Skitzocow Connor Murphy - Body Building Youtube Superstar turned Drugged Out Peepee Guru who Drinks Cum for the Health Benefits

jje100010001

kiwifarms.net
How does this guy get released from the loony bin so easily? He's basically retarded at this point, hell if you compare his earliest guru videos to the videos he posts now, his brain has gotten way worse. Seems like he'll never get better, the drugs have fried his brain, no going back.
The deinstitutionalization movement pushed by progressives meaning that mental health hospitals can no longer hold people against their will + Reaganite conservatives gleefully cutting mental hospital beds as a result (“if it ain’t used, it ain’t needed!”).

This is really one of the root causes of the homeless crisis out there, and Connor is about one or two bank accounts numbers away from losing his apartment and then everything else.

To add to this- if he ends up on the street and then loses his phone, then that’s when things go to 11...
 
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Kripolkripa

kiwifarms.net
It's funny, I remember seeing this guy about a year back when he was first having his mental breakdown and was surprised to see there was no thread on him on this site when I joined. He really is an interesting look at how drug-induced psychosis can effect people given his years-long history on the internet as well as his original stuff being classic YouTube "cringe" which he himself became self-aware of. Had a buddy in high school who did acid nearly constantly and there are a lot of clear similarities in behavior, key signifier being a complete disconnect from reality and ignorance of surrounding stimuli and an inability to actually converse or say anything that makes consistent sense. It's easy to focus on "Oh it was the ayahuasca" but I'm pretty sure his brain in general is just being damaged, people with rotting brains tend to adopt the same kind of behavior irrespective of the cause.
 

knobslobbin

survivorship bias
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I choose to believe that Connor is on a spiritual journey of epic proportions, and while it may appear to us that he just dies after going insane that on some other plane of existence he begins a mind-blowing journey that few ever realize.
soManyStars.gif

edit: and just maybe he comes back and begins a new enlightenment based on ball gravy consumption. Nut juice becomes the most valuable substance on earth for a brief time until all have transcended.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
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has anyone seen this yet? Looks like the documentary that was mentioned in the girl's video
Well, it’s interesting they note his family has given up on him. Not surprisingly they’ve probably been dealing with this shit for many months behind the scenes. I’m sure everyone did a lot for him after his initial breakdown but battle fatigue sets in pretty fast with a guy as psychotic and stubborn as this.

Interesting to see he’s just as crazy in daily life as his psychosis videos would lead one to believe. Gotta wonder what his neighbors think of him and if his landlord has any idea what’s happening in that apartment.

He seems very fixated on death and cock. I think he was a bipolar gay man in denial who had an existential crisis once Covid hit and DMT was the worst thing in the world for him to try and fix his brain with.

He’s going to be homeless and then dead in short order at this pace. Six months or less if nothing drastically changes.
 
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Menotaur

kiwifarms.net

has anyone seen this yet? Looks like the documentary that was mentioned in the girl's video
I dunno... after watching that documentary I've certainty hung out with people way more off the wall than that. Simply put; his brain is loading more programs (ideas) than the RAM (mind) can handle and he circles back to whatever is getting his attention at that moment. This is not that uncommon when you are absolutely flying on a cocktail of things.

Of course, you can tell he is an alright dude who is totally fucked up. Best people to party with IMO.

I'd certainly do a few shakers with him mixed with some other drinks for a good time - it would be a laugh riot I reckon; a fucking laugh riot. One thing you gotta do is when someone is like this is contribute to the conversation and not to make him the center of it all - because they won't shut up and keep trying to think of things to say simply because you aren't talking. Get involved and wax enthusiasm for what is going on instead of standing there trying to get deep and meaningful with the guy - talk about a fucking drag on a good time.

If it was me doing the doco fuck it, I'd take him for a night on the town, hire some maids to clean the place and when he got home and asked what the fuck happened to his place I'd tell the guy and tell him fucking celestial angels came and did it for him. Or a black Jaguar from the jungle came and did it.

If a guy is going to implode, give him some gasoline and a few matches cause he is going to do it anyway, and have a good time with him at the same time. I can't believe they didn't go back for the global zoom call - so fucking straight laced - have some god damn fun cause he's rearing to go.

Guys a party animal - so fucking party.
 

Vingle

I'm Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! 百田 解斗
True & Honest Fan
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If it was me doing the doco fuck it, I'd take him for a night on the town, hire some maids to clean the place and when he got home and asked what the fuck happened to his place I'd tell the guy and tell him fucking celestial angels came and did it for him. Or a black Jaguar from the jungle came and did it.
I never get people wanting to pay shit for people, without demanding at least sex *sigh*
 

Vulva Gape

White Boy Summer
kiwifarms.net
From the gays at LPSG we have more info on what went on of the day of the infamous cum chalice:

just as a heads up, i bought his video of him "eating cum" when i was not very sober. The video is basically 8 minutes of another guy jerking off into a cup,then conor comes in, mixes a full packet of like ground berry sauce into it then drinks the cup but you don't really see anything it mostly just looks like berries, the only thing that wasn't shitty about this obvious bait & switch video is that he at least seems to actually drink the cum but hes got shorts on and really only appears in the last 2-3 minutes of the video to drink berry juice out of a cup while trying to stay physically as far but not awkwardly far away from the dude with his dick out. which is pretty shitty and he won't get any money out of me again.

for context the video was called "finally took my first load and it was... amazing " after sending multiple free dm's with titles like "ok I'm about to take my first load. wish me luck" and "Really appreciate your advice on hooking up with a guy for the first time. Between you and Nico I'm getting a lot more comfortable and I'm loving where my life's at right now" then he drops a $25 video of basically another person.

1621913283034.png
I don't know about you but the way Nico was eyefucking him (and his posture :story:) I feel like they must have fucked at some point. But maybe he's just gaybaiting cause he knows it will get him more onlyfans paypigs.

I'm theorizing that part of his breakdown was repressed homosexual urges. It's almost like his older videos stemmed from insecurity, like Oh look at how many girls I can get! Seeing those girls poke his butt and pull his nipples, I mean what straight guy enjoys getting ogled like that?

I don't mean to generalize but most guys this vain and obsessed with their looks are closet fags like 50% of the time.

It would make more sense as to why he lost his shit when he lost his hair. Gays are ruthless about aging and looks (unless you're into the daddy types) while straight women are usually more lenient with that kind of stuff.

He could have lived his best homo life and instead chose to ruin his beautiful body face and mind with drugs. A true tragedy.
 

Seminal Ointments Lain

PRESENT SNEED | FORMERLY CHUCK'S | HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kiwifarms.net
I have used DMT extensively. Ayahuasca is DMT mixed with an MAOI which allows for oral consumption. I have smoked it (Changa) as well as DMT in freebase crystal form. In total probably over 100 times. When taken orally it lasts much longer but is mentally less intense because of the gradual come up and down. However the duration and gastric effects of Aya make it much more of an "ordeal".

I found the trips actually completely different. I do not know why because the active psychedelic ingredient is the same.

DMT has raped me a few times. I never experienced psychosis, but I did have a period of derealization (after a mystical experience - it is a total paradigm shift on reality), and also a week of PTSD symptoms. During that week, which was my last use, several times I would "come to" thinking I had just done DMT, then look around and see that I had not done drugs at all (flashbacks).

It is insanely powerful. The hallucinations are major of course, but it's the HEADSPACE that is most pronounced. It made me religious srs. My faith is close to Advaita Vedanta now. I was non-spiritual and held no religious belief prior.

I will answer any question about this drug and what it is like to trip on it.
When/Where is the appropriate time to use these substances? Should I wear a suit and tie? How do I conduct myself with the various extradimensional beings, so as to neither offend not appear vulnerable.
 

RMQualtrough

kiwifarms.net
When/Where is the appropriate time to use these substances? Should I wear a suit and tie? How do I conduct myself with the various extradimensional beings, so as to neither offend not appear vulnerable.
Lol'd.

If you legit want to use, I myself did not ever have a sitter just worked up in small increments. It is scarier alone. I almost always used in my bed and unclothed.

The beings never spoke to me. The beings are all you anyway. The trips changed dramatically over time, I did see jesters at first then it became weird hindu shit and then blob aliens and then abstract stuff and mind-rape. Trips were at times non-visual (like toad trips) but stupidly intense in headspace.

I never really found the entities responded to any conscious thought. One time during a VERY bad trip I tried asking what I did to offend them and they just dropkicked me in the face and made me jump... But the entities aren't real, they're you. The core message is that all of existence is literally God and God is the thing you call "I".
 

Seminal Ointments Lain

PRESENT SNEED | FORMERLY CHUCK'S | HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
kiwifarms.net
Lol'd.

If you legit want to use, I myself did not ever have a sitter just worked up in small increments. It is scarier alone. I almost always used in my bed and unclothed.

The beings never spoke to me. The beings are all you anyway. The trips changed dramatically over time, I did see jesters at first then it became weird hindu shit and then blob aliens and then abstract stuff and mind-rape. Trips were at times non-visual (like toad trips) but stupidly intense in headspace.

I never really found the entities responded to any conscious thought. One time during a VERY bad trip I tried asking what I did to offend them and they just dropkicked me in the face and made me jump... But the entities aren't real, they're you. The core message is that all of existence is literally God and God is the thing you call "I".
>muh hallucinations
Nice try, fraudster. You will never become throne.
 

HiramTheGrift

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Treasure hunt time!
I have some free time so I'm documenting Connor's three videos as they come out. Inside of them are clues that will lead to an answer or destination. The reward is a portion of his ~5 mil dogecoin. There can be 555 winners apparently. As I've said before, I do believe he had 7 mil doge and gave 2 mil of it away already. Considering he emptied 9k out of one of his accounts and leaked his ssn I'm betting it's legit. I'm not sure if anyone will follow his reasoning though and make it to the end.
Here is his comment underneath the first video, it is the transcript of what he said.

Screenshot from 2021-05-25 12-42-20.png

His next video is in ~4 hours. Hopefully that will provide enough information that we'll know if this is a riddle than can be solved or not.

His Instagram's been pretty active. I don't think this is relevant to the hunt, but wtf is he doing
 
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Real Gay Autist

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

So his latest vid is just him singing a retarded Disney-style melody over his schizopoem. @MirnaMinkoff , musical mama, is that one of the songs from the musical?

The big find is that his next video is entitled Connor Murphy Wrote a 225 Page Book During His 40 Day Fast. Here it is for Free. Yup, he has a manifesto. And it's on Google Docs for our collective autistic viewing pleasure. Seems his IT skills are still in check.

The manifesto is entitled Insane or Enlightened? (170 Pages, 225 Book Pages)(Written during 40 Day fast) UNFINISHED - ADD YOUR OWN ENDING (Contest for DogeCoin). Made a local archive and will edit post once I upload (Edit 2: ZeroBin archive). It is around 110k words so it's huge and there is a lot in there, including him documenting his stay in the psych ward in a diary-style fashion. The syntax and punctuation seems to get a bit more coherent towards the end of the document.

It ends on a pretty ominous note: Little did I know, I would never escape the psychiatric ward that was my tortured soul. RIP Connor Murphy.

:story:


Edit 1:
The file contains the manifesto, twice, with separated by some whitespace and the text "or Enlightened?" (probably copied from the title, perhaps accidentally). I ran a comparison on the texts, and the only difference is the inclusion of the final line in the second iteration: "Little did I know, I would never escape the psychiatric ward that was my tortured soul. RIP Connor Murphy". Probably just some copy and paste error or some weird schizo message about duality or someshit. Here are some highlights.

Like all good novels, it has a strong and suspenseful opening chapter:
I am currently writing this book under the most unusual and unconventional circumstances and author has ever written a book. That’s a bold statement huh? Well please, show me the author who has me beat because I’d like to buy their book immediately. So what’s my current situation? Well let’s see…
I’m currently on day 5 of a 40 day fast. And I can promise this book will be completed by day 40 because most of it has already been written. I recently had what the doctors called a “manic episode” and I call a spiritual awakening where I wrote 22,000 words in less than 3 days. Imagine what I can do in 35. Ok, I admit. There might have been some mania involved, but I can promise you not an ounce of it was negative. This spiritual awakening had me thrown into the middle of the most complex, insane plan of my entire life. Because of the perfect execution of this plan, I spent 17 days in a psych ward. How did I get in there? Well because I faked my death in front of my 2.5 million youTube subscribers. Oh yeah, I’m a youtuber by the way. Why did I do this? Well, to tell the modern day story of Jesus and wake up the world. Confused yet? You should be. If you weren’t I wouldn’t have to write this book. I’ll get into the full story later, but I just want to let you know where I’m at right now.

His thoughts on mental health:
We are all crazy. 100%. But you need to sit down and seriously ask yourself this: who do you truly want to be? Someone who’s normal and suffering? Or someone who’s crazy and happy? If you ask yourself that question and look deep enough within, you’ll start to realize that the urge to be normal true insanity. You’ll start to realize that people like me aren’t the ones in psychosis, humanity is.

A lot on how he went down a twisted rabbit hole from spirituality to meditation to psychadelics:
So you would think Sam Harris’s meditation techniques and Dzogchen concepts would fulfill my spiritual hunger for a while. I certainly had a lot more to work on. But Sam’s wisdom didn’t stop there. The yearning for awakening dominated my life. Before I would feel a little low if my day wasn’t busy. At this point in time, nothing made me more excited than a perfectly clear schedule. It meant more meditation and more learning. I wanted more. Luckily, Sam gave me more. One morning as I was scrolling down the list of discussions on his app, I found an eye catching one. It was about something I was quite familiar with, but not in this context: psychedelics. At the time, I had taken my fair share of psychedelics. It all stemmed from festival culture. Once you attend an EDM festival with the enhancement of psychedelics, it’s almost impossible to attend one sober. I started out with ecstasy, the most common festival substance of choice. It’s hard for me to classify this as a psychedelic, because it doesn’t seem to cause any “hallucinations.” It simply makes you feel incredible. This was fine for my first couple festivale, but what I didn’t anticipate is going to 6 festivals in 2019. I understood ecstasy wasn’t the best for my health. It has been shown to potentially have neurotoxic effects, so I didn’t want to take it frequently. I decided that I would quit ecstasy all together to focus on my health and switch over to LSD instead. Many people will understand this switch but some will be puzzled. How is that healthier? You’re simply switching from one hard drug to the next. I hate the term “drug.” It gives useful substances bad connotations. It groups life ruining compounds in the same category as life saving compounds. It makes it difficult for people to think critically and educate themselves on the safety of each “drug.” Most people have no idea that LSD is extremely well tolerated by the body. The physical health effects of LSD are so minimal I would consider it less dangerous than caffeine. Most people have the misconception that the legality of a drug determines if a drug is “good” or “bad.” This is so obviously untrue. Psychedelic substances like LSD and psilocybin (the compound in magic mushrooms) have been shown to be extremely well tolerated by the body and not addictive at all. On the other hand, alcohol and tobacco has ruined the lives of countless people. These substances not only ruin people’s physical health, but the secondary effects of their addictions can harm their loved one’s as well. We need to become critical thinkers when it comes to mind altering substances. The personality trait of blindly embracing any government mandate is no more human than it is puppet. Research has shown psilocybin to help reduce anxiety and depression and even help reduce inflammation. The moral perception the world has about psychedelics is absolutely dumbfounding. I simply have no explanation for our sustained misjudgement.

A link to a random Google Doc. I requested access:

A lot about his childhood and being bullied for being an atheist:
Religion stopped making sense to me at a very young age. I began to realize my faith was low around 10 years old. The setting was around 2005 in Arkansas, right in the middle of the Midwest. The Bible belt. At the time, I would have been figuratively crucified if I were to express by true beliefs. Atheism and agnosticism were ruthlessly shunned. I remember in 7th grade there was one and only one openly atheist kid in the school. He was a total outcast. No kid wanted anything to do with him simply for his ideas of divinity. The sad part was, I was one of those kids. I wanted nothing to do with him. Not because I disagreed with this beliefs, but because I wanted to maintain the little social status that I had. At this time I was shy, nerdy looking kid who was regularly bullied. I absolutely hated my life at school. The last thing I wanted to do was give the bullies another reason to make my life a living hell. The sad part was, this outcast of the kid was the only one I related to. From a young age I was always a critical thinker. Somehow I was just resistant to brainwashing. I didn’t believe anyone or anything until I thought it through with logic. I don’t know where this superpower came from, but it truly is a superpower. This open mindedness is what allowed me to experience a spiritual awakening so early in life. But back then, it was the cause of a lot of suffering. I felt segregated from the rest of my community, and I had hide this feeling for my entire childhood. The idea of God and Jesus simply didn’t make any logical sense to me. Where and how does some man exist in the sky and how did his son come back to life from the dead? It simply didn’t abide by the laws of science I so diligently learned in science class. It simply wasn’t how I knew the world to work. How could I be the only one that thought this way? How could every single person I knew blindly believe a story out of a book? Faith they would say. Faith. How do you accumulate this faith? I wanted the faith. Of course I wanted to believe in God. That sounded wonderful. I was envious of people who did. I also wanted to believe in magic after reading the Harry Potter series. But I just couldn’t. Faith didn’t seem like a choice. And I was destined to live a life without faith.

Thoughts on Christianity
Let’s start out with one of the most famous quotes from Jesus that’s been lost in translation:
“I am the son of God”
This is from John 10:36. Now The King James Version of the Bible has “the” in italics before “Son of God” Most people infer this is for emphasis, but it’s not. Italics are used for words interpolated by the translators. “The,” was never actually there. It was added in the translation. You’ll find that the Greek bible said “son of God I am.” There was never any “the.” In the Greek language this is the same as having an indefinite article. There was simply an implied “a.” Jesus believed we are all sons of God meaning we all share the same God consciousness within all of us. Jesus never put himself above his fellow humans as if he were more divine. Don’t believe me? Well let’s look at some more verses that show this.
“Ye are Gods”
This is in Psalm 82:6. It should be getting more obvious. We are God. We are all the one God, the one ocean of consciousness. That is our true nature. That’s who we truly are.
“Whoever has seen me has seen the father”
This is from John 14:9. The true nature of Jesus is God, the father, consciousness itself. Many people considered that blasphemous, just as many will consider this book blasphemy, but Jesus was saying that his true nature and the father, or God, are the same entity.
“I and my father are one”
This is John 10:30. Again, Jesus is saying that he and God are the same thing.
“That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.”
This is from John 17:21. Here he is saying everything is one. All humans are part of the one collective consciousness, just as Jesus himself is.
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves”
This is from Mathew 16:24. Here Jesus is referring to “themselves” as their false selves, their egos. The false self is what holds back Jesus’ followers from experiencing his teaching of Christ consciousness, or the kingdom of heaven. Here Jesus is telling his followers to deny the illusory self so that the true self may be uncovered.
“The kingdom of heaven is within you and the kingdom of god does not come with observation”
This is from Luke 17:20-21. The kingdom of heaven is within you. I don’t know how he could be clearer. Heaven, Nirvana, true peace and happiness, and freedom from suffering is within you. You experience this when you break free from the ego and experience consciousness at its purest form. Heaven also doesn’t come with observation. Heaven is not an object you can sense such as an image, thought, or sensation. These objects are appearances in consciousness. The kingdom of God is the consciousness in which all these objects appear. It cannot be observed. It is the consciousness through which all else is observed.
Here is a great example of how Jesus conveys himself as divine as the average human:
“I am the light of the world” (John 8:12)
Wait for it…
“You are the light of the world” (Mathew 5:14)
Yes. I don’t know how it can’t be obvious now. The light that Jesus had within him is within all of us. It’s able to be uncovered by literally everyone. This light is God. This light is consciousness. At the core Jesus was no different from you and me. He was simply awake. He recognized his true nature. He was enlightened. You can be too.

and COVID:
Our mental and physical health is so terrible we became highly susceptible to a coronavirus. For some reason we blame this on the virus. Blaming a virus for you getting sick is like jumping in the cage of a tiger and blaming it for eating you. Let me rant for a little bit about COVID-19. This is what I think Jesus would say:
What if I told you viruses aren’t the issue? We are. What if I told you there’s a world out there where viruses, bacteria, and more complex life lived in perfect harmony, with no sickness? I want you to think of the amazon rainforest with so external influences. The pure natural amazon rainforest. Now I want you to imagine the tallest, most beautiful Dinizia tree you can think of. Don’t know what a Dinizia tree is? Just imagine a really cool big tree. Now imagine its life and the organisms it interacts with. In its natural state it lives symbiotically with fungi, plants, frogs, birds, monkeys, and all kinds of other life. Would it be the same tree without all this life around it? Could it stand alone? Maybe. But would it want to? Of course not. The tree is living harmoniously in one of the most beautiful ecosystems in the world. What if I told you we could be that tree? What if I told you in our natural state we interact symbiotically with viruses and bacteria with no issues? Let’s first talk about our natural biome and virome that we take for granted. Our first line of defense against disease is our skin. It’s the first stage of our immune system. On our skin we have millions of tiny microbes that live symbiotically with us, just as fungi live symbiotically on the roots of trees, helping them extract nutrients from the water and soil. How do our microbe friend help us? Well these microbes have been studied and it’s been shown that the skin ecosystem is much more complex than we think. The friendly bacteria on our skin actually alter the DNA of other more virulent microbes and actually make them less virulent. Yes, that’s right. Same bad bacteria, less likely to infect you. Virulent simply means likely to cause disease by the way. Good microbes also provide competition against bad microbes. The more good microbes we have on our body, the less likely we are to have bad ones. The biome is a commonly known thing but the virome is lesser known. We even have beneficial viruses on our skin. Research has shown that a higher diversity of certain non-virulent viruses decreases the probability of having certain virulent viruses on the skin. Bacteria and viruses are our friends, but we treat them like the enemies and ironically, it causes them to be the enemies. We kill off our friendly, disease fighting microbes and allow for an imbalance. We give the opportunity for bad microbes to flourish. The same goes with our gut microbes, which are arguably more important. We feel like we’re separate beings from these microbes but we’re not. They affect how we experience the world. There just as much a part of us as our minds. All of consciousness is one. They’ve actually done studies that should that gut bacteria can effect personality in mice. Yeah, not just physical health, mental health as well. They put unhealthy gut bacteria in mice and the mice had more anxiety. They took much more time to hop off a platform that the mice with healthy gut bacteria. Every bit of consciousness has an impact on how you experience consciousness because all consciousness it one. All consciousness is beautiful. All of consciousness can live in harmony. That’s it’s natural state. What really causes us to get sick? Well, we notice that some people get sick more often than others. In fact, we know that healthy people are less likely to get sick than unhealthy people. So why are we still blaming bacteria and viruses for disease? Why don’t we take responsibility for our health. Why haven’t we realized that the only possible way to get sick is through a fault somewhere in the immunes system? Just look at animals. Yes, disease happens. But in nature it’s far less likely than in society. Our health is terrible. We think getting sick a couple times per year is normal but it’s not. Our mental health is terrible. We have all this unnecessary stress caused by the ego. Our physical health is terrible. We put unnatural substances in and on our bodies. Our spiritual health is terrible which just amplifies our physical and mental health problems. We need to be careful because if our health continues to decline, these pandemics will become the norm.

and BLM:
Disease isn’t the only disaster in the world right now. In fact, the current chaos has made the world almost forget about COVID. The biggest mess in the world today is the Black Lives Matters protests. No don’t get me wrong, it should be obvious I’m against racism. I’m against any suffering of conscious beings. But these angry protests are a Band-Aid approach, just like western medicine. Sure, some reform might happen within the police force. Some cops might get longer sentences. But, the root problem won’t be solved. All angry protests do is further the separation of consciousness. There is no angry protest that will cure a bad cop. It won’t fix the evil within bad cops’ hearts. All this does is strengthen the cop’s ego, his false self. It increases the sense separation between him and the public. He feels like the public is the enemy. In the heat of the moment, he will still do terrible things. The external world cannot be changed in this way. It simply does not work. This is the fallacy of modern activism. People think getting angry and demanding change will cause change. It can only cause the illusion of change. The only way to truly make change happen is to look within and find your own true happiness. Once you do this, you can lead by example. The only to truly change someone else is for them to witness your energy. To see you are truly happy and yearn for it. Peaceful protests can work, but only if you emanate freedom from ego. Only if you truly do have peace in your heart. People respond to true happiness. Why would cops listen to angry protesters? Angry protesters aren’t happy. They have hate in their hearts as well. They are still controlled by ego. They still see themselves as separate. Would Jesus angrily protest? No. He would peacefully speak to the cops out of love. He would forgive them. He would realize that there’s a deeper entity within bad cops that is pure. It’s the evil of the ego that causes the corruption. It’s not the fault of the deeper entity. The consciousness within them is pure. It just needs to be uncovered. If only Jesus could be here to peacefully protest, like a 40 day fast. If only Jesus were here to tell people they must find the light within before the world can change. If only Jesus were here to tell people to
“First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Mathew 23:26)

and immortality:
Around this time I started hoping for immortality. [...] This way of thinking served me well for a while. In fact, it led to some self-improvement. I began to focus on health and longevity so I could live long enough to witness the invention of immortality. Now I definitely wasn’t happy. At this point in time I had just moved to Los Angeles as a rich and famous YouTuber. As you know, the realization that I wasn’t happy after essentially perfecting my life situation was depressing, but this thought of future immortality was able to numb the depression to a bearable level. I looked at it at the ultimate external accomplishment. If I became immortal, I could finally be happy. Just a few more decades of suffering. So all was well and good relatively speaking. At least I was doing better than before. Little did I know, what I thought of as an oasis of the mind was just a mirage in the mental desert of suffering.

and sex in Amsterdam:
The sexual frustration of men is the cause of much of the evil in the world, and Amsterdam limits it. Not only that but it normalised sexual desire. Sexual desire is a natural phenomenon within the biology of every human. Corrupt religions in the United States have caused sex to be demonized which is horrible for mental health. Repressing such a natural desire can only wreak havoc on the mind. Amsterdam is so sex freindly that not only id nudity legal, but sex in certain parks at night is decriminalized. When you can drop insecurities or even just lower them significantly, this is the type of world that begins to take shape. Also, even though technically still illegal, Amsterdam smartshops sell magic mushrooms and even peyotie, another psychedelic substance. Wow, I thought. This gives me hope. And this is still just the beginning. The world seems to have the ability to turn into a magical place. I want to do everything in my power to help speed up the process.

And, very interestingly, a mugging incident which seems to be a crucial turning point for his mental health. After this he seems to get much more paranoid and frightened:
It was 9 p.m. I had just gotten done working out at Gold’s Gym Venice, the most renowned bodybuilding gym on the planet. The gym Arnold used to lift at. I was fortunate enough to work out there every day. I could feel the energy in the air. Every time I gazed at the dozens of portraits of famous bodybuilders on the wall and could feel the history. There wasn’t a more motivating gym on the planet. My best workouts of my life took place in that gym. My workout partners were my two employees and best friends Alejandro and Phil. They moved to Los Angeles with me to do my videography and editing. Just like every night, we drove home to our nice little condo on Grant Street in Santa Monica. We had just smashed a chest workout and were excited to eat a protein packed post workout meal. We pulled into the garage in the alleyway behind our condo. We got out, picked up our gym bags, and started walking towards the gate. All of a sudden from about 50 feet away down the alleyway we heard some guy yell at us. “Wait! Hold up!” he screamed. Oh great, I thought. Another guy begging for money. Like I don’t get enough of that every time I go to Venice. He was a mixed guy wearing a baggy t-shirt. It was dark, but if I remember correctly he was some sort of mix of black and Latino. His messy dreadlocked hair flopped back and forth as he approached us. All of a sudden my heart skipped a beat when he was 15 feet away. He had a certain look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before and he had his left hand behind his back. My body immediately filled with adrenaline. I didn’t know exactly what was about to happen, but I knew I was in a dangerous situation. He pulled out his left hand behind his back and pointed a sliver glock at Alejandro, the middle of the three of us. Alejandro will never be able to get this next moment out of his mind. The guy cocked the glock and pointed it directly at Alejandro’s groin. Now I don’t know if this guy meant to do that, and looking back on it it’s slightly comical, but I can assure you in the moment it wasn’t. “You fella’s from around here?” he asked with the most intimidating tone he could muster up. We didn’t know the correct answer so we just kind of mumbled some vague answer. “You guys carrying any smack?” Oh. Now I see. This guys in a gang. He thinks we’re in another gang. And he thinks we’re carrying heroin in our gym backs. What. The. Fuck. We all innocently say no. “Empty your pockets and drop the bags!” he says in an increasingly aggressive manner. Of course we comply. At this point Alejandro turns around and starts sprinting down the alleyway in the opposite direction. Phil and I stand there frozen not knowing what to do. Without even acknowledging Alejandro’s escape he says, “Don’t ever be showing up in my alleyway again.” After this he waved the gun at us implying we were free to go. Phil and I run through the gate and up to our condo. We have no way to call the cops because they took our phones. Luckily, Alejandro jumped through the window of the nearby Jack in the Box and called the cops from there. Weirdly enough when the police came to check out the crime scene, our bags were set neatly by our gate. We thought they would steal them. I’ve never heard of someone robbing someone at gunpoint then being so considerate afterwards. At least we got our stuff back, but that was the least of our issues. We were all mentally traumatized. Life had never seemed so fragile.
After this, my mind took a weird turn. I had never really considered this before. What if I were to die early? I could pretty much guarantee immortality if a can just survive long enough for technology to get there. Some companies are guaranteeing 20 years so if I can survive double that I have to be good. You would think this was a pretty freeing thought. Not at all. It became the opposite. All of a sudden life had a far greater stake. With our current thinking, if we die young, yes it’s tragic, but a 20 year old casualty is only missing out on maybe 60 years of life. But what if immortality is guaranteed by the time he’s 80? Well then a 20 year old casualty is missing out on eternal life. All of a sudden everything in life seemed riskier. I became more paranoid. Was it even worth leaving the house? I could get into a car accident. I could get murdered. I was contemplating if I should just build an underground shelter and patiently wait until the solution for immortality came out so I didn’t risk dying beforehand. It didn’t take long before I snapped out of it. This was a horrible way to live. It’s not worth it. I would rather die that live a life in fear. I needed more answers.

And, finally, his masterplan:
Here’s the psychotic plan that was implanted into my mind:
1. Post some YouTube videos of me “enlightening” some of my friends. The idea would be to teach spirituality to them, but to do so in a way only a few people would understand. These people would be my “disciples” and the other people would call me crazy and blasphemous like they did Jesus. I knew exactly who would understand and who wouldn’t.
2. Fake my death. I would post a YouTube video crying and acting depressed. I would say I’m going to kill myself.
3. Call the cops on myself to make sure they start looking for me. Eventually, I wanted to be willingly arrested just like Jesus was.
4. While the cops are looking for me, film footage of me acting like Jesus. I would do good deeds, teach my version of Jesus’s teachings, and see if I could perform any “miracles.”
5. Get arrested.
6. Get admitted to a psych ward. This shouldn’t be too hard since everyone will think I’m suicidal. The psych ward would be my “tomb.” It’s confidential so it wouldn’t be able to get out that I was still alive.
7. Stay in there for 3 days, then “rise again” on the third day. I would make a YouTube video and Instagram post revealing that I was alive.
8. Make a YouTube video revealing the entire plan. This has to be done meticulously, or I’ll be hated for faking my death and/or comparing myself to Jesus. I would need to explain the true story of Jesus like how he was simply a human who taught enlightenment, and tried to rid the world of ego so people could reach the kingdom of heaven, or Christ consciousness. Oh yeah, and that he faked his death. It would also be a must to emphasize how I did this for the good of humanity.
9. Hopefully some people would have some epiphanies just like I did when reading the Power of Now about the true nature of Jesus and his teachings. This would get people on the path to practicing spirituality and awakening.
10. Prepare for the hate.

There's a lot more in there to analyze but I'll leave it like this for now.
 
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MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

So his latest vid is just him singing a retarded Disney-style melody over his schizopoem. @MirnaMinkoff , musical mama, is that one of the songs from the musical?

The big find is that his next video is entitled Connor Murphy Wrote a 225 Page Book During His 40 Day Fast. Here it is for Free. Yup, he has a manifesto. And it's on Google Docs for our collective autistic viewing pleasure. Seems his IT skills are still in check.

The manifesto is entitled Insane or Enlightened? (170 Pages, 225 Book Pages)(Written during 40 Day fast) UNFINISHED - ADD YOUR OWN ENDING (Contest for DogeCoin). Made a local archive and will edit post once I upload (Edit 2: ZeroBin archive). It is around 110k words so it's huge and there is a lot in there, including him documenting his stay in the psych ward in a diary-style fashion. The syntax and punctuation seems to get a bit more coherent towards the end of the document.

It ends on a pretty ominous note: Little did I know, I would never escape the psychiatric ward that was my tortured soul. RIP Connor Murphy.

:story:


Edit 1:
The file contains the manifesto, twice, with separated by some whitespace and the text "or Enlightened?" (probably copied from the title, perhaps accidentally). I ran a comparison on the texts, and the only difference is the inclusion of the final line in the second iteration: "Little did I know, I would never escape the psychiatric ward that was my tortured soul. RIP Connor Murphy". Probably just some copy and paste error or some weird schizo message about duality or someshit. Here are some highlights.

Like all good novels, it has a strong and suspenseful opening chapter:
I am currently writing this book under the most unusual and unconventional circumstances and author has ever written a book. That’s a bold statement huh? Well please, show me the author who has me beat because I’d like to buy their book immediately. So what’s my current situation? Well let’s see…
I’m currently on day 5 of a 40 day fast. And I can promise this book will be completed by day 40 because most of it has already been written. I recently had what the doctors called a “manic episode” and I call a spiritual awakening where I wrote 22,000 words in less than 3 days. Imagine what I can do in 35. Ok, I admit. There might have been some mania involved, but I can promise you not an ounce of it was negative. This spiritual awakening had me thrown into the middle of the most complex, insane plan of my entire life. Because of the perfect execution of this plan, I spent 17 days in a psych ward. How did I get in there? Well because I faked my death in front of my 2.5 million youTube subscribers. Oh yeah, I’m a youtuber by the way. Why did I do this? Well, to tell the modern day story of Jesus and wake up the world. Confused yet? You should be. If you weren’t I wouldn’t have to write this book. I’ll get into the full story later, but I just want to let you know where I’m at right now.

His thoughts on mental health:
We are all crazy. 100%. But you need to sit down and seriously ask yourself this: who do you truly want to be? Someone who’s normal and suffering? Or someone who’s crazy and happy? If you ask yourself that question and look deep enough within, you’ll start to realize that the urge to be normal true insanity. You’ll start to realize that people like me aren’t the ones in psychosis, humanity is.

A lot on how he went down a twisted rabbit hole from spirituality to meditation to psychadelics:
So you would think Sam Harris’s meditation techniques and Dzogchen concepts would fulfill my spiritual hunger for a while. I certainly had a lot more to work on. But Sam’s wisdom didn’t stop there. The yearning for awakening dominated my life. Before I would feel a little low if my day wasn’t busy. At this point in time, nothing made me more excited than a perfectly clear schedule. It meant more meditation and more learning. I wanted more. Luckily, Sam gave me more. One morning as I was scrolling down the list of discussions on his app, I found an eye catching one. It was about something I was quite familiar with, but not in this context: psychedelics. At the time, I had taken my fair share of psychedelics. It all stemmed from festival culture. Once you attend an EDM festival with the enhancement of psychedelics, it’s almost impossible to attend one sober. I started out with ecstasy, the most common festival substance of choice. It’s hard for me to classify this as a psychedelic, because it doesn’t seem to cause any “hallucinations.” It simply makes you feel incredible. This was fine for my first couple festivale, but what I didn’t anticipate is going to 6 festivals in 2019. I understood ecstasy wasn’t the best for my health. It has been shown to potentially have neurotoxic effects, so I didn’t want to take it frequently. I decided that I would quit ecstasy all together to focus on my health and switch over to LSD instead. Many people will understand this switch but some will be puzzled. How is that healthier? You’re simply switching from one hard drug to the next. I hate the term “drug.” It gives useful substances bad connotations. It groups life ruining compounds in the same category as life saving compounds. It makes it difficult for people to think critically and educate themselves on the safety of each “drug.” Most people have no idea that LSD is extremely well tolerated by the body. The physical health effects of LSD are so minimal I would consider it less dangerous than caffeine. Most people have the misconception that the legality of a drug determines if a drug is “good” or “bad.” This is so obviously untrue. Psychedelic substances like LSD and psilocybin (the compound in magic mushrooms) have been shown to be extremely well tolerated by the body and not addictive at all. On the other hand, alcohol and tobacco has ruined the lives of countless people. These substances not only ruin people’s physical health, but the secondary effects of their addictions can harm their loved one’s as well. We need to become critical thinkers when it comes to mind altering substances. The personality trait of blindly embracing any government mandate is no more human than it is puppet. Research has shown psilocybin to help reduce anxiety and depression and even help reduce inflammation. The moral perception the world has about psychedelics is absolutely dumbfounding. I simply have no explanation for our sustained misjudgement.

A link to a random Google Doc. I requested access:

A lot about his childhood and being bullied for being an atheist:
Religion stopped making sense to me at a very young age. I began to realize my faith was low around 10 years old. The setting was around 2005 in Arkansas, right in the middle of the Midwest. The Bible belt. At the time, I would have been figuratively crucified if I were to express by true beliefs. Atheism and agnosticism were ruthlessly shunned. I remember in 7th grade there was one and only one openly atheist kid in the school. He was a total outcast. No kid wanted anything to do with him simply for his ideas of divinity. The sad part was, I was one of those kids. I wanted nothing to do with him. Not because I disagreed with this beliefs, but because I wanted to maintain the little social status that I had. At this time I was shy, nerdy looking kid who was regularly bullied. I absolutely hated my life at school. The last thing I wanted to do was give the bullies another reason to make my life a living hell. The sad part was, this outcast of the kid was the only one I related to. From a young age I was always a critical thinker. Somehow I was just resistant to brainwashing. I didn’t believe anyone or anything until I thought it through with logic. I don’t know where this superpower came from, but it truly is a superpower. This open mindedness is what allowed me to experience a spiritual awakening so early in life. But back then, it was the cause of a lot of suffering. I felt segregated from the rest of my community, and I had hide this feeling for my entire childhood. The idea of God and Jesus simply didn’t make any logical sense to me. Where and how does some man exist in the sky and how did his son come back to life from the dead? It simply didn’t abide by the laws of science I so diligently learned in science class. It simply wasn’t how I knew the world to work. How could I be the only one that thought this way? How could every single person I knew blindly believe a story out of a book? Faith they would say. Faith. How do you accumulate this faith? I wanted the faith. Of course I wanted to believe in God. That sounded wonderful. I was envious of people who did. I also wanted to believe in magic after reading the Harry Potter series. But I just couldn’t. Faith didn’t seem like a choice. And I was destined to live a life without faith.

Thoughts on Christianity
Let’s start out with one of the most famous quotes from Jesus that’s been lost in translation:
“I am the son of God”
This is from John 10:36. Now The King James Version of the Bible has “the” in italics before “Son of God” Most people infer this is for emphasis, but it’s not. Italics are used for words interpolated by the translators. “The,” was never actually there. It was added in the translation. You’ll find that the Greek bible said “son of God I am.” There was never any “the.” In the Greek language this is the same as having an indefinite article. There was simply an implied “a.” Jesus believed we are all sons of God meaning we all share the same God consciousness within all of us. Jesus never put himself above his fellow humans as if he were more divine. Don’t believe me? Well let’s look at some more verses that show this.
“Ye are Gods”
This is in Psalm 82:6. It should be getting more obvious. We are God. We are all the one God, the one ocean of consciousness. That is our true nature. That’s who we truly are.
“Whoever has seen me has seen the father”
This is from John 14:9. The true nature of Jesus is God, the father, consciousness itself. Many people considered that blasphemous, just as many will consider this book blasphemy, but Jesus was saying that his true nature and the father, or God, are the same entity.
“I and my father are one”
This is John 10:30. Again, Jesus is saying that he and God are the same thing.
“That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.”
This is from John 17:21. Here he is saying everything is one. All humans are part of the one collective consciousness, just as Jesus himself is.
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves”
This is from Mathew 16:24. Here Jesus is referring to “themselves” as their false selves, their egos. The false self is what holds back Jesus’ followers from experiencing his teaching of Christ consciousness, or the kingdom of heaven. Here Jesus is telling his followers to deny the illusory self so that the true self may be uncovered.
“The kingdom of heaven is within you and the kingdom of god does not come with observation”
This is from Luke 17:20-21. The kingdom of heaven is within you. I don’t know how he could be clearer. Heaven, Nirvana, true peace and happiness, and freedom from suffering is within you. You experience this when you break free from the ego and experience consciousness at its purest form. Heaven also doesn’t come with observation. Heaven is not an object you can sense such as an image, thought, or sensation. These objects are appearances in consciousness. The kingdom of God is the consciousness in which all these objects appear. It cannot be observed. It is the consciousness through which all else is observed.
Here is a great example of how Jesus conveys himself as divine as the average human:
“I am the light of the world” (John 8:12)
Wait for it…
“You are the light of the world” (Mathew 5:14)
Yes. I don’t know how it can’t be obvious now. The light that Jesus had within him is within all of us. It’s able to be uncovered by literally everyone. This light is God. This light is consciousness. At the core Jesus was no different from you and me. He was simply awake. He recognized his true nature. He was enlightened. You can be too.

and COVID:
Our mental and physical health is so terrible we became highly susceptible to a coronavirus. For some reason we blame this on the virus. Blaming a virus for you getting sick is like jumping in the cage of a tiger and blaming it for eating you. Let me rant for a little bit about COVID-19. This is what I think Jesus would say:
What if I told you viruses aren’t the issue? We are. What if I told you there’s a world out there where viruses, bacteria, and more complex life lived in perfect harmony, with no sickness? I want you to think of the amazon rainforest with so external influences. The pure natural amazon rainforest. Now I want you to imagine the tallest, most beautiful Dinizia tree you can think of. Don’t know what a Dinizia tree is? Just imagine a really cool big tree. Now imagine its life and the organisms it interacts with. In its natural state it lives symbiotically with fungi, plants, frogs, birds, monkeys, and all kinds of other life. Would it be the same tree without all this life around it? Could it stand alone? Maybe. But would it want to? Of course not. The tree is living harmoniously in one of the most beautiful ecosystems in the world. What if I told you we could be that tree? What if I told you in our natural state we interact symbiotically with viruses and bacteria with no issues? Let’s first talk about our natural biome and virome that we take for granted. Our first line of defense against disease is our skin. It’s the first stage of our immune system. On our skin we have millions of tiny microbes that live symbiotically with us, just as fungi live symbiotically on the roots of trees, helping them extract nutrients from the water and soil. How do our microbe friend help us? Well these microbes have been studied and it’s been shown that the skin ecosystem is much more complex than we think. The friendly bacteria on our skin actually alter the DNA of other more virulent microbes and actually make them less virulent. Yes, that’s right. Same bad bacteria, less likely to infect you. Virulent simply means likely to cause disease by the way. Good microbes also provide competition against bad microbes. The more good microbes we have on our body, the less likely we are to have bad ones. The biome is a commonly known thing but the virome is lesser known. We even have beneficial viruses on our skin. Research has shown that a higher diversity of certain non-virulent viruses decreases the probability of having certain virulent viruses on the skin. Bacteria and viruses are our friends, but we treat them like the enemies and ironically, it causes them to be the enemies. We kill off our friendly, disease fighting microbes and allow for an imbalance. We give the opportunity for bad microbes to flourish. The same goes with our gut microbes, which are arguably more important. We feel like we’re separate beings from these microbes but we’re not. They affect how we experience the world. There just as much a part of us as our minds. All of consciousness is one. They’ve actually done studies that should that gut bacteria can effect personality in mice. Yeah, not just physical health, mental health as well. They put unhealthy gut bacteria in mice and the mice had more anxiety. They took much more time to hop off a platform that the mice with healthy gut bacteria. Every bit of consciousness has an impact on how you experience consciousness because all consciousness it one. All consciousness is beautiful. All of consciousness can live in harmony. That’s it’s natural state. What really causes us to get sick? Well, we notice that some people get sick more often than others. In fact, we know that healthy people are less likely to get sick than unhealthy people. So why are we still blaming bacteria and viruses for disease? Why don’t we take responsibility for our health. Why haven’t we realized that the only possible way to get sick is through a fault somewhere in the immunes system? Just look at animals. Yes, disease happens. But in nature it’s far less likely than in society. Our health is terrible. We think getting sick a couple times per year is normal but it’s not. Our mental health is terrible. We have all this unnecessary stress caused by the ego. Our physical health is terrible. We put unnatural substances in and on our bodies. Our spiritual health is terrible which just amplifies our physical and mental health problems. We need to be careful because if our health continues to decline, these pandemics will become the norm.

and BLM:
Disease isn’t the only disaster in the world right now. In fact, the current chaos has made the world almost forget about COVID. The biggest mess in the world today is the Black Lives Matters protests. No don’t get me wrong, it should be obvious I’m against racism. I’m against any suffering of conscious beings. But these angry protests are a Band-Aid approach, just like western medicine. Sure, some reform might happen within the police force. Some cops might get longer sentences. But, the root problem won’t be solved. All angry protests do is further the separation of consciousness. There is no angry protest that will cure a bad cop. It won’t fix the evil within bad cops’ hearts. All this does is strengthen the cop’s ego, his false self. It increases the sense separation between him and the public. He feels like the public is the enemy. In the heat of the moment, he will still do terrible things. The external world cannot be changed in this way. It simply does not work. This is the fallacy of modern activism. People think getting angry and demanding change will cause change. It can only cause the illusion of change. The only way to truly make change happen is to look within and find your own true happiness. Once you do this, you can lead by example. The only to truly change someone else is for them to witness your energy. To see you are truly happy and yearn for it. Peaceful protests can work, but only if you emanate freedom from ego. Only if you truly do have peace in your heart. People respond to true happiness. Why would cops listen to angry protesters? Angry protesters aren’t happy. They have hate in their hearts as well. They are still controlled by ego. They still see themselves as separate. Would Jesus angrily protest? No. He would peacefully speak to the cops out of love. He would forgive them. He would realize that there’s a deeper entity within bad cops that is pure. It’s the evil of the ego that causes the corruption. It’s not the fault of the deeper entity. The consciousness within them is pure. It just needs to be uncovered. If only Jesus could be here to peacefully protest, like a 40 day fast. If only Jesus were here to tell people they must find the light within before the world can change. If only Jesus were here to tell people to
“First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” (Mathew 23:26)

and immortality:
Around this time I started hoping for immortality. [...] This way of thinking served me well for a while. In fact, it led to some self-improvement. I began to focus on health and longevity so I could live long enough to witness the invention of immortality. Now I definitely wasn’t happy. At this point in time I had just moved to Los Angeles as a rich and famous YouTuber. As you know, the realization that I wasn’t happy after essentially perfecting my life situation was depressing, but this thought of future immortality was able to numb the depression to a bearable level. I looked at it at the ultimate external accomplishment. If I became immortal, I could finally be happy. Just a few more decades of suffering. So all was well and good relatively speaking. At least I was doing better than before. Little did I know, what I thought of as an oasis of the mind was just a mirage in the mental desert of suffering.

and sex in Amsterdam:
The sexual frustration of men is the cause of much of the evil in the world, and Amsterdam limits it. Not only that but it normalised sexual desire. Sexual desire is a natural phenomenon within the biology of every human. Corrupt religions in the United States have caused sex to be demonized which is horrible for mental health. Repressing such a natural desire can only wreak havoc on the mind. Amsterdam is so sex freindly that not only id nudity legal, but sex in certain parks at night is decriminalized. When you can drop insecurities or even just lower them significantly, this is the type of world that begins to take shape. Also, even though technically still illegal, Amsterdam smartshops sell magic mushrooms and even peyotie, another psychedelic substance. Wow, I thought. This gives me hope. And this is still just the beginning. The world seems to have the ability to turn into a magical place. I want to do everything in my power to help speed up the process.

And, very interestingly, a mugging incident which seems to be a crucial turning point for his mental health. After this he seems to get much more paranoid and frightened:
It was 9 p.m. I had just gotten done working out at Gold’s Gym Venice, the most renowned bodybuilding gym on the planet. The gym Arnold used to lift at. I was fortunate enough to work out there every day. I could feel the energy in the air. Every time I gazed at the dozens of portraits of famous bodybuilders on the wall and could feel the history. There wasn’t a more motivating gym on the planet. My best workouts of my life took place in that gym. My workout partners were my two employees and best friends Alejandro and Phil. They moved to Los Angeles with me to do my videography and editing. Just like every night, we drove home to our nice little condo on Grant Street in Santa Monica. We had just smashed a chest workout and were excited to eat a protein packed post workout meal. We pulled into the garage in the alleyway behind our condo. We got out, picked up our gym bags, and started walking towards the gate. All of a sudden from about 50 feet away down the alleyway we heard some guy yell at us. “Wait! Hold up!” he screamed. Oh great, I thought. Another guy begging for money. Like I don’t get enough of that every time I go to Venice. He was a mixed guy wearing a baggy t-shirt. It was dark, but if I remember correctly he was some sort of mix of black and Latino. His messy dreadlocked hair flopped back and forth as he approached us. All of a sudden my heart skipped a beat when he was 15 feet away. He had a certain look in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before and he had his left hand behind his back. My body immediately filled with adrenaline. I didn’t know exactly what was about to happen, but I knew I was in a dangerous situation. He pulled out his left hand behind his back and pointed a sliver glock at Alejandro, the middle of the three of us. Alejandro will never be able to get this next moment out of his mind. The guy cocked the glock and pointed it directly at Alejandro’s groin. Now I don’t know if this guy meant to do that, and looking back on it it’s slightly comical, but I can assure you in the moment it wasn’t. “You fella’s from around here?” he asked with the most intimidating tone he could muster up. We didn’t know the correct answer so we just kind of mumbled some vague answer. “You guys carrying any smack?” Oh. Now I see. This guys in a gang. He thinks we’re in another gang. And he thinks we’re carrying heroin in our gym backs. What. The. Fuck. We all innocently say no. “Empty your pockets and drop the bags!” he says in an increasingly aggressive manner. Of course we comply. At this point Alejandro turns around and starts sprinting down the alleyway in the opposite direction. Phil and I stand there frozen not knowing what to do. Without even acknowledging Alejandro’s escape he says, “Don’t ever be showing up in my alleyway again.” After this he waved the gun at us implying we were free to go. Phil and I run through the gate and up to our condo. We have no way to call the cops because they took our phones. Luckily, Alejandro jumped through the window of the nearby Jack in the Box and called the cops from there. Weirdly enough when the police came to check out the crime scene, our bags were set neatly by our gate. We thought they would steal them. I’ve never heard of someone robbing someone at gunpoint then being so considerate afterwards. At least we got our stuff back, but that was the least of our issues. We were all mentally traumatized. Life had never seemed so fragile.
After this, my mind took a weird turn. I had never really considered this before. What if I were to die early? I could pretty much guarantee immortality if a can just survive long enough for technology to get there. Some companies are guaranteeing 20 years so if I can survive double that I have to be good. You would think this was a pretty freeing thought. Not at all. It became the opposite. All of a sudden life had a far greater stake. With our current thinking, if we die young, yes it’s tragic, but a 20 year old casualty is only missing out on maybe 60 years of life. But what if immortality is guaranteed by the time he’s 80? Well then a 20 year old casualty is missing out on eternal life. All of a sudden everything in life seemed riskier. I became more paranoid. Was it even worth leaving the house? I could get into a car accident. I could get murdered. I was contemplating if I should just build an underground shelter and patiently wait until the solution for immortality came out so I didn’t risk dying beforehand. It didn’t take long before I snapped out of it. This was a horrible way to live. It’s not worth it. I would rather die that live a life in fear. I needed more answers.

And, finally, his masterplan:
Here’s the psychotic plan that was implanted into my mind:
1. Post some YouTube videos of me “enlightening” some of my friends. The idea would be to teach spirituality to them, but to do so in a way only a few people would understand. These people would be my “disciples” and the other people would call me crazy and blasphemous like they did Jesus. I knew exactly who would understand and who wouldn’t.
2. Fake my death. I would post a YouTube video crying and acting depressed. I would say I’m going to kill myself.
3. Call the cops on myself to make sure they start looking for me. Eventually, I wanted to be willingly arrested just like Jesus was.
4. While the cops are looking for me, film footage of me acting like Jesus. I would do good deeds, teach my version of Jesus’s teachings, and see if I could perform any “miracles.”
5. Get arrested.
6. Get admitted to a psych ward. This shouldn’t be too hard since everyone will think I’m suicidal. The psych ward would be my “tomb.” It’s confidential so it wouldn’t be able to get out that I was still alive.
7. Stay in there for 3 days, then “rise again” on the third day. I would make a YouTube video and Instagram post revealing that I was alive.
8. Make a YouTube video revealing the entire plan. This has to be done meticulously, or I’ll be hated for faking my death and/or comparing myself to Jesus. I would need to explain the true story of Jesus like how he was simply a human who taught enlightenment, and tried to rid the world of ego so people could reach the kingdom of heaven, or Christ consciousness. Oh yeah, and that he faked his death. It would also be a must to emphasize how I did this for the good of humanity.
9. Hopefully some people would have some epiphanies just like I did when reading the Power of Now about the true nature of Jesus and his teachings. This would get people on the path to practicing spirituality and awakening.
10. Prepare for the hate.

There's a lot more in there to analyze but I'll leave it like this for now.
Oh, I’m excited to read the manifesto! Guess I know where an hour of my evening will be going tonight.

Keep in mind the manifesto might seem more coherent only because he wrote it like 10 months ago. I think the fast was last summer? It was after his first DMT mind melt and hospital stay but long before he was dosing himself daily for months on end and had decided cum and piss drinking was awesome.

Idk if what he’s singing is from the musical or not.

I don’t think it’s a song from the musical but honestly I’m not that familiar with the songs. I just was familiar with the plot synopsis. It’s easy to recognize when there’s a professional score accompanying the singing but not when Conner just schizo signing solo. It doesn’t have the lyrical flow or content I’d expect of a “Broadway musical” ditty but I can’t understand half of what he’s even singing.
 

tehpope

My Face Everyday | Archivist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

So his latest vid is just him singing a retarded Disney-style melody over his schizopoem. @MirnaMinkoff , musical mama, is that one of the songs from the musical?

The big find is that his next video is entitled Connor Murphy Wrote a 225 Page Book During His 40 Day Fast. Here it is for Free. Yup, he has a manifesto. And it's on Google Docs for our collective autistic viewing pleasure. Seems his IT skills are still in check.

The manifesto is entitled Insane or Enlightened? (170 Pages, 225 Book Pages)(Written during 40 Day fast) UNFINISHED - ADD YOUR OWN ENDING (Contest for DogeCoin). Made a local archive and will edit post once I upload (Edit 2: ZeroBin archive). It is around 110k words so it's huge and there is a lot in there, including him documenting his stay in the psych ward in a diary-style fashion. The syntax and punctuation seems to get a bit more coherent towards the end of the document.

It ends on a pretty ominous note: Little did I know, I would never escape the psychiatric ward that was my tortured soul. RIP Connor Murphy.


Video archive and archive of the Google Doc. I tried to keep the formating the same.
 

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  • Insane or Enlightened.docx
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