Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

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Hippopatumus said:
Pretty sure the primary issue with inspections on Groverhaus was that he had put outlets like every 9 inches on his kitchen ceiling, I guess to soothe some sort of power-related traumatic childhood experience and an electrical inspector told him that wasn't going to fly so he threatened to get his own certification and sign off on his own shit. I'm not sure that he ever did though.
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He did. Grover is/was an electrical engineer, which explains his autism, his arrogance, but also his ability to sign off on his own shit as an electrical inspector.
 
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Hollywood Hulk Hogan said:
Who is that? She's pretty hot. Lowtax was a decent looking guy in his younger days though
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Someone by the username Fawnette that he dated at one point. Here are a couple of old posts ITT with stories:

Mister Dongs said:
Oh I know this story.

Lowtax was holding a meetup at his place, and to be one of the few to go on a fabled Goon-Hajj to meet Lowtax himself was truly an incomparable honor, a golden ticket to the inner manbaby circle. One naiive goons, a 'yadder as I recall, brought his girlfriend with him.
And as the goon was enraptured with worshipful awe at the chance to see the goonlord in the pale, out of shape flesh, the goon's girlfriend, being a woman, naturally gravitated towards the clearly socially superior male. And Lowtax, being the upstanding guy we all know him to be, encouraged her to register an account on her forums, which she did as "Fawnette". The awkward online courtship and vengeful nood-leaking that followed were par for the course for FYAD in that era, and in a way it was kind of accepted by goons at that point to get cucked by the webmaster of their favorite internet forum. I even made a fun smiley emoji to commemorate the latest e-ho addition to the forums.

After all, chinkwife and Integral were also girlfriends of goons who were brought along to meet Lowtax IRL.
The lesson is: don't bring your girlfriend along if you're going to simp for an e-celeb kids.
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MirnaMinkoff said:
I did not know this, but either before or after Integral, Lowtax dated another goonette with the SN Fawnette. She was the famous smiley of a blonde flashing her tits. (Also a photo posted of Lowtax proposing to her which may or may not be a joke.)

She returned for a brief moment in 2015. The killjoys seemed to chase her off with “being uncomfortable” by a female not ashamed of flashing her titties.

I wonder if that smiley still works or if it was deleted for being “problematic”
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from the linked SA thread:
ZpBhITS.jpg


Fun fact: Lowtax was 27 in this photo. It's wild to think about how that guy in that photo will be dead by his own hand in 18 years' time, after dating an insane person who was still a child when this photo was taken.
 
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Pissmaster said:
Someone by the username Fawnette that he dated at one point. Here are a couple of old posts ITT with stories:





from the linked SA thread:
View attachment 2767367

Fun fact: Lowtax was 27 in this photo. It's wild to think about how that guy in that photo will be dead by his own hand in 18 years' time, after dating an insane person who was still a child when this photo was taken.
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Imagine committing suicide because you're such an absolute piece of shit that blowing your brains out is somehow preferable to supporting your children.
 
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NeoGAF Lurker said:
He did. Grover is/was an electrical engineer, which explains his autism, his arrogance, but also his ability to sign off on his own shit as an electrical inspector.
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Its even better than that, inspectors refused to sign off on his work repeatedly, so he got his inspection license just so he could sign his own work off. Basically doing everything in his power to ensure if there was a problem his ass was up shit creek.
 
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Pissmaster said:
Someone by the username Fawnette that he dated at one point. Here are a couple of old posts ITT with stories:





from the linked SA thread:
View attachment 2767367

Fun fact: Lowtax was 27 in this photo. It's wild to think about how that guy in that photo will be dead by his own hand in 18 years' time, after dating an insane person who was still a child when this photo was taken.
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I used to get such a strong urge to punch Lowtax right in his retarded smarmy fucking face whenever I saw these pictures, but now I just think about how he permanently punched himself in the face, with a bullet. Lowtax ruins everything, even my irrational anger.
AnOminous said:
Imagine being such a fuckwad that if a court ordered you to support your own children, you'd prefer to commit cobain instead. Lmao.
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Yeah, but were his daughters delicious opioid pills? No. Don't pretend like you wouldn't make the same choice if the evil US courts made you trade your pills for your own offspring, gooftroop.
 
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AnOminous said:
Wtf are you talking about? More like shits, pisses, vomits, this bastard deserves only vile bodily functions. If he'd taken even a single bit of advice he got in the last year before he died, he'd still be collecting five figures for doing nothing and chomping down on Goldbelly pies and swallowing pills.

He chose to ignore every single bit of good advice he got while simultaneously blaming the people who gave him that advice for his failures when he ignored them.

If there is a Hell, he's in it.
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Except for migrating the forum to xenforo...
 
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Dyn said:
Groverhaus and that racist hot dog guy will get mentioned more than him.
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doobie's doghouse might have been one of the funniest things to come out of the forums. groverhaus is just the story of icarus without the ending but doobie's doghouse is legitimately approaching O. Henry levels of absurd irony. you had a bunch of kumbaya types get together to raise a shitload of money to help someone up they percieved as being a victim of circumstance, who was actually just poor and inexperienced because he was extremely impulsive and irresponsible. i don't remember any of the specifics but i distinctly remember a hood vent being part of the issue, something like he decided to 'expand' barely weeks after his business opened and the planned changes, that cost more money than he had on hand at the time, ended up forcing the health department to close his restaurant due to either active construction he refused to resolve or building code violations he also refused to resolve

doobie's incompetence wasn't the funny part, the funny part was all of the shitlibs with completely unrealistic expectations who legitimately thought giving this guy handouts was going to set him on the straight and narrow and set up a hot dog franchise. they weren't giving this guy a hot dog stand, they legitimately thought his bright eyed 'hot dog franchise' plan had some merit to it and i legitimately don't think he sold a single hot dog
 
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It was hilarious watching goons, most of whom likely have never stepped foot outside a major metropolitan area, all smugly assuring themselves how successful this hot dog stand in Buttfuck Alabama was going to be. I distinctly remember someone saying that it would draw huge crowds of truckers, with the logic that discussing "locations for fresh hot snacks" is surely something that truckers do regularly over the CB airwaves.
 
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bucolic said:
It was hilarious watching goons, most of whom likely have never stepped foot outside a major metropolitan area, all smugly assuring themselves how successful this hot dog stand in Buttfuck Alabama was going to be. I distinctly remember someone saying that it would draw huge crowds of truckers, with the logic that discussing "locations for fresh hot snacks" is surely something that truckers do regularly over the CB airwaves.
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Never heard of this before, so I looked it up. Not within two minutes of an Interstate, so no truckers ever. Looooool.
 
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