely show some awkwardness or even haughtiness because he realizes he'll never be your friend and its on your dime. I just can't think of a situation where it would be worth it to give him much more money than dinner and a movie.

 

[Raiken]

So does anyone know he would still prostitude himself? It's far cheaper to meet up with him this way.
I'm asking for a friend.

 

[Done]

I can see Chris being visibly bored when whatever sped would pay for this goes into a long diatribe about how Chris MUST watch evanjellyon to truly appreciate the finest anime. After 10 minutes Chris would give them about as much respect as he gives Waterman.

Basically this, @Marvin , I think that if you have common interests with Chris, then I agree with you, that hour will go by very quickly and you may ask for more if Chris was funny, but if you don't (especially if he gets invited by someone with a very specific idea of how he wants the visit to go.

Speaking of Waterman, the explicit disrespect he and Kengle got from Chris is probably top 10 Chris moments of 2018 material. It's almost as if making money on a semi-regular basis + starting actual exercise at a nice place actually increased Chris's self-confidence, imagine the surprise!

That or he will throw a temper tantrum.at the person's house because they wanted to do something other than watch MLP cartoons with Chris. Hopefully Chris doesn't break anything when the inevitable happens, because he may end up getting arrested, or worse.

I don't think Chris does temper tantrums any more, at least not how you are envisioning it, I think he will just whine loudly and incessantly in that weird squawky "Christine" voice of his. Like in the "buy my stuff" Twitch stream if you saw that, that was surreal.

Chris would only tard out if things were truly dire, like when he thought he lost what he believed to be his final chance at a sweetheart (Jessica), or if the house is actually foreclosed on or something like that, but would it be reasonable for us to blame him for it if the latter case happens?

I hope you are right. I don't like Chris, but I don't want him to be kidnapped and fucking tortured by some edge lord.

Dude, you're exceptional, the very worst thing that can happen is some ween tries to get him to watch or play Sonic Boom while eating pickle sandwiches or something like that.

 

[crayolasword]

Hur Hur I paid Chris the $500 to hang out with him but here’s the catch. I gave him an address that doesn’t exist. When he shows up he’s gonna tard rage so hard because no one is there. It’s gonna be epic.

 

[BananaBlue]

YOU BETTER BEHAVE FUCKERS!

 

[nvrwastetree]

YOU BETTER BEHAVE FUCKERS!View attachment 446242

You're way late. This was posted a page or two back.

 

[I_Am_Honor_Roll]

Some of the shit you say, dude...


99% of people just want to observe or laugh at him, not a lot of people hate him and no one is going to pay $500 to hate-crime Chris.

No one is going to pay $500 for Chris to show up because we know that if he is given the money, he'll just make excuse after excuse to get out of actually showing up.

Remember when DStecks paid $1000 to Chris to write pages of Sonichu? Yeah. Down the fucking toilet.

 

[Okkervils]

You're way late. This was posted a page or two back.

He can't help it. He has an IQ of 78 and he's trying.

No one is going to pay $500 for Chris to show up because we know that if he is given the money, he'll just make excuse after excuse to get out of actually showing up.

Remember when DStecks paid $1000 to Chris to write pages of Sonichu? Yeah. Down the fucking toilet.

I try not to make any assumptions anymore with Chris and money... If I recall correctly he recently bragged about driving to a guy's house to sell/drop off some toy of his. He might do it, maybe not. It's probably unlikely though.

I kinda feel like if he does go through with it, the visit will take place with him in his van, talking through a cracked window.

 

[UW 411]

View attachment 445923[/QUOTE]
Chris realises that true and honest ladies don't shave their forearms, right? (:autism:, yes I know...)

Real hirsuited wiminz wax or use hair removal cream and most women don't need to do anything to their forearm follicles...

 

[AllMightyCow]

 

[asperhes]

"And NO, I am not SELLING myself in the WAY PEOPLE THINK!...People thinking otherwise are MOST DISGUSTING!"

Hey asshole, you're the one who made the fucking suggestion in the first place. We suspect that you're whoring yourself because you've offered to whore yourself, dipshit.

 

[I_Am_Honor_Roll]

Wow. That puts it in a whole new perspective.

 

[Rupin]

No one is going to pay $500 for Chris to show up because we know that if he is given the money, he'll just make excuse after excuse to get out of actually showing up.

Remember when DStecks paid $1000 to Chris to write pages of Sonichu? Yeah. Down the fucking toilet.

Somebody already did.