DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Almighty MoeBro Nation]

Phil must've gotten all his physical traits from Linda because he looks nothing like his father.

View attachment 2840520 View attachment 2840528

Jesus Christ I'm genuinely shocked. I've been lurking these threads for years and I've never seen a pic of DSP's father before. They seriously look like they could be the same age

In my head I always just assumed Daddy Dave would look like a stereotypical Italian American greaseball. I figured you would have to be pretty ugly to spawn Phil into the world.

This might be one of the most unfortunate genetic fuckups I've ever seen. I would almost feel bad for Phil if he wasn't such an insufferable dipshit

 

[Iron Father]

Jesus Christ I'm genuinely shocked. I've been lurking these threads for years and I've never seen a pic of DSP's father before. They seriously look like they could be the same age

That photo of Phil's father is from this year too. It's not like Phil looks about as old as his father did several years ago. That is what Phil's father looks like right now.

#FeelsFuckingBadMan

 

[tzgnilki]

got bored

Dave's twitter has averaged 17 tweets per day since inception in 2010 (71,427 tweets / 4128 days)

Spoiler: TWITTER ANALYTICS

authentic italian source

and the analytics also had a scale/time/graph for the frequency of tweets

points of interest

1045hrs (beginning of the morning stream)
1845hrs (beginning of the night stream)

if you can ignore the "guys i'm live/going live/now upping to DSPGAMING/twitter article", you can kinda see when the beg tweets happen lol



dm to purchase the NFT graph I designed

 

[Meerkat Ink]

got bored

Dave's twitter has averaged 17 tweets per day since inception in 2010 (71,427 tweets / 4128 days)

Spoiler: TWITTER ANALYTICS

View attachment 2840929

authentic italian source

and the analytics also had a scale/time/graph for the frequency of tweets

points of interest

1045hrs (beginning of the morning stream)
1845hrs (beginning of the night stream)

if you can ignore the "guys i'm live/going live/now upping to DSPGAMING/twitter article", you can kinda see when the beg tweets happen lol

View attachment 2840930

dm to purchase the NFT graph I designed

Any chance we can see what fraction of those tweets features the words "support", "PLEASE", "slow"? I'm betting over 30%

 

[Coomfucius]

Wolverine statue?

No joke though, if I had a 40yo son still whining about a doll I didn't buy him 30 years ago I'd have to rid the planet of him.

I wonder if Phil’s parents know about Phil bitching about a toy in one of the vlahgs? Can you imagine working for decades to raise a kid who hates you with your mountain troll wife in a dirty house that smells of cigarettes and despair. You come home to child who is growing farther apart from you everyday. You were never close to begin with but any attempts to share your interests are met with eye rolls and talk of something called Street Fighter. You still work at a soul crushing job to save money to help this stranger masquerading as your own flesh and blood. After 18 years of toiling to raise your son, he leaves without a second thought. Your son eventually becomes nothing more than a disembodied voice coming from a telephone. The sparse conversations you have are either about your sons terrible spending habits or his continuous obsession with Street Fighter. You continue to try and support your son with money meant for your retirement so that your son can play street fighter at competitions across the country. Eventually during one of the calls with your son he brags about his new YouTube channel. You decide to check out said channel to see what things your son is getting up to. You click on a random video and you are immediately hit with your son whining about a toy from 20 years ago.

 

[SomeBoyo]

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is this where phil got his setup from?

 

[Angry Mug]

Ironic that if Phil's Dad started a YouTube channel where he blogged about Judo, lifting and shooting, it'd be 100 times more interesting than his son's khantent.

 

[Meerkat Ink]

Eventually during one of the calls with your son he brags about his new YouTube channel. You decide to check out said channel to see what things your son is getting up to. You click on a random video and you are immediately hit with your son whining about a toy from 20 years ago.

Imagine looking up your successful son's name on Google and facing the fact that he's despised by most people that even know his name.

And you know, despite all the nonsense he's told you over the phone about being a victim, and life being tough - it's that little shit's fault all the way...

Then your son comes over with his horse-resembling waifu to get married so you can get the smallest bit of peace before you hit the bucket, hoping your son won't die alone, miserable, drunk and despised. You pay for all his shit, drive him everywhere, you pay for the pizza and burgers he shoves in his mouth, yet he still complains. Whines about you going the wrong way and being late, cries about the airplane ride you paid for, bitches about getting scammed for the Rent-A-Car insurance (these are all real complaints from his post-CT podcast).

You gotta have a secret wedding for him too, because he's so much of a failure in life, this bad at being a functional person, that he developed a following online based exclusively on hating him, and he's scared that someone might, I don't know, do a drive-by on the church or something (idk man, according to Fill, CT got real bad when "those people" moved in).

He's promising you the world - getting a job, paying his taxes, his debts, and all this shit you know deep down he has no intention of doing, because you know him - it's The Guy! He masturbated in front of children! ("ackchually they were teenagers")

But you still give. Like a good little paypig.

I don't know, I wouldn't understand, I'm not Italian

 

[25 Invisible push-ups]

Do we have any non blurry pictures of Linda? I know we're all assuming Phil's got his stunningly good looks from her, but it would be nice to have more to go by.

Ironic that if Phil's Dad started a YouTube channel where he blogged about Judo, lifting and shooting, it'd be 100 times more interesting than his son's khantent.

I think people who are passionate about stuff are always more interesting to watch, even if the subject matter itself doesn't interest me personally. Phil's content would also be a lot better if he decided to stream WWE Champions, though he'll never do this because that'll prove to everyone that the detractors were right all along. Though his unironic fans and whales probably wouldn't care, so it's really just his ego holding him back at this point.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Do we have any non blurry pictures of Linda? I know we're all assuming Phil's got his stunningly good looks from her, but it would be nice to have more to go by.

I don't believe so.

Doesn't really do social media that we know of, so no FB, Instagram, Twitter, etc.

Hasn't worked since the 80's so no LinkedIn or any professional online presence.

Dave doesn't really do much online either and hasn't posted any pics of her.

Maybe if you really deep dive there could possibly be some sort of church related picture, like in a church directory or something, but nothing that I've ever seen.

 

[ProvenWrong]

His Facebook interests:
View attachment 2840595

Apparently he was also a Marine

 

[Meerkat Ink]

His Facebook interests:
View attachment 2840595

Apparently he was also a Marine

He DEFINITELY Googled "can I abort a child after 40 years"

Ironic that if Phil's Dad started a YouTube channel where he blogged about Judo, lifting and shooting, it'd be 100 times more interesting than his son's khantent.

He'd be on Joe Rogan's pahdcast within a week.

Seems like momma piggy is the enabler then. Explains the Oedipus complex.

Would also make sense how his dad seems like a very handy and crafty man, and Fill has absolutely nothing like that in his DNA.
We're talking about the guy who duct tapes his fire alarm to the ceiling, and duct tapes his coat rack to the wall.

Imagine being (allegedly) a Marine, or having undergone any army training and your offspring being a dude who's completely fucked up and can't do shit to save his life.

DAVE, GET OUT OF THERE, THAT PLACE IS TAHXIC

Likely they're not very big fans of each other.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Phil must've gotten all his physical traits from Linda because he looks nothing like his father.

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Spoiler

View attachment 2840537

Feels genetically scammed man.

Holy fucking shit man, that's how Papa Dave looks like now? He's in his mid 60s right? He looks great for an old fuck, like he'll easily reach the age of 90 at this rate. When I saw this the first thing I thought of was during the marriage scam when Phil said that his parents could die at any moment because they're old and sick dood! Another time he repeated that lie was 2020's Begsgiving stream where he sperged out about MUH COIVD and said that a MORON relative of his wanted to visit his parents for Begsgiving and risk them getting their COVID negative necks being POZed by their relative's possibly COVID positive knee! Doesn't that STOOPID relative know that his parents are very sickly and dying?

Meanwhile from the two pictures it's Phail who looks like he'll keel over from a stroke/heart attack/liver cirrhosis at any moment now, unbelievable. And that pic of Phil is from a few years ago when he did the phone stream, Papa Dave's pic is from this year.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

His father raising him like this is an insult to society

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and speculate that his dad didn't have much to do with raising Phil, Phil staying home and watching the shopping network and this being a "normal" thing for a 13-15 year old boy suggests that Phill was raised as a mommas boy by his mom.

I have an autistic theory but it might explain a lot about little Phillip. I think Dave may not be Phil’s father and Linda was whoring around the means streets of Connecticut. Growing up Phil wasn’t very close to Dave for whatever reason and this created a rift in their relationship. I doubt Phil’s mother did much besides giving him cash and telling him to fuck off to the arcade. As a result of this Phil never grew to understand the value of money because money was always a whiny demand away. It also explains why Phil only likes sitting on his ass playing video games all day and having idiots throw cash at him.

Going over what I remember of Phil throwing his parents under the bus to either look good , or make excuses has always made me think that Dave (the real one) wasn't home much.

This was probably partly because of work, but the cheating in the marrige probably happened from when Phil was very young and the only reason they stayed together was a generational thing and because catholic.

Imagine looking up your successful son's name on Google and facing the fact that he's despised by most people that even know his name.

And you know, despite all the nonsense he's told you over the phone about being a victim, and life being tough - it's that little shit's fault all the way...

Then your son comes over with his horse-resembling waifu to get married so you can get the smallest bit of peace before you hit the bucket, hoping your son won't die alone, miserable, drunk and despised. You pay for all his shit, drive him everywhere, you pay for the pizza and burgers he shoves in his mouth, yet he still complains. Whines about you going the wrong way and being late, cries about the airplane ride you paid for, bitches about getting scammed for the Rent-A-Car insurance (these are all real complaints from his post-CT podcast).

You gotta have a secret wedding for him too, because he's so much of a failure in life, this bad at being a functional person, that he developed a following online based exclusively on hating him, and he's scared that someone might, I don't know, do a drive-by on the church or something (idk man, according to Fill, CT got real bad when "those people" moved in).

He's promising you the world - getting a job, paying his taxes, his debts, and all this shit you know deep down he has no intention of doing, because you know him - it's The Guy! He masturbated in front of children! ("ackchually they were teenagers")

But you still give. Like a good little paypig.

I don't know, I wouldn't understand, I'm not Italian

Really sums up Phils life achievements, really fucking pathetic when you read it like this......even more so than I normally think.

And just a minor correction that probably doesn't even matter that much. Dave is of English liniage, the mobster part if from his moms side.

Edit: And giving money to a fuckup child really isn't that unusual, parents sometimes do really weird shit, and Dave (again the real one..you know the one with all the interesting hobbies) might agree to throw $$ at his fuckup son (or maybe just wife's son, who really knows) to avoid getting nagged to death.

 

[Vic's Japanese Stepfather]

It's been said before but Linda Burnell, as blurry as she is, looks like Lady Di from Opie & Anthony Radio:

View attachment 2840919

Lady Di also looks like Phil, and they're both alcoholics.

And now she's in an assisted living facility, barely clinging to life, operating under the gin brain belief that she's in the Navy again. That's your future, Phil. Speaking of the O&A universe, DSP has always reminded me of Opie -- an unfunny, delusional narcissist who doesn't understand why he became famous in the first place, alienated all of his friends and coworkers, and now desperately clings to a dying legacy while streaming to an ever dwindling cabal of followers. An ignominious end for them both.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

And now she's in an assisted living facility, barely clinging to life, operating under the gin brain belief that she's in the Navy again. That's your future, Phil. Speaking of the O&A universe, DSP has always reminded me of Opie -- an unfunny, delusional narcissist who doesn't understand why he became famous in the first place, alienated all of his friends and coworkers, and now desperately clings to a dying legacy while streaming to an ever dwindling cabal of followers. An ignominious end for them both.

What's even funnier is that the Opester's numbers are much shittier than Phail's. Also another thing they have in common is them talking about da trollz all the time, or in the Opester's case it would be seething about those fucking HATERS, man.

 

[cat2770]

Finance Business Degree didn't help him financially after all these years and he gets jealous from other youtubers / streamers for making 10x than he makes.

 

[Balr0g]

What goes the bet that Phil is actually NOT Dave's son but someone elses? I mean I doubt it after all a good parent doesn't mean the offspring turn out good too. But heck that's a difference between night and day.

 

[Genichiro]

What goes the bet that Phil is actually NOT Dave's son but someone elses? I mean I doubt it after all a good parent doesn't mean the offspring turn out good too. But heck that's a difference between night and day.

Princess Phillipa the Pudgy and Pasty could be Dave's closeted older step tard- brother, had the birth records not proved otherwise.

Or Darksy could just like, drink less, get some sun, smile and say thank you more, with genuine and non-begging intentions.

 

[DeeTracktor]

I like that Dave Burnell is getting the full ''Nothing he could do, it was Linda's fault'' treatment here in regards to Phil's upbringing